My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[wdwfan16]

Excuse me while I put my Flameproof jacket. OK now I'm ready

I'm think that you have to accept some blame here. I have 4 kids and I knew that if I took them out and 1). they hadn't napped or 2). I took them on too many errands or 3). It was 3 pm I was in for it. They were going to be holy terrors and it probably wasn't worth it taking them out right then. Why are you surprized that other people aren't thrilled with your kid screetching??? Should the woman had said something? No. But everyone in the store was probably cheering when you left. I'm sorry I don't mean to be harsh but we've all been in your shoes and we as parents are the ones at the most fault. The child should have been home to have their nap. You shouldn't have dragged her out to Walmart or anywhere else or be prepared for people not appreciating it.

That said you know your child isn't a brat she was tired and over stressed. We Moms try to do too much in too little time. And occasionally we pay the price in cranky kids, cranky husbands and cranky Moms. Be extra nice to yourself tonight, take a deep breathe and try again tomarrow. Parenting isn't for the faint of heart.

No flames from me. I hate screeching children.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Rules people....rules.

4's -

 

[mhsjax]

I am so sorry that happened to you. There is NO WAY she went through the toddler years without one meltdown from one of her kids. She is LYING.
Little story. When my middle son was about 2 we were in Wal-Mart and he had the meltdown of all meltdowns. He was tired and wanted something. (Can't remember now) Everyone was looking at us and even my oldest son was just staring at him. Some lady said something to me about my sons behavior and I told her to fix it if she thinks she can but she can't touch him. Needless to say she went away.
I hate it when total strangers think they now your kids better than you do.
Hugs to you.

I am sorry t happened too, she should have just left it alone. No non like to hear a child having a meltdown but if you don't like it then just go away. However, she may have not been lying. I have 3 and I can guarantee that they never had a melt down in public. They knew better, and to this day they still laugh when we are out and say that if that kid belonged to us, he would be in serious trouble mom, you wouldn't put up with that would you? I laugh and say nope I wouldn't, so you better raise your kids that way because grandma won't put up with it either.

 

[Jennasis]

Thanks to those who gave and was supportive. I really do appreciate it and it helped.

Im not going to comment any further because I find myself feeling like I have to defend to certain posters, my decisions or actions. I feel like I would probably say something I shouldn't. So not worth getting worked up again or making myself look "like I lost my mind".


Critism and judgements of other people are hurtful. Just remember how when you feel critised and judged at some point in your life, how you made someone else feel when you did it to them. What comes around goes around at some point. FYI---THIS STATEMENT WAS A GENERAL STATEMENT AND NOT DIRECTED AT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON.

IM OUTTY.....

Why? Because you were getting some dissenting opinions? Nobody suggested that this woman was well within her rights to talk like that to you. Almost everyone sympathized with you about dealing with the loon. However, SCREECHING (to be obnoxious or to "hear herself") in a store is unacceptable behavior.

SCREECHING. Not babbling. Not laughing. SCREECHING.

That's what your kid was doing. Not cool.

Crazy lady? TOTALLY not cool.

 

[wvjules]

Op, your OP and follow-ups tell me that you are way too sensitive. Get a thicker skin! Also, the world does NOT revolve around you and your screeching DD. You should have removed her from the situation. Maybe YOU should be the one shopping online.

BTW, I think the lady was wrong as well but so were you.

 

[wdwfan16]

Thank you to all the supportive posters......Having 5 children, 4 of whom are in many extracurricular activities and a dh who is out of town for a week and when he is home, works 12 hour days, spends 1 1/2hrs.commuting each day and has limited days off....I don't get many opportunities to shop alone. That said, I will shop anytime I have to and want to, during the day. I do the best I can.

My dd2 has had many non nap days and was a perfect angel, been shopping during the afternoon many times with absolutely no issues.

Did I get annoyed or mad at this woman for the hugea-- motorized thing she was on getting in my way or taking up the entire aisle? Or the annoying beeping noises from the dang thing when she put it in reverse. Or her ugly, dorky looking halloween clothes(she should have been wearing a witch costume to match her personality)? No, its called tolerating and dealing with people/everyday life situations.

Maybe HER mother should have taught her not to be arragant and rude to people. I bet she was the biggest brat of all and looks like shes carried it into adulthood.

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.

If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE.

My baby was strapped into a cart not doing anything but making noise. Not running wildly through a store or pulling stuff off shelves. I don't see any reason for someone to say "take care of your child", "she's a brat", "your a b....". Im so glad my dd2 didn't understand what came out of the womans mouth. Or that my other 4 children were with me and heard someone call their mother that.

