Geriatric MM Warriors June 13, 2010

He's in the hospital in San Francisco. Had a very late night CT scan to see where the infection is contained. Morning will find us knowing if they will treat bedside or have to do surgery. IV antibiotics in the meantime. His sister lives there so she met us at the hospital. I'm driving back and forth. In the amount of time I would drive to a hotel in horrible traffic in the dark and watch a bad movie while listening to loud neighbors, I can be home. We had to leave in too much of a hurry for me to pack what I would have needed anyway. Work, dog, everything else is too much. We took Bonnie to the kennel and left town as soon as I talked to the doctor. Please keep praying that this clears up easily. :littleangel:
 
Lisa - I'm glad you were able to go home. Being in your own home brings a little bit of comfort. I'm continuing to pray. :hug:
 
Everything is looking better. They made an incision and packed it to drain. The scan shows the infection didn't travel to other areas. It was a very significant amount of infection, though. He'll be in the hospital til Friday. I'll pick J-P up at the airport here and then we'll head down to break Tom out. The best news was that they did a CT scan last night to assess the infection. When they read the scan they didn't see any cancer on either side of the pelvic areas where it was before. Yippee! We still have to wait for the full body scan in a week or so, but this was a really good sign.:littleangel:
 
Yay!!!! So happy for you and Tom! Thank God it didn't travel anywhere. That sounds very promising that they didn't see any cancer. I know you will be so happy to have JP home and to get Tom outta there!! :cool1:
 

Lisa - I woke up thinking about you this morning. You get to get J-P today! And bring Tom home! And you can good news from the scan! I am sure your heart is much lighter. As I said on FB, you are in my thoughts. I know that we have former true friendships on this board and have established that we don't need to meet face-to-face to do that. BUT, we need to meet soon! When things settle down for you, let's make a plan.

Diana - your post was too cute. I have been so busy with work and busy with cases that make me cranky. Brad says that my friends come home with me - Grumpa (as in "grumpy") and Tudie (as in "attitudie"). He says it with a smile and a hug (you can imagine how lucky I am). I'm not able to see it as clearly as he does until it is gone. I settled a difficult case on Wednesday and was amazed at the shift in my outlook yesterday. I did some reflecting. Doing what I do (divorce lawyer) means that I rescue and take care of people. The ones are the hardest are the ones where my clients are so fragile - at least I feel responsible for do that even though my rational brain knows that that is NOT my job. That was the situation in the case I settled this week. My client was in an abusive marriage for five years. She is so broken/beaten/battered emotionally. It hurts my heart. And, of course, I can't really rescue her....

xoxoxo to everyone - where ever you are!
 
These are the kind of shopping deals that I like! To celebrate my better view on life yesterday, Demi and I stopped in at the Macy's sale before going out to dinner. I got two pairs of boots (regularly $99 each) and Demi got one pair (regularly $89). With tax, the total for all three pairs was $73.00! Brad says I should go back and buy more (another reason I am so lucky - he puts up with my moods and encourages me to shop! :banana:).
 
Hi Kate - Missed you! I'm happy that you're 'tude is gone. Brad sounds like such a sweetheart. No wonder you're going to keep him - when is the date? :bride:
I disagree with you - you did save that client. You saved her from a disastrous situation. I know that my divorce lawyer was like my knight in shining armor. He was so great during a time when I was falling apart. His office has since moved to one of the main roads where I pass every so often. Every time I pass by I blow a kiss in that direction. So whether you want to believe it or not - you have saved her.
Now, about those boots........... ;) I should go to Macy's tonight. I really need a pair.

Lisa - Hope your trip to SF goes well.
I'm praying for all those people in Japan and also that it doesn't hurt any of my friends in CA and Hawaii.
 
Hi guys. Was here the other day when Lisa cried out for help, but my post never posted.
Please know I think of each of you everyday with a prayer or two.

Lisa, I am so glad they were able to contain the infection and get it drained. Great news on the CT scan as well! I will continue to send prayers for his whole body scan when he has it. It seems as though you caught this infection before it got too bad, thank God.

Diane, still sending prayers for your job. I know when Mike finally got hired by Halliburton, he was down to his last week of unemployment. There still aren't any jobs around PA. :(

Kate, great deal on the boots!! I need some retail therapy pretty badly lately, but it will have to go onto the back burner for a while. Too much money going out this month already.

Robin, if your here, but not posting, hope your doing well too.

