My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[Lil' Grumpy]

wow! psych 101....this wasn't "rude " behavior/s...it was intrusive
behavior/s....& over the line. good thing, it wasn't me there!



...in magic kingdom s/p spectro, a grandmother who wasn't
paying attention, & let her son-in law..nearly ran over my lil'girl [ 6 y/o]

..and this woman...decided to knocked the guide map from daughter's

hands. in the crowd, all i noticed was my daughter crying. so i asked my
wife...why..then who??? she was right beside me. i was tearing into her
when her adult daughter caught up. why are you talking to my mother
liked that..glad you asked! then we were surrounded by security &
the cm..who saw her. * they asked..if we wanted to press charges.
we did not..because ..she actual did not hit my daughter..lucky for
her..or granny would've been going to the slammer!

again , how are we raising our children?....my parents made it cleared,
a parent's duty ....has 2 major roles....an educator & a protector.

oh, you do realized...when she called you a (b)..she projecting "her"
lack of tolerance...back on you. [ from what you wrote, self-
evident...your daughter, was acting like one would expect....shocking? a 2
year...old, cranky?

no matter where i am @...those acting "mental'.....will get my
intervention/s..if they are unloading in my world. regardless, what
others...think is irrelevant.....to the "reality" they are going to get.
here's a hint...we call it .....redirecting & setting limits prn.

..on a side..note, our schools are "neglecting"..our kids' developmental
needs..because government..is confusing them with religion. how do
i know?...we "see" ...too many young people....worst than a third
grade level....and they 're confuse..why...they are having so much
trouble....with adulthood, ..pretty self evident , to me.


..psst, mental health..isn't about being crazy...instead it's about living life
well. & it's not a mystery..and quite beneficial ..to the learner. & been
around..like forever, back in the days..it was called old~"wise"~tales.

oh..who can become.."unstable"? ...anyone can, {you should have seen
some....on dcl, going after the pool loungers... .

 

[disneyworldluvr349]

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I think if it were me, I would have been so inclined to say- "Gosh, lady- you're right- right now she IS being a brat. However, she will outgrow it and by the time she does you'll already be dead, since you look like an old hag that's a day older than dirt. Now run along and do something constructive like picking out your gravesite.
Have a nice day."

Don't let someone's idiocy consume you.

You're doing the best you can with what God's blessed you with.

Jo

I would have scared the out of her and told her that I was calling the police and pressing harrassment charges, and would have Walmart pull the security tapes as evidence.

I almost pee'd! That was so funny!

 

[tiggspring]

I'm sorry this made you have a bad day but as a 'victim' of others cranky kids several times this week, I agree with Twinklemom. I didn't have cranky episodes because I knew my kids limits as well as my own. My kids stayed hom with dad and I shopped for groceries at a store that stayed open late. It gave me time away and him time with them. I also avoided taking them to the mall or anywhere else during nap times and if they were not feeling well. It is rare that an errand can't be put off a couple hours.

To be clear, yes, I worked full time and did my own housework and shopping/laundry. I just knew I could shop much faster and more efficiently without taking the kids.

I was in Walmart late last week and several people had kids who were whining and acting up. What did the adults do about it? Nothing. One was talking on her cell and ignoring her child who was crying and getting louder. The other was speaking with the other woman with her and ignoring her little darlings who were chasing (looked to be 2 and 3 yr olds) around the isles.

Come on people, yes, she was rude but you really should remove your child when they are acting up. Noise polution is really an issue for me too. Unnecessary noise from cranky children really sets some of us off.

I'm glad you could go shopping without your kids. The days I'm able to do that feels like a vacation! Many of us espcially single Moms cannot pay $10 and hour for the luxury of shopping at walmart alone!! Many of us have needed to move away from family (mine are 11 hrs away) or have family that work so cannot sit for us, or dads who are working two or more jobs so mom can be home. Moms gotta cut each other a break sometimes. Any mom who says their kids never acted up in public is either a liar or has no idea what their kids are doing behind their back. I'm sure you were a fine Mom but I'm also sure that since the OP is so upset about this she has to be a concerned mom too. The adults are supposed to show the kids how to control oneself when they are cranky and its not by calling names!

As far as pulling out I have done that many many times. There have also been times when I was getting something for supper or a prescription or a kids unexpected birthday party that I had to do it right then. Not a few hours later when my kids needed to be in bed for the night.

