Meeting the girlfriends daughter for the first time and need advice.

[gotomu212]

I would echo the casual don't go overboard approach. Without knowing how she'll feel about meeting you I wouldnt push too much. I don't know if context helps but I would look at it more as hanging out with a new friend instead of trying to impress a new person.

I also would veto the flowers for the first meeting. It seems like drawing more attention to this being a very special meeting instead of a more casual getting to know you. I also wouldn't tell an 11 year old that the flowers were because a gentleman never meets a pretty girl without flowers (not exactly creepy but also not something to say when first meeting someone in my opinion).

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think the flower(s) are a great idea - either a single rose or a mixed bouquet!

For the event, I'd say present a couple of choices to mom ahead of time, and ask which her DD would like best. I like several of the ones above:

Fancy dinner out
Movie with ice cream after
Trampoline park

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I like Dave & Busters or a fun, casual pizza place. Perhaps a local frozen yogurt shop like TCBY?
I don't think I would do anything "too engaging." I think that is too soon to start doing teambuilding activities or bonding of that nature.
I am on the fence about the single flower. It just seems a bit off to me.

 

[damskipi13]

I'm not sure Dave and Busters or any other arcade is a good plan - it's too easy to go your separate ways and if I was an 11 year old girl there with her mom and mom's boyfriend I would ABSOLUTELY go my own way. I think an activity like mini golf, bowling, or watching a ball game sounds good. You stay together but can focus on something else.

For the flowers I think it is going to depend on the girl. Some would love it, some would be embarrassed, some would find it cheesy. I'm not saying don't do it though, but I wouldn't take her a red rose if you take the mom roses. I would suggest a more mixed set, carnations or tulips, something that says cheerful more than love.

+1 great answer. Gerbera daisies are very cheerful if you decide to give flowers.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Also bowling could be a good idea.

 

[NewGuyHere]

Wow, thanks for all the replies. I was thinking a trampoline type park but wasn't sure if that was something she would enjoy alone. I would think if she was the kid there without any other friends it would be odd for her. I like the idea of a movie and ice cream. There isn't much pressure to talk and after the movie we will have something to talk about over ice cream. The only thing I know is she likes hockey and gymnastics. I will toss out a couple suggestions and see what her mother prefers. As for the flower(s), maybe I will just ask her that as well. It won't be as sweet, but I could really be saving my behind. I agree if I was a kid I would think it was cheesy, but I'm not a girl.

 

[lifesavacation]

Also bowling could be a good idea.

Great idea!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Wahlburgers

 

[usnuzuloose]

Ask her what her daughter likes to eat, and take her there. And take it from there and make a few suggestions and see if says if there is something she would like to do.

 

[Bluestars]

I think it's a good idea to get some input from her mother.

I like the idea of a movie and maybe pizza and ice cream, or whatever food she likes. I would ask her mom about her favorite things to do and eat. Also if you end up getting her a flower or flowers, I would get them in her favorite color.

 

[luvlife]

How about instead of a flower a something small from Edible Arrangements. They have a lot of great this to choose from and kids usually love them. It's pretty but different and fun!

 

[bellebud]

first, you're so sweet to be asking about this. I'm on the fence about the flower... I don't think a rose though in any case. Unless the daughter has specifically said she'd like a rose. I love the movie idea, so you all have something to talk about and laugh about after. Great ice breaker.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

How about instead of a flower a something small from Edible Arrangements. They have a lot of great this to choose from and kids usually love them. It's pretty but different and fun!

Edible Arrangements is soooo awesome, but incredibly expensive. The cheapest thing I see on their website is $29.

 

[luvlife]

I know they are pricey but if you have a store nearby they usually have specials and I saw a few coupons available online.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

I agree with others you are sweet to think of and ask about this. Keep it causal, genuine and I would also ask the mother for her input. I have never been into an Edible Arrangements but the idea is very creative and a bit more fun and something just for the daughter than flowers. As for dinner, definitely find out what type of food she enjoys and go from there. I wish all of you a wonderful time

 

[Julie's Haircut]

When I met my StepDDs, ages 10 and 13, for the first time, we went to Six Flags, since they were big fans of it, as were their mother and I. Afterwards, I think we went out for ice cream at Friendlys.

 

[mom2rtk]

Another vote for bowling.

 

[pocomom]

I met my step-daughter at dinner when she was 12. Huge mistake. She asked me why I smile so much and spent most of the time staring at me and giving me one word answers to anything I asked. The next time her dad had a work emergency and I picked her up and brought her to the mall. MUCH BETTER. Definitely pick something to do that's active. 11 is an interesting age, one day she can seem very mature or have lots of "teenitude", another day she can still be a little girl.
Ask her mom what she likes, maybe she isn't the athletic type and something more along the lines of a paint the pottery type place or something like that would be good. In general I would keep it short, one activity then maybe ice cream. Be casual and not too eager, she will probably be a lot harder to win over than mom and if it is too much, too quick you won't recover for awhile. If you do decide to do a small gift maybe find something personal (author she likes?, hobby?) , But again, I would ask the mom- she'll know what her daughter would like best and what she will be comfortable with.

 

[clori]

I have a dd11. She would like most ideas but the movies or bowling Since she likes hockey i would suggest public ice skating. Paint your own pottery is good if its real pottery such as painting a mug that gets fired and you return in a few days to pick up but skip plaster funtime. You could all paint and talk or just paint then have food.

 

[tarheel618]

bowling would be my vote- also I would ask mom what the DD favorite restaurants are and go to one of them.