I have to vent! Preschool Halloween parties!

[luvmy3]

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's very frightening. I learned the hard way that one of our children this year "stuffs" as well. His mom neglected to tell me that he can only have one or two pieces at a time. His twin sister does the same, but she hasn't tried it with us. So now we have to watch those two like a hawk. Besides them, we have one will multiple allergies who likes to snatch food from other children, and then the normal two year olds who are up and down from the snack table because they have the attention span of a flea. (I say this with great love and a sense of humor...)

I respect the viewpoints of many of the posters on this thread, but I think it is safe to say that they have no idea what it is like to be in charge of 12 or 21 or however many children, all of the same age, but with varying levels of ability.

To be frank, if you feel this way about your parents as well then you should be more specific on your sign up sheets and newsletter. List what will be allowed and not allowed, don't leave it up to them to interpret your vague requests. You never know what others think of low key, salty, etc and it won't always be what you mean by it.
When my kids were in pre-K the sign up sheet was hung on the bulletin board and if there was something that wasn't supposed to be brought in, it said on the sheet "please do not send in x,y,z we don't need it for this party, in a nice way of course (maybe because they had issues like yours in the past). Also, every item requested was listed like 12 apples, chocolate cookies, little water bottles, etc. As far as I know parents pretty much stuck to what was asked for, and didn't bring in extra or different things.

ETA, this may not work this year but its something you could do in the future, you could ask for "room moms" and for those who sign up, assign a party to them and ask them to bring in specific items for that party. Hopefully you would have enough moms sign up to cover all the different parties. That way other parents wouldn't be inclined to just bring something in if there was no sign up sheet requesting stuff. We did this in my ds's K and 1st grade class and it worked well, but we had a lot of moms sign up so it was possible.

 

[disfan07]

Personally, I dont see what the big deal is.

AT our preschool, we dont do halloween either. We do Fall celebration. Well, for our 2 year olds we ended up with popsicles, worms in dirt (preschool FAVORTIE....but we send the worms home in a little plastic bag....we dont let the 2 year olds eat them....we let the 3 and 4 year olds eat them), cookies, donuts, brownies, etc.

It's one day. We do limit what we give them. Like we dont give them a free for all. We put everything on the plate and that is all they get. So for that one we did 1/2 brownie, 1 cookie, 1 munchkin donut, a spoonful of dirt (it was a large bowl of worms in dirt) and than saved the popsicles for afternoon snack.

The kids loved it and we had so much fun. We do the same thing for July 4th at camp, Hanukkah party (its a Jewish preschool), Spring celebration and end of the year party.

We have to cut up the fruit that we normally have for ancks anyway (apples, grapes, bananas, etc) so thats not a big deal for us.

I respect the viewpoints of many of the posters on this thread, but I think it is safe to say that they have no idea what it is like to be in charge of 12 or 21 or however many children, all of the same age, but with varying levels of ability.

This was a group of 17 2 year olds with 3 adults. We were able to keep an eye on all of them so yes I do have an understanding about having that many kids at once and personally, we never had an issue with it so in my eyes, not a huge deal.

 

[lillygator]

love them....sad for op.

 

[torinsmom]

OP, I totally get it. If I were you, I would ask certain parents to bring in plates, napkins, cups and juice, and I would be providing the party food. Mini muffins, a few small cookies, some fruit and goldfish with some juice would be plenty for the kids. I can't imagine the mess cleaning up from the dirt pudding alone!

Maybe the parents could bring in "treats" instead and the kids could use crayons to color paper bags to collect their treats?

I can't believe someone brought in whole grapes for 2 year olds! If you want to do that at home when you have ONE 2 year old to watch, so be it, but when there are TWELVE 2 year olds and only 2 teachers, that is not safe.

When I worked with 3 year olds, we had several kids choke on those during lunch. We had a child choke so bad on a hot dog that he was totally gray. Nothing was working, so I picked him up and ran towards the hallway. I guess the jostling worked the hotdog loose.

 

[bluesaturn]

Really? Most people don't know how easy it is for a 2 year old to choke? I really find that hard to believe. My kids' pediatricians gave me that info when they were starting to eat table food. It's in books, on-line, magazines....

