My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[Took]

Gotta sympathize with the poster w/ the 4 m.o. on the airplane, lol! What I appreciate is that he was willing to apologize to others for the annoyance even though there was nothing he could do about it. When we inconvenience others, even unintentionally, it's polite to apologize. That's what I was taught anyway.

Certainly, the old woman had no right to call the OP's child a name. Very rude behavior. I would have said that to her, I think, but also apologized for DD's annoying behavior and, if it was unaviodable, I'd briefly explain ("I'm sorry she's being so loud but I can't shop later after her nap"). Then, I'd move on, regardless of the critic's response. If she wants to be rude, that's her problem. I've done what I could.

And, yes, I do have a child (I confess, she was not a screecher as a 2 y.o.--not that she's perfect, only that she didn't have that particular issue). It's no use being particularly thin skinned. Babies and toddlers are noisy and it bothers people. Noise beyond the usual is annoying. Polite people at least seem apologetic about bothering others.

Perhaps what bothers some "quiet" folks the most is that noisy ones (or ones with noisy children) seem blatantly unapologetic about it. "I've got a right to be this noisy, so tough it" is not a pleasant attitude.

My TCW.

Took

 

[Metsfan520]

Another vote for "the woman was wrong to say anything, but YOU were wrong to allow your child to continue screeching." Being in a public place is no excuse for that.

Another vote for this opinion. She was wrong but so were you.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

If your child is tired and screeching then you as a parent need to take them home and shop at another time. Sorry but even though the lady was rude she was probably saying out loud what everyone else thought.

 

[Scurvy]

Did I get annoyed or mad at this woman for the hugea-- motorized thing she was on getting in my way or taking up the entire aisle? Or the annoying beeping noises from the dang thing when she put it in reverse. Or her ugly, dorky looking halloween clothes(she should have been wearing a witch costume to match her personality)? No, its called tolerating and dealing with people/everyday life situations..

For someone who is all upset that some random person insulted your precious child, that's pretty rude and judgemental. You don't see a difference between her having to tolerate the screeching and you "tolerating" her disability and clothing?

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.
If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE..

Actually, in my opinion the bolded part makes it much worse. I think most of us have probably had times when our children starting crying or having a tantrum in a public place, and we understand that it can be difficult to calm a child down quickly from something like that. Screeching for fun is different - there's no excuse for allowing that sort of thing to go on in a public place. You should have removed the child if you couldn't stop the behavior.

When it comes down to it, that kind of behavior from an adult versus a 2 yr. old who doesn't know any better, is whats wrong in this day and age. If we had kinder, more understanding, tolerable people out there, the world would be a much better place..

If the 2 year old doesn't know any better than to screech for no reason in a public place, then it's your job as a parent to teach the child that it isn't appropriate behavior.

The judgemental people here must never have been in this situation or don't have kids. I really would love to see what you would have done. I will shop anytime I wish to. The situation imo, did not call for me to leave the store, which I will state, has NEVER happened! I need to get what I need to get and have no other time to do it. I run the household and the kids, they don't run me. That said, I would not deliberatly take a melting down, screaming kid
into a public place. But a kid who is being loud????.

I would have removed my child from the store if I could not get the child to be quiet and stop screeching for no reason. Seems like the obvious solution to me.

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.
.

The bolded could explain part of the problem here. If you don't realize that screeching is inappropriate for somewhere like Walmart, then it's understandable that your child wouldn't understand it. Public places might not be quiet, but that doesn't mean that it's a free-for-all when it comes to noise. Would it be okay for an adult to wander through the store screeching? Of course not! It's not okay for a child, either. The other woman shouldn't have called you names, but you were more in the wrong for allowing your child to screech loudly for no reason in a public place.

I have sympathy for a mother who is trying to quiet her child, but the ones who just ignore the behavior and continue on their merry way get no sympathy from me. I would never say anything to the woman, but I would probably be thinking "why doesn't she take that kid home?!"

I agree completely! There's a huge difference between a parent who is trying to calm their child who is crying or having a meltdown in public and one who is defending her child's right to screech for fun in a public place. I feel bad for parents who are overwhelmed and trying their best to control inappropriate behavior; I feel no sympathy at all for the OP.

 

[eliza61]

Wow, that wasn't judgmental was it? So I have lost my mind now because I got upset? So my reaction is wrong because you wouldn't have reacted like that? My mom is VERY supportive, sorry yours would have thought you lost your mind.

No, I said MY mom would have thought I lost my mind. Why are you so upset now? No where in my post did I say your reaction was wrong. I told you what I would have done in the situation. No need to feel sorry for my mother, she was able to raise 4 successful children AND make it to Sears to go shopping.