Been a really rough couple weeks around here. Last Monday, Rich's partner died unexpectedly. He was Rich's main care taker. So Tris has been going to Pittsburgh all week to stay with him, and Carrie goes on the weekends. Last week, Tris was commuting everyday, leaving in the morning, and going back in the evening to stay all night with him. It was pretty hard on her, and this week, she just stayed there all week. We all talked to him, and he's coming back here and staying with Tris and Levi so we all can help care for him. He looks like a poster man for 3rd world hunger. I knew he'd look bad, but seeing him really made this all real to me. I just worry about all the extra stress and Tristan's pregnancy. She is doing ok, but I still worry especially with the miscarriage and her having to use the progesterone. Her appointments have been going well, and a week ago they got to hear the heartbeat!!

Then Carrie's car blew up about a month ago, and she was using my car. About 2 weeks ago, it blew up. We were in the process of buying another used car, and when we got it, it quit running. It was our neighbor's mom's car, which sat in her garage for the past 3 years. I used to clean for her, so I do know it's been in the garage not being used all those years. So while that vehicle was being worked on, the exhaust on the van went. Managed to get that welded back into place without much hassle. Then when we were at Lowes getting a washing machine (ya, our washer went too) the power steering went out on the truck. Thankfully we still had a back up car and the van to use. So, we went from having (including the new car we got and Carrie's) 6 vehicles to 2 in a matter of a few weeks. The "new" car is fixed and I am using it, and Mike is using the van until his truck is fixed. I have been trying very hard to remain positive through this all, but it is very difficult. Haven't been doing the EFT, but still trying to think positive thoughts.

Ok, that's everything in a quick nutshell for you all. I'll try to get back here as much as I can. I'll be helping Tris take care of her dad, so not too sure what is going to happen in the aspect of my working evenings. I may have to push my offices to the weekends. I don't really want to do that, but it may be a necessity.

I'll try to catch up later with you all. Sending you all love and hugs. :grouphug:
 
Hi Kate - Missed you! I'm happy that you're 'tude is gone. Brad sounds like such a sweetheart. No wonder you're going to keep him - when is the date? :bride:
I disagree with you - you did save that client. You saved her from a disastrous situation. I know that my divorce lawyer was like my knight in shining armor. He was so great during a time when I was falling apart. His office has since moved to one of the main roads where I pass every so often. Every time I pass by I blow a kiss in that direction. So whether you want to believe it or not - you have saved her.
Now, about those boots........... ;) I should go to Macy's tonight. I really need a pair.

Lisa - Hope your trip to SF goes well.
I'm praying for all those people in Japan and also that it doesn't hurt any of my friends in CA and Hawaii.

Diane - the wedding date is Sept 10. Thank you for your comments. It took me years to really get over my divorce. And, our actual divorce was easy. I can't imagine how difficult it would be if a "messy" divorce was added to an already difficult situation. My ex did something last summer that made me realize that I was still angry - it was a good/god thing because I got to look at it and let it go. Finally. I so mature that I "de-friended" him on FB. I did that in the moment and got some pleasure out of it - at chuckle anyway.

I had to make myself NOT go back to Macy's. A girl just really can't justify more than two pairs of boots....
 
Kathy - could anything else go wrong? How many days are left in this month? You need a do-over month - I am hope April is that month for you. Keeping you in my thoughts.

A high school friend of mine lives in Tokoyo. He and his family are fine. He posted pictures on FB of their kitchen - everything was broken and on the ground. He said that the biggest concern for them is the radiation fallout. He also says they aren't getting clear information about it - too much concern about not wanting people to panic. The store shelves are empty. Power blackouts are planned because of the shortage of energy.

Lisa - I hope you and yours are back home and basking in each other.

Robin - where/how are you?
 
OMG, Kathy! That is too much to handle all at once. May I ask what took Rick's partner so quickly? Did he have family to step in to handle things? The timing was just so very awful. So sorry about all the stress with the cars, too. Tris sounds like an amazing young woman. I'm sure she will be fine in her pregnancy. I do hope she is taking the necessary time for herself, though.

Kathy, you are coming full circle in your willingness to help Rick and Tris in his time of transition. I know your spirit will be gifted by your generosity and you will find that you have healed through your grace. I am in awe of you.

Kate: Brad sounds so amazing! He and Tom have a lot in common. Brad knows retail so he knows how important that is to us, lol! Awesome deals on the boots! I love a good deal on shoes for sure! That's hard to top.

I agree we should try to meet soon! Jocelyn is going to be back in San Andreas on or about May 8, which I believe is Mother's Day, but maybe that coming week we could all meet up?? If not, I'd still like to meet you sometime soon. Somehow I see us talking over tea or walking on the beach with the dogs. Looking for sea glass!

Diane: I sure hope you hear about a job very soon. Did the snow melt? At least you'll be all ready for your snowshoes next season. How's Owen? Is he well now?

