In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[lorli]

The next step was to begin to open myself up to those around me and stop living within these protective walls I had built around myself to shield me from the hurtful comments, looks, actions, etc. that society has always thrown at people who were overweight. In theory, it was a good coping mechanism back in high school, but over time, I have come to realize that my protective walls became my own private prison and fear of rejection was controlling my adult life. I focused on my career because I was judged on my ability alone and I succeeded in what I did. I liked the feeling so much that I focused all of my attention on that in order to make up for what I wasn't getting anywhere else.

Goof

Thanks so much for opening up on here and letting all of us in. I have to say I feel like I could have written at least this part of your post. I think I'll take a page from your book and take some chances too.

Lori

 

[HockeyKat]

Btw goof, sorry I meant to post earlier but my blues got me down... I really think you are doing the right thing for yourself.

And larry's girl (susan), good to see you back. Sorry you have been sick.


Sorry for anyone else I missed today. I promise I will be back to myself at some point this weekend.

 

[lorli]

Haven't been able to check the boards much the last couple of days, it has been so very crazy. Yesterday after work picked up dd (6) from daycare and took her to dr. to have stitches removed from arm then, when oked off to 1/2 of gymnastics that she already missed the week before because of stitches. After gymnastics we had dinner our for her good report card. Lastly last night I had a Pampered Chef party to attend and was late to that. I didn't sit and relax until 9:30 and that was for bed.

Today I had a crazy parent to deal with, state testing, late meeting - who do they think they are scheduling late meetings on Fridays for teachers, back to the craziness, pick dd from daycare, home for dinner and off to her first grade concert. They certainly were cute.

Yes I have done well since January but this has been a tough week. Eventhough I stayed on program, ww, I haven't lost and even gained, not officially yet because I have a nasty habit of weighing myself often, several times a week, nope, several times a day yes. Anyways, good luck everyone.

Lori

 

[AKASnowWhite]

IOk, you MUST go to a specialty running store and get properly fitted for sneakers. They should do a complete foot and gait analysis and make sure that they put you in the right shoe. It is a guaranteed process, which means that if you still have foot issues after using the new ones, they will take 'em back and get you another pair.

That is absolutely true. Everyone should do that, whether they are an occasional jogger or training for a marathon. I have been fitted (when I was actually training for the marathon! ) and sorry to say, it's not the shoes. I think it's a function of age and abuse to my body (as in the physical abuse that I put myself thru. see above- I'm an exercise addict. Unfortunately, I'm also a FOOD addict, and they don't quite cancel each other out... ) This *injury* is most likely simply a result of over-use...

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Haven't been able to check the boards much the last couple of days, it has been so very crazy. Yesterday after work picked up dd (6) from daycare and took her to dr. to have stitches removed from arm then, when oked off to 1/2 of gymnastics that she already missed the week before because of stitches. After gymnastics we had dinner our for her good report card. Lastly last night I had a Pampered Chef party to attend and was late to that. I didn't sit and relax until 9:30 and that was for bed.

Today I had a crazy parent to deal with, state testing, late meeting - who do they think they are scheduling late meetings on Fridays for teachers, back to the craziness, pick dd from daycare, home for dinner and off to her first grade concert. They certainly were cute.

Yes I have done well since January but this has been a tough week. Eventhough I stayed on program, ww, I haven't lost and even gained, not officially yet because I have a nasty habit of weighing myself often, several times a week, nope, several times a day yes. Anyways, good luck everyone.

Lori

ahhh....life with kids. Ain't it grand? Two words I don't know the meaning of "bored" and "lonely" It's always something, isn't it???

Finding the right balance is so darned tricky. But, at least we can all say we are TRYING!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Yes I have done well since January but this has been a tough week. Eventhough I stayed on program, ww, I haven't lost and even gained, not officially yet because I have a nasty habit of weighing myself often, several times a week, nope, several times a day yes. Anyways, good luck everyone.

Lori

Hi honey...we would love you to join our challenge and help our numbers ...basically what we are doing is competing against another thread on the Wish...we weighin ach Friday..top 5 losers from each week are recognized and at the endo of the month ...the winners will get a magnet from one of the losers in the form of a state magnet as a moving trophy. I love the simplicity of it and the fn spirit. We are all glad you are here and feel free to post when you can...
By the way...you and goof and I are similar..I too hid behind the weight for a long time...I now though...may just have found what I had been hiding from...a heart to go with mine.....

 

[3DisneyKids]

I now though...may just have found what I had been hiding from...a heart to go with mine.....

SPILL IT, GIRL!!!! What's the scoop? Inquiring minds NEED to know!

 

[HockeyKat]

That would be great Dawn, I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Food for today:
B: coffee
L: chicken(150), pita(60) salad (100), cottage cheese (90), apple (60)
D: chicken livers (450), onion (25), artichoke (60), light butter (50)
Total, 1045. Water, 64 oz. Exercise, none.

However, I just poured a glass of wine that will add 150 more, and I may decide to eat a snack later. I am deciding for tonight to not go crazy or eat anything unhealthy, but not worry about it quite so much.

 

[3DisneyKids]

That would be great Dawn, I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Food for today:
B: coffee
L: chicken(150), pita(60) salad (100), cottage cheese (90), apple (60)
D: chicken livers (450), onion (25), artichoke (60), light butter (50)
Total, 1045. Water, 64 oz. Exercise, none.

However, I just poured a glass of wine that will add 150 more, and I may decide to eat a snack later. I am deciding for tonight to not go crazy or eat anything unhealthy, but not worry about it quite so much.

