I have to vent! Preschool Halloween parties!

[jrmasm]

I don't get why everyone is on the OP about needing to be more specific, etc.

Direct quote from her original post: "A week ahead, I put on a sign up sheet, asking for ONE sweet snack, ONE salty snack, ONE fruit, plates, and napkins." The only details beyond that she should give is if there is something she definitely does not want brought in, such as cupcakes with icing (for example, my son's kindergarten teacher asked that icing not be brought into the classroom....and every single parent respected that wish).


My kid's preschool used pretty much the exact same type of sign up sheet. Like I said in my previous post, if the sweet snack was already signed up for, it would not even cross my mind to bring an additional one in. And if I wanted to, I would ask the teacher and respect her answer. I believe in respecting the TEACHERS wishes when it comes to things like this. I don't do my own thing just for the sole reason of "because I want to". That kind of attitude is a problem is so many areas in society these days. Don't even get me started on that.

Not everyone thinks the same way. The parents that sent the extra probably thought they were being helpful.

The OP needs to be more specific next time then all this can be avoided.

 

[design_mom]

I don't get why everyone is on the OP about needing to be more specific, etc.

Direct quote from her original post: "A week ahead, I put on a sign up sheet, asking for ONE sweet snack, ONE salty snack, ONE fruit, plates, and napkins." The only details beyond that she should give is if there is something she definitely does not want brought in, such as cupcakes with icing (for example, my son's kindergarten teacher asked that icing not be brought into the classroom....and every single parent respected that wish).

My kid's preschool used pretty much the exact same type of sign up sheet. Like I said in my previous post, if the sweet snack was already signed up for, it would not even cross my mind to bring an additional one in. And if I wanted to, I would ask the teacher and respect her answer. I believe in respecting the TEACHERS wishes when it comes to things like this. I don't do my own thing just for the sole reason of "because I want to". That kind of attitude is a problem is so many areas in society these days. Don't even get me started on that.

I agree that parents shouldn't bring extra stuff *however* the OP was also complaining about their choices. Both sweet snacks met the qualifications she laid out (they weren't cupcakes), but neither were acceptable to her -- the pudding cups were too messy and the cookies were too big.

I am confident that neither of those parents *intended* to make the teacher's life difficult and (aside from bringing more than requested) they didn't ignore the teacher's wishes. I also suspect previous poster who said "they only know their own child's abilities" is probably right. I am sure they thought they brought a cute Halloweeny snack and were darn proud of themselves.

The OP herself has said several times in this thread "unless you've been in charge of 12 two year olds, you don't get it." That's probably true... so tell us *specifically* what we can do to help. Don't make us guess. If she'd requested 1 bag of Oreos, or "12 small cookies (no icing)", there wouldn't be a problem.

 

[tlbwriter]

No I didn't miss that part I just don't get what the big deal is. So what? They are 2 let them have fun and overindulge, you as an adult never do?
They are only little once and the parents only have them little once and it goes by very very quickly let everyone enjoy.

Kids wash! I think too many people forget that.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. You're acting as if the only choices were OVERINDULGENCE or no party at all. I don't see why the party the OP planned wouldn't have been fun for the kids. Why do you have to overdo things in order for them to enjoy themselves? Do you really think those kids would have had less fun without giant sloppy dirt cups? Do you really think it's appropriate to bring food that experts agree should never be served to children that age?

Maybe my kid was different. At age 2 she would have thought one or two special snacks were plenty of fun. Maybe your kids wouldn't have been satisfied with that, and that's why you feel the overindulgence is necessary.

and I think it was very rude to send the food home untouched also, that is a real slap in the face.

I think it was even more rude to ignore the sign up sheet and bring whatever they heck they wanted, so I guess it evens out.

 

[N&B'smom]

When my DS11 and DD7 were in preschool they had similar sign up sheets only they would specify what items they wanted. Sometimes it would specify cupcakes, pretzels - that sort of thing. Other times I remember sending in M&Ms for something they were making, or a container of frosting. Other parents would sign up for the other items necessary for whatever they were doing.

