In Search of my Body...Not The One I Ate.. #4 "Inspiring Others... 1 Tiara at a Time"

Wow, you guys were busy while I was gone.

Dawn ~ I think it would be awesome for Carsyn to start her own thread for teens. It might get her way of thinking in check. But, I agree, it won't do any good until she is ready.

Nancy ~ well stated.

An update about me. Didn't exercise today, too dreary around here. I read instead. Boy, did I ever. Barnes & Noble was just too tempting. Started two new vampire series ~ yum! I am now on my 6th vamp series (including Twilight). I'm thinking I should really try to come up with my own.

(Is noone else dreaming in vampire? Cause I've mentioned it a FEW times and not one of you has validated me!)

Me! Me! Absolutely wonderful dreams. Except mine is named Lucian Argeneau.

I decided to start back on Phase 1 for a few days, just to get my cravings in check. I have to go back to the Doc this month and I want my insulin levels to be in the normal range. The were at 27 in October and need to be under 19. Still, it's a huge drop from 51 in July.

Mom talked to me today a little about our trip and she is going to pay for SeaWorld tickets! :banana: :banana: Very excited! I haven't been there since 1982. Looks like it will be a vacation of firsts for Ryan and Taylor! WDW, Gatorworld, and SeaWorld. I am so far behind on planning, but I won't dare let anybody else help. Can you say...Amiee is a Control Freak!

The kids are back from their dad's and are acting like demon spawns. Please say a prayer for my sanity. Or FedEx some tranquilizers. :lmao:
 
I'm thinking I should really try to come up with my own.

Ohh - Interesting. I think about writing books. To totally cater to the reader, not the story. Does that make sense. Is that a recipe for disaster Liz?

Me! Me! Absolutely wonderful dreams. Except mine is named Lucian Argeneau.

Good. I'm not crazy. Or we both are.

I decided to start back on Phase 1 for a few days, just to get my cravings in check. I have to go back to the Doc this month and I want my insulin levels to be in the normal range. The were at 27 in October and need to be under 19. Still, it's a huge drop from 51 in July.

Forgot you were diabetic.


The kids are back from their dad's and are acting like demon spawns. Please say a prayer for my sanity. Or FedEx some tranquilizers. :lmao:

Ah yes, the transition period. Heaven help you.

I am supposed to be working on the cast list. I am just to darn lazy today.
 
Lyz - Totally dream in Twilight. Have you read fan fic yet? It can be really good.

Aimee - I would SO share the drugs if I had them!
 
Ah yes, the transition period. Heaven help you.

I am supposed to be working on the cast list. I am just to darn lazy today.


Why didn't this quote what I wanted?

Anyway, write a book. I'll tell you if it sucks. Seriously. Give me something new to read. If you have an idea, I can help you make it better.


And omg, cast list. I can't be ignoring all the newbies. You must organize it so I can be their best friends. Right? Though I fear I am already the crazy Twilight fan with the cancer mom. Eh. Any tag works, really. Don't be scared of me newbies! I will love you all, too! Swear!

See what happens when I half-a$$ come back? Crazy girl! Kat - the train is stopping here! choo-choo!
 


Paula - are you still feeling good after your workout? I'm so happy for you that things are going well with your trainer. Can't wait to get started with mine! :goodvibes

Nancy - the training sessions are going well. My 'recovery' time after each session is getting shorter and shorter and walking is no longer painful. He tells me that I am coming along faster than he thought I would be which is a good thing and a bad thing. Good in that I am taking well to the program and bad in the who knows what he has in store for me next kind of way. I really like it so far, but ask me again in a few weeks and we'll see how I am doing. I still need some time to get the food in sync with the training again, because I am starving... The trainer told me that was a good sign since it means my muscles are starting to rebuild. Now, I just need to keep myself from eating the calories I just worked off...

You all have been busy while I was gone (retail therapy - not many purchases, but still fun...).

