I have to vent! Preschool Halloween parties!

[tlbwriter]

I'm also one of "those" moms.. I send what I want for the party.. which will include 3 school parties tomorrow

You send what you want, even if there was a sign-up sheet and someone else already signed up for the item you wanted to bring?

OP, I understand and completely agree with you. Bringing whole large grapes for a group of barely 2 yr olds is just plain thoughtless IMHO. And no, I do NOT subscribe to the "it's a party, so let's fill them full of <insert parent's pet snack here>" way of thinking. Every time we had those parties in preschool or grade school the kids just had TOO MUCH JUNK. Most of it wasn't eaten. Much of it ended up on clothes or on the floor or in hair. I think your plan (one sweet snack, one non-sweet snack) was perfect, and I would have been completely annoyed (as a parent, much less a teacher) at those who felt your party needed to be done THEIR way.

 

[simba20]

Because of this, that is why I am the parent that bucks the party norm. At DD's pre-school, I know the other parents will be bringing in cookies, candy, and other sweets, so I always sign up to bring finger sandwiches, orange wedges, or pigs-in-a-blanket. Give my daughter some protien, please.

However for tomorrow's party I am making mini-pumpkin muffins with a tiny squirt of cream cheese frosting on top. The muffins are pretty healthy and there's just a small dab of icing, because usually that's all the kids will eat off of cupcakes.

Oh, and DD started dance this year (she is 3) and on Saturday her dance school/class is having a party. Pigs-in-a-blanket (cocktail weenies wrapped in a part of a cresent roll) is what I've signed up to bring.

Yes, I AM that mom*.

*the mini muffins are somethign I've been wanting to do for a year now. Gives me an excuse to make pumpkin bread.

 

[Nolcrest]

Op, I totally agree with you. Our pre-school class also had a party with too much junk. I did have a specific sign-up sheet with various items and no one signed-up for the fruit and veggies or dip I asked for. However they did bring in jumbo choc cookies and ice cream that I didn't ask for.

It's one of those things that unless you're responsible for a class of little ones you just don't get it. I would NEVER give whole grapes to a 2 yr old either.

I may take the advice of asking for parent volunteers for our next party and I wonder if it will be a help or a hinderance.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

I would have an issue with the pretzels. Were NAEYC accredited and not allowed to serve pretzels. The grapes are against the rules too. There considered a choking hazard. i would chop up the gummy worms too but thats just me.

 

[LuLuO]

Do you have other holiday parties during the year, and if so do the parents know that? Maybe the parents want to participate but if they knew they would have a chance later on they would wait until then, kwim?

I guess the only way to get the snacks you want is to specify, i.e. cut up grapes, etc.

My daughter's preschool teacher is very specific when it comes to party foods. She makes the menu and asks for volunteers to bring in each item, down the the spoons and napkins.

 

[bluesaturn]

First of all, most people are unaware of how easy it is for a small child to choke. You have been educated in child development, most parents haven't. I know everybody on the DIS knows not to give a toddler a full grape, but there are good parents out there who just don't. So it might be a good idea to make clear the expectations regarding safe and dangerous foods. I'm sure parents who don't know would appreciate the information.

Second, some people come from cultures (or families) where you just provide more food than necessary. Providing food is a very emotional thing for some people. So I'm sure those parents didn't bring extra snacks to annoy you, they thought it would be helpful. When I bring food to an event I always try to bring a little more than absolutely needed, because I don't ever want someone to go without. A little irrational, I know, but I can't help it. You see what 12 2 year olds eat on a daily basis but these parents don't, and it can be hard to estimate.

As far as bringing junk, who cares it's a party. It happens a couple times a year max. Like you said, you do the party right before the leave so you aren't dealing with the after effects anyway.

 

[marcyinPA]

Because of this, that is why I am the parent that bucks the party norm. At DD's pre-school, I know the other parents will be bringing in cookies, candy, and other sweets, so I always sign up to bring finger sandwiches, orange wedges, or pigs-in-a-blanket. Give my daughter some protien, please.

However for tomorrow's party I am making mini-pumpkin muffins with a tiny squirt of cream cheese frosting on top. The muffins are pretty healthy and there's just a small dab of icing, because usually that's all the kids will eat off of cupcakes.

