Free Kate

[robinb]

I also believe that the 14 YO's parents should have thought long and hard how they wanted to handle this. I understand that they regard Kate as a predator, and blame her for their DD's orientation. I don't agree, but I do understand. I also believe that no matter how angry they are, this decision to prosecute Kate may irrevocably change how their own DD feels about them, and as a parent, I could not live with that.

I was thinking that myself. I can't believe that this had a positive effect on the girl's relationship with her parents.

 

[firecracker725]

Why? Why press charges? What happened to grounding and taking away the car and otherwise controlling or disciplining our own kids rather than expecting the law to take care of the situation? Why put all the blame on the other child because you don't know how to effectively impose your rules on your own?

 

[luvsJack]

And I think the POV some of us are coming from is that the law is flawed on this issue, that it criminalizes normal behaviour, that the punishment does not in any way fit the crime, and that it is applied unevenly based on the demands of parents acting from their own biases.

If a parent thinks 14 is too young for dating or too young for sex that's an issue to address as a parent. Teach your values, set and impose rules, provide supervision. Don't demand that the criminal justice system step in where parental authority has fallen short.

I totally agree with this.

Allowing your 14 to date or not to date or the rules on who they may date is a parent thing and shouldn't be something dragged to through the courts.

I don't understand the thought process of automatically blaming the other teen if your teen decides to have sex with him/her.

 

[Sanchez]

And I think the POV some of us are coming from is that the law is flawed on this issue, that it criminalizes normal behaviour, that the punishment does not in any way fit the crime, and that it is applied unevenly based on the demands of parents acting from their own biases.

If a parent thinks 14 is too young for dating or too young for sex that's an issue to address as a parent. Teach your values, set and impose rules, provide supervision. Don't demand that the criminal justice system step in where parental authority has fallen short.

I understand your valid opinion. How would you fix the law?

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I totally agree with this.

Allowing your 14 to date or not to date or the rules on who they may date is a parent thing and shouldn't be something dragged to through the courts.

I don't understand the thought process of automatically blaming the other teen if your teen decides to have sex with him/her.

Yeah, totally agreed with this. I assume by prosecuting Kate, these parents will at some point lose access to their child.

 

[FireDancer]

And I think the POV some of us are coming from is that the law is flawed on this issue, that it criminalizes normal behaviour, that the punishment does not in any way fit the crime, and that it is applied unevenly based on the demands of parents acting from their own biases.

But even if you have that opinion, which I'm not saying is wrong, you don't ignore the law and do what you want anyway when the consequences are so high. I think that is just a bad idea. There are quite a few laws I don't agree with but they are still the law. If I break them and get caught or someone presses charges I am going to be punished. Sure, someone can attempt to use their defense to change the law but there is no way in heck with consequences this high I am willing to be the guinea pig.

 

[LisaR]

I have both a 14year old and an 18 year old. The difference in their maturity is huge,. The 18 year od drives, works and is off to college in the fall. The 14 year old is still a kid and very easily influenced by other kids. I am sure he would be thrilled if a 17 or 18 year old paid attention to him. I would be furious. I don't think it matters that it was two girls or if it was too boys,. If she was s o smart and such a good kid, she should have known better. My 18 year old has no interest in 14 year olds, she hangs out and goes out with boys her own age. Yes, in five year maybe it won't matter but in reality, the 18 year old will be college age and the 15 year old is still very much in high school. I think she made a very poor choice. However, her life should not be over because of it either.

Bolding mine. My 18 y/o is the same way. She actually has a few 14 y/o on her FB. They were kids she tutored years ago or younger siblings of her friends who she has known for years. They will occasionally post something to her or she will comment on their status. However, when the weekend comes, it would never enter my DD's mind to ask them to hang out. Even if DD doesn't have any plans for the weekend, she would stay home and read a book or watch TV. It wouldn't dawn on her to ask out any of the 14 y/o. Now, I know every kid is different and maturity levels vary greatly, but Kate's mom sure makes Kate sound like the smartest, most mature child on the planet so I doubt this was a maturity thing.