Dawn - I know where Carsyn is right now - I have been there so many times. You know there is a problem and you aren't happy, but yet you aren't quite ready to committ to everything that you need to in order to change. At the same time you keep hearing, you should be this or you would be such a pretty girl if you lost xx pounds or why can't you keep up with us... The pressure is unyielding so the last thing she needs is more pressure from her parents. Yelling at her and telling her she's wrong ultimately won't help. The fact that Chad is not telling her the correct info won't help either. In the end she has to do it for herself.

What works for you may not work for her. In fact, they probably won't. She has to find a way to make the changes that fit her lifestyle work. Remember, her lifestyle if very different than yours. All you can do is encourage her to research her options and proceed in a safe manner. Educate her about what is out there, provide good choices when she is eating in your home and encourage her to make wise choices and then have the courage to let her make her own choices. After all, that is what she is going to do anyways...

This may not be the answer you are looking for, but as you are all too aware, there is no magic pill to solve this problem. It is an individual issue and Carsyn has to deal with it on her own terms.

Paula
 
What's this fan fic?

I haven't read Edwards side of the story yet. Once I read it will really be over, lol. Oh and I need to watch the movie too. Not in the theater though. I'm not a theater person. I will wait to rent.

Darnit Paula. I want a magic pill.
 
What's this fan fic?

I haven't read Edwards side of the story yet. Once I read it will really be over, lol. Oh and I need to watch the movie too. Not in the theater though. I'm not a theater person. I will wait to rent.

Darnit Paula. I want a magic pill.

Don't we all.... if only I could come up with one for dating as well as one for dieting... I would be rich and would so own DVC points...
 
/
OMG, STOP! I can't keep up. And when have I EVER said that?!!? Too much tequila. Crap. I'll get there. Back in an hour or so.

Liz...love the hair...oh and I know the lyric.
 
Oh my gosh, I completely forgot! I'm cancelling my Y membership and going for the 24 hr place right around the corner. They are even less expensive! And I can visit any of their 3 locations (local folks to boot). Looks like I am going to get over my fear of the 'in shape people' rather quickly. I start up with them in February after my membership is over at the Y.


Wow, you guys are busy, busy. Once again I gotta catch up.
 
Liz - :laughing: so happy toi see you. I smiled at your newbie thoughts. I was thinking I scared the crap out of a few of them. It's okay newbies. Come.

Erika - thanks for the siblings geography. I love that kind of thing. Don't know why. I must go back and look to make sure I got it right but does that mean you have Mom to yourself - daily. Lucky you - since she's so interesting. Did Jeff grow up in Kennebunkport? Did I just kill the spelling? :lmao:

Oh Dawn. So much to say. First to everyone - let me preface by saying I know there are many ways to health and to losing weight. And I have a different perspective on things (losing and food I mean) than most of you - just a different perspective.

Dawn - I don't begin to know why Carsyn is overweight. So here I go. Do not make it an issue. Do not. It will not do any good. I don't believe anyway. Just do well yourself and as a family. I was an overweight child/teenager - I think I remember that you weren't. I was overweight for two reasons. One I was in emotional pain and overeating helped. Two, I realized very early that I was genetically big - bones and could never be "that girl". Whatever that means.

My parents should have looked past any weight and tried to see what was "wrong". Maybe unconsciously they knew and didn't want to face. I don't know. But I'll tell you - their talking to me about weight did nothing. In fact, it seemed like an attack no matter how gentle they were. It felt like there was something "wrong" with me. When in fact there is nothing wrong with anyone who is overweight. I mean as a person. As a soul. One does need to look at being overweight for many reasons. But it says nada about your being - your worth/place in the world.

Now, this is me. How I took it. I don't know Carsyn. She is a completely different person. But I do know your struggles - marriage etc. So I suspect she couldn't have come out unscathed no matter how good of a mother you are. So be aware of that. That overeating might have to do with unresolved feelings. So no preaching to her Dawn. I think, from my experience it wiill just make things worse. Just love her.

