Last evening our PTO was honored with a visit by Maureen Kanka, mother of Megan Kanka, who was brutally raped and killed in a home occupied by 3 sex offenders across the street from where they lived. Megan's Law, which gives neighbors the right to know if a sex offender is living near them, is named after her daughter.
Maureen Kanka's speech was so earth shaking in so many ways. She lived in a development and thought she knew her neighbors. Her children were in and out of the homes on her block. Megan had gone across the street to visit her friend. She was enticed inside the next door neighbor's home with the promise of playing with a new puppy. She was dead within 15 minutes of entering that home.
Mrs. Kanka's message is simple yet hard. Talk to your children. Make them aware of their surroundings. Teach them not to enter ANYONE'S home without your knowledge. Not phoning from the neighbor's home....coming back home and telling your parents whose home you are about to enter. Once you are inside, it may be too late.
Maureen Kanka talked about mixed messages. Patting your child on his/her butt lets the child know it is okay. But is it okay to let a stranger do it? DO NOT touch your child in any way that you would NOT want a stranger to touch them. Be affectionate....kiss...hug....but do not touch anywhere that could confuse a child if someone else does it.
TEACH your child and reinforce that teaching. In their neighborhood, Halloween children were invited inside homes to pick out treats. DO NOT ALLOW IT even if you "know" people. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Our neighborhood has never done anything like that...but obviously other neighborhoods do and have done it.
REINFORCE, REINFORCE, REINFORCE. Children understand the rules....and know them...and promptly forget them once they see a neighbor they think they "know". Charlie goes out every day and works in the yard as the kids play. He gives them candy. He is nice to them. Ninety nine percent of the times, Charlie is just fine. Make them understand that to enter someone's home gives them control. And teach your children NOT to accept candy from anyone. It's a form of bonding for children. (And this is a mixed signal also....how many of us hand out candy to children we know in the neighborhood?)
Use your sex registry so you know who lives near you. It's important. It will save lives.
Mrs. Kanka's latest push is to fingerprint and register volunteer coaches and referees in towns. Many towns have nothing in place. Others check via social security number. Fingerprinting via the FBI network is the only way to know for sure about a person's background.
As I read back on this, so much of it sounds harsh. Maureen was in no way a vigilante. She was calm, collected and occasionally teary. But her message was strong and unwavering.
PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN.
Thanks for listening.
Maureen Kanka's speech was so earth shaking in so many ways. She lived in a development and thought she knew her neighbors. Her children were in and out of the homes on her block. Megan had gone across the street to visit her friend. She was enticed inside the next door neighbor's home with the promise of playing with a new puppy. She was dead within 15 minutes of entering that home.
Mrs. Kanka's message is simple yet hard. Talk to your children. Make them aware of their surroundings. Teach them not to enter ANYONE'S home without your knowledge. Not phoning from the neighbor's home....coming back home and telling your parents whose home you are about to enter. Once you are inside, it may be too late.
Maureen Kanka talked about mixed messages. Patting your child on his/her butt lets the child know it is okay. But is it okay to let a stranger do it? DO NOT touch your child in any way that you would NOT want a stranger to touch them. Be affectionate....kiss...hug....but do not touch anywhere that could confuse a child if someone else does it.
TEACH your child and reinforce that teaching. In their neighborhood, Halloween children were invited inside homes to pick out treats. DO NOT ALLOW IT even if you "know" people. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Our neighborhood has never done anything like that...but obviously other neighborhoods do and have done it.
REINFORCE, REINFORCE, REINFORCE. Children understand the rules....and know them...and promptly forget them once they see a neighbor they think they "know". Charlie goes out every day and works in the yard as the kids play. He gives them candy. He is nice to them. Ninety nine percent of the times, Charlie is just fine. Make them understand that to enter someone's home gives them control. And teach your children NOT to accept candy from anyone. It's a form of bonding for children. (And this is a mixed signal also....how many of us hand out candy to children we know in the neighborhood?)
Use your sex registry so you know who lives near you. It's important. It will save lives.
Mrs. Kanka's latest push is to fingerprint and register volunteer coaches and referees in towns. Many towns have nothing in place. Others check via social security number. Fingerprinting via the FBI network is the only way to know for sure about a person's background.
As I read back on this, so much of it sounds harsh. Maureen was in no way a vigilante. She was calm, collected and occasionally teary. But her message was strong and unwavering.
PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN.
Thanks for listening.