But seeing your response here, I can understand how you ended up crying in a parking lot.

You seem to be, from your response, to be in a snit because every one is not agreeing with you.

 

[Lanie]

I was shopping today in Walmart and my dd2 hadn't had a nap so she was not in the cheeriest mood. She wasn't crying or anything, just screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid". I said "excuse me". She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it. I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?" She said "control her" I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then". She then preceded to call her a brat I told her not to call my kid a brat and I asked her if she had kids? She said yes and they didn't act like that I then said that I could think of some names to call her but I won't. She said the same thing back to me. Then I sarcasticly said "have a nice day" as I gave her a little wave. She then called me a b!

I have NEVER had anyone ever say anything like this to me through raising 5 kids. The complete opposite actually. I usually get many compliments on them and their behavior. Never that I can remember anything negative letalone calling my baby a brat.

Needless to say, I saved my crying breakdown for the moment I hit the parking lot. I had to call my mom.
Talk about someone making you feel like you suck as a mom. And coming from another mom, is just so much more of a stab in the gut. Moms are supposed to understand. No kids are perfect all the time! She looked the age of a grandma and acted very bitter.

I know when I see kids having meltdowns, I know so well what the mom is going through and I just keep on my way and don't look or pay attention. That is the last thing she needs it criticism from another mom. I even tell my kids not to look or say anything.

So that lovely lady completely ruined my day

The first thing I thought when I picked my mouth up off the floor in shock at what she said, I thought about the recent threads here about walmart and that guy slapping that child and child behavior in walmart. I got a little laugh about that We were just talking about this happening and what would you do.

Your kid didn't get her nap, so she was cranky... What's that "lady's" excuse? Maybe you should have asked her if she didn't get her nap today either... LOL

 

[claudia]

I was shopping today in Walmart and my dd2 hadn't had a nap so she was not in the cheeriest mood. She wasn't crying or anything, just screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid". I said "excuse me". She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it. I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?" She said "control her" I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then". She then preceded to call her a brat I told her not to call my kid a brat and I asked her if she had kids? She said yes and they didn't act like that I then said that I could think of some names to call her but I won't. She said the same thing back to me. Then I sarcasticly said "have a nice day" as I gave her a little wave. She then called me a b!

I have NEVER had anyone ever say anything like this to me through raising 5 kids. The complete opposite actually. I usually get many compliments on them and their behavior. Never that I can remember anything negative letalone calling my baby a brat.

Needless to say, I saved my crying breakdown for the moment I hit the parking lot. I had to call my mom.
Talk about someone making you feel like you suck as a mom. And coming from another mom, is just so much more of a stab in the gut. Moms are supposed to understand. No kids are perfect all the time! She looked the age of a grandma and acted very bitter.

I know when I see kids having meltdowns, I know so well what the mom is going through and I just keep on my way and don't look or pay attention. That is the last thing she needs it criticism from another mom. I even tell my kids not to look or say anything.

So that lovely lady completely ruined my day

The first thing I thought when I picked my mouth up off the floor in shock at what she said, I thought about the recent threads here about walmart and that guy slapping that child and child behavior in walmart. I got a little laugh about that We were just talking about this happening and what would you do.

You admit that your DD was "screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiney"....."not fun to listen to". Then you're surprised when an old grandma gets annoyed with behavior that you have already acknowldged as annoying and are willing to go shot for shot in a conversation with grandma. Then to top it off you have allowed this woman to "ruin your day" and have a breakdown over it.
My advice would be to follow your own advice.....don't look or say anything....walk away from the grandma. You both behaved badly. Also realize that no one can ruin your day, only you can allow that.....(we have all had our childhood traumas that make us sensitive.....as adults we now have control over that).

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Mom of 4 here--the lady was completely rude to say something. OTOH, you were completely rude to allow your DD to screech throughout the store. This would never be tolerated by any of my kids. I understand missed naps and husbands who work long hours--really, I do--but that doesn't excuse YOUR acceptance of rude behavior from your child!

What would I have done? Agreed with the witchy woman in the ECV! "Yeah, you're right, she's being a brat today--maybe I can turn her in to Customer Service for a quieter model?" At a minimum, you should have grabbed your essentials and gotten out of there quickly.

P.S. ECVs beep when they back up so people know they're there and going backwards. So sorry this irritates you, but it's a built-in safety feature. I think your rude, insensitive coments about this woman's vehicle speak volumes about you.

 

[donald&daisy]

You seem to be, from your response, to be in a snit because every one is not agreeing with you.

Don't we all get like this occasionally?