Chad - I'm sorry but I agree partly with Chad Dawn. I do. I haven't looked at food at all. I like healthy food and I like unhealthy food. And I eat all. And eat enough of the healthy stuff to be healthy is that makes sense. I know I'm not at goal and can't fairly speak until I am. But I do feel ilke I can speak with my success. Most of my weight loss has come for two reasons. Taking care of my inner sh!t just lessened/stopped at times emotional overeating. therefore - wieght loss. And two - exercise. Geez, for me - and this is only for me, the less I look at food the more successful I am. Really. So he's not way off course. Also, when I moved downtown many eons ago there was so much natural exercise. 20 minute walk to Raptor's games. So 40 minutes and not feeling like exercise. 10 minute walk to the subway - back - so 20 minutes not exercise. Sometimes I didn't take the elevator at my last place. Blah blah blah. And it just came off.

EDIT: Don't think I"m saying anything about being healthy. That's great. Eating healthy to be healthy. My point is that you don't have to eat all healthy to lose weight. You don't. Two separate issues there. But I'm all for health. And obviously it helps.

And I do believe in looking at portions and eating consciously Dawn. So I'm not all Chad - but I do know what he means.

The lazy thing is crap though. There are lazy overweight people and lazy skinnies. Many reasons for being overweight. Lazy can be part of one person's picture. But it can be part of anyoine's picture. So don't mistake that I'm all there.

Now 40s are different. And as I might have to look at food as I get closer to goal. I know. Probably I'll just choose to love the weight. Really.

As for Erika and Nancy - well - ladies - I know you want to be more fit (than the fit person you are) and smaller or leaner or something - both of you. But I truly believe that both of those ladies look fantastic. As in their weight is great. They just want different. I'm trying to say that I believe that there comes a time when we all should be good. This is me and I'm beautiful. I'm rambling now. So I better stop.

Dawn - just look after yourself. She will figure it out. Don't make it a Carsyn issue. Just simply love her. And don't put down Chad's thoughts to her. I honestly feel like he's not too much off base. And even if he was - she can hear different opinions - both his and yours and others - and weigh them all and make her own decision on her life. She's at that age. Just my opinion on Chad's thoughts. A lot of us have taken out so many natural exercise habits out of our lives. Walking - garage door openers - converters. So many. Cars - cars - cars. Look at Nancy's day yesterday. Just things needed to be done and lots of movement.

Okay - off my soapbox.

Oh and Nancy - I like that you are thinking about how your choices might or might not affect your children's thoughts on bodies and weight. I think it is important that we are conscious of what they are seeing regarding food etc.

Okay - got to go prep. Teaching tomorrow.
 
Amiee - fantastic.

Liz - love the hair

Erika - who knows on the meat. I so love meat. But four times a year I'm a basketcase looking or thinking about animals. But then I love meat and I go on. So who knows....
 
ok, here I go...

Lyz/Aimee/Liz...yes, Twilight and vampires OWNED me for a while. I am passed it now, but OMG, yes. I was so there. In that world.

Lisa and Nancy--your words about Carsyn and fitness were great.

Paula--so glad everything is going well with the trainer. You so totally rock and I am incredibly proud of you. This is a HUGE step.

Dawn...ok, so this going to be a bit longer. Obviously, this issue with Carsyn touched a nerve with many of us. Me, too. Young girls and body image is SO my societal issue right now.

First, ignore Chad. There is absolutely NOTHING you can do about what he says or believes. It sucks, yup, but there it is. You can talk to him till you are blue in the face, but you cannot change a thing. Let it go. All you can control is YOUR side of things.

As for your side...you said that you used some tough love with Carsyn. Well, in that same light, I am going to use some of that with you. You, my dear, are her number one female role model. Whether she means to or not, she looks to YOU for how she should behave and what she should be doing. As others have said, the only thing you can do here is to lead by example. Don't focus on this with her, don't make her think and talk about her weight. It will only make it worse. All you can do on your end is to...DO.

And here comes the tough love part. Look at the last year...you have tried everything under the sun and bounced around from thing to thing. The pouch test. Weight watchers. Low carb. FitDay. Calorie counting. Some fasting or liquid thing (can't remember). You need to find YOUR program, whatever it may be, and stick to it. All of the fad stuff and quick-fix stuff needs to stop. There are tons of healthy programs out there. Find the one you can live with...and then LIVE it. Carsyn will see this. And will likely fall in line.

At 15, she has the power and control what she does and does not put in her mouth. You can be there to educate her, to lead by example, and to be her number one fan/support system. But the action part has to come from her.