We had quite a hectic day yesterday. J-P's been working on a big website for a huge cheese company from WI. His deadline was 2 days before his birthday, but the client wanted changes so it went over. He worked 100 hours each week for two weeks, including staying up all night on his birthday, the night before I picked him up. Last week he got vertigo from exhaustion and was on the floor so dizzy he couldn't stand up without vomiting, which happened repeatedly. I think it was like those Japanese kids that vomited when video games that had too much flash first came out. He had looked at too many images without any sleep.

So I woke up at 6 am to call him to get him going toward the airport. Then I came down for a cup of coffee, turned on the TV and the big headline across the bottom said,"Tsunami San Francisco". Of course, I found out soon enough about Japan and that they were reporting from SF and talking about what could happen there. I wasn't worried about Tom because he was on the 13th floor of the hospital, but I was a bit concerned about the traffic and the fact that the route down there goes along right near the bay at sea level. OK, got that handled. Went upstairs to take a shower and got a text from J-P. Bring a bucket, I think I'm going to throw up. And a pillow and blanket. I knew for sure I shouldn't take him from the airport to SF with me so I took Bonnie, picked up J-P, who thankfully was just exhausted and not vomiting. Brought them both back home and left again for SF. Meanwhile my SIL volunteered to pick Tom up and bring him halfway, which was a huge, huge help. We were all so wrung out last night!

Tom had a bedside 'operation' where they sliced him open and packed the hematoma. With a local shot, he still had to hang on to the bars it hurt so bad. It has to drain and heal from the inside out so he has to pack it himself twice a day with a big q tip and a roll of gauze. Gross! He says it's really hard to hurt yourself like that. A home nurse is coming tomorrow. When he found out they assigned him a home care nurse he got all excited. I think he thinks she will be Swedish or something, lol!:lmao:

We started my first step in my rock polisher with all of my Oregon agates last Sunday before all the drama around here. Today we opened it to change to the finer grit. You tumble each step for about a week. They already look so pretty! I'm really excited. It's going to be a fun hobby for us.

We're still waiting for the kid to wake up so we can take him and Bonnie to a park by the river for some frisbee and a leisurely walk. Tom is feeling so much better, even though his leg is tired.

Things are lookin' up!

Have a wonderful weekend and love to all!:grouphug:
 
Diane - the wedding date is Sept 10. Thank you for your comments. It took me years to really get over my divorce. And, our actual divorce was easy. I can't imagine how difficult it would be if a "messy" divorce was added to an already difficult situation. My ex did something last summer that made me realize that I was still angry - it was a good/god thing because I got to look at it and let it go. Finally. I so mature that I "de-friended" him on FB. I did that in the moment and got some pleasure out of it - at chuckle anyway.

I can relate to what you're saying about the divorce. It has taken me 10 years to really get over mine. Considering he wouldn't sign the divorce papers until Carrie turned 19 and he no longer had to pay child support. So, he and I split up in '01 and got divorced in '10! I have spent so much time being angry with him. I guess I just don't have anymore anger left, thankfully.
He and I haven't communicated at all until Tris got married. So that was a good 7-8 years!!


I had to make myself NOT go back to Macy's. A girl just really can't justify more than two pairs of boots....[/QUOTE]

I could justify more than 2 pairs for you. How 7 pairs. One for each day of the week!! :lmao:

Kathy - could anything else go wrong? How many days are left in this month? You need a do-over month - I am hope April is that month for you. Keeping you in my thoughts.

I am trying to stay positive. I am thankful my girls are kind enough to take care of their dad, even though he never really was around for them after we split up.
And thankfully we had enough cars that we had spares to drive.
And to be honest, the washer hasn't been working right for the last few months, and we have "boxer money" in the bank to cover that until payday, so we can put it right back.

A high school friend of mine lives in Tokoyo. He and his family are fine. He posted pictures on FB of their kitchen - everything was broken and on the ground. He said that the biggest concern for them is the radiation fallout. He also says they aren't getting clear information about it - too much concern about not wanting people to panic. The store shelves are empty. Power blackouts are planned because of the shortage of energy.

I will send some prayers out for your friends. I hope the radiation isn't as bad as I am thinking it is. I had thoughts of Chernobile (sp?) in my head when I heard about it. Even Three Mile Island.
 
OMG, Kathy! That is too much to handle all at once. May I ask what took Rick's partner so quickly? Did he have family to step in to handle things? The timing was just so very awful. So sorry about all the stress with the cars, too. Tris sounds like an amazing young woman. I'm sure she will be fine in her pregnancy. I do hope she is taking the necessary time for herself, though.

