Guests paying for dinner at the wedding? Update pg7

[barrett7890]

Yes. I talked to the mother of the bride and the situation is that guests are expected to pay $70 a person. Why they didn't state that on the invitation is beyond me.

how will that even work?? if it's not on the invites no one will be prepared and you can guarantee people will refuse to pay! i know i would....going somewhere knowing you're paying for the meal is one thing.

cami
x

 

[Shannon G]

Yes. I talked to the mother of the bride and the situation is that guests are expected to pay $70 a person. Why they didn't state that on the invitation is beyond me. So our family of five would have to pay $350 + gift. There WILL be other families with kids at the wedding but unfortanatly I told ther that we have another engagement and we just can't attend

It simply amazes me what some people apparently think is in good taste...so how are they going to handle this, if they haven't stated it on the invitation? Send bills around to each table after dinner? I think they're going to end up with a great many ticked off guests....

 

[marybet]

Are you sure that your mom's neighbor wasn't referring to a monetary gift when she mentioned that your kids had to pay?

I was always taught that a monetary wedding gift should be at least enough to pay for your meals at the reception. For example - if its my wife and I at a $70 a plate reception, we would give a gift of at least $140. We usually give more, but we were always told that the minimum should be enought to cover the reception meal.

Anyway - my point is that maybe the neighbor was hinting that you could bring the kids if you gave a "gift" that at least paid for their meals.

This is not true. First, you really shouldn't know what the per plate cost is. And you give the gift based on what you can afford, not what it cost the couple to have you there.

 

[dis4me]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I hope no one shows up to this wedding so the bride and groom can see they are crazy. On top of that I am sure you are expected to bring a gift. Could you imagine the nerve of some people. Are you supposed to send in your check with the reply????
How are people supposed to know that they have to pay? I never bring my checkbook or a lot of money to weddings.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Yes. I talked to the mother of the bride and the situation is that guests are expected to pay $70 a person. Why they didn't state that on the invitation is beyond me. So our family of five would have to pay $350 + gift. There WILL be other families with kids at the wedding but unfortanatly I told ther that we have another engagement and we just can't attend

That is truly unbelievable...

 

[leahannpen]

You have GOT to be KIDDING me? What a JOKE! There's NO way on God's green earth I'd go to a wedding I was "invited" to and PAY!!!

 

[laurie31]

I am agog!

When these people have kids and have birthday parties for them, will they expect the party guests to chip in to pay for the birthday cake and party supplies?

A wedding is meant to be a joyful event shared with family and friends, not a profit-making venture.

Laurie

 

[Lisa F]

Yes. I talked to the mother of the bride and the situation is that guests are expected to pay $70 a person. Why they didn't state that on the invitation is beyond me. So our family of five would have to pay $350 + gift. There WILL be other families with kids at the wedding but unfortanatly I told ther that we have another engagement and we just can't attend

It sounds like they don't want you to come and made up this crazy story to get you to stay home. Regardless of this clarification I just cannot imagine how logistics of getting people to pay for their meal without telling them first would work out when there is nowhere in this country where this is the norm.

 

[dcgrumpy]

That doesn't make any sense. If it's not on the invitation how will anyone know? . Maybe the mother of the bride is confused.

When I go to a wedding I bring enough cash to tip the bartender and the valet, that's it.

 

[MamaLema]

It simply amazes me what some people apparently think is in good taste...so how are they going to handle this, if they haven't stated it on the invitation? Send bills around to each table after dinner? I think they're going to end up with a great many ticked off guests....

I know. I'm just lucky I got myself out of this. I think I would faint if I got the bill for dinner

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

UNBELIEVABLE. I am in complete shock, I guess there is a first time for everything.

 

[4cruisin]

I am not surprised at anything now-a-days. I have actually heard of a bridal shower being thrown by the bride's family and the attendees were charged to attend. The money did not go to the bride, the mother of the bride used it to pay for the shower!!! There is no way in heck I would ever attend a wedding, bday party, shower etc (other than a genuine fund-raiser) where I am expected to pay. What are these people thinking? If you can't afford to entertain, don't. It is just rude and trashy to expect people to underwite your party.

 

[denisem]

MamaLema - is your mother still going to the wedding?

I'd be interested to see how this train-wreck of a wedding turns out...

 

[lulugirl]

Wow, now I've heard it all......

 

[darrose]

I think to have kids or not at a wedding is up to the bride and groom.
However, I am lucky that all the weddings that we have been invited to have included my kids. My kids have always enjoyed the weddings and receptions they have went to. All the weddings we have attended have been beautiful weddings and receptions. It is common with relatives and friends that I know to have children at weddings. (Thank heavens!!)

 

[stinkerbelle]

Wow, now I've heard it all......

I'm sure there will be more to come in life that will shock you. heheh

I really want to meet the genius in that family that said "I know! We'll CHARGE OUR GUESTS! Yeah! That's a GREAT idea!"


I honestly don't even know how to respond to this...the bride needs to be directed, asap, to theknot.com...let them crucify her there.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I still think there's some confusion here. Most people are just going to mail in their rsvp. You only called because of the issue with the kids. When they mail in their rsvp they won't know anything about this. How many people are going to come to the wedding prepared to pay for their dinner. None I would guess. When they eat, dance, give an expensive present, etc is the mother of the bride going to stand up and say... excuse me, you all need to pay for your dinners now. I don't really think so.
I can understand if they had written on the invitation, if you choose to join us for dinner it will be at your expense. Then people could make their own decision.
I think you are getting misinformed. I'd call the bride or check with some other folks who are going to this wedding. I really think you are mistaken here because there is no way it could be handled after people eat. They'll be standing at the hall collecting 150 people's $70. saying to the server presenting the bill, "Wait we didn't get the money from 15 people yet?" Or, sorry, we're short $300., some folks didn't bring their credit cards? No that couldn't happen, really.

 

[momof2inPA]

Tell your mom to let the bride's mom know that most people are not aware of the custom of paying for one's own wedding meal. I personally would laugh and leave if someone handed me a bill at a wedding reception that was not my own or my child's.

 

[WilmaBud]

There still has to be a misunderstanding. You have to put quite a large deposit down for a wedding, and there's no way any caterer would go along with this scenario. Either the mother is confused, or she's trying to get you not to attend, IMO.

 

[momof2inPA]

I am also from Toronto, I have attended both a portagese and an asian wedding where each quest was expected to place an amount equal to the cost of the dinner in an envelope to be giving into a wishing well for the bride and groom. A gift was also expected. I know that expected seems like the wrong word, but that is the feeling that was spread, by members of the family and wedding party.

PEnny

This must be the scenario that is occurring for the OP's friend's wedding. Must be a cultural thing.