My biggest victory of 2008 was not losing weight. It was not running a half marathon. It came in November. When Cammie said, "Mom, I want to start training with you. I want to run, too." I never mentioned it to her at all. Never suggested it. She just saw me doing it, having success, and decided she wanted to do it, too.

Think about what Carsyn sees YOU do. And then think about what you WANT her to see you do.
 
My biggest victory of 2008 was not losing weight. It was not running a half marathon. It came in November. When Cammie said, "Mom, I want to start training with you. I want to run, too." I never mentioned it to her at all. Never suggested it. She just saw me doing it, having success, and decided she wanted to do it, too.

Think about what Carsyn sees YOU do. And then think about what you WANT her to see you do.

I just wanted to highlight this. They do look at us. They so do. Quietly. But with such intent.

That's so lovely Erika. :lovestruc Aaaah sio much to say......but I'll leave it with lovely.
 
I couldn't take it anymore. I made my kids go to bed early (and just a few minutes later, they are asleep). They act like little animals after they visit Brad. Drives me crazy! I don't run a sweat shop, but they have to mind me on occassion. Add one more reason to the why I am glad that we are over list ~ he acts like an 8 year old. He has no manners at all. (Yeah, Smith, that's the understatement of the century. Of course, he has no manners.) Sorry, that little voice inside my head had to play a bit. It's the same one that kicks me in the rear when I start to feel sorry for myself. Time for a glass of wine to help me relax a bit. Cheers!

Edit: Going to enjoy my mascato with a bubble bath. I do love to spoil myself here and there.

My gosh if we keep this rate up, we are going to need a new thread again in no time.

I'm back to my normal work schedule tomorrow! Sad that I already want to take a day off. Kids are back to school and pre-school too. Woo Hoo! I might even be able to stop by and post before work.

Hi Lurkers! Stop by and say hi!

Hi Non-Lurkers too!
 
Evening everyone...

First of all thanks fo rbeing the place I needed to get my feelings out...and explain that I actually...may have done the best thing for Carsyn...without intending to...and maybe I need to trust my instincts as a mom for knowing her better than I do sometimes...

Here is what has happened since the "intervention..."

She came upstairs...sat on my bed...and asked me to listen to her...I said absolutley...and then she thanked me...and I about had a small coronary..

see...since we had our talk...and I was bold and frank with her...she hit the net...and her school...has a menu on line...with...calorie intake...and she found it on her own...and was astonished about what she came upon...

Her normal food meal was either between 830 calories and 960...and that was if she did not ask her friends for extras or buy any extras...and the look of awareness...was the same look I had seeing those pics on the Boardwalk...

She said..."I had no idea...why don't they tell you it is so much...?"

She also had looked up on line info for ebery weight loss program...and some personal trainers...and said..."You were right...they all say you need to be aware of how much you are eating and what."

She then said..."I know you love me and were not letting me lie to myself. I know that you want me to do the best I can at whatever I decide so just like getting me coaches for gymnastics and lessons for dance...you want me to be informed about changing my life so I can do the best I can if that is what I want. I am telling you that I knew I was getting heavy...I knew looking at my friends I was not as small as them...I just did not care and did not want to make the commitment to it until now. Now I am ready...can we go shopping together at the grocery store?"

So my beautiful daughter and I hit the Y...we walked (she ran mostly) for 35 minutes...and my speed was only 2.6 average while hers was 3.3 walking and 4.6 running... and at the end...sweating...she pointed out her calories burned...and was laughing...telling me that hse di not even burn off her breakfast...!:lmao:

Then we hit the grocery store...and we labelled and we shopped and we complained about foods that were a rip off for the amount of calories they had...and she...got it...the pros and cons of food...and the accountability to it...

We are going to strictly be watching calories...it is easier for her and I both...and we are trying glueten free as much as possible...because her docs for her bladder issues had addressed it and think it could only help her by going on a glueten free diet...

We had a blast...and we made supper together...greek salad and we had bacon...no bread...

Carsyn was at a point with diabetes in our family and obesity rampant that she needed to start taking care of herself...