The parent who brought the grapes in happens to be a nurse. I know she didn't expect me to cut the grapes, because this is the third child of hers that we've had in class, and she KNOWS how busy and hectic our room is. I think that her son probably started eating them whole because of his older siblings, and by the grace of God, he has not choked. And hopefully he won't. But the risk is still there, and not one that I'm willing to take with children who are not my own.

Yeah, they probably don't realize how easy it for a young child to choke. You cited an example right there. That mom obviously didn't want kids to choke on grapes, but she still brought them in so she must have not realized how dangerous that was. I'm sure parents worry when they first start their kids on solids, but then the kid handles a couple hot dogs and grapes and the parent relaxes and thinks it's okay.

I respect the viewpoints of many of the posters on this thread, but I think it is safe to say that they have no idea what it is like to be in charge of 12 or 21 or however many children, all of the same age, but with varying levels of ability.

Of course they don't, and neither do most parents. Just like you or I wouldn't know what's it's like to do a variety of other jobs that seem like common sense to the people that work in them. I think next time you should just spell out what you want because most people do not realize how much harder it is to have 12 2 year olds rather than one 2 year old.
Even people who work with kids might have different opinions. I worked in a 2 year old room before and we didn't have this issue with parties because the school provided the snacks.

 

[jenrose66]

Sorry, but I'm just going to spill it!

I'm a preschool teacher in the 2's class. Every year, we have a little Halloween party. LITTLE. I always stress to the parents that we try to keep it low-key. We don't dress up in costume, but we have "orange and black day" and most of our little ones come in some sort of Halloween shirt/outfit. CUTE.

A week ahead, I put on a sign up sheet, asking for ONE sweet snack, ONE salty snack, ONE fruit, plates, and napkins. They are TWO, so they don't each much. Three items on the plate=plenty. We have asked from the start of the school year that they don't bring cupcakes for any celebrations, because they just don't eat them.

OK...so TODAY. One parent brought worms in dirt and spider cookies made from oreo cakesters. Does this parent really let her 2 year old eat four inch long gummy worms?? One parent brought Dunkin munchkins. One parent brought whole grapes and one brought apples. And one brought pretzels.

So we should have had three food items, and we had SIX.

The worms in dirt were a MESS. Chocolate everywhere. We sent the spider cookies back home. Grandma was offended. Oh well.

The grapes are being saved for tomorrow so I had some time to cut them. I never gave my 2 year olds whole grapes (and these were pretty large).

The Dunkin Munchkins are being saved for tomorrow too. Thankfully the mom who brought them was understanding.

What really blows my mind though is are parents REALLY ok with their little ones eating so much junk?? And why would they bring so much, knowing that a lot of it gets thrown out?

My co-teacher and I have considered eliminating sign ups and just bringing the party food ourselves from now on, but that would really upset parents!

I guess we can't win.

Vent over. Thanks.

I appreciate that you would not let the 2 year olds eat whole grapes and gummy worms...that's a choking hazard and would make me nervous. My DS is 4 and I still halve his grapes, the 21 month old gets his cut in quarters.

 

[*JoGo*]

Preschool teacher here....
our youngest class is 3yr olds.

The way we do our parties:
We provide the snack served at the Fall Celebration. This yr our director bought donut holes, yogurt covered pretzels, and apple juice. The 3yr olds got 1 donut hole and 3 pretzels.


If parents want to send something in for the celebration, it is sent home with the kids. Same w/ Xmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter. Sometimes a class will have lots of treats, and sometimes a class will only have 1 or 2. Just depends on the parents. Usually a note is sent home, saying we're having our fall (or whatever) celebration on "X" day, you may send in a treat to be sent home with your child's classmates, there are X amt of kids in this class" - that way the treats are individually wrapped.

Birthdays - I HATE cupcakes and huge frosting covered cookies. The MESS! UGH!!! The handbook states no cupcakes, and if a parent asks for a suggestion, we say No Cupcakes - it's a massive mess. But we STILL have people bring them in.

 

[torinsmom]

Preschool teacher here....
our youngest class is 3yr olds.