But there wasn't a problem because the list stated specifically what they wanted, it wasn't left up to us.

 

[padams]

No I didn't miss that part I just don't get what the big deal is. So what? They are 2 let them have fun and overindulge, you as an adult never do?
They are only little once and the parents only have them little once and it goes by very very quickly let everyone enjoy.

Kids wash! I think too many people forget that.

and I think it was very rude to send the food home untouched also, that is a real slap in the face.

I bet OP doesn't have children of her own yet.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't get why everyone is on the OP about needing to be more specific, etc.
Direct quote from her original post: "A week ahead, I put on a sign up sheet, asking for ONE sweet snack, ONE salty snack, ONE fruit, plates, and napkins." The only details beyond that she should give is if there is something she definitely does not want brought in, such as cupcakes with icing (for example, my son's kindergarten teacher asked that icing not be brought into the classroom....and every single parent respected that wish).

Because she complained about the sweet snack that was sent in, because she complained about the fruit snack that was sent in. She got a sweet treat (and yes some extras) and she got fruit, so the way I see it, she got exactly what she asked for.

 

[tlbwriter]

Not everyone thinks the same way. The parents that sent the extra probably thought they were being helpful.

The OP needs to be more specific next time then all this can be avoided.

What's more specific than a list that says "This is what we need?" Does she really need to add a statement saying "Please don't bring anything else?" That's basically saying "Well, you didn't tell me NOT to do it!" Would we accept that kind of excuse from our children?

 

[luvsJack]

Was in child care for 12 years. Halloween parties, for some reason, were always the ones the parents went way out for. I suppose because for many its their child's first "school" party. Anyway--here was our solution.

We sent out a note stating what time the party would be and the types of items they could send. And, more specifically, the items they could not send--no whole grapes, no hard candy, only mini cupcakes, etc. We also let them know that some extra items would be sent home in treat bags for each child. And some items (like, say, rice krispie treats) would be kept and used for an extra snack time during the week.

Some of the parents elected to send things specifically for the treat bags going home.

It was a lot less stressful for me just to let the parents go whole-hog (within reason) if they wanted to and made it a lot more fun for the parents.

I figured the party was for their kids and they wanted to be a part of that, so what would it hurt?

Also, a lot of times those "crafty" items--like the dirts and worms or the spider cookies--were things that the parent or grandparent and the child made together. That was definitly something I wanted to encourage and the kids were always really excited to share it with us. Its one day, enjoy it.

 

[luvmy3]

What's more specific than a list that says "This is what we need?" Does she really need to add a statement saying "Please don't bring anything else?" That's basically saying "Well, you didn't tell me NOT to do it!" Would we accept that kind of excuse from our children?

No, but you are ignoring that she also complained about what was brought in on top of how much extar was. If she doesn't want messy dirt cups, then instead of "sweet" put "cookies" on your sheet.

 

[padams]

Was in child care for 12 years. Halloween parties, for some reason, were always the ones the parents went way out for. I suppose because for many its their child's first "school" party. Anyway--here was our solution.

We sent out a note stating what time the party would be and the types of items they could send. And, more specifically, the items they could not send--no whole grapes, no hard candy, only mini cupcakes, etc. We also let them know that some extra items would be sent home in treat bags for each child. And some items (like, say, rice krispie treats) would be kept and used for an extra snack time during the week.

Some of the parents elected to send things specifically for the treat bags going home.

It was a lot less stressful for me just to let the parents go whole-hog (within reason) if they wanted to and made it a lot more fun for the parents.

I figured the party was for their kids and they wanted to be a part of that, so what would it hurt?

Also, a lot of times those "crafty" items--like the dirts and worms or the spider cookies--were things that the parent or grandparent and the child made together. That was definitly something I wanted to encourage and the kids were always really excited to share it with us. Its one day, enjoy it.

 

[jrmasm]

What's more specific than a list that says "This is what we need?" Does she really need to add a statement saying "Please don't bring anything else?" That's basically saying "Well, you didn't tell me NOT to do it!" Would we accept that kind of excuse from our children?