Nancy and others...you are right that I need to lead by example and like I had said also...she needs to be the one wanting to do this for her because none of us one anothers weight issues...but I looked at this as a teaching moment for her...no different than if she had come to me and siad her plan to lose weight was by not eating and becoming anorexic like I did...or if I found out she was bulemic...I want her to be healthy...on her terms...the right way...so at 37 she knows what to do...and that what it takes to be healthy is not some mystery...doesn't mean she is going to be on the same plan as me or same anything...we are totally different...but there are some basic truths to our health that are the same for us all...more water...good foods...and moving more...

Anyway...it was a heartfull day of tears...but she and I really got through a tough bend in the road...I am so greatful today for all of it...because she is a person who needs to be told she doesn't know it all...has been that way since she was born...stong headed and never wrong...(don't know where she got that from? :rolleyes1 )...and her first grade teacher called me to explain that Carsyn was walking a fine line...

She had been doing math...was asking the same question over and over...and when Mrs. W told her she needed to listen to the answers to her question and that Mrs W did not think Carsyn was trying her hardest...

Littlke Carsyn...shut her book..cocked her head at Mrs W and asked...

"Mrs W...can you see in my brain?"
Mrs W said "NO"
Carsyn said, "Then how do you not know I am trying my hardest?"

Then we have 4th grade and Mrs B...who called to let me know that Carsyn...desk a messs and unable to close...had been ordered to stay in during recess to clean it out....Carsyn asked..."what shall I do about all the stuff?"

Mrs. b said, "I do not care ...just make sure you can shut it when we get in."

So they came in...and Mrs B looked in shock at Carsyn...who sat like the Chesire cat...had the row next to the windows...and had stacked her entire mess of a desk...nice and neat along the windowsill...explaining to Mrs B that, "You said you did not care what I did with it."

I laugh at her cause she is so me in so many ways...and this is not an easy fix...and I know we both may struggle with our weight...but it is a start...and I am sooo proud of her...

She was on the phone with friends tonight...directing them to the schools nutrition site...and that is huge...because she now wants to make a difference in others lives...and she made a huge difference in my life today...morethan she will ever know...

Laughing along with you all..and Liz..looove the hair...sexy, svelt and a superstar!
 
What I WANT to say, it I am heartbroken for my new best friend. I am bummed out major and posting nonsense on this thread makes me sad. But none of that crap matters in the end. If nonsense helps you, then I will be the queen of nonense.

Speaking of nonense, isn't this the beginning of a new year. It's the 4th. I haven't exercised once. NOT ONE TIME.

Me too, on the first part. And can I join the BFF train too? Is it like the crazy train? :laughing:

Me either on the exercise. I am taking E's baby steps. :)

Are we going to get a picture? OR at least a color. Lets bet. I'm guessing, Platinum Blond. Oh and what's the skincare routine. You know I'm a product *****.

Kat! Chili recipe.

Chili recipe:
1 large can petite diced tomatoes
1 large can tomato sauce
1 wee can tomato paste
2 cans black beans
1/2 lb 93/7 ground beef (E could substitute a can of some kind of beans here)
2 chopped onions
1 chopped green bell pepper
1 can green chilis
1 jar jalapenos (can skip if you want)
1 Shelby's chili mix kit, only using 1 tbsp of the masa flour. If you want mild chili, omit their red pepper packet
1 tsp sugar
Red pepper, black pepper, to taste

Dump it all in a crock pot and cook on low for 8 hours or so. Could also simmer in a big pot for a few hours, I suppose. Makes about 20 cups, estimating about 2300 cals for the whole recipe, 115 cals per cup, 7 or so g of protein.


The hair color is L'Oreal Feria #67. Rich Auburn. The skin care is Neutrogena's 14 day Skin Rescue. I thought it was time for a new start, both face and hair. Weight is UP so I might as well look good in those sweatpants.

I'm liking the skin care, btw.

I'm planning on breaking up with food tomorrow. Not starving, just not in love anymore. I've been Bella, gorging on Edward's return. Now, I have to realize he's going to be around, so maybe I could see my other friends, water and exercise, too. (I'm at the end of New Moon, can you tell?)