OP hang in there your little one will do something qute tomorrow to make you forget about this rude woman.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I would have scared the out of her and told her that I was calling the police and pressing harrassment charges, and would have Walmart pull the security tapes as evidence.

What? I hope you are joking.


And I have to agree, take the kid home or come back later when the kids in a better mood. Yes, I have kids and yes they have had temper tantrums. I have never left them in the store for everyone to continue to hear the results of their tantrum. I remove them from the situation.

Gosh I was in Wal-Mart once and this lady let her kid scream continuously for atleast 1/2 hour. Someone did say something to her. And the mom said I am trying to teach him he can't have his way. Fine but why do we all have to have headaches because you want to teach your kid a lesson.

 

[LaraK]

It's amazing how many perfect parents and children there out there. Unfortunately, neither live at my house.

OP...sorry that someone was so rude as to insert herself into your business. Sounds like you had a recipe for disaster on your hands and you were watching to ensure that your child didn't cross the line. I've pushed the limits myself because my life is damn busy and I can't always take the kids out of the store and come back later. Sure if they melt into total evilness I will, but just testing their own voices at two wouldn't necessarily qualify, especially at Walmart. BTDT.

What would I have done? Probably stood there in shock that someone could be so rude. What would I have liked to do? Say "my kid's two, what's your excuse?".

Hope your day is better today.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have to say that while the woman was out of line I can understand how she may have felt. Lately I seem to run into so many folks out with crying or whiny children. I understand that it is not always possible for a parent to take a little one out of the store but there are times that my last nerve gets frayed. I would never ever say anything to a parent unless it was supportive but confess that I have thought of a few things.

I wonder if it may have made better sense to ignore the woman rather than engaging her in a conversation that revolved around your child's behavior. The woman was already annoyed and that was because of your child, responding to her comments in a sarcastic manner was probably not helpful.

 

[aprilgail2]

Excuse me while I put my Flameproof jacket. OK now I'm ready

I'm think that you have to accept some blame here. I have 4 kids and I knew that if I took them out and 1). they hadn't napped or 2). I took them on too many errands or 3). It was 3 pm I was in for it. They were going to be holy terrors and it probably wasn't worth it taking them out right then. Why are you surprized that other people aren't thrilled with your kid screetching??? Should the woman had said something? No. But everyone in the store was probably cheering when you left. I'm sorry I don't mean to be harsh but we've all been in your shoes and we as parents are the ones at the most fault. The child should have been home to have their nap. You shouldn't have dragged her out to Walmart or anywhere else or be prepared for people not appreciating it.

That said you know your child isn't a brat she was tired and over stressed. We Moms try to do too much in too little time. And occasionally we pay the price in cranky kids, cranky husbands and cranky Moms. Be extra nice to yourself tonight, take a deep breathe and try again tomarrow. Parenting isn't for the faint of heart.

I agree! But that said why am I NOT surprised that this happened in a Walmart????

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[eliza61]

She then called me a b!



Needless to say, I saved my crying breakdown for the moment I hit the parking lot. I had to call my mom.
Talk about someone making you feel like you suck as a mom. And coming from another mom, is just so much more of a stab in the gut. Moms are supposed to understand. No kids are perfect all the time! She looked the age of a grandma and acted very bitter.

I know when I see kids having meltdowns, I know so well what the mom is going through and I just keep on my way and don't look or pay attention. That is the last thing she needs it criticism from another mom. I even tell my kids not to look or say anything.

So that lovely lady completely ruined my day

.

Man, you guys would never last a day living in NYC.

Sorry OP, it's just you let a perfect stranger ruin your day? over a perfectly normal situation? to the point where you were crying in a parking lot? After 4 kids, no way was some one I could care less about make me feel bad about my parenting.
Like no one has ever seen a crying baby in a Walmart...

I would have flipped "sunshine" the bird and kept right on shopping.
Yes, in the perfect world every child would have a nap right at the appropriate time but this ain't a perfect world....

Sorry, but my mom would have thought I lost my mind if I called her crying over this, actually she would have thought I was pregnant again and emotional.

 

[torinsmom]

While I would never think of telling someone thier child was a brat, I have to admit that I have been in Wal-Mart with a screechy whiny kid and have thought to myself "Why doesn't that mother take that kid home?".

And no, I don't expect a kid to be perfect, but I do expect that a parent will take control of a situation in the best way possible, which, in this case, probably would not have been by continuing shopping.