 

[DizBelle]

Thank you to all the supportive posters......Having 5 children, 4 of whom are in many extracurricular activities and a dh who is out of town for a week and when he is home, works 12 hour days, spends 1 1/2hrs.commuting each day and has limited days off....I don't get many opportunities to shop alone. That said, I will shop anytime I have to and want to, during the day. I do the best I can.

My dd2 has had many non nap days and was a perfect angel, been shopping during the afternoon many times with absolutely no issues.

Did I get annoyed or mad at this woman for the hugea-- motorized thing she was on getting in my way or taking up the entire aisle? Or the annoying beeping noises from the dang thing when she put it in reverse. Or her ugly, dorky looking halloween clothes(she should have been wearing a witch costume to match her personality)? No, its called tolerating and dealing with people/everyday life situations.

Maybe HER mother should have taught her not to be arragant and rude to people. I bet she was the biggest brat of all and looks like shes carried it into adulthood.

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.

If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE.

My baby was strapped into a cart not doing anything but making noise. Not running wildly through a store or pulling stuff off shelves. I don't see any reason for someone to say "take care of your child", "she's a brat", "your a b....". Im so glad my dd2 didn't understand what came out of the womans mouth. Or that my other 4 children were with me and heard someone call their mother that.

When it comes down to it, that kind of behavior from an adult versus a 2 yr. old who doesn't know any better, is whats wrong in this day and age. If we had kinder, more understanding, tolerable people out there, the world would be a much better place.

The judgemental people here must never have been in this situation or don't have kids. I really would love to see what you would have done. I will shop anytime I wish to. The situation imo, did not call for me to leave the store, which I will state, has NEVER happened! I need to get what I need to get and have no other time to do it. I run the household and the kids, they don't run me. That said, I would not deliberatly take a melting down, screaming kid
into a public place. But a kid who is being loud????

Its amazing to me how some moms are so judgemental and criticising of other moms. We are all doing the same thing. I would think we would be more supportive and understanding of each other. Not say, "you shouldn't have done this or you should have done that".

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.

I tend to be a very emotional, tenderhearted person. I wish I was more thickskinned(probably comes with being teased as a kid for having red hair.)

Being criticised for the most important job of your life, hurts and sucks.

I don't know if you said so, but were you making any attempts to engage your child in any way to quiet the screeching? Or were you just letting them sit there and screech to their heart's content?

 

[ICF]

Another vote for "the woman was wrong to say anything, but YOU were wrong to allow your child to continue screeching." Being in a public place is no excuse for that.

agreed

 

[TanyaLovesPooh]

I was shopping today in Walmart and my dd2 hadn't had a nap so she was not in the cheeriest mood. She wasn't crying or anything, just screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid". I said "excuse me". She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it. I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?" She said "control her" I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then". She then preceded to call her a brat I told her not to call my kid a brat and I asked her if she had kids? She said yes and they didn't act like that I then said that I could think of some names to call her but I won't. She said the same thing back to me. Then I sarcasticly said "have a nice day" as I gave her a little wave. She then called me a b!

I have NEVER had anyone ever say anything like this to me through raising 5 kids. The complete opposite actually. I usually get many compliments on them and their behavior. Never that I can remember anything negative letalone calling my baby a brat.

Needless to say, I saved my crying breakdown for the moment I hit the parking lot. I had to call my mom.
Talk about someone making you feel like you suck as a mom. And coming from another mom, is just so much more of a stab in the gut. Moms are supposed to understand. No kids are perfect all the time! She looked the age of a grandma and acted very bitter.

I know when I see kids having meltdowns, I know so well what the mom is going through and I just keep on my way and don't look or pay attention. That is the last thing she needs it criticism from another mom. I even tell my kids not to look or say anything.

So that lovely lady completely ruined my day

The first thing I thought when I picked my mouth up off the floor in shock at what she said, I thought about the recent threads here about walmart and that guy slapping that child and child behavior in walmart. I got a little laugh about that We were just talking about this happening and what would you do.

What an awful experience, I am sorry she ruined your day.

I think Wal-Mart brings out the worst in people.

 

[brittsmum1998]

Sorry about your shopping excursion but I'm sure there were any moms who were getting "a break" from their children by going to Walmart. If I was in your position I would've taken dd home no doubt about it. You chose to have 5 children, you can't blame that on everyone else wanting peace and quiet in a public place.

While I didn't read all the responses, did you try to quiet your child down at all?

I say next time give your beautiful child a nap, and wait until they are in a good mood to do shopping.

 

[AKL_Megs]

This makes me think of my MIL...

We were shopping at Target once, and there was a mother with her son, he was about 3. He was doing the same thing, wiggling in the cart, screeching, whining. The mother kept telling him, "Stop it," and generally playing the whole, If-I-Ignore-Him game.

