How fast it all changed.

[Cheetie]

Prayers for peace and strength for all of you.

 

[Dentam]

I just found your thread last night. Life really can change so quickly. I am so sorry, cancer is just awful. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Low-key's thoughts are right on the mark, rodeo. There are miracles, for sure. Along your husband's journey, he and all of you are in my prayers.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

I'm so sorry to read about your day yesterday. I hope that today is the start of an upward trend, and that there are many more good days in the upcoming months. You and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Just stopping by to let you know I was thinking of you and just said a prayer for your family.

 

[rodeo65]

Ok, I need to stop saying worst day ever. Apparently the universe is determined to prove me wrong. I was at the hospital where the palliative nurse and social worker came to visit us. His latest blood work from yesterday showed marked deterioration since three weeks ago. She said she can see the changes in his face. He has "that look." She said she never says never but is not hopeful that he will even regain the strength to have chemo. His is very aggressive.

So the morning consisted of discussions about hospice care and assisted end of life. Which I had no idea was even legal here but learned that yep, legal for terminal diagnoses. He does not want that route, but we will be meeting at the start of the week to see if he has improved at all; if he might like to try home again, which he doesn't seem to, if he wants hospice or if he needs to remain in hospital. He seemed to like the way the hospice house sounded and seems to be trying to reduce the burden on me. I said he needs to be where he feels best.

He gave me everything I need to shut down his business. We discussed what arrangements he wanted, which we have never really had a serious discussion about. He is choosing cremation. I honestly cannot believe all of this. I can't believe the speed. Twenty three days ago he went in thinking he had a back issue or maybe appendix.

I have to go back soon because his mother, who he has been estranged from for decades is on her way with his brother who is not altogether stable. When their dad was dying four years ago, they had to call the police bc he assaulted one of the doctors. I've alerted the hospital to that and they said security will be available should we need it. DH doesn't even want his brother there but his mom doesn't drive and that's who is bringing her.

 

[runwad]

I don't know about Canada but the Hospice my dad was in was wonderful. We loved it and they made my dad so comfortable, he was miserable in the hospital.

We didn't do any additional treatments on my dad because we opted for quality of life instead of quantity. We didn't want to see him suffer needlessly. As it was we had a good month with my dad and a lot of good memories.

Again my prayers are with you and your family and I hope you all have some good days to make and cherish memories.

 

[Iya]

Ok, I need to stop saying worst day ever. Apparently the universe is determined to prove me wrong. I was at the hospital where the palliative nurse and social worker came to visit us. His latest blood work from yesterday showed marked deterioration since three weeks ago. She said she can see the changes in his face. He has "that look." She said she never says never but is not hopeful that he will even regain the strength to have chemo. His is very aggressive.

So the morning consisted of discussions about hospice care and assisted end of life. Which I had no idea was even legal here but learned that yep, legal for terminal diagnoses. He does not want that route, but we will be meeting at the start of the week to see if he has improved at all; if he might like to try home again, which he doesn't seem to, if he wants hospice or if he needs to remain in hospital. He seemed to like the way the hospice house sounded and seems to be trying to reduce the burden on me. I said he needs to be where he feels best.

He gave me everything I need to shut down his business. We discussed what arrangements he wanted, which we have never really had a serious discussion about. He is choosing cremation. I honestly cannot believe all of this. I can't believe the speed. Twenty three days ago he went in thinking he had a back issue or maybe appendix.

I have to go back soon because his mother, who he has been estranged from for decades is on her way with his brother who is not altogether stable. When their dad was dying four years ago, they had to call the police bc he assaulted one of the doctors. I've alerted the hospital to that and they said security will be available should we need it. DH doesn't even want his brother there but his mom doesn't drive and that's who is bringing her.

I'm so sorry, rodeo. Such a shock for all of you. Know there are people out there in the world hoping for the best for all of you. Do you have someone there helping you cope? You mentioned your brother earlier, is he still available?

 

[gillep]

 

[Dentam]

I'm so sorry. A friend of mine passed away 8 days after being diagnosed with esophageal cancer a couple of months ago. He also wasn't strong enough to even start chemo. It is really hard to wrap your mind around it all when it happens that quickly. But I tell myself that at least he didn't suffer for long. Small consolation, I know.

 

[Southernmiss]

God love you all and wrap you in his tender care.