When it comes down to it, that kind of behavior from an adult versus a 2 yr. old who doesn't know any better, is whats wrong in this day and age. If we had kinder, more understanding, tolerable people out there, the world would be a much better place.

The judgemental people here must never have been in this situation or don't have kids. I really would love to see what you would have done. I will shop anytime I wish to. The situation imo, did not call for me to leave the store, which I will state, has NEVER happened! I need to get what I need to get and have no other time to do it. I run the household and the kids, they don't run me. That said, I would not deliberatly take a melting down, screaming kid
into a public place. But a kid who is being loud????

Its amazing to me how some moms are so judgemental and criticising of other moms. We are all doing the same thing. I would think we would be more supportive and understanding of each other. Not say, "you shouldn't have done this or you should have done that".

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.

I tend to be a very emotional, tenderhearted person. I wish I was more thickskinned(probably comes with being teased as a kid for having red hair.)

Being criticised for the most important job of your life, hurts and sucks.

Wow, that wasn't judgmental was it? So I have lost my mind now because I got upset? So my reaction is wrong because you wouldn't have reacted like that? My mom is VERY supportive, sorry yours would have thought you lost your mind.

See above. You are such a sweet and kind person.

 

[JoanGirardi]

While the rude lady should have kept her mouth shut, IMO you should have been starting to teach your 2 year old about appropriate places to screech. If she wasn't unhappy, she probably could have been easily distracted and engaged so that she didn't shriek in public. At 2, she's old enough to begin to learn about inside voices and different behavior in public and at home.

This forum is great for getting all kinds of opinions from all kinds of people. You've got to be ready to hear them all if you're going to post here. Again, that's just my opinion. Don't let any of it get you down, Mom. We all do the best we can.

 

[Tikitoi]

If I knew this was due to mine not having a nap, I would have had them home. Still gives no one any right to call your kids names.

 

[taximomfor4]

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.

I

There might be a big difference between your philosophy and mine (and apparently many of the pp's....to me (us?) Public Places do NOT equate to noisy. Public INDOOR places equate to indoor voices.

I must say, those 2 differing philosophies do NOT mesh well, lol.

To the pp's who have left a full cart, BTDT too. Oldest dd could be a bear, out of the blue sometimes. Especially at completely random intervals between 18 mos and 3 yrs old.

 

[Darsa]

Still gives no one any right to call your kids names.

Exactly my thoughts; I didn't read the entirety of this thread but I don't care WHY a kid is fussing, you don't walk up to their parents and tell 'em their kid's a brat. Just plain wrong.

 

[just4today]

Another vote for "the woman was wrong to say anything, but YOU were wrong to allow your child to continue screeching." Being in a public place is no excuse for that.

 

[We Want The Redhead]

There were times when my baby/kid was crying in a store and while I would have loved to take them out and forget the whole shopping excursion, sometimes that simply was not feasible. It was either take the kid home or not have food on the table that night.

On those occasions some people would give me dirty looks or make comments. I would just hurry up and finish my shopping and leave. I didn't take what those idiots said to heart, because I KNEW I was a good mom.


Now if we were in a restaurant or church with a fussy kid, I would leave because that was an option.



Sometimes I think we don't realize how disruptive our kids can be, because we are used to their craziness. And while no child should be called names by a stranger, I think moms need to realize that their kids aren't perfect and sometimes they really are being bratty.

I have no idea if this was the case for the OP, of course. I am just offering up an opinion in general.

 

[We Want The Redhead]

Once we were on a plane to WDW, and my 4 month old decided he needed to scream and cry at the top of his lungs. What were our options? Jump out of the plane? I was trying my very best to soothe him and NOTHING worked.

Finally after people made some rude comments, my dh stood up and said ( I cant recall exactly, but it was something like this) "Look, we are very sorry. We want him to shut up too, but he won't. He's 4 months old. There's not alot we can do. I apologize for disrupting the flight, but if any of you can make him quit screaming please feel free to do so."


One person actually said "Have you tried giving him a bottle or pacifier?" lol. No lady, we didn't think of that. Thanks.

 

[KristinBelle]

to you OP. People can be so rude

 

[The Orchid]

No flames from me. I hate screeching children.

