Meeting the girlfriends daughter for the first time and need advice.

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I agree with skipping the gift.

Maybe I'm just a you know what, but I would think it very awkward/weird if a guy showed up to a first meeting with an edible arrangements in hand.

It's way over the top for kid. It mixes creepy and trying to hard IMHO.

 

[luvlife]

The whole reason edible arrangements was even suggested was because the op wanted to give the daughter and mom a rose/flowers.
Truthfully none of us know how this 11 year old will react to anything. Anything said on this topic is pure speculation. She might enjoy the attention or she might hate it. She may be ready for this step she might not.
I wish the op luck and lots of patience!

 

[Wendy31]

As you can see, you're going to get all kinds of opinions. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to your girlfriend to see what kinds of activities her daughter would like.

For what it's worth, I don't think flowers are a bad idea.

I wouldn't do a single rose, but I think a small, springy, cheerful bouquet would be lovely. I would bring your girlfriend maybe a larger version of the same bouquet. It's a really nice gesture & shows your girlfriend's daughter that she is important too. I wouldn't make any big presentation speech or anything (I think that's where it tips into the "cheesy" category); instead, I would just give her the flowers when you pick her & her mother up for the evening.

I think most girls would like flowers - and, even if her 11 year old self might, on the outside, act like it's corny or whatever, I think she'll still be touched that you thought of her & are treating her like a lady.

I actually the idea of flowers better than an edible arrangement. Flowers are very traditional & are given in a lot of different circumstances/situations.

 

[havaneselover]

I agree with skipping the gift.

Maybe I'm just a you know what, but I would think it very awkward/weird if a guy showed up to a first meeting with an edible arrangements in hand.

It's way over the top for kid. It mixes creepy and trying to hard IMHO.

Agreed. I have a 12 y.o. DD and if someone did this for her my ex would freak out because it is a bit creepy.

 

[luvlife]

.

 

[luvlife]

Agreed. I have a 12 y.o. DD and if someone did this for her my ex would freak out because it is a bit creepy.

Would your ex freak if a man brought her a single rose or a tshirt?

 

[wvjules]

No gifts. Just go do something with the two of them and have fun. D&B, bowling, minigolf, etc. I would find a gift to be creepy and trying to hard.

 

[havaneselover]

Would your ex freak if a man brought her a single rose or a tshirt?

Single rose--yes. T-shirt--probably not.

 

[PollyannaMom]

OP, I think bowling or something active is definitely best bet. Or if you go somewhere like Dave and Busters, your "gift" can be giving her all your tickets so she can select a bigger prize.

Oooh, good idea!!

I think a small, springy, cheerful bouquet would be lovely. I would bring your girlfriend maybe a larger version of the same bouquet. It's a really nice gesture & shows your girlfriend's daughter that she is important too...I actually the idea of flowers better than an edible arrangement. Flowers are very traditional & are given in a lot of different circumstances/situations.

I agree. Either with bouquets or single flowers - red for mom, white for DD? - I think it's sweet.

 

[Azrael]

Since this thread is a month old, how did everything go?

 

[rigs32]

I see it's an older thread, but I was cringing through most of it. I was an 11 yr old with parents who were dating.

I didn't mind meeting new partners, but it felt like the adults often forgot that I didn't exactly have a say in it. If I expressed displeasure, I was being difficult or hoping they'd get back together. Nope. Just not interested in getting to know my parent's SO.

Flowers and arrangements are gifts based on intimacy, IMO. Romantic, family, or friendly. To gift either to a partners preteen child is just.... Icky. While a book or a shirt may better reflect their actual interests, they're personal without being intimate. That's what makes them better I think. Though no gift is the better way to go.

 

[mikie1011]

dave and busters that place is very fun or any arcade place or maybe a movie you could ask her what she likes doing

 

[lynxstch]

Zombie thread~~~ Since he met the daughter more than a year ago, I don't think he needs to worry about sending flowers now!

 

[perditax]

OP made 14 posts after joining, all on the same day, including this thread, then never came back. Was probably a troll trying to make people uncomfortable in the first place.

 

[PollyannaMom]

OP made 14 posts after joining, all on the same day, including this thread, then never came back. Was probably a troll trying to make people uncomfortable in the first place.

That's too bad. When I saw this thread pop back up, I thought it was an update!

 

[ShellieMimi]

OP made 14 posts after joining, all on the same day, including this thread, then never came back. Was probably a troll trying to make people uncomfortable in the first place.

A troll thread bumped by a spambot. Amazing.

 

[NewGuyHere]

First let me apologize for not replying MUCH sooner than now. I am usually pretty good at following up on posts, but this one just got away from me. Which is a shame because everyone was extremely helpful. Like a few posters said, this thread made me see that every girl will be different and to just try and be myself.

I did end up asking her mother what the best plan would be and she suggested bowling and a movie if we had time. I ended up going with the Mickey Mouse Edible Arrangement for her daughter and I got her some chocolate dipped caramel apples. I told her daughter since she had her own arrangement she didn't have to share it with her mom, which I think she liked more than the arrangement itself. She made it a point to remind her mother that the goodies were hers and she didn't have to share them a number of times during the date. But what she talks about more than anything is the twenty bucks I gave her to play in the arcade at the bowling alley that day. She won a stuffed animal from one of those crane games and she still sleeps with it every now and then. Like everyone else said, just be yourself and everything will work out. I also let her (kinda) beat my butt in bowling. I really think I could have taken her on that last game...I think...

My intention was always to be myself. The same way I would never go to a dinner party without a bottle of wine or on a date without flowers, I would have felt more awkward meeting her kid for the first time empty handed. That wouldn't have been me.

Fast forward and my girlfriend and I just celebrated our one year anniversary on Monday. She is in Disney now with her family and I am flying in tomorrow and meeting them. We couldn't be happier and her daughter and I get along good....well, as good as a 12 year old can get along with an adult dating their mom.

Thank you again for all of your advice. It definitely made me realize I couldn't do this without knowing the daughters personality a little bit. Looking back now that I know her daughter, if I did give her that rose she would have thought it was a nice gesture coming from a weird guy. So the Edible Arrangement was the perfect idea, thanks again for suggesting it!

 

[Kitty 34]

Glad all is good.

Btw....we miss you on the game boards where you posted a few times.

 

[Aliceacc]

A single rose just looks too "Bachelorette" to me. I would go for a small mixed bouquet.

And dinner somewhere kind of grownup, maybe Cheesecake Factory?

Oops, I've got to start checking post dates before I reply. Your Edible Arrangement sounds perfect!

 

[jsrj21]

I would not do flowers....honestly, just be yourself. Kids that age and younger can see right through you....so find out from her mom what she's really in to and start there. I live in the Northeast too and with this weather, nothing outdoors is feasible unless you go skiing. Good luck to you...I'm sure you'll be fine.