One sweet = dirt cups
One sweet = spider cookies
One sweet = cupcakes

None of these were items the OP desired. And as I said, I suspect the parents that sent extra THOUGHT they were being helpful. I seriously doubt they were trying to tick her off.


Again, people think differently.

 

[scrapquitler]

What's more specific than a list that says "This is what we need?" Does she really need to add a statement saying "Please don't bring anything else?" That's basically saying "Well, you didn't tell me NOT to do it!" Would we accept that kind of excuse from our children?

Because people DID go by the list, which was not specific.

She asked for a sweet snack. OKay, she got two instead of one. But they were 'sweet snacks' (pudding/cookie desert and a holiday type cookie). And she asked for a fruit, and she got Grapes. But she wasn't happy with the pudding or the cookies and she wasn't happy with the grapes. THey fit what she said, but she wasn't happy because she wasn't specific enough.

To solve it:
1 dozen small cookies, no frosting.
1 bunch of grapes, washed and cut in half.

Being that specific would have eliminated the issue.

And as for the issue of extra stuff : People feel guilty if they don't bring something, so you end up with extras. The solution is to either send some home for 'later' with each child or keep the extras for the next day (or next week's) snack. Or put it in the teacher's lounge, or donate it to the local soup kitchen. I

 

[Hannathy]

Was in child care for 12 years. Halloween parties, for some reason, were always the ones the parents went way out for. I suppose because for many its their child's first "school" party. Anyway--here was our solution.

We sent out a note stating what time the party would be and the types of items they could send. And, more specifically, the items they could not send--no whole grapes, no hard candy, only mini cupcakes, etc. We also let them know that some extra items would be sent home in treat bags for each child. And some items (like, say, rice krispie treats) would be kept and used for an extra snack time during the week.

Some of the parents elected to send things specifically for the treat bags going home.

It was a lot less stressful for me just to let the parents go whole-hog (within reason) if they wanted to and made it a lot more fun for the parents.

I figured the party was for their kids and they wanted to be a part of that, so what would it hurt?

Also, a lot of times those "crafty" items--like the dirts and worms or the spider cookies--were things that the parent or grandparent and the child made together. That was definitly something I wanted to encourage and the kids were always really excited to share it with us. Its one day, enjoy it.

This is a wonderful attitude!! I applaud you.

I think teachers often forget some parents only have 1 child, are only going to have 1 child, who will only have 1 preschool Halloween party. There is no next year for them, they aren't going to have 10 yrs of doing the same thing so that it becomes routine or work. They have been waiting for this moment for years and now it comes and you get told no don't bring anything, Mrs Jones is sending a bag of Oreos, don't make those spider cookies you tor out of the magazine 3 yrs ago and can't wait to make. Or they think it is always good to have extra it's a party. How many times have you went empty handed to a party that other people are bringing things to?

 

[Hannathy]

Also did she or anyone else think MAYBE the child wanted to bring those spider cookies in for his friends? Maybe they made them for family and they really wanted to share them with their friends? And Mom thought it was nice they wanted to share and sent them in thinking oh it's a party anyway.And Now has to explains why their cookies weren't shared.

I know mine, especially my DD always wanted to make things to take into school

 

[HelenePA]

our school has the "wellness" policy so sweet treats are kept to a minimum. They say in the letter they send home that they will be able to have some in class the rest will be sent home in a goodie bag.. I sent both stuff for the party at school and stuff for the kids to take home.. I just got home from droping it off.. I was a slacker mom and waited til this morning to go buy it.. plus it would have gotten eaten if I bought it sooner! I also send it more for my dd10 class becuase of her being in lifeskills there are only 7 students in there.. So i sent popcorn, cookies, cheese, crackers, extra candy, and goodie bags.. I have no idea who will bring what so I make sure she has a "good" party if she is the only one bringing stuff... which I'm sure she isn't but they just keep the extras for snacks which is fine with me!