Me too. I have sensitive ears and when children do that high pitched screeching, it causes me real physical pain. I can handle crying and even occasional screaming, but that screeching noise is like a knife stabbing my ear drums. I think most people can handle normal kid stuff, but screeching isn't normal. A parent has to teach their child to use their "indoor voice" and screeching is not an indoor voice. I don't get where this, "We're in a public place so she can be as loud as she wants" notion comes from. I was taught just the opposite from my mum and I taught my child the same thing; when you are in public, you must respect other people and keep your voice at a conversational level or lower. Screaming, yelling and especially screeching are just not acceptable or respectful to the other customers.

 

[MIGrandma]

So you got some opposing viewpoints and you're "outta here." I'm sorry but when you post something like what you posted, you have to expect to get all kinds of responses. Some you will like, and agree with, and others you won't. That's just the way it is.

That said, IMO you and the other woman were both wrong. You allowed your child to continue to "screech" while you shopped. Maybe you should have gotten out the Cheerios at that point, or given her a small toy to change her focus. If she had not had a nap, maybe shopping after a nap would have been better.

That woman shouldn't have spoken her mind like that, but since she was using a motorized scooter it's obvious she has problems of her own. And maybe dealing with problems you know nothing about.

I hate hearing screeching children in stores, or anywhere for that matter. And yes, I raised two of my own but they never screeched in stores. They had regular afternoon naptime, and if they did start to act up in a store we left and came back at another time.

I have sympathy for a mother who is trying to quiet her child, but the ones who just ignore the behavior and continue on their merry way get no sympathy from me. I would never say anything to the woman, but I would probably be thinking "why doesn't she take that kid home?!"

 

[luvmy3]

There were times when my baby/kid was crying in a store and while I would have loved to take them out and forget the whole shopping excursion, sometimes that simply was not feasible. It was either take the kid home or not have food on the table that night.

ITA with this part of your post. OP, I have been there and I have also been in the situation where I have left a cart of groceries because I needed to get my child out of the store. Sometimes though, that is just not possible. So while the OP needs to realize (according to some posters) that being in a public place doesn't give her children carte blanche, those same posters should realize that a mom just leaving a store, is much easier as a concept and not always an easy action. Sure the OP could have tried to quiet her child but maybe that woman didn't have to be such a ***** about things.

 

[bgirldeb]

Kids will be kids and make noise, but it's up to the parents to keep them at a respectable level or remove them from the situation.

The lady was definitely crazy and way out of line for what she did, though. It reminds me of the man on the news that slapped a child at a Wal-Mart for crying.

It really boils down to courtesy on both sides.

 

[robinb]

Back in the days when our kids acted up in a store, we just left. Many times we just walked away from a full cart. But, they learned that to act up in a store ment we were going home, pronto.

My kids know that you use indoor voices in a store. Even being loud is enough to be removed from a store. My kids know that I'm as serious as a heart attack and it took once removing them from a store to teach that lesson and it's never happened again.

For some kids (mine, for instance ) going home was NOT a punishment. It was a reward. It was exactly what she wanted. I could be as "serious as a heart attack" and we could go home and she was be "happy as a clam". Which was why I found myself in the middle of the Wal*Mart trying to weather the snit. FWIW, that didn't work either. My kid was always wired a little differently. None of the traditional methods of punishments/parenting techniques worked on her when she was little. She was as stubborn as the day is long. I spent an hour and a half (ala Super Nanny) enforcing a time out more than once. Unlike with Super Nanny when the kids magically "get it" she didn't and time outs never worked in our household without a long enforcement time. It wasn't until she began to value things and activities that I finally had a handle on her and my "mom look" that seems to work on most 2-3 years just started working last year .

As for the store snits ... I did return to removing her after my failed attempt to show her that the snits don't work. They worked fine and dandy and we left the store. I was also a SAHM with a workaholic DH who traveled and no family nearby so I had to take her with me when I went shopping.

 

[KimR]

Me too. I have sensitive ears and when children do that high pitched screeching, it causes me real physical pain. I can handle crying and even occasional screaming, but that screeching noise is like a knife stabbing my ear drums. I think most people can handle normal kid stuff, but screeching isn't normal. A parent has to teach their child to use their "indoor voice" and screeching is not an indoor voice. I don't get where this, "We're in a public place so she can be as loud as she wants" notion comes from. I was taught just the opposite from my mum and I taught my child the same thing; when you are in public, you must respect other people and keep your voice at a conversational level or lower. Screaming, yelling and especially screeching are just not acceptable or respectful to the other customers.

I completely agree.