Guests paying for dinner at the wedding? Update pg7

[Dakota_Lynn]

I have seen some interesting things on the Dis before, but nothing quite like this. This has got to be the most bizarre story I've ever heard! I can't even imagine being invited to a wedding, attending the wedding with my daughter and partner, and being handed a bill for $210!

I think I know what this is all about. This plan is meant to reduce all stress for the couple. Friends sometimes come between newlywed couples. A wife may not like her hubby's drinking pals and hubbies sometimes find women to be too gossipy. The idea of making them pay $70 a plate with no warning is to end all potential issues of friends causing problems for the new couple because they won't have any left after they are handed that bill and told to pay!

I'm guessing this plan will also solve problems with relatives who overstay their welcome, nagging mother-in-laws, that cousin who always wants you to babysit and the unemployed brother that always needs to borrow a $20. Ten to one, the new couple won't see any of them after this wedding! No friend-stress and no family-stress and sure as hell no financial stress! All that will be left is the bride, the groom, the moron who concocted this plan and a whole lot of cash.

 

[CheshireVal]

That really is crazy. If you can't afford a plated dinner reception for your wedding, then don't have one at all!

I couldn't justify the expense at my recent wedding, so we had a cake and champagne reception that seemed to keep everyone happy!

 

[PhotobearSam]

If I went to this wedding, I would be so embarrassed at not having enough $ to pay for supper...Even for DH and I. I don't bring $140 to a wedding. We only usually have paying bars at weddings here and that is bad enough.


I had a sit down for 125 people and we paid then there was snacks and cake as well as sandwhiches later on...We paid for everything. It's not common for sit-down suppers here but we had out of towners because my DH is from another province...I could not let people go around hungry.


I would never expect people to pay to eat at my wedding....WRONG...


My cousin had a wedding and a meal at an Inn afterwards and we all had to pay our own but we knew it ahead of time and it was just family so we could let everyone know. They were not rich and this was ok with my family but not FRIENDS who would not have known that they needed to pay...NEVER.

These people must live under a rock.

 

[wfloyd]

Regardless of who pays for it or not, $70 a plate should provide a whole bunch of expensive food (not the grilled chicken or pork dish) and not the normal portions that usually are served.

DW and I put on the invitations that no children were invited because we didn't want them yelling or screaming when they shouldn't have. There may have been people that didn't show up because of it but we didn't have anyone disobey our wishes either.

 

[Caradana]

This can't possibly be true, for the pragmatic reasons that were pointed out by Tiggeroo on the last page. I'd bet that the OP is embarrassed that she tried to call and invite her kids, so now this is the update we're getting: "I'm not the bad guy, they're the bad guys." I can see where she might be embarrassed and this is the defensive response. But in the Ann Landers tradition, if a story doesn't make sense, it's because it isn't true.

 

[cinmell]

I want to hear about the reaction of the guests when they find out they are supposed to pay for their meals!

 

[barbeml]

If the guests don't have enough money on them, will they have to wash the dishes?

This is unreal.

 

[frndshpcptn]

"

"

I am doing an event for a client here in New York at an Ian Schrager hotel next week. 2 hours, basic food, no bar, no sit down and the cost is $68 a person w/o tax and service charge.

 

[Beth76]

I'd bet that the OP is embarrassed that she tried to call and invite her kids, so now this is the update we're getting: "I'm not the bad guy, they're the bad guys."

I disagree. I think most people just assumed that the kids weren't invited because the OP called. I don't think she was trying to get her kids invited when they weren't. She was just trying to clarify that they were (or weren't). That's nothing to be embarrassed about.

As to the guests paying themselves, I agree that the MOB must not understand what's going on or they are completely tactless and stupid. The caterers would already have to be paid by the bride or MOB, so the guests would have to be paying them. They won't be able to accept credit cards, only cash or checks. Not many people would bring that much cash to a wedding, without knowing they would have to pay. And I can't imagine too many happy guests when they find out they have to pay $70 per plate. I can tell you if this happened to me I would walk out and take the wedding gift with me, never speaking to the bride again. This has nothing but DISASTER written all over it.

 

[Jennifer S]

With my wedding we had to pay the whole bill a week before the wedding so I would assume there would be no washing dishes and really there is no way you can make a guest pay. Like someone else said you bring enough to tip the bartender. I would never bring enugh $ to pay in the first place. The bride will probably end up mad that all her guest didn't pay for her wedding. Oh well it's her fault.

Please tell us what happens after the wedding. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they all get asked to pay.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Hey, I have an idea...my son's Bar Mitzvah is Nov 2006, think I can make my guests pay? Afterall, some people didn't give a nice enough gift for my older son and daughter for their Bat and Bar. Of course some people were generous, but I don't know that it evened out. I think that I'll have everyone contribute the cost of the caterer (we have a modest party in our home, so they won't even have to big of a bill). Should I tack something on for the 6 months of Hebrew tutoring? I mean, someone should pay besides me!



I really thought that I'd seen and heard it all, but this takes the cake, excuse the pun! What nerve. It's bad enough doing it, but I'm also wondering how they are going to pull it off. Do you know any mutual friends that can tell you or is your mother still going? Wow! I am sitting here shaking my head.

T&B

 

[stinkerbelle]

I really thought that I'd seen and heard it all, but this takes the cake, excuse the pun!

Cake costs $3.50 extra

 

[MamaLema]

MamaLema - is your mother still going to the wedding?

I'd be interested to see how this train-wreck of a wedding turns out...

Yes, my mom is going. God love her but she is the kind of person that would pay the money just so there won't be tension between neighbors.

 

[Joanne M]

I am throwing a party at my house this weekend. You are all invited! Oh, and can you bring all the food and beverages while you are at it? And can some of you stick around to clean up afterward?

Miss Manners would have an absolute field day over the idea of throwing a fundraiser in place of a wedding reception! You don't host a party in order to extort money from your guests. I hope we get an update after the big event.....

 

[MamaLema]

This can't possibly be true, for the pragmatic reasons that were pointed out by Tiggeroo on the last page. I'd bet that the OP is embarrassed that she tried to call and invite her kids, so now this is the update we're getting: "I'm not the bad guy, they're the bad guys." I can see where she might be embarrassed and this is the defensive response. But in the Ann Landers tradition, if a story doesn't make sense, it's because it isn't true.

You can believe what you want. But if I was going to make up a story, I could think of better things

 

[phorsenuf]

I say we send $70 to MamaLema so she can go just so we can find out what happens when all the guests find out they are expected to pay! LOL

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Yes, my mom is going. God love her but she is the kind of person that would pay the money just so there won't be tension between neighbors.

Well if they are really charging $70 per guest, your mom will be one of very few people who show up I think...

 

[Tine731]

Well, I know you are not going to like this, but it is considered rude to "invite" your kids to an event. If the host/hostess wanted them there they would have asked them in the first place. Since they were not on the inviation and you "know" they will be the only kids, the assumption is the bride/groom don't want kids there and that includes yours.

Ditto!!!

 

[Beth76]

I say we send $70 to MamaLema so she can go just so we can find out what happens when all the guests find out they are expected to pay! LOL

I'll chip in!!

 

[MamaLema]

Just posting and letting y'all know this is my last post on this thread. I can't believe something simple and petty got so out of hand. And people accusing me of inviting my kids to the wedding? I didn't, so if you are going to bash, at least know the facts.