Is there any justification for "We really need this vacation!"

[tinkalicious]

YES!!! I believe that vacations are important. Staycations are ok every once in a while, but I personally have to travel to feel like a whole person. My family puts experiences and memories over "stuff", so we're trying to simplify so we can travel lots more. And there are lots ways to do it on the cheap. Even Disney

 

[Southernmiss]

YES!!! I believe that vacations are important. Staycations are ok every once in a while, but I personally have to travel to feel like a whole person. My family puts experiences and memories over "stuff", so we're trying to simplify so we can travel lots more. And there are lots ways to do it on the cheap. Even Disney

This is our philosophy. We didn't take a "vacation" ove rthe summer last year. We did make 3 trips to DHs mother's in Tennessee and helped her with yard projects as her husband had died in April.

We took a long weekend in December to Universal and MVMCP as our oldest DS is 17 and we know our vacas as a complete family are probably numbered.

We always pay off our trips as quickly as possible from savings. And really haven't been able to afford the cross country vacation trips we always dreamed we would take the families on.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

I agree that it depends on what you define as a "vacation". I believe that a "vacation" when meaning extended time away from work and day to day demands to regroup and reconnect is important for our mental health and the health of our relationships; but taking a "vacation" doesn't necessarily mean going on a pricey trip.

 

[MrsPete]

No, I don't think anyone NEEDS a vacation. We all need rest, relaxation, downtime. We don't necessarily need to do it in a luxurious beachfront location.

Going away won't help a bad marriage. Talking to one another, working through problems, developing compromises -- those things'll help a bad marriage. Going away on vacation might mask the problems, but those same problems'll be waiting when they come back home. Real change, not a break, is what they need.

 

[MrsPete]

well, i'm not as 'money smart' as lots of you (i leave that to DH) but what i do know is life is short...and in these uncertain times (like when have there ever been 'certain' times??) I don't regret spending money to make lifetime memories.

My dad spoke of going to epcot for a few years before his retirement. Well, the SUMMER before he was to retire, he was diagnosed with inoperable colon cancer and was dead within 3 months.

This past summer, my dear friend sat right in my living room and had a stroke...just as pretty as you please. Thank goodness, dh was here to 'save' her and she's sorta ok today but her life is altered and she cannot ever travel overseas.

A friend of a friend lost her dh last week in a car accident.

Life is short and uncertain...I fully intend to make hay while the sun shines and worry about the ants later.

Thing is, for every example about a person whose life was cut short . . . there's a story about a senior citizen who splurged too much during his or her young years and now is reduced to living on cat food. (Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but you know what I mean.)

 

[Colleen27]

Going away won't help a bad marriage. Talking to one another, working through problems, developing compromises -- those things'll help a bad marriage. Going away on vacation might mask the problems, but those same problems'll be waiting when they come back home. Real change, not a break, is what they need.

But marital troubles aren't always due to a bad marriage. Things happen that are no one's fault that can put even a good marriage to the test, and sometimes getting away from those things for a time can be a symbolic "new chapter" or simply time/space to remember the good parts of the marriage. I know that's how it was for DH & I - we talked, we compromised as much as possible, but there was no real way to work through/fix the problems we were dealing with. Having a trip to plan was a distraction that gave us a real, concrete reminder that despite the issues we were struggling to cope with we were still very blessed to have one another and our children. It didn't solve anything but it brought us closer together over something enjoyable at a time when it seemed like our whole lives were focused on the negative.

 

[m&m's mom]

I am normally a very fiscal person but, there is a local boy that is going blind. His parents are on a frantic plan to show him as much of the world as possible before he loses all vision if I were them, I would spend every penny I had and more to give him that.

 

[crisi]

I am normally a very fiscal person but, there is a local boy that is going blind. His parents are on a frantic plan to show him as much of the world as possible before he loses all vision if I were them, I would spend every penny I had and more to give him that.

My son has glaucoma. We do travel a lot and save for college, it's likely to be decades before he is blind. But we also set aside money for an eventual trust. He will need a future as much as visual memories.

My grandmother died young, when I was a baby but my aunts and uncles were still kids. The thing that sticks with me is the struggles they had with the bills that lasted for years - medical bills, not vacations, vacations would have made it worse.

I've seen more stress and regret over the situation left.

 

[ilovemk76]

But marital troubles aren't always due to a bad marriage. Things happen that are no one's fault that can put even a good marriage to the test, and sometimes getting away from those things for a time can be a symbolic "new chapter" or simply time/space to remember the good parts of the marriage. I know that's how it was for DH & I - we talked, we compromised as much as possible, but there was no real way to work through/fix the problems we were dealing with. Having a trip to plan was a distraction that gave us a real, concrete reminder that despite the issues we were struggling to cope with we were still very blessed to have one another and our children. It didn't solve anything but it brought us closer together over something enjoyable at a time when it seemed like our whole lives were focused on the negative.