Same as you, I would never SAY that to someone, but I am guilty of THINKING it. It seems that I have a whiny/crying/screeching/annoying child magnet somewhere in my body, because if there is one of that type in Walmart, they will end up right behind me at the checkout line. Maybe it's because I work with 4-5 year olds every day and 4-7 year olds every Sunday, but my threshhold for tantrums is low when I am not at work. I generally try to avoid these types of kids, but they manage to find me anyway.

Marsha

 

[DVC-Don]

I've been on both ends of the spectrum: the mom with the actively melting child and the person who silently mutters to themselves about the screeching child. With the clarity of 20/20 hindsight I should have removed my child from the store instead of trying to calm her. At the time I was too wrapped up in my own drama to make a coherent decision. I would like to personally apologize to all the people in the Wal*Mart in Tampa FL in December of 2002. I was inconsiderate and yes, my DD was a brat.
...................

Back in the days when our kids acted up in a store, we just left. Many times we just walked away from a full cart. But, they learned that to act up in a store ment we were going home, pronto.

 

[5 'LIL *TWINKERS*]

Thank you to all the supportive posters......Having 5 children, 4 of whom are in many extracurricular activities and a dh who is out of town for a week and when he is home, works 12 hour days, spends 1 1/2hrs.commuting each day and has limited days off....I don't get many opportunities to shop alone. That said, I will shop anytime I have to and want to, during the day. I do the best I can.

My dd2 has had many non nap days and was a perfect angel, been shopping during the afternoon many times with absolutely no issues.

Did I get annoyed or mad at this woman for the hugea-- motorized thing she was on getting in my way or taking up the entire aisle? Or the annoying beeping noises from the dang thing when she put it in reverse. Or her ugly, dorky looking halloween clothes(she should have been wearing a witch costume to match her personality)? No, its called tolerating and dealing with people/everyday life situations.

Maybe HER mother should have taught her not to be arragant and rude to people. I bet she was the biggest brat of all and looks like shes carried it into adulthood.

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.

If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE.

My baby was strapped into a cart not doing anything but making noise. Not running wildly through a store or pulling stuff off shelves. I don't see any reason for someone to say "take care of your child", "she's a brat", "your a b....". Im so glad my dd2 didn't understand what came out of the womans mouth. Or that my other 4 children were with me and heard someone call their mother that.

When it comes down to it, that kind of behavior from an adult versus a 2 yr. old who doesn't know any better, is whats wrong in this day and age. If we had kinder, more understanding, tolerable people out there, the world would be a much better place.

The judgemental people here must never have been in this situation or don't have kids. I really would love to see what you would have done. I will shop anytime I wish to. The situation imo, did not call for me to leave the store, which I will state, has NEVER happened! I need to get what I need to get and have no other time to do it. I run the household and the kids, they don't run me. That said, I would not deliberatly take a melting down, screaming kid
into a public place. But a kid who is being loud????

Its amazing to me how some moms are so judgemental and criticising of other moms. We are all doing the same thing. I would think we would be more supportive and understanding of each other. Not say, "you shouldn't have done this or you should have done that".

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.

I tend to be a very emotional, tenderhearted person. I wish I was more thickskinned(probably comes with being teased as a kid for having red hair.)

Being criticised for the most important job of your life, hurts and sucks.

 

[5 'LIL *TWINKERS*]

Man, you guys would never last a day living in NYC.

Sorry OP, it's just you let a perfect stranger ruin your day? over a perfectly normal situation? to the point where you were crying in a parking lot? After 4 kids, no way was some one I could care less about make me feel bad about my parenting.
Like no one has ever seen a crying baby in a Walmart...

I would have flipped "sunshine" the bird and kept right on shopping.
Yes, in the perfect world every child would have a nap right at the appropriate time but this ain't a perfect world....

Sorry, but my mom would have thought I lost my mind if I called her crying over this, actually she would have thought I was pregnant again and emotional.

Wow, that wasn't judgmental was it? So I have lost my mind now because I got upset? So my reaction is wrong because you wouldn't have reacted like that? My mom is VERY supportive, sorry yours would have thought you lost your mind.

 

[5 'LIL *TWINKERS*]

Thanks to those who gave and was supportive. I really do appreciate it and it helped.

Im not going to comment any further because I find myself feeling like I have to defend to certain posters, my decisions or actions. I feel like I would probably say something I shouldn't. So not worth getting worked up again or making myself look "like I lost my mind".