They aren't sure what he died from. Someone told Carrie that he had lung cancer and didn't tell anyone. He only had 1 lung that worked to full capacity. His sister said he and Rich continued to smoke like chimneys though.
I guess he died sitting on the sofa watching tv. Rich happened to wake up and all the lights were on. Guess that was out of the ordinary. When he looked at Lynn (his partner) he had labored breathing and foaming at the mouth. He called 911 immediately. Not sure if he died at the apartment or at the hospital.
He was cremated the next day. No autopsy. It came to light earlier this week that a lot of Rich's pain killers were missing. The first question I asked Carrie when she told me was if it could have been suicide. They didn't think so.
I am so proud of my girls. I just feel bad that Rich never really came around when we split. He missed out on so much of their lives :( It wasn't until the wedding that he really seemed to want to see them. Not sure if he was embarrassed by his life style choice or what.

Kathy, you are coming full circle in your willingness to help Rick and Tris in his time of transition. I know your spirit will be gifted by your generosity and you will find that you have healed through your grace. I am in awe of you.

Lisa, I have wanted to talk with him for quite some time. But he never wanted to do much more than the normal courtesies. So I kept it at the "formal" type of talk.
When we found out about his cancer, I so wanted to call him, but didn't know if he'd want to talk to me or not. I also thought about sending him a card, just to let him know I was thinking of him and praying for him too. But I didn't know how he'd react.
So when his partner died, I finally called him a couple days later. I asked if we could talk and also if it was ok that I called. He said yes, and he was crying. My heart was breaking for him. Such a hard, sad situation. He couldn't talk at that time, but he said he'd call me back. He didn't, but I had to take Carrie down last Thursday, so I went into the apartment. As soon as he saw me, he started crying. I walked over and hugged him and told him he needed to come home to his family. I told him I always will love him, as he is the father of my children. I told him I never hated him. We just changed over the years. I also told him he has friends here who want to help take care of him, and be there for him. He looked so frail. His appearance didn't surprise me as much as the reality of his mortality.
Yes, I do feel as though I've come full circle. I am able to forgive him for past things. The past will remain in the past. We have a new future to look forward to with a grandchild.
I am researching alternative cancer "treatments" and came across some good articles. I will pass them along, but I'm sure you already know about them.
I know without a doubt, he needs to quit smoking, and gave him the resources I used. I want to show him that love is truly unconditional. I want my children to learn by my example.
Ok, I'm rambling on and on. Sorry :hug:


I am glad Tom got home ok. I can imagine what a relief that is for you! What a nice time you'll have with your 2 men with you. No doubt they will be spoiled.
I hope J-P is feeling better. Tell him he'd better not do that again, or all your MM friends will set him straight! LOL

We started my first step in my rock polisher with all of my Oregon agates last Sunday before all the drama around here. Today we opened it to change to the finer grit. You tumble each step for about a week. They already look so pretty! I'm really excited. It's going to be a fun hobby for us.

My mom has a rock polisher. She had polished some rocks and gave me. They were so pretty. You got me thinking I may borrow it and get some of my own. You can get some rough gems on ebay rather cheaply. They have some nice looking rubies and such. Really thinking about it. They say there is "magical" powers in the different stones.

http://www.bestcrystals.com/metaphysical.html

Ok, off to rest for a bit. Ran myself down too much and now coughing and a sore throat. Going to make some tea and relax watching the Band of Brothers marathon. I'm not much for war shows or movies, but really like this one. I would like to order the dvds of The Pacific too.

Oh, does anyone know about the 14 day diet? Or is that the one we already discussed? LOL
Later everyone!!
[/QUOTE]
 
Lisa, I have wanted to talk with him for quite some time. But he never wanted to do much more than the normal courtesies. So I kept it at the "formal" type of talk.
When we found out about his cancer, I so wanted to call him, but didn't know if he'd want to talk to me or not. I also thought about sending him a card, just to let him know I was thinking of him and praying for him too. But I didn't know how he'd react.
So when his partner died, I finally called him a couple days later. I asked if we could talk and also if it was ok that I called. He said yes, and he was crying. My heart was breaking for him. Such a hard, sad situation. He couldn't talk at that time, but he said he'd call me back. He didn't, but I had to take Carrie down last Thursday, so I went into the apartment. As soon as he saw me, he started crying. I walked over and hugged him and told him he needed to come home to his family. I told him I always will love him, as he is the father of my children. I told him I never hated him. We just changed over the years. I also told him he has friends here who want to help take care of him, and be there for him. He looked so frail. His appearance didn't surprise me as much as the reality of his mortality.
Yes, I do feel as though I've come full circle. I am able to forgive him for past things. The past will remain in the past. We have a new future to look forward to with a grandchild.
[/QUOTE]

Kathy - what a gift you are giving your children. And Rich. You fit right in with my favorite words - grace and gratitude. You are grace and have so much gratitude.
 
