It's super expensive now! Well, luckily FA paid for the majority of my schooling and I only needed to pull out a loan of about $6000 which I paid off very quickly. DH on the other hand...
I think had my parents paid for my entire education, I wouldn't think the way I do today. I don't think I would have understood how much 'real life' costs, if that makes sense. I certainly wouldn't understand the value of a buck. They didn't pay for their education either (even though my dad's side of the family is very wealthy and could have easily paid off 4 years of education in one check, they chose not to.)
Before going to college, I literally thought money grew out of my backyard. But when I got to college and started paying on my own, I was like, "Woah. I really can't play around right now." I started making wiser decisions regarding money, and became even MORE thankful, when my parents would help out buying some books.
Would it have been easier had my parents and my husbands parents paid for all of our education? ABSOLUTELY! Man we'd have $800 to play with each month!
However, i'm not sure we would have the knowledge of money/saving/paying bills like we do now.
We DEFINITELY will help our kids in anyway possible during college and would never let them fall behind (I just KNOW i'm going to be a sucker and slip a few extra hundred or two into their pockets every now and then to make doubly sure they're okay
).
I see two separate issues here:
1. It's important to teach a child the value of a dollar well before college.
Kids are capable of starting to grasp financial facts about the time they start school. I clearly remember an early lesson with my then 6-7 year old daughter: We were at the movies, and she wanted a tube of M&M minis, which cost $1.50 at that point. I gave her $2 and told her she could have the tube NOW . . . or she could save her $2 until after the movie, and we'd go to the grocery store where she could buy THREE tubes with her $2. She questioned how this could be, and she was suspicious that I was wrong, but the lure of
three candies was strong. It was one of the first times she grasped that wise choices could make your money go farther.
Since then she's had plenty of other similiar experiences, and when she heads out to college next fall she'll be going with some idea of what "real life" costs. I've put lots of effort into preparing her, and although she will occasionally mess up and although she'll need to hone her skills, she's ready.
What won't work, however, is waiting 'til the child's 17-18 and assuming that making them responsible for college will suddenly teach them to manage money. Sink or swim has never been a good idea.
2. Paying for college.
This is a huge expense, but it's not really the same as teaching a child about money. The biggest reason is that students who "pay their own way" tend to do it with loans. Loans are easy to get, and although they might give the college student an occasional "this is hanging over my head" pang, they can easily have a feel of unreality. They don't teach college kids the value of a dollar -- that lesson comes
after college when the paying back begins. I know quite a few students who are taking out loans, yet they don't work during the summer; I can't help thinking "they don't get it".
You could divide those two topics into "Teach your child while he's still in your house" and "Reinforce those lessons once he's out of your house". Or "Under 18" and "Young adult".
I'm sure that the best road is a middle-of-the-road approach: I'll pay for these expenses, and you're responsible for those expenses. Ideally, "those expenses" should be high enough for the student to pay via a job, but not so much that they will need to take out loans. Assigning the student a portion of the college bill reinforces the same financial lessons about which you're concerned, but doesn't burden the student with loans later.
First of all, unless they get a stellar scholarship, I expect DD's to go to one of the wonderful in-state universities we have in CA. Not that they are cheap, but certainly more reasonable than the private schools.
Yeah, we're big supporters of our public university system. We have 16 universities, which vary widely in size and prestige, so there's something right for almost every student. In contrast, we have a few extraordinary private schools (with some extraordinary price tags and admissions requirements) and a whole lot of private schools that're substandard academically. Those schools tend to attract students who can't get into the state schools. We visited one middle-of-the-road private last summer (it had a
two-story library -- can you imagine?), and my daughter declared that she wouldn't attend even if they gave her a full ride. I didn't dislike it
quite as much as she did, but I would rather pay for my daughter to attend a public than see her go to that private for free. Realistically, with the things that appear to be falling in line for her, it's looking like we're going to be able to send her to her first-choice state school for about 4-6K/whole year, and I'm very satisfied with that.