Oh, and DD started dance this year (she is 3) and on Saturday her dance school/class is having a party. Pigs-in-a-blanket (cocktail weenies wrapped in a part of a cresent roll) is what I've signed up to bring.

Yes, I AM that mom*.

*the mini muffins are somethign I've been wanting to do for a year now. Gives me an excuse to make pumpkin bread.

I have no problem with the mini muffins, and really, no problem with the dab of icing. The problem I have is with the store bought cupcakes with the insane amount of icing piled on the top. The kids just lick off the icing, and crumble the cupcake everywhere. They are a mess.

One year, we did have a mom who bought those HUGE specially decorated cookies from the grocery store...the sugar cookies shaped like Santa with all of the details piped with gobs of frosting...RED and BLACK frosting. UGH...The kids barely ate them....their hands were smeared with the icing. I had one child who wanted to eat it but would only do so if I held the cookie for him. Sorry, kiddo, no can do! I understand why the mom thought they were cute...because they WERE cute! But they were much better suited for at home consumption. Seriously, some of the kids needed to be bathed after those cookies! What would have been better, and a lot more practical, are those Pillsbury cookies with the pictures baked into them. Small in size, fun to look at, easy to eat.

I'm beginning to think that this issue is something that only a preschool teacher can appreciate!

 

[zoemurr]

we didn't ask for anything.. we'll probably just have goldfish.

We did have a family party last weekend though, so the parents could monitor the sugar.

I hate serving kids tons of junk food. I have cut cupcakes in half or given each kid 2 small spoonfulls of ice cream. None of them have ever complained. If the dirt cups were big I would have split them. For 2yr olds the worms would probably have been cut up or gone. Next year I think you should just ask for donut holes and cider.

I have often cut grapes for my 3year olds. I love when parents bring fruit (our parents rotate who brings snack) but I'm not sure when they think I have time to cut 200 grapes or 10 apples.

I'm also amazed at the Yoo-hoo that came in.. yuck. They only get a tiny snack and then go home and eat lunch.

I don't think you're being a party pooper.. you wanted to have a fun little party that turned into an hour of clean up.

 

[GJM]

I never had a problem with my DS at 2 having junk food for a party. At his daycare the teacher would put up a sheet of the items she needed for a party.

My DS went to the same daycare for 5 years, he did K in that school, so there were many parties! Sometimes nobody would sign up for anything, and I would always bring in the extra.

I think it is great that parents did contribute what they did. If you couldn't give the cookies to the kids could you have shared them with the staff in the school.

 

[marcyinPA]

First of all, most people are unaware of how easy it is for a small child to choke. You have been educated in child development, most parents haven't. I know everybody on the DIS knows not to give a toddler a full grape, but there are good parents out there who just don't. So it might be a good idea to make clear the expectations regarding safe and dangerous foods. I'm sure parents who don't know would appreciate the information.

Second, some people come from cultures (or families) where you just provide more food than necessary. Providing food is a very emotional thing for some people. So I'm sure those parents didn't bring extra snacks to annoy you, they thought it would be helpful. When I bring food to an event I always try to bring a little more than absolutely needed, because I don't ever want someone to go without. A little irrational, I know, but I can't help it. You see what 12 2 year olds eat on a daily basis but these parents don't, and it can be hard to estimate.

As far as bringing junk, who cares it's a party. It happens a couple times a year max. Like you said, you do the party right before the leave so you aren't dealing with the after effects anyway.

Really? Most people don't know how easy it is for a 2 year old to choke? I really find that hard to believe. My kids' pediatricians gave me that info when they were starting to eat table food. It's in books, on-line, magazines....

The parent who brought the grapes in happens to be a nurse. I know she didn't expect me to cut the grapes, because this is the third child of hers that we've had in class, and she KNOWS how busy and hectic our room is. I think that her son probably started eating them whole because of his older siblings, and by the grace of God, he has not choked. And hopefully he won't. But the risk is still there, and not one that I'm willing to take with children who are not my own.

 

[zoemurr]

As far as bringing junk, who cares it's a party. It happens a couple times a year max. Like you said, you do the party right before the leave so you aren't dealing with the after effects anyway.

about OP's class but I have 21 kids. They all celebrate their birthday. Then add in Halloween, Christmas, Easter, pjday, and Mother's Day, graduation.. (and they only meet 3x a week) so that's a lot of parties and potential junk.. and hours of clean-up.