 

[Tinkermommy]

oops, double post

 

[Tinkermommy]

Was in child care for 12 years. Halloween parties, for some reason, were always the ones the parents went way out for. I suppose because for many its their child's first "school" party. Anyway--here was our solution.

We sent out a note stating what time the party would be and the types of items they could send. And, more specifically, the items they could not send--no whole grapes, no hard candy, only mini cupcakes, etc. We also let them know that some extra items would be sent home in treat bags for each child. And some items (like, say, rice krispie treats) would be kept and used for an extra snack time during the week.

Some of the parents elected to send things specifically for the treat bags going home.

It was a lot less stressful for me just to let the parents go whole-hog (within reason) if they wanted to and made it a lot more fun for the parents.

I figured the party was for their kids and they wanted to be a part of that, so what would it hurt?

Also, a lot of times those "crafty" items--like the dirts and worms or the spider cookies--were things that the parent or grandparent and the child made together. That was definitly something I wanted to encourage and the kids were always really excited to share it with us. Its one day, enjoy it.

Honestly, as a parent you can't win these days! There are so many "rules" you have to follow.

NO nuts
NO cupcakes
NO homemade treats
NO unpackaged treats
NO messy snacks
NO dairy
NO gluten
NO dirt and gummi worms

Give us a break! Every school has different and multiple rules!

Yes, I don't know about taking care of 12 little kids, I just know what my one kid likes. Tell us what you want us to bring. We always had a sign up sheet and it seemed to work fine.

I think the other issue is if there are 12 kids then there needs to be 12 items so everyone can bring something, not just the three first parents who sign up. They can bring plates, napkins, water bottles, etc. At this age lots of parents are willing to participate not just a few (like in older grades). So take advantage of it.

And it's a PARTY! Who wants a party with just pretzels and fruit?

 

[tlbwriter]

No, but you are ignoring that she also complained about what was brought in on top of how much extar was. If she doesn't want messy dirt cups, then instead of "sweet" put "cookies" on your sheet.

Yeah, and then somebody here would be complaining that she was micromanaging them... you just can't win!

 

[luvsJack]

This is a wonderful attitude!! I applaud you.

I think teachers often forget some parents only have 1 child, are only going to have 1 child, who will only have 1 preschool Halloween party. There is no next year for them, they aren't going to have 10 yrs of doing the same thing so that it becomes routine or work. They have been waiting for this moment for years and now it comes and you get told no don't bring anything, Mrs Jones is sending a bag of Oreos, don't make those spider cookies you tor out of the magazine 3 yrs ago and can't wait to make. Or they think it is always good to have extra it's a party. How many times have you went empty handed to a party that other people are bringing things to?

This is exactly why we did things the way we did. Because the parents were just so excited about their child's first little party. And for working mom's this is a way for them to be a part of their child's day. Its important to them.

If there were certain things that we found to be a real problem, it went on the "do not bring" list the next year but no one ever seemed to mind and found plenty of other stuff to bring.

Parents would send in sandwiches cut with holiday cookie cutters, one parent had pizza delivered, for a Christmas party one year a parent made these little mice out of cherries covered in chocolate--too cute!(we sent them one home with each child in a little baggy so the other parents could see.

One parent would send a huge cookie tray for whichever holiday and then a fruit/veggie tray for the staff. And, yes, these parents started doing this stuff when their child was two and continued until they left to go to public school.

We loved it, the parents loved it and the kids loved it--so where is the downside? The kids always got a huge kick out of knowing that everyone got some of whatever little treat they brought.

 

[tlbwriter]

One sweet = dirt cups
One sweet = spider cookies
One sweet = cupcakes

None of these were items the OP desired. And as I said, I suspect the parents that sent extra THOUGHT they were being helpful. I seriously doubt they were trying to tick her off.

There was a sign up sheet that asked for ONE parent to bring a sweet. One parent signed up to bring the sweet. Two parents saw that someone else had signed up and said "Oh, I'll bring something anyway." To me, that's not helpful. The fact that they probably weren't deliberately trying to tick her off is irrelevant - they didn't use common sense. If their 2-yr-olds followed directions so poorly, they'd probably get a time out!