Critism and judgements of other people are hurtful. Just remember how when you feel critised and judged at some point in your life, how you made someone else feel when you did it to them. What comes around goes around at some point. FYI---THIS STATEMENT WAS A GENERAL STATEMENT AND NOT DIRECTED AT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON.

IM OUTTY.....

 

[MushyMushy]

What? I hope you are joking.


And I have to agree, take the kid home or come back later when the kids in a better mood. Yes, I have kids and yes they have had temper tantrums. I have never left them in the store for everyone to continue to hear the results of their tantrum. I remove them from the situation.

Gosh I was in Wal-Mart once and this lady let her kid scream continuously for atleast 1/2 hour. Someone did say something to her. And the mom said I am trying to teach him he can't have his way. Fine but why do we all have to have headaches because you want to teach your kid a lesson.

I totally agree. We have had to inconvenience ourselves a few times taking an annoying kid out of a store or restaurant. The few times that has happened, they knew we meant business and it wasn't pleasant.

I just don't think it's fair to other customers to "ignore" bad behavior.

Was the woman in the right? Oh no, she sounded like a real witch. But I guarantee, plenty of others were probably silently applauding her.

 

[1PrincessMomma1]

Sorry but you were both wrong. You may see nothing wrong with your child screeching but to others it's nails on a chalk board. My kids know that you use indoor voices in a store. Even being loud is enough to be removed from a store. My kids know that I'm as serious as a heart attack and it took once removing them from a store to teach that lesson and it's never happened again. We walk holding hands using an indoor voice and stay out of other peoples way. We teach by example and you let her screech this time so she now knows she can and she will do it again. That said the woman should have kept her opinion to herself.

To the poster who said harrasement charges LOL way to waste a police officers time. They would not press charges.

 

[hentob]

Public places = noisy.

No. Really, they don't.

Your daughter should not have been called a brat, but I think your attitude of "Oh well, we were in public. So what if she is noisy" is very off.

 

[MushyMushy]

Critism and judgements of other people are hurtful. Just remember how when you feel critised and judged at some point in your life, how you made someone else feel when you did it to them. What comes around goes around at some point. FYI---THIS STATEMENT WAS A GENERAL STATEMENT AND NOT DIRECTED AT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON.

IM OUTTY.....

Just something to think about, but when I have posted problems that happened with my kids in the past, I have been criticized too. Yes, it does hurt and makes you a bit defensive. But a really good thing to do with it is sit back and really think about people are saying. It's easy to brush off one comment as that person is just being disagreeable. But when you have quite a few others joining in and saying similar things, I think it's smart to give at least some credence to what they're saying. It's really not so terrible to reevaluate your position on a matter and realize, "Hey, maybe my kid WAS being out of control and I should do something different next time."

 

[phorsenuf]

I was shopping today in Walmart and my dd2 hadn't had a nap so she was not in the cheeriest mood. She wasn't crying or anything, just screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid". I said "excuse me". She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it. I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?" She said "control her" I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then". She then preceded to call her a brat I told her not to call my kid a brat and I asked her if she had kids? She said yes and they didn't act like that I then said that I could think of some names to call her but I won't. She said the same thing back to me. Then I sarcasticly said "have a nice day" as I gave her a little wave. She then called me a b!

I have NEVER had anyone ever say anything like this to me through raising 5 kids. The complete opposite actually. I usually get many compliments on them and their behavior. Never that I can remember anything negative letalone calling my baby a brat.

Needless to say, I saved my crying breakdown for the moment I hit the parking lot. I had to call my mom.
Talk about someone making you feel like you suck as a mom. And coming from another mom, is just so much more of a stab in the gut. Moms are supposed to understand. No kids are perfect all the time! She looked the age of a grandma and acted very bitter.

I know when I see kids having meltdowns, I know so well what the mom is going through and I just keep on my way and don't look or pay attention. That is the last thing she needs it criticism from another mom. I even tell my kids not to look or say anything.

So that lovely lady completely ruined my day

The first thing I thought when I picked my mouth up off the floor in shock at what she said, I thought about the recent threads here about walmart and that guy slapping that child and child behavior in walmart. I got a little laugh about that We were just talking about this happening and what would you do.

Rules people....rules.

 

[luvwinnie]

Wow. What a horrid person. I admit, I have no patience for screaming and whining (I don't have kids)...but I WALK AWAY because as you said it's a public place and kids will be kids. I have no right to make a mom feel bad for a child who is just doing what kids do. Are you supposed to leave every time your child makes a peep? I'm sorry this happened to you.