Hi Everyone....
It has been a busy day here already this morning and I am not looking all too favorably on the design team for the project I am working on, but it is Friday and I am going to get two days off from this 'fun' so it can't be all bad right....
With all of the drama in my life this week, I am not sure if I ever posted my weigh in results from this week's Jenny Craig consultation.... The bad news is that I had three straight days of stress eating thanks to my career conundrum (I like the way that sounds... odd, I know...) and was drinking water like crazy all day on Monday so I was a very bloated girl when I stepped onto the scale. All said, I gained 3.5 pounds this week... YIKES!!!!!![]()
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I am back on track now and staying withing my eating plan, exercising every night, etc so I expect much better numbers next week. I feel bad that I am not contributing to the team challenge this week, but I'll be there for you next week I promise!!!!!
On a positive note, the career conundrum is starting to resolve itself. I have decided that it is not in my best interests to pick up and move to a place where I know no one right now. As much as it makes me seem like a wimp, I am just not in the right place mentally to take that challenge on because I have a few other issues to deal with that are higher on the priority list. For my entire adult life, I have put my career over my life and this past year I began to realize that I have missed out on so much living because of it. I had made the choice in the fall of last year that it was time to put myself first and the first step was to get my eating habits / lifestyle under control. The next step was to begin to open myself up to those around me and stop living within these protective walls I had built around myself to shield me from the hurtful comments, looks, actions, etc. that society has always thrown at people who were overweight. In theory, it was a good coping mechanism back in high school, but over time, I have come to realize that my protective walls became my own private prison and fear of rejection was controlling my adult life. I focused on my career because I was judged on my ability alone and I succeeded in what I did. I liked the feeling so much that I focused all of my attention on that in order to make up for what I wasn't getting anywhere else.
So - the time has come for me to break down my walls and live my life. In order to do that, I need to be around people and places that I trust and am comfortable in. Right now, that is here. In time, I may feel the urge to be somewhere else, but as my sister said, you can move to other places where you have friends from school or have business contacts established and have an easier adjustment, how are you helping to position yourself for success when you go someplace where you have nothing. That thought stuck with me...
So, I am in the process of negotiating a better position for myself here so that professionally, I can feel like I am contributing to the greater good again. There are options here that need to be cultivated and are viable. In the meantime, 2008 is the year for me to break free of my own self imposed restrictions and improve the quality of my life outside of work. That involves living a healthier lifestyle, doing things that are outside of my comfort zone and getting out there and enjoying what the world has to offer. Ideally, my relationships with my friends and family should get stronger and who knows, maybe I'll meet the man of my dreams, but I need to learn how to take that risk and this is the year I am going to do it.
Thanks again to everyone for your support and words of wisdom. They have all been a great help to me.
Sorry for the book, but I wanted to share what I have been working through mentally since you have all had a role in it...
Goof
I'm happy you had some resolution!