 

[moon]

14 year old's parents tell their side of the story:

http://cbs12.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_7597.shtml

SEBASTIAN, Fla. -- A local teen's family says she is being unfairly prosecuted for a same-sex relationship. But now a new twist in the case that has gripped the nation.

The parents of the underage victim speak out for the first time only to CBS12, and drop a bombshell that will likely turn this investigation on its head.

"Stop the hate, free Kate," is the Hunt Family's message. The message directed right at Jim and Laurie Smith, the parents of the former girlfriend, who spoke exclusively to CBS12 to defend their actions, their daughter, and their rights as parents.

"We are not the type of people to go in front of the media," said Laurie Smith.

First, let's set the facts straight. Kate was not 17, their daughter not 15.

"Our daughter was 14, and this girl was 18," said Jim Smith.

The Smiths are portrayed by the Hunt Family as going to the law first.

"It's not the way it was. It was quite different. We had actually told Miss Hunt that this was wrong," Laurie told CBS12's Jana Eschbach.

But, according to the Smiths Kate was warned, not once, but twice to stop.

"Another adult, a mother, came to me and said 'Ms. Smith you need to know this...we told Miss Hunt to leave your daughter alone. But they are in a relationship, and she's 18.' 18? My daughter is only 14," Laure said.

Their 14-year-old began to act out, and one weekend morning they opened her door and she was gone.

"It's the worst thing that I've ever experienced," Jim said. "Somebody took her is what we thought. Because her running away is the furthest thing from my mind. You hear kids getting abducted out of your home. That was heart-wrenching."

Reported missing, and found safe, the Smiths found out she was with Kate, who picked her up even though she had been told to stay away.

"Didn't stop, then we didn't have an alternative but to turn to the law, use it as a last resort," said Jim.

"This whole story about you blaming Kate for making you daughter gay...where did that come from?" asked CBS12's Jana Eschbach.

"I don't know. It didn't come from us. That's not how we feel," Jim said.

Bloggers shred Laurie online as a gay-basher, abusive to her daughter.

"They made me seem as if I'm a monster," Laurie said.

But says they will stand strong.

"I will be her advocate for what she needs," Laurie said.

Under an intense amount of national media attention their daughter still goes to high school every day. Hearing now that her parents hate gay people, and their worse fear is that their own daughter will begin to believe these lies.

"That's why I'm talking to you...The stories that people are saying...I love my daughter and I am willing to do whatever to protect her," Laurie said.

 

[iheartdisney]

I totally agree with this.

Allowing your 14 to date or not to date or the rules on who they may date is a parent thing and shouldn't be something dragged to through the courts.

I don't understand the thought process of automatically blaming the other teen if your teen decides to have sex with him/her.

Because in this case the other teen is AN ADULT. By law a 14 year old can't consent. And if the parents of the 18 year old never warned their daughter of the law when they saw her getting serious with a minor then they have severely failed her. Only now when she has press coverage is the mom getting involved.

 

[LisaR]

Why? Why press charges? What happened to grounding and taking away the car and otherwise controlling or disciplining our own kids rather than expecting the law to take care of the situation? Why put all the blame on the other child because you don't know how to effectively impose your rules on your own?

Like you, I would handle it the same way. I cannot envision pressing charges. If anything, I would blame myself for crappy parenting and not being aware of the fact that my 14 y/o was having sex.

But it is no surprise that everyone has their own style of parenting. In addition, the parents of the 14 y/o have not spoken one single word about this case. The only perspective we have is from Kate and her very vocal parents. It is possible that the 14 y/o felt coerced into this relationship. If I felt that my 14 y/o was forced into something, that changes the game entirely and it won't be pretty.

And I think the POV some of us are coming from is that the law is flawed on this issue, that it criminalizes normal behaviour, that the punishment does not in any way fit the crime, and that it is applied unevenly based on the demands of parents acting from their own biases.