Oh, Emily wanted to know why Mickey was so sad. I told her he lost a friend. She wanted details. Oh, my. How do I explain that Bob died?

Also, she was on Nick's computer and announced she had a shoe problem. He found her on the Cole Hahn website. Good taste, for a four year old.

LOVE LOVE LOVE the hair.

And I broke up with food yesterday. Missing it, but know it's for the best.

Why didn't this quote what I wanted?

Anyway, write a book. I'll tell you if it sucks. Seriously. Give me something new to read. If you have an idea, I can help you make it better.


And omg, cast list. I can't be ignoring all the newbies. You must organize it so I can be their best friends. Right? Though I fear I am already the crazy Twilight fan with the cancer mom. Eh. Any tag works, really. Don't be scared of me newbies! I will love you all, too! Swear!

See what happens when I half-a$$ come back? Crazy girl! Kat - the train is stopping here! choo-choo!

Jumping on! I love that you're back, have missed you lots.

Lyz - Totally dream in Twilight. Have you read fan fic yet? It can be really good.

Aimee - I would SO share the drugs if I had them!

Fan fic!! If you have favs...

Oh my gosh, I completely forgot! I'm cancelling my Y membership and going for the 24 hr place right around the corner. They are even less expensive! And I can visit any of their 3 locations (local folks to boot). Looks like I am going to get over my fear of the 'in shape people' rather quickly. I start up with them in February after my membership is over at the Y.


Wow, you guys are busy, busy. Once again I gotta catch up.

I have found the Y to be really expensive in the past. Sorry if I haven't said hi lately, been totally absorbed, so hi!! :wave:


Paula, how's the soreness level? Getting any better?
 
Lisa - and E - thanks...wrote while you were writing...just wante dto acknowledge everyone again...

It is hard being a mom...esp. when you see your kids doing something destructive...and I thank you all for your input...
 
yipes! Busy evening. I had intended to just post my food, etc...but had a LOT to read!


I have to go back to the Doc this month and I want my insulin levels to be in the normal range. The were at 27 in October and need to be under 19. Still, it's a huge drop from 51 in July.

Wow. Major improvement. Crossing my fingers for you for another "drop"

He tells me that I am coming along faster than he thought I would be which is a good thing and a bad thing. Good in that I am taking well to the program and bad in the who knows what he has in store for me next kind of way.

:scared: Yeah....that can be a little scary! :laughing: Eh. Just look him in the eye and tell him to Bring it on! :goodvibes

Darnit Paula. I want a magic pill.

Me too. Pass the pills, please


Don't we all.... if only I could come up with one for dating as well as one for dieting... I would be rich and would so own DVC points...

:lmao: :lmao:

Oh and Nancy - I like that you are thinking about how your choices might or might not affect your children's thoughts on bodies and weight. I think it is important that we are conscious of what they are seeing regarding food etc.

Thanks. I really do make an effort to not say negative things about my body image. I *know* I'm within a healthy range...just not quite...right..for me. I definitely poke fun at myself...like saying I'm testing the tensile strength of the denim in my jeans...but I so try not to be negative and obsessive...outwardly anyway :rolleyes1


My biggest victory of 2008 was not losing weight. It was not running a half marathon. It came in November. When Cammie said, "Mom, I want to start training with you. I want to run, too." I never mentioned it to her at all. Never suggested it. She just saw me doing it, having success, and decided she wanted to do it, too.

That was simply...beautiful. :lovestruc

Me too, on the first part. And can I join the BFF train too? Is it like the crazy train? :laughing:

Or is it the train to Crazy Town? :confused3 If I recall correctly, Miss Lyz is the mayor of that loony bin :laughing:


K...This is what I set out to do in the first place!

My exercise...nothing "official". Although we did a bit more barn cleaning today :headache: so still at 135/1500 minutes

Food....28 Points...pretty much right on target :thumbsup2
 
Food for today:

B: Coffee
L: cheeseburger w/ a cooking-spray fried egg (350)
D: 2 cups chili (230), large salad (100)
S: 1 pt beer (200?)

Total, 880. Hey, I can have a snack!! Off to find one... :)
 














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