This is what MsPete said. Communication is what was needed. If there are children, then sending them to another person's home so you have alone time would allow for the needed communication.

Distractions help to get over problem but a distraction does not have to be a costly vacation.

 

[elaine amj]

My son has glaucoma. We do travel a lot and save for college, it's likely to be decades before he is blind. But we also set aside money for an eventual trust. He will need a future as much as visual memories.

My grandmother died young, when I was a baby but my aunts and uncles were still kids. The thing that sticks with me is the struggles they had with the bills that lasted for years - medical bills, not vacations, vacations would have made it worse.

I've seen more stress and regret over the situation left.

Very good point. Vacations and memories have their time and place - but I value financial security more.

In the situation of a child losing their sight, I would put much more value in ensuring the child had a secure financial future ahead vs spending every dime on memories. I would instead expend extra effort to give the child memories I could afford. If you have the money, it's one thing. If you don't - then get creative.

But then again, everyone is different. I'm more the "scrimp and save now, enjoy later" vs the other way around. I can definitely see (and understand) that for some folks, "splurging now and scrimping and saving later" is worth it. As long as you have your eyes open wide, then go for it. Not something I could ever be comfortable with personally, but it has its place and we all make our own choices.

 

[indimom]

My son has glaucoma. We do travel a lot and save for college, it's likely to be decades before he is blind. But we also set aside money for an eventual trust. He will need a future as much as visual memories.

My grandmother died young, when I was a baby but my aunts and uncles were still kids. The thing that sticks with me is the struggles they had with the bills that lasted for years - medical bills, not vacations, vacations would have made it worse.

I've seen more stress and regret over the situation left.

Very good point. Vacations and memories have their time and place - but I value financial security more.

In the situation of a child losing their sight, I would put much more value in ensuring the child had a secure financial future ahead vs spending every dime on memories. I would instead expend extra effort to give the child memories I could afford. If you have the money, it's one thing. If you don't - then get creative.

But then again, everyone is different. I'm more the "scrimp and save now, enjoy later" vs the other way around. I can definitely see (and understand) that for some folks, "splurging now and scrimping and saving later" is worth it. As long as you have your eyes open wide, then go for it. Not something I could ever be comfortable with personally, but it has its place and we all make our own choices.

I've got to say, I agree with both of you.

Our daughter has a vision threatening eye disease that is unpredictable. She could maintain her current vision (far from perfect, but enough to get by) for the rest of her life or she could have sudden and catastrophic vision loss at any time in the future.

Even if we knew vision loss was guarranteed, I still can't fathom pouring money into trips just so she could 'see' the world at the expense of her future. No way. She has 70 or 80 years ahead of her (some of those long after we'll be gone and able to help her) and I wouldn't want those years to be any harder than they already would be. It's far more important that she get an education so she can support herself without vision and training so she can navigate everyday life.

 

[wishing4PA]

IMHO, you can "need" a vacation. Without something to look forward to, who needs oxygen, food, drink, life?
In my case, I "need" to live somewhere else, and I "need" to raise DD somewhere else (and I'm flexible, there are plenty of somewheres that would qualify!) We moved here on temporary grounds, and believe me, if I could just take vacation money and put it toward moving permanently away, I would. But I'm not the only one in charge of the money, and the real estate market isn't helping out any either, lol. So the little I can do for myself and DD and DH is get out now and then, and let DD see her mom enjoy herself and experience other parts of the world, however briefly, before returning to this place where we "live".

I wish OP's friend all the best, and I hope the vacation helps!

 

[Svhadden]

I haven't read every reply, but I have to say I agree with both sides of this issue. In the case of a troubled marriage, I think vacationing on credit isn't wise. Being overcommitted with creditors is nothing but stress, and will do more harm than good. Instead of one major, expensive vacation, why not commit to a date-night every week, or every other week instead? There's no way the issues in a marriage can be worked out in one shotgun blast trip...rather, it's more productive to have regular one-on-one focused interaction. Also MUCH cheaper than a vacay!

Regarding whether you NEED a vacay or not, a few years ago, I'd have said no. My DH and I have been married for 16 yrs, and have two kids (11 and 5). We would take a couple of 3-4 day trips a year, but never took any big, blowout vacays. We do NOT finance fun. We have NEVER put a vacay on a credit card...don't have any, as a matter of fact.

HOWEVER, when we went on our first Disney vacay 4 yrs ago, we saw how incredible it was to spend 9 solid days with just us, having fun, no worries, no concerns about "regular life," and it was such a game-changer for our family that we committed to doing it every year. It's a big sacrifice because the trip isn't cheap, and as I said, we don't do credit. But the memories that we're making with our kids are worth every home-cooked meal, every "but it's on sale and I would LOVE to have it" denial, not driving a new vehicle, etc.

So, yes, we do NEED vacations. And NO, we don't lol. Just my .02.