The way we do our parties:
We provide the snack served at the Fall Celebration. This yr our director bought donut holes, yogurt covered pretzels, and apple juice. The 3yr olds got 1 donut hole and 3 pretzels.


If parents want to send something in for the celebration, it is sent home with the kids. Same w/ Xmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter. Sometimes a class will have lots of treats, and sometimes a class will only have 1 or 2. Just depends on the parents. Usually a note is sent home, saying we're having our fall (or whatever) celebration on "X" day, you may send in a treat to be sent home with your child's classmates, there are X amt of kids in this class" - that way the treats are individually wrapped.

Birthdays - I HATE cupcakes and huge frosting covered cookies. The MESS! UGH!!! The handbook states no cupcakes, and if a parent asks for a suggestion, we say No Cupcakes - it's a massive mess. But we STILL have people bring them in.

We told a parent no cupcakes one year, so she brought in.......chocolate covered donuts! Talk about messy!

Just a funny about being really specific on the sign up sheet. We had a potluck at my old school and had items listed, like vegetable, dessert, etc. Then we had "bread" listed. One year, we got a loaf of sandwich bread. Next year, we listed it as "rolls" and got hot dog rolls. The following years, I just brought the rolls, LOL

 

[RadioFanatic]

My son is 2 and a 1/2 and he had his party yesterday too. Our list was the opposite - all fruit/cheese and nothing fun. so I asked first, and brought store bought sugar cookies in pumpkin color/shape. Does my son eat that stuff usually? no way (and never wants it anyway, thank goodness) - but for a party that happens once in a great while, why not?

oh, and at my school, the grapes would have had to come in whole bc everything needs to be store bought (no homemade) and prepackaged. Once time, it was my job to bring in strawberries. I thought I was doing the teacher a favor by preslicing them for her. I had to take them back bc they need them to be prepackaged (which they were before I cut them!)

 

[RadioFanatic]

Eh, never mind. At least my co-teacher and I agree with each other.

Not having ever been in my class of two's, you have no idea what kind of kids I'm working with this year. They are a challenging bunch, with some special needs not being met by anyone yet because it takes so long to get evaluated and into the system.

Two of the children didn't know how to use a spoon. With two teachers, 12 kids, and no aides, it was pretty crazy. No, we couldn't feed them, and no, there was no time to cut grapes.

I'll get past it...it was just a very stressful "party"....

wow, pa allows 6 kids per teacher? in ny it's only 5 - and I know one more kid can make a difference. our list was

goldfish
fruit
cheese stick
graham crackers
juice boxes
napkins
plates

I brought in napkins and plates and got permission to bring cookies.

 

[AmberHeartsDisney]

when we had partys it was healthy snacks only and ONE junk food. The staff made the junk part so the parents didnt have the worry about that. i worked at a day care. We had 40 3-4 year olds in my room

 

[MichelleVW]

Personally, I dont see what the big deal is.

.

I don't see the big deal either. I work in a really nice daycare and the have a color party every month. They have an insane amount of junk and sweets. We sugar them up and send them home! Yes, it's messy and can be stressful but we also have a bunch of junk food left over in the kitchen for the teachers!

 

[Mkrop]

I dont get it either. It is a party. Be more specific then. I think having a variety is great sometimes kids are picky or have allergies and they get to feel apart of things if they can eat something.

And I think it was incredibly rude to send the Oreo spiders home. That is what baggies are for. Our teachers ask for baggies(two sizes) at the begininng of the year in case anything needs to be sent home. Bag them up and them send them home with the students.

At our school each family is assigned one party to attend and one item, salty/healthy, sweet, juice or small water bottles, and paper products. I have been going to these for what seems forever and it seems to work.

Plus remember a lot of these parents, it is their first kid and they are totally hyped up themselves to make the perfect party treat, they are still in their Martha Stewart phase . Once the parent has a few parties and kids under their belt, the novelty wears off. Also they are only little for so long and then they dont have the parties to make things fun.

 

[jodifla]

Not everybody is an expert on 2-year-olds...they just know their own 2-year- old. So be specific on the signup sheet so people know what you want.

