Meeting the girlfriends daughter for the first time and need advice.

[Pacolovestacos]

It may be worthwhile to have a discussion with your girlfriend about what your role is. It is VERY easy to inadvertently step on toes in this situation. Just take it slow and feel everybody out.

It's a difficult balance to strike. You don't want to come across as overbearing or like you're a third parent but you also don't want to be a pushover. Good luck. Dating/relationships with kids involved is never easy.

Disagree somewhat. Overbearing is definitely not a good idea but being a pushover is fine on the first meet. OP will likely be seen as an intruder by the daughter and the only feelings that count here are the daughters. Tread very carefully here. I speak from experience.

 

[NewGuyHere]

I know this is an old thread but I just re-read all your comments and thought I would drop a quick update. Looking back, most of you were right, I was way overthinking this entire thing. But without your suggestions I don't think that first date would have gone as well as it did. My SO's DD turns 14 on Wednesday and has her 8th grade formal tonight (she even asked me to drive her). So we are all on the right track. There are times when I don't agree with something and it's difficult to keep my opinions to myself, but fortunately my SO and I are usually on the same page and it gets worked out. My hardest obstacle now is supporting my SO and calling her DD out when she should be. I feel like I am overstepping, but it is getting easier. Regardless we all get along great and respect the rolls that we all play in each others life.

Thank you again for the guidance and helping this work out so well!

 

[sk!mom]

I love it when people come back to update. If you are generally getting along well with a 14 year old- you're golden. Best wishes!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Great update, thanks for sharing!

 

[Heidict]

Yeah, an update!!! Glad to hear things are going good with your girlfriend and her daughter.

 

[Micca]

I'm impressed that you returned with an update. Continued good luck!

 

[bellebud]

thank you for the update! glad everything's going well.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Yay! Thanks for the update!

 

[ols386]

I know this is an old thread but I just re-read all your comments and thought I would drop a quick update. Looking back, most of you were right, I was way overthinking this entire thing. But without your suggestions I don't think that first date would have gone as well as it did. My SO's DD turns 14 on Wednesday and has her 8th grade formal tonight (she even asked me to drive her). So we are all on the right track. There are times when I don't agree with something and it's difficult to keep my opinions to myself, but fortunately my SO and I are usually on the same page and it gets worked out. My hardest obstacle now is supporting my SO and calling her DD out when she should be. I feel like I am overstepping, but it is getting easier. Regardless we all get along great and respect the rolls that we all play in each others life.

Thank you again for the guidance and helping this work out so well!

That’s really nice of you to come back and let us know how things worked out.

 

[NewGuyHere]

Sorry to resurrect a zombie thread, but I figured if there was ever a good time for an update it would be now. It’s been over 6 years since I met the crazy 11 year old that scared the heck out of me. Avalon turned 18 yesterday, is graduating tomorrow and starts college in August. She/we have grown a lot over the last 6+ years, but there are still times that she scares the heck out of me. I’ve realized it’s an emotional girl thing and to just take cover and let her mother handle it until the hormone storm passes. But she’s growing into an incredible young lady. I often think about this post and how helpful and comforting it was at the time. Thanks again for the advice & suppor!

 

[leebee]

Sorry to resurrect a zombie thread, but I figured if there was ever a good time for an update it would be now. It’s been over 6 years since I met the crazy 11 year old that scared the heck out of me. Avalon turned 18 yesterday, is graduating tomorrow and starts college in August. She/we have grown a lot over the last 6+ years, but there are still times that she scares the heck out of me. I’ve realized it’s an emotional girl thing and to just take cover and let her mother handle it until the hormone storm passes. But she’s growing into an incredible young lady. I often think about this post and how helpful and comforting it was at the time. Thanks again for the advice & suppor!

Thanks for the follow-up. Don'tcha just love the good folk here on the Community Board?

 

[Kitty 34]

Thanks for the follow-up. Don'tcha just love the good folk here on the Community Board?

I know I do!

Thanks for the update

 

[Coonhound]

I would bring mom a spring bouquet and bring daughter a miniature bouquet of the same spring flowers. Not roses. And not a bouquet for the girl without one for mom.
Go someplace where there is something to actually DO, no movies. You won’t get to know her in a movie.
Also be sure you even want to be involved in what could be drama- does she already have another parent, how is their relationship, etc because you don’t want to sign up for drama

 

[Coonhound]

Never mind, didnt notice you resurrected a thread. Sigh. Glad it worked out for you.

 

[Jonfw2]

Not to ask the super obvious question, but have you taken them to WDW together?

 

[PollyannaMom]

Love hearing a happy update on an old thread.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Aw, God Bless all of you. So thankful for a happy update, as well.

 

[NewGuyHere]

Not to ask the super obvious question, but have you taken them to WDW together?

Haha, yes we did. Our first “family” trip was at the AKV in a room with a Savanna view. If I hadn’t already won the kid over with the edible arrangement, that would have definitely done it!