We have told our parents only mini-cupcakes or other small treats.

I actually had a heated argument last year with a parent who wanted to give each kid a HUGE cupcake and a bag of chips for her DD's birthday. I said no way, and that I would send the chips home. She was very angry, and finally I said they could all have a chip or two but not the whole bag. I was floored when it was over and she looked at me and said, "Well, I really brought too much food didn't I?"

 

[gina2000]

Well, I taught preschool Sunday school and the day of the Easter party a child almost choked to death. He stuffed so much food into his mouth without swallowing that he turned a lovely shade of puce. It was the most frightening experience of my life. I was a volunteer who had limited heimlich experience and luckily managed to dislodge whatever was in his throat.

I quit the next day.

Quite frankly, every child in that room had a plateful of goodies, all donated with love. It almost ended in disaster. The experience taught me one important thing....never allow a small child unlimited food on a plate, especially if the child is one of a larger group. It's almost impossible to keep track of each child and how much he is consuming. The mess is secondary, quite frankly.

 

[marcyinPA]

we didn't ask for anything.. we'll probably just have goldfish.

We did have a family party last weekend though, so the parents could monitor the sugar.

I hate serving kids tons of junk food. I have cut cupcakes in half or given each kid 2 small spoonfulls of ice cream. None of them have ever complained. If the dirt cups were big I would have split them. For 2yr olds the worms would probably have been cut up or gone. Next year I think you should just ask for donut holes and cider.

I have often cut grapes for my 3year olds. I love when parents bring fruit (our parents rotate who brings snack) but I'm not sure when they think I have time to cut 200 grapes or 10 apples.

I'm also amazed at the Yoo-hoo that came in.. yuck. They only get a tiny snack and then go home and eat lunch.

I don't think you're being a party pooper.. you wanted to have a fun little party that turned into an hour of clean up.

Good idea! I wish I had thought of that. I thought they were huge for a little kid! Like the size you'd get in a restaurant.

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, I taught preschool Sunday school and the day of the Easter party a child almost choked to death. He stuffed so much food into his mouth without swallowing that he turned a lovely shade of puce. It was the most frightening experience of my life. I was a volunteer who had limited heimlich experience and luckily managed to dislodge whatever was in his throat.

I quit the next day.

Quite frankly, every child in that room had a plateful of goodies, all donated with love. It almost ended in disaster. The experience taught me one important thing....never allow a small child unlimited food on a plate, especially if the child is one of a larger group. It's almost impossible to keep track of each child and how much he is consuming. The mess is secondary, quite frankly.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's very frightening. I learned the hard way that one of our children this year "stuffs" as well. His mom neglected to tell me that he can only have one or two pieces at a time. His twin sister does the same, but she hasn't tried it with us. So now we have to watch those two like a hawk. Besides them, we have one will multiple allergies who likes to snatch food from other children, and then the normal two year olds who are up and down from the snack table because they have the attention span of a flea. (I say this with great love and a sense of humor...)

I respect the viewpoints of many of the posters on this thread, but I think it is safe to say that they have no idea what it is like to be in charge of 12 or 21 or however many children, all of the same age, but with varying levels of ability.

 

[scrapquitler]

My co-teacher and I have considered eliminating sign ups and just bringing the party food ourselves from now on, but that would really upset parents!

That would probably be the easiest way to deal with it.

The other option is for you to not announce a 'party' and then call one or two parents and ask them to bring a specific thing for snack on such and such a day. "Mrs. X, would you please bring one bag of pretzels on Friday?" Mrs. Jones, could you please send in enough orange wedges for each child to have ONE?"

If you are in a situation where the parents send too much stuff in, send a couple cookies or whatever home with each child. Then Grandma who spent a lot of time decorating them won't feel like you are rejecting them.

 

[Magpie]

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's very frightening. I learned the hard way that one of our children this year "stuffs" as well. His mom neglected to tell me that he can only have one or two pieces at a time. His twin sister does the same, but she hasn't tried it with us. So now we have to watch those two like a hawk. Besides them, we have one will multiple allergies who likes to snatch food from other children, and then the normal two year olds who are up and down from the snack table because they have the attention span of a flea. (I say this with great love and a sense of humor...)