Secondly, it's a PARTY, which by definition to me means TREATS. I think you need to lighten up and enjoy these kids and roll with the punches a bit.

 

[mrssmee]

As a former preschool teacher and first grade teacher, and as a parent that has been through many preschool years with my kids, I am in total agreement with the OP.

If a teacher puts up a sign up sheet for a party, I personally think it is inconsiderate for parents to bring in items that were not on the sheet, or that someone else signed up for. Maybe the parents did not realize they were being inconsiderate. But in my opinion, they were.

As a parent, there were times I really wanted to make a cute cookie recipe, etc for a class party and then found that cookies were already signed up for...so I just dealt with it and signed up for something else. Not a big deal. And if the sign up sheet was full and I could not bring anything, it was not the end of the world.

As for the grapes... there is no excuse for a parent to not know that things like grapes and hot dogs are choking hazards. That information is everywhere. You'd really have to have your head buried in the dirt to not know that. And if your pediatrician never informed you, then you should start looking for a new doctor.

And for the poster who said they let their toddler eat whole grapes because they can handle it....there is no such thing as a toddler who can handle a whole grape if it gets sucked down their windpipe. The issue is not whether a child can handle a certain food...it is the type of food. It is the shape of grapes and hot dogs that is the problem. If a grape gets down the tiny windpipe of a young child, it is not coming out regardless of what you do. If they choke on a goldfish, you can probably get that up. But not a grape. Maybe I am just sensitive to this because I have a neighbor who watched helplessly as her three year old daughter choked to death on a whole grape in the backseat of their car. A three year old who had always "handled" whole grapes just fine until that day.

 

[tlbwriter]

Secondly, it's a PARTY, which by definition to me means TREATS. I think you need to lighten up and enjoy these kids and roll with the punches a bit.

Did you miss the part that says she did plan for treats? The parents simply went into overkill mode. It was supposed to be a party, not a PARTY PARTY:PARTY

 

[Hannathy]

Did you miss the part that says she did plan for treats? The parents simply went into overkill mode. It was supposed to be a party, not a PARTY PARTY:PARTY

No I didn't miss that part I just don't get what the big deal is. So what? They are 2 let them have fun and overindulge, you as an adult never do?
They are only little once and the parents only have them little once and it goes by very very quickly let everyone enjoy.

Kids wash! I think too many people forget that.

and I think it was very rude to send the food home untouched also, that is a real slap in the face.

 

[MichelleVW]

No I didn't miss that part I just don't get what the big deal is. So what? They are 2 let them have fun and overindulge, you as an adult never do?
They are only little once and the parents only have them little once and it goes by very very quickly let everyone enjoy.

Kids wash! I think too many people forget that.

and I think it was very rude to send the food home untouched also, that is a real slap in the face.

Totally agree!

 

[mrssmee]

I don't get why everyone is on the OP about needing to be more specific, etc.

Direct quote from her original post: "A week ahead, I put on a sign up sheet, asking for ONE sweet snack, ONE salty snack, ONE fruit, plates, and napkins." The only details beyond that she should give is if there is something she definitely does not want brought in, such as cupcakes with icing (for example, my son's kindergarten teacher asked that icing not be brought into the classroom....and every single parent respected that wish).


My kid's preschool used pretty much the exact same type of sign up sheet. Like I said in my previous post, if the sweet snack was already signed up for, it would not even cross my mind to bring an additional one in. And if I wanted to, I would ask the teacher and respect her answer. I believe in respecting the TEACHERS wishes when it comes to things like this. I don't do my own thing just for the sole reason of "because I want to". That kind of attitude is a problem is so many areas in society these days. Don't even get me started on that.

 

[mrssmee]

and I think it was very rude to send the food home untouched also, that is a real slap in the face.

I disagree. It was rude to bring in a snack that was not signed up for without asking for permission from the teacher. The teacher planned ahead by having a sign up sheet. If parents brought additional food that was not eaten or wanted, it is not the teachers fault.

But that being said, perhaps a better action would have been to wrap up the cookies and send them home with the kids to enjoy at a later time. But...there is not always time for teachers to do things like that, especially on party days which can be hectic. Or the cookies could have been put in the teacher lounge.