Sounds like that is the right plan for you tonight.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

However, I just poured a glass of wine that will add 150 more, and I may decide to eat a snack later. I am deciding for tonight to not go crazy or eat anything unhealthy, but not worry about it quite so much.

I had TWO! And a nap... I fell right asleep in my chair. Ah...my exciting Friday night- a cheap date!

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

Hello all of you LUCKY people.....


I have missed you today.


Dawn-- I too have made a discovery....well maybe that is a different thread

Anyway. I am hard at work getting caught up with reading about my peeps....Stay tuned for film at 11

 

[3DisneyKids]

Am I reading this right?!?!?!?!?

 

[grumpyyoungguy]

Am I reading this right?!?!?!?!?

Reading what right? Am I missing something?

 

[Dizneydawn]

Am I reading this right?!?!?!?!?

My Girl..are you there...do you need help off the floor..are ya dead mon??? What are you reading???

Do I need to call the paramedics??? I am invisioning you on the floor of your office....kids and hubby asleep and you in need of CPR....

Not that you are not beautiful...cause you know I think you are...but you are not my type...so I would need to get a male ambulance man to get through the 20 feet of snow you have in the front yard....

And then preform CPR...and then explain to your hubby who comes in and is kicking said ambulance man's @ss...that you were just passed out cold on the floor..and I needed to get you help....and then there would be a law suit an dthe whole thing could get messy...so just get off the floor already....

 

[UtahMama]

A little gift for those needing uplifting!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofYrt9ymTRo&feature=related

 

[3DisneyKids]

...so just get off the floor already....

Yeah, but you are not playing fair! I mean, you throw this juicy tidbit out there and then...nothin'!

We all let EVERYTHING hang out on this thread, right? I have shared that I wear Spanx under my workout clothes to the gym and about my SBF in the 3-way mirror, we know all about pidipples at Typhoon Lagoon, we have learned that Giant Turds somehow cannot see child vomit....and you choose NOW to get shy?

Harsh...

 

[Dizneydawn]

Yeah, but you are not playing fair! I mean, you throw this juicy tidbit out there and then...nothin'!

We all let EVERYTHING hang out on this thread, right? I have shared that I wear Spanx under my workout clothes to the gym and about my SBF in the 3-way mirror, we know all about pidipples at Typhoon Lagoon, we have learned that Giant Turds somehow cannot see child vomit....and you choose NOW to get shy?

Harsh...

True enough...but what if Everything causes someone to faint or pass out or have a heart attack????

Will I be liable??

Look back on post 1357/1363 and see if you find any similarities...I have not really been hiding info...just treading the waters to see how my news would be received...but you are right...I have been feeling like I have been withholding from my family...and it has made me sad. I want to be accepted and honest...you are my family...let me know what you think....I am praying with my eyes and heart and soul to the heavens that this will be well received or at least not ripped to shreads...because God truly gave me a gift and I am ready to hold onto it.

 

[HockeyKat]

True enough...but what if Everything causes someone to faint or pass out or have a heart attack????

Will I be liable??

Look back on post 1357/1363 and see if you find any similarities...I have not really been hiding info...just treading the waters to see how my news would be received...but you are right...I have been feeling like I have been withholding from my family...and it has made me sad. I want to be accepted and honest...you are my family...let me know what you think....I am praying with my eyes and heart and soul to the heavens that this will be well received or at least not ripped to shreads...because God truly gave me a gift and I am ready to hold onto it.

Honey, whatever makes you happy. Really. No judgement here... we are your friends.

And you deserve happiness!! We all know that the turd absolutely does not deserve a wonderful person like you, and honestly needs a good butt-whupping for what he has done to you over the years. I am telling you... once it thaws up there... my hockey stick and I may be making a drive to MN...

Edit: I went back and looked at both posts. OH!! If it is what I think it is... how wonderful!!!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Kat...do we need to get the short bus for you???

Dawn--I am so excited for you (for you both!) that I am not going to be able to sleep tonight! I am such a hopeless romantic....

 

[Dizneydawn]

Honey, whatever makes you happy. Really. No judgement here... we are your friends.

And you deserve happiness!! We all know that the turd absolutely does not deserve a wonderful person like you, and honestly needs a good butt-whupping for what he has done to you over the years. I am telling you... once it thaws up there... my hockey stick and I may be making a drive to MN...

Thank you Kat...I am sitting here crying because I was so worried that people would think I was a horrible person for not waiting until the divorce was officially over...but the truth is...I have been seperated for 14 months and have not looked back in any loving way...I have struggled so hard to hold it all together...
He threw a plastic hanger in front of Carsyn and Baylor at me Wednesday night...if it would have hit me...the velocity would have been enough to open up my head...and I kept thinking...why am I being respectful to him? Why am I hoping it connects so I have a justifiable reason to get him out and not me be looked at as an insensitive bi@ch.

All I want is for him to have a good, safe place for our kids to be with him...and him to get counseling...and he and I to be happy...seperate.

This will happen by the end of April...and I hope he will truly become a better person.

The dillema is that God brought into my life a man who is the kindest, most gentle soul I could ever be blessed to know. He has helped me realize my worth as a human being and truly...for the first time...know what it means to be loved and cared about...and I think God knew what he was doing...he was giving me the push to believe in a better place..a confirmation I was ready to make a good and healthy decesion for my life.

God had us dancing within arms reach for 18 years...He was just waiting to introduce us for the right song. It played and within seconds...I knew every word.