Lisa - you deserve a do-over too. Your day yesterday (and the days and days before that) sounds horrific. I hope Tom and J-P recovered enough that you got your walk down by the river with Bonnie and the frisbee. Did Tom get a Swedish home-care nurse? Your comment made me laugh...
 
Hi everyone! I was so happy to see all the posts!

Lisa - I'm sure you're enjoying the time with your favorite guys! How long will JP be home? You have to post some pictures of your agates in progress - I have no idea of what they look like.

Kathy - What a shocker that your husband's partner died! You and your girls sound like amazing people. You should be very proud.

Kate - I laughed when I read you defriended him on FB. Hmmph - that'll show him. :) I know the feeling; I used to give the receiver 'the finger' when mine was talking to me on the phone. It made me feel better. :confused3

My unemployment ran out 2 weeks ago. I can't believe it is taking this long to find a job. Please continue to send positive thoughts - I need them!

The weather is finally drying out. The water across the street is like white-water as it comes down the falls. There have been so many cars parked and people taking pictures. I've never seen it so high and rough.

I hope this week is calm and quiet for all my friends!
Hugs to all.:grouphug:
 

Kathy - what a gift you are giving your children. And Rich. You fit right in with my favorite words - grace and gratitude. You are grace and have so much gratitude.[/QUOTE]

LOL. Believe me, there are days where I have absolutely no grace, but try to be grateful.
I have come so far since we all met on these boards. I am truly grateful for you all!!
 
Lisa - you deserve a do-over too. Your day yesterday (and the days and days before that) sounds horrific. I hope Tom and J-P recovered enough that you got your walk down by the river with Bonnie and the frisbee. Did Tom get a Swedish home-care nurse? Your comment made me laugh...

I personally think he's holding out for a french maid! :laundy:
 
I love you all so much! What smiles you bring to my face!;)

Kathy: I was so touched by the way you reached out to Rich. You are so right; you share a lot of history and it's best for the girls for him to end his days in peace surrounded by family. You will be blessed for your grace.

Tom, J-P and I went out to the park along the river yesterday. Tom put his leg up on picnic benches from time to time. Bonnie rolled in horse poop and we all had an aromatic ride home. We decided to put those disposable doggie bath wipes in the car for the future!

Tom's leg is horribly swollen. Really bummed since it was doing so well before the infection. We're hoping and praying it is a temporary set back. He asked the nurse not to come this morning so we could take J-P to brunch at one of our favorite places. Ike's Quarter Cafe in Nevada City, Kate, in case you get up I80. It's sort of like healthy New Orleans inspired food that is organic, sustainable and locally grown. Love it! Their gingered greens are to die for. J-P got a gift for the gf. I'm teaching him you don't travel and come home empty handed:) Tom's leg began to bother him so we came home.

We found out the nurse is for people that are housebound and can't take care of themselves. She said if he is as competent as he is with his own wound dressing, she doesn't know why she was called. She's going to check tomorrow and maybe not come out. She sounds nice and very nurse-like so it's probably just as well, LOL!

J-P is only home for a 4-day weekend. He goes home tomorrow night. We've all decided to meet at my sister's on the north coast for Easter weekend, which is one week after Tom's birthday. The boys are driving down from Portland, Olivia will be home and Mom and Dad are even coming up. Should be a memorable time!

Mom's bladder cancer came back for the 3rd time this last week. I can't remember if I told you; it was the same day we figured out Tom's infection situation. She has to have surgery again, but it's very tiny and localized so she'll be fine.

Kathy: I have to wonder if Rich's partner didn't perhaps take too many pills. They were in a very depressing state.

I'll take some pics of my agates when I change the grit next week. It's getting very exciting! They are especially beautiful when held to the light, as they are made of sort of a crystalline substance ranging from pure white, to amber, to carnelian red. Some of them have stripes or are shot through with other minerals. I am obsessed on the beach. I could get hit by a wave because I don't look up much. I'd better be more careful.

We are in shock over the devastation in Japan. It's too much to comprehend. As much as we have all endured this year, just think of what it would be like to lose your life or your family in one instant when the world as you know it will never be the same. It's heartbreaking.

Have a great rest of the weeknd and enjoy the extra hour of daylight! Yippee! My favorite thing- extra time to garden in the evening!:flower3:
 















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