It really was exceptionally annoying, but I can personally ignore it myself.

Oh, not my MIL.

She went up to the lady and said, very kindly but sarcastically, "Can you please control your child, he is hurting my ears!" The lady said the same thing, "What do you want me to do? Smack him? Do YOU have kids?"

My MIL said, "Yes, I do have kids, and when they would act like this, I would march them to the car. I wouldn't let their noise disturb all of the shoppers in the store."

Some people can't handle kids, some can.

 

[Silent1CB]

You probably should have ignored her. The problem escalated the second you responded to her with "excuse me?". Sorry.

 

[phamton]

screeching to hear her voice and getting a little whiny. Granted, not fun to listen to.
This lady says, "can you control your kid". I said "excuse me". She said it again and that she didn't want to listen to it. I said "what do you want me to do, beat her?" She said "control her" I said "maybe you shouldn't be in a public place like walmart then". She then preceded to call her a brat

You mentioned that it wasn't fun to listen to even as a mother. It probably was less fun to hear as a stranger. I noticed that she didn't just walk up and call your child a brat but first asked you to "control" her. The brat comment came after you were both arguing. She definitely was wrong to call your child a brat but I don't think it was wrong for her to ask you to step in and quiet her down. I'm sorry that the whole encounter turned bad. I have 5 kids who were not always well-behaved in public and did get my share of stranger stares. Luckily no one ever confronted me. If I had been confronted I would have also been upset, but I hopefully would have been apologetic.

 

[NewCrew42]

Once we were on a plane to WDW, and my 4 month old decided he needed to scream and cry at the top of his lungs. What were our options? Jump out of the plane? I was trying my very best to soothe him and NOTHING worked.

Finally after people made some rude comments, my dh stood up and said ( I cant recall exactly, but it was something like this) "Look, we are very sorry. We want him to shut up too, but he won't. He's 4 months old. There's not alot we can do. I apologize for disrupting the flight, but if any of you can make him quit screaming please feel free to do so."


One person actually said "Have you tried giving him a bottle or pacifier?" lol. No lady, we didn't think of that. Thanks.

This happened to us once with our oldest who is now 14 years old. I think he was around 11 months old and there was NOTHING we could do to calm him.

I started crying and then laughing hysterically. I had completely lost it.

My DH stood up, apoligized and offered to buy everyone on the flight a drink. This sort of broke the tension, and a lot of people chuckled, but there were actually 4 people who took us up on it. And we were glad to be able to at least sooth someone.

 

[joyjoy]

I cannot stand screeching for no reason. Crying babies, tired toddlers, even a full blown meltdown I have sympathy for, but screeching "just to hear herself" is just annoying and uncalled for.

I was at the grocery store recently and a woman standing within 12 inches of me (we were both reaching into the refrigerated items) screamed at her 5 year old who was running wild, "BRANDON!!! COME HERE NOW!!!" and I go "Yikes." and put my hand over my ear. She looks shocked at me and says "Bi+**." and walks away. Noisy people irritate me, what can I say.

Yes, I have children.

 

[C.Ann]

Was this in the check-out line? If not - and I was the woman who was being annoyed by the loud noise, I would have moved away from it..

Kids screech, scream, cry, and throw temper tantrums in WDW all the time.. Do the parents get on a plane and take them home?

Guess I'm just looking at this from a different angle.. When something is annoying me, then it's my responsibility to remove myself from the annoying situation.. Of course there are times when you can't do this - like when you're stuck in an airplane - but in most cases, it's doable..

Most Walmarts are pretty large and unless they were grid locked in the check-out line, the woman could have zipped away to a quieter area for a minute or two or at the very least - if she just "had" to voice her opinion - she could have chosen her words a little more carefully.. It wasn't a "polite" request - it was passive-aggressive and meant to be nasty..

Just my opinion, of course..

 

[FireDancer]

This is one of those topics that often gets dissected into black and white. Either everyone should take their whinny kids home or everyone should accept that kids are loud and live with it.

I think reality is more in the middle. There is a difference between a kid pouting and being a little cranky and yelling or screeching. I am well aware that kids sometimes go off without reason and can cut a parent slack. I'm quite sure on days my mom forgot my halo I was even guilty of this as a toddler. If that going off is not ear piercing screeching, throwing stuff all over the isles, or crying so loudly that you are looking for the limb that had to have been ripped off to cause such an outburst I wouldn't think anything about it. I'm usually just glad I am not the one dealing with it. If the outburst does fall into one of those categories I would think the parent should take the kid home and come back some other time to shop.

As with most arguments of this sort there is probably a middle ground that makes sense for everyone.