 

[wgeo]

Rodeo I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can say is that I am thinking of you and your family. It is incredible what you are going through. I do hope this thread helps you be able to process through some of what is happening, it is a good idea for you to have somewhere that you can express your emotions and yet still be somewhat private while doing so. You seem like a very strong person to me.

 

[mefordis]

Rodeo you seem so strong. There's nothing anyone can say to bring comfort but maybe knowing you have so many people thinking of you and praying for you can bring you a measure of comfort.

 

[focusondisney]

Rodeo, I am in awe of your strength. Although I know you are probably just putting one foot in front of the other at this point. I can not even imagine what you are going through. I also hope your family will be there for you, not just now, but after too. When you don’t have all these tasks to do & it just all stops. You will need them to help hold you up then too. Because you will be entitled to a melt down for sure.

I am not vocal about prayer & spirituality, but I pray for peace & strength for you all.

 

[sk!mom]

I too am in awe of your strength.

I will offer my support, as well, to your decisions regarding your children. When my DH was in treatment, my kids were 26 and 15. I was completely honest with both of them and then let them process as needed. DD15 seemed to find solace in school. It was probably the normalcy of it as home was falling a part a bit. Her teachers were wonderful and supportive. DS26 was an invaluable help to us.

I'm praying for you all. May you have the strength for each challenge.

 

[Minnesota!]

The medication is hydromorphone. Administered intravenously, it is about 7X stronger than intravenous morphine, and 20X stronger than oral morphine. It is the standard opiate given for acute pancreatic pain, and even that is sometimes not enough.

I am very sorry to hear your news.

I lost my father to lung cancer when I was 12, and because of that I'm going to say something that sort of flies in the face of the usual advice not to let cancer change your children's routine more than necessary. Only you know your kids and your husband well enough to know what to do, but be aware of this truth: you can always catch up on schoolwork, but you can never catch up on time with a parent who passes young. I was the youngest and the only one still in school when my Dad was diagnosed. My mother threw the truancy rules out the window, and for the rest of Dad's life, whenever he had a good day I spent it with him instead of in school. That was over 40 years ago, and I am still profoundly grateful to her for it.

YES YES YES YES YES! Man, I would give ANYTHING to spend another minute with my dad...

Ok, I need to stop saying worst day ever. Apparently the universe is determined to prove me wrong. I was at the hospital where the palliative nurse and social worker came to visit us. His latest blood work from yesterday showed marked deterioration since three weeks ago. She said she can see the changes in his face. He has "that look." She said she never says never but is not hopeful that he will even regain the strength to have chemo. His is very aggressive.

So the morning consisted of discussions about hospice care and assisted end of life. Which I had no idea was even legal here but learned that yep, legal for terminal diagnoses. He does not want that route, but we will be meeting at the start of the week to see if he has improved at all; if he might like to try home again, which he doesn't seem to, if he wants hospice or if he needs to remain in hospital. He seemed to like the way the hospice house sounded and seems to be trying to reduce the burden on me. I said he needs to be where he feels best.

He gave me everything I need to shut down his business. We discussed what arrangements he wanted, which we have never really had a serious discussion about. He is choosing cremation. I honestly cannot believe all of this. I can't believe the speed. Twenty three days ago he went in thinking he had a back issue or maybe appendix.

I have to go back soon because his mother, who he has been estranged from for decades is on her way with his brother who is not altogether stable. When their dad was dying four years ago, they had to call the police bc he assaulted one of the doctors. I've alerted the hospital to that and they said security will be available should we need it. DH doesn't even want his brother there but his mom doesn't drive and that's who is bringing her.

I have no words. I just am in shock. Know that I am sending you strength and light from the frozen tundra..

 

[Feralpeg]

My heart breaks for you. I will continue to say prayers for your family.

 

[Kitty 34]

Rodeo, I haven't posted in awhile but have been reading all your posts and everyone else's posts. You are in my thoughts all the time. I know you are just an "internet" person but your life struggles with your DH couldn't be more real. Again, sending you the most positive thoughts for all you and your family.

 

[mousefan73]

Prayng for strengh and peace. You have a long road ahead. I think the fact you are opening up your heart and soul here to us, is a good sign you will be strong and will be ok. Being able to talk about things is good theraphy. When weak , come back and we will try to support you with our words. I pray especially for your husband. I hope they get him a good pain plan and allow quality time as long as it can last.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I am heartbroken for you and your family. Please know you are in my prayers as you go through this.