If a parent thinks 14 is too young for dating or too young for sex that's an issue to address as a parent. Teach your values, set and impose rules, provide supervision. Don't demand that the criminal justice system step in where parental authority has fallen short.

I think there are plenty of flawed laws in this country, but if I choose to break any of them (and I have) I know that there will be consequences if I am caught. The law says that what took place between this couple was criminal. Whether I agree with it or not isn't the point. Until that law changes, Kate or anyone else in her situation, have clearly broken the law.

 

[luvsJack]

Bolding mine. My 18 y/o is the same way. She actually has a few 14 y/o on her FB. They were kids she tutored years ago or younger siblings of her friends who she has known for years. They will occasionally post something to her or she will comment on their status. However, when the weekend comes, it would never enter my DD's mind to ask them to hang out. Even if DD doesn't have any plans for the weekend, she would stay home and read a book or watch TV. It wouldn't dawn on her to ask out any of the 14 y/o. Now, I know every kid is different and maturity levels vary greatly, but Kate's mom sure makes Kate sound like the smartest, most mature child on the planet so I doubt this was a maturity thing.

If your 18 y/o is a straight girl that would be dating boys, chances are she has no interest because they are so much more immature than she is. That can make a big difference.

I think, too that with the story in the OP--when are their birthdays? They said that the younger was 14 and the older was 18 but when did each turn that age? Or when will they turn the next age.

For like two months, the boy dd is talking to will be 18 and she will be 14 and then she will be 15 and he 18; right now they are 17/14. ---she is NOT allowed to date at this time, we are taking the whole dating thing case by case. I don't know this boy as well as I did the last one, so at this point no dating; just group activities, school functions and church.

 

[luvsJack]

Because in this case the other teen is AN ADULT. By law a 14 year old can't consent. And if the parents of the 18 year old never warned their daughter of the law when they saw her getting serious with a minor then they have severely failed her. Only now when she has press coverage is the mom getting involved.

No, the other teen is legally an adult. She did not force the other girl.

A 14 year old cannot consent BY LAW, that doesn't mean that she can not consent by every other definition of the word.

By pressing charges, you are saying that the other teen is completely at fault and no fault lies with your 14 year old. Unless something was forced, it simply is not true.

I seems to me, that its saying that by just being 18, the other person is at fault. So, if this same person was 17 two days ago and the couple had sex THEN instead after the "magic" birthday; is the 17 year old not at fault? Those few days really make that much of a difference?

I understand that its the law and much of what you are saying is "by law", I just an issue with this law.

 

[LisaR]

If your 18 y/o is a straight girl that would be dating boys, chances are she has no interest because they are so much more immature than she is. That can make a big difference.

I think, too that with the story in the OP--when are their birthdays? They said that the younger was 14 and the older was 18 but when did each turn that age? Or when will they turn the next age.

For like two months, the boy dd is talking to will be 18 and she will be 14 and then she will be 15 and he 18; right now they are 17/14. ---she is NOT allowed to date at this time, we are taking the whole dating thing case by case. I don't know this boy as well as I did the last one, so at this point no dating; just group activities, school functions and church.

Kate turned 18 in August. The two girls did not start dating until November. Kate was arrested in February. I do not know when the 14 y/o turned 14.

At 18, a person, gay or straight, should know that dating a 14 y/o has consequences. If we are to believe the story that was just posted from the parents of the 14 y/o, Kate had been warned multiple times that what she was doing was wrong. I don't buy Kate's parents story that she had no idea that dating someone so young was illegal and they didn't know either.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Why? Why press charges? What happened to grounding and taking away the car and otherwise controlling or disciplining our own kids rather than expecting the law to take care of the situation? Why put all the blame on the other child because you don't know how to effectively impose your rules on your own?

If my child is 14 I would have had the conversations that need to done before any dating type relationship was a possibility ok. I'm not the wait and see what happens type of person. BUT 14 year olds, for whatever reason, do things they shouldn't be doing. And I don't see it as failure to parent to my end or this girl's parents end either. When the law is on my side to help protect my child then its my responsibility to use that tool if i need it. The other person involved is not my responsibility. They have their own parents.