 

[SDSorority]

It's easy to say something like, "No one ever needs a vacation," and that's fair (and sensible).

I've been thinking about it because recently a friend told me they are going on a vacation even though they can in no way afford it. Her reason, their marriage in on the rocks and she feels they "need" this vacation to help save their relationship. I get that this might not fly for some people, but I do have some sympathy for her situation. When you've been dealing with life and it's been really hard, sometimes it does feel like you need a break just to keep going, even if it isn't a very smart financial choice.

For me, when my mom was dying, we took her on a vacation that I couldn't at all afford. The whole thing went on credit. The bills are long paid off, but I don't regret a cent of that trip.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is: Is there any reason you would consider valid for taking a trip you couldn't afford?

For me, I wouldn't consider taking a trip that I couldn't afford until I could afford to go. So, for example- we're planning on going to Norway (Epcot inspired). We can't afford it now (ok we could, but let's pretend we can't) so we're going to do OTHER special little trips to save up for it for a 2014 trip. That way, we'll get to do the trip, just a little later down the road. Half of the fun is planning for it anyway, right?! So what we have planned is this fall ('12) we're going to Canada (big trip). Next fall ('13) we're going to WDW (we do it so cheap that it's a small-medium size trip). The following summer ('14) we're going to Norway. Then we'll go back to WDW (again, cheaply, '15). Along the way we'll probably do a spotty weekend away here and there, again, very cheaply. Our holidays (Christmas, birthdays, etc) are all geared toward the vacation that year, whether it's supplies, toiletries, clothing, Southwest gift cards, whatever we still need to get. Now, we live VERY cheaply every day- I even make my own lotion and cut DH's hair for goodness sake!! (I call it thrifty... but whatever). But, we do this because it allows us to spend on what REALLY makes us happy, which IS vacations. I'd so much rather save $25 per month by cutting DH's hair to use toward a meal at Jiko.... KWIM?

To me, the stress of not being able to afford something defeats the relaxation of an extravagant vacation.

 

[Planogirl]

People have to choose for themselves. We all place different value on things and as long as the bills are paid and you won't go broke why not go on vacation if that's what you want? It's not that it's a need but a life of only needs is pretty bleak.

We've taken many budget trips when we could have been repairing the house or investing in new furniture. We also drive old cars. I would personally rather have great experiences than new furniture or appliances. We will have to get that new roof though!

 

[punkin]

People have to choose for themselves. We all place different value on things and as long as the bills are paid and you won't go broke why not go on vacation if that's what you want? It's not that it's a need but a life of only needs is pretty bleak.

We've taken many budget trips when we could have been repairing the house or investing in new furniture. We also drive old cars. I would personally rather have great experiences than new furniture or appliances. We will have to get that new roof though!

Right...going on vacation while neglecting a need (the roof) is not a good idea, but going on vacation when you have other pressing wants (new car, furniture, appliances) is your own business.

 

[scbelleatheart]

We really needed a vacation after DFIL died after several months of pain and hospital stays. My DH just laid back in a beach chair for the entier week. We could afford it. To save a marriage if you can't afford it is doomed.
We hadn't taken a vacation for 4 years until this past December because of a few bad years of business and then we worked so hard in 2010 and 2011 to be able to take one. We only went for 6 days and it wasn't enough to decompress. But business is booming now so I don't know if we will be able to take another on for another 2 years.
Love my cash flow though!

 

[tasha99]

I took my kids on vacation when we were really poor, and I don't regret it. I actually got slammed on this board for using my earned income credit to do so, but we had all our needs met, and I really wanted to have that kind of family time with them.

Now I'm not so poor anymore, and putting off vacation is okay with me (we need to buy braces this year, and I have 2 in college so any vacations will be in a year or two, if then). People here always criticize the working poor, but they have no idea what it's like. You know why poor people do things with their EIC like go on vacation or buy tv's? Because their daily grind is really hard, so having some luxury like that matters more than it does to the middle class.

 

[indimom]

I took my kids on vacation when we were really poor, and I don't regret it. I actually got slammed on this board for using my earned income credit to do so, but we had all our needs met, and I really wanted to have that kind of family time with them.

Now I'm not so poor anymore, and putting off vacation is okay with me (we need to buy braces this year, and I have 2 in college so any vacations will be in a year or two, if then). People here always criticize the working poor, but they have no idea what it's like. You know why poor people do things with their EIC like go on vacation or buy tv's? Because their daily grind is really hard, so having some luxury like that matters more than it does to the middle class.

I've been poor, I'm still very much lower middle class. I don't think that's true.
I've got no issue with how you used your tax credit. But, I just don't think that final line is accurate at all.

 

[burnurcomputer]

I need vacations. Every person is different. I need to leave my enviroment and just experience other things then what I see day to day. I need it like I need to breathe.




Belle: I want to venture in the great wide somewhere, I want it more then I can tell, and for one it might be grand to have someone understand, I want so much more for me then they have planned!