I respect the viewpoints of many of the posters on this thread, but I think it is safe to say that they have no idea what it is like to be in charge of 12 or 21 or however many children, all of the same age, but with varying levels of ability.

One of mine was a "choker" at that age. I never inflicted him on a caregiver, but I did take him to a drop-in. The kid could choke on a goldfish!

I actually got fairly relaxed about it, over time. Several times I had to fend off parents who wanted to jump in with the Heimlich. "No, he's still breathing. Don't touch him!" Eventually he got a hang of the whole "eating solid food" thing, but it took awhile. I think he finally stopped choking on food when he was four.

My hero? That was a dad with a wee tiny girl. She managed to get a piece of fruit wedged in her throat. Without even pausing he turned her over his arm with her head lower than her legs and smacked her right between the shoulder blades. The fruit shot out, and he set her back on her feet. She continued eating as if nothing had happened, while he drank his entire coffee in one big gulp.

Gina2000 - I'm so sorry you had that experience! Your Leader should have prepared you better. I swear, little kids are out to kill themselves and it's all we can do to thwart their evil plans.

 

[gina2000]

Ha! Prepared? The nun in charge walked over and told me that the other children shouldn't have to experience the child's choking. She started to shepherd him off to the women's room and let him choke in there. Luckily, at that point he had already upchucked a huge amount of food and was breathing.

 

[Magpie]

Ha! Prepared? The nun in charge walked over and told me that the other children shouldn't have to experience the child's choking. She started to shepherd him off to the women's room and let him choke in there. Luckily, at that point he had already upchucked a huge amount of food and was breathing.

Oh wow, that's awful! I understand completely why you quit.

I've taught in my church's Sunday School, through a few different directors, and no matter who was in charge no one would have behaved like that - or they wouldn't be working with children again!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You know I was thinking about this thread and there is one thing that does irk me a bit about school parties. Of course this only seems to happen in preschool - When parents want to celebrate their child's birthday in school (which I think is great) but instead of just sending in a small treat they make it a huge event. I have seen parents bring in theme cups, plates, napkins, party hats, goody bags etc. If you want your child to have a birthday party then pony up and throw one! I have no issue with my child singing happy birthday at snack time and having a treat but I am not sending my child to school so they can be at a party all day for your child! So there is my thought for what it is worth. I always feel bad for the teachers when they get a parent like that.

 

[simba20]

I'm beginning to think that this issue is something that only a preschool teacher can appreciate!

When I was pregnant with DD, I was treated as a borderline Gestational diabetic. I had to watch what I ate, and it caused me, over time, to change my eating habits. Once DD, started solids, I made her own baby food, and simply decided that she didn't need to eat that crap.

However, because she gets little of that stuff at home, I do relent when it comes to a school party or birthday party -- it's not like I'm going to tell another mother at a birthday party "You know, you should really serve more healthy stuff for the kiddos....."

At DD's birthday parties, I get accused of going all out and making too much, but there are family members who attend who can't eat x, y, and z have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. So I make lots to give people options. Typical fare includes: hot dogs/hamburger/veggie burgers/baked beans/pasta salad (loaded with crisp veggies)/fruit salad and then the cake and ice cream. DD will usually eat 1/2 hot dog (no bun), pasta salad, pickle, and fruit. Later we let her enjoy the cake and ice cream. Tonight we went out to eat and our waitress was awestruck when DD(3) ordered herself a house salad and baked potato with cheese. She listened as DD repeated her order and then said "Is that what she really wants?" She expected DD, like most kids, to eat chicken nuggets or mac-n-cheese. Nope, I've raised a good eater (although we do allow her to eat chicken nuggets when out).

I allow balance. I am not opposed to having snacks and sweets in the house. The past two weeks we've had Halloween candy to nibble on, so she gets some candy after dinner. I do keep things like cereal bars (Nutri-Grain), gummy fruit snacks, and goldfish crackers around. I keep a snack basket in a lower cabinet that DD can get stuff at will. You woul dthink that she would just eat and eat since she has access to it, but most of the time she just takes one snack.

Anyway, when it comes to daycare parties, because I know that cookies, chips, cupcakes, and such will be served I usually make something with some protein for balance. This year, I am an exception.