 

[LisaR]

No, the other teen is legally an adult. She did not force the other girl.

A 14 year old cannot consent BY LAW, that doesn't mean that she can not consent by every other definition of the word.

By pressing charges, you are saying that the other teen is completely at fault and no fault lies with your 14 year old. Unless something was forced, it simply is not true.

I seems to me, that its saying that by just being 18, the other person is at fault. So, if this same person was 17 two days ago and the couple had sex THEN instead after the "magic" birthday; is the 17 year old not at fault? Those few days really make that much of a difference?

I understand that its the law and much of what you are saying is "by law", I just an issue with this law.

I disagree with that. Plenty of people press charges for things that they have some control over. It probably happens in a court of law every single day in the US.

 

[luvsJack]

Kate turned 18 in August. The two girls did not start dating until November. Kate was arrested in February. I do not know when the 14 y/o turned 14.

At 18, a person, gay or straight, should know that dating a 14 y/o has consequences. If we are to believe the story that was just posted from the parents of the 14 y/o, Kate had been warned multiple times that what she was doing was wrong. I don't buy Kate's parents story that she had no idea that dating someone so young was illegal and they didn't know either.

Well, sure, they do need to know that. I don't buy that they didn't know it either. I just think the law is a bit flawed.

If the parents of the younger girl "warned" Kate, I wonder what they did with their own child? I just wonder if they shouldn't have concentrated their efforts on their child following their rules rather than warning Kate.

 

[Nancyg56]

I understand that its the law and much of what you are saying is "by law", I just an issue with this law.

The problem is that those last few days make a difference, and therefore flawed or not, it is important to make sure that teens have a clear understanding what that means, in regards to legal consequences. People focus on that "by law" thing because if an 18 YO breaks this law in particular, the consequences are very drastic.

My DH has an issue with the seat belt law. he thinks it is no one business but his own if he wears a seat belt. Makes no difference what he thinks, if he drives with no seat belt and is stopped, he has broken a law and must pay the consequences. He also gets irritated with me if I say "It is the law"

 

[worm761]

The age of consent in the state of Florida is 18. She broke the law and now gets to face the consequences.

By their own words, she KNEW the parents of the 14 year old did not want them dating. The reason they don't want them dating is irrelevant. The parents of the younger girl have stated that they asked her twice to back off and she refused to do so. While I don't think you get this magic maturity at 18, the law considers you to be an adult and regardless of whether you agree with the law you still have to follow it.

If she were as smart as everyone says she would take the plea bargain and petition for Romeo and Juliet to apply. She has already admitted to the crime as has the other girl. She can't win in court and the media attention her parents have decided to garner for her isn't helping her case any.

 

[Nancyg56]

If the parents of the younger girl "warned" Kate, I wonder what they did with their own child? I just wonder if they shouldn't have concentrated their efforts on their child following their rules rather than warning Kate.

I bet that they tried. They are angry and since they have legal recourse with Kate, and not their DD, they are using it as some sort of punishment. I don't know if they did this, but perhaps they should have made sure the their DD, Kate and Kate's parents knew that they would have n problem taking this mess to court if Kate and their DD continued their relationship.

 

[Colleen27]

I understand your valid opinion. How would you fix the law?

I think, in light of the current trends in "redshirting" and holding kids back based on certain milestone targets as they relate to state testing, that there needs to be wording added to exclude schoolmates. It would be simple enough to amend age-of-consent laws to add language to the effect of "except when both parties are enrolled in a recognized program of secondary education". That would recognize that while a relationship between a senior and a freshman might be ill-advised it isn't criminal and should be a matter for parents rather than law enforcement, without weakening the ability to prosecute adult men who deliberately prey on teens. I don't think this was as much of an issue in the past when there was less law enforcement involvement in the schools as a whole and when there was less age variation within each grade, but now that it is absolutely normal to have a 2 year span between the oldest and youngest in any given class I think the law has to evolve to adapt to those circumstances.