Moms of Freshmen Girls.....

[dcast]

I spoke with my daughter last night and told her I saw the text message. She said she was really grossed out by the text and didn't even respond (which I already knew from the history). She said she couldn't believe he would say those things to her but that he had been hanging out with one of his friends that night so maybe his friend texted her to be funny. She started to get really upset and said that she didn't even want to think about things like that and that if it was him then she didn't want to be with him anymore. Today she's going to ask him if he sent the text. I told her that this is her time to show she is strong and will not allow a boy to treat her badly. She said he'll eaither respect that she's not ready or want to break up with her. As we all know, she'd be upset at first but would get over it and know it was the right thing. Now I'm not saying I always believe everything she says but she really truly seemed upset so I think she gets it. I went through the "bad reputation" thing again and basically told her that he would tell people and she would have to live with that reputation for the next 3 1/2 years of high school. She truly seemed to understand (the same thing happened to her best friend's sister) and hopefully we'll continue to be able to talk about these things going forward. Phew! Now I can relax and enjoy our Thanksgiving together

 

[Cindyluwho]

Great Job dcast!! It's all about the communication! It sounds like you and your DD have a great relationship, I'm glad she feels she can confide in you when times are tough.

 

[westjones]

Wow! That was a great conversation with your DD. Sounds like you handled this well. Good Job!

DJ

 

[westjones]

This has been such a complicated year. My girls seem so different than last year. Our recent issue is allowing them to ride in cars with other teens (older friends with license). I had been resisting this, but this weekend we finally gave permission.

My DDs go to a small school (200 kids in the high school) and they have made friends with older kids in the school, and they want to hang out with them. It isn't that these kids are bad, they are just older. I have also resisted this, but have decided to let them do this now.

I really miss those days of Disney Princess Barbie dolls, ballet and Girl Scouts!

My girls are good kids, I just want to protect them and keep them safe and am having a really hard time with all of this 'growing up'

How is everyone else doing? We are over half way through Freshman year now. Are things going well?

DJ

 

[Buckalew11]

Things are going better here also. We've had this same issue as DD's new best friend goes to a smaller school in our city and DD is homeschooled. This nbf is a JR in HS and is a really, really nice girl. She drives so we have had to deal with this before we thought we would also. I allow her to ride with her because I know what type of driver she is and what a good kid she is. I also let her ride with my nephew who is safe and thinks things through. I would not, however, allow her in the car with just anyone so that'll cause issues in the future. Luckily, for us, nbf is good news in all departments.

We're taking her with us to WDW on Spring break this year. DD has always wanted to take a friend but when we'd ask, there was never a name she could come up with take. Fo years she spent on that roller coaster of "today I am your friend, tomorrow I am not." It is such a relief to her to wake up everyday knowing this girl is her friend.

Hope everyone's freshman year is going well.

 

[Cindyluwho]

The riding in cars thing is huge isn't it??!! Our rule so far is that DD can ride with a teenage driver if she is the only passenger and if we are comfortable with that person and know what kind of driver they are. We did get a call from the cheerleader party from the coach asking if DD could ride to the mall with one of the older cheerleaders. The car was full to the max and according to the coach, the girls "needed to blow off some steam because they had eaten too much sugar and were out of control". NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!

Other than that, DD is still fretting about not having her first kiss. Getting teased by classmates and the other cheerleaders. All in good fun, but I know it bugs her. She and her DBF have been "dating" for 4 1/2 months and he's very shy. No complaint from me!! Funny, "dating" to our Freshman is hanging out together at school, walking to the bus stop together, texting and calling for hours on end - but NOT really going out?? I just find that funny but I'm really glad that's what "dating" is to my DD's group!

We still communicate really well, she tells me all the gossip at school and even though I have to sometimes bite my tongue, I just take it all in and say "Wow!! what do you think about that?"....

 

[westjones]

Yeah, I find the term "going out" funny since they don't really go out. My twins don't have official boyfriends, but they each of a boy that they spend time with and they like, but it isn't "official".

I also hear a lot of the gossip and it has been difficult to bite my tongue at times, but it does lead to good discussions/talks for us. I am so dissappointed to hear of some of the Freshmen girls having sex already!

My twins haven't had their first kiss yet either, but I am guessing that this will be the year. We will see.

Spring Break for us is 5 weeks away and we are going on the Disney Cruise. It will be their first time in the Teen area, and that is another stress issue for me. It is only for 4 days, so hopefully all goes well. After that, I am considering letting the two of them go around Magic Kingdom together without us (their first time going off alone---they will be 15 1/2).

So more issues ahead. A parent's job is never done!

DJ