Father's rights ( no custody agreement)

[Swan4Me]

DH 's nephew always payed child support for his DD, but never had any custody agreement , never was married. They got pregnant in high school
He has been an involved father

His ex just gave him devastating news & waiting until the last minute

DD was supposed to start orientation for High School Monday- private school that he has paid 2 months tuition for....

Her new DH has taken a promotion halfway across the country and they leave soon, they apparently knew and were keeping info from him

Is there anything he can do?

( there is a younger brother whose father is also against the move- and he might have a custody agreement )

 

[happygirl]

DH 's nephew always payed child support for his DD, but never had any custody agreement , never was married. They got pregnant in high school
He has been an involved father

His ex just gave him devastating news & waiting until the last minute

DD was supposed to start orientation for High School Monday- private school that he has paid 2 months tuition for....

Her new DH has taken a promotion halfway across the country and they leave soon, they apparently knew and were keeping info from him

Is there anything he can do?

( there is a younger brother whose father is also against the move- and he might have a custody agreement )

Time to go to court before they move. Why didn't anyone make him get something from the court when the baby was born

 

[Darcy03231]

He needs to immediately see a lawyer who specializes in child custody cases and get something filed with the court immediately. It won't be cheap, but if he wants to have any say in this move he needs to do it.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Go to court for legal rights and have proof that he paid child support. This is something that ought to have been done from the beginning and there is still time.

 

[cornflake]

He needs to see a lawyer NOW who can possibly file an injunction and prevent her from moving until they can get a hearing and it all worked out. Given the sneakiness of this and that he's been involved and participatory her entire life, he'd probably have a very good shot.

This is why everyone, no matter how friendly it seems, should get orders in place!

 

[canadianjovigirl]

If nothing else he needs an order that the child cannot leave the state until the custody is worked out and with a high schooler they should have say in the matter. Good for them for working things out up until this point but now is when no formal order is an issue as mom thinks she can do what she wants and here legally she can if there is no order in place.

 

[Coconut36]

He needs to take legal action immediately.

I learned in my state if the couple is unmarried (even if they lived together and maintained a home/shared finances..etc) that the father has ZERO rights..Mom can take the kid out of state without his consent, without a custody agreement she can keep the child with her and not let the father visit..etc. One family friend went in to major debt when his relationship ended to set up custody and visitation rights for his child. Another friend never took the legal steps and his ex did move the child several states away and controlled visits and used them to manipulate him (things like "he can stay for the summer..oh wait..I changed my mind..he needs to come back now" type stuff). It was a nightmare for him.

There is nothing he can do besides seek legal action. He can ask for mediation if he thinks that will work and see if they can work out an agreement or if not it may need to go to court (as the person I mentioned above had to do..mediation failed for them as the mother was unwilling to allow visitation, wanted X amount in support..etc).

 

[Hannathy]

What does the DD want to do? At her age she will be asked.


Always, always get it in writing!

Hope it works out for him, that is a really lousy , low move on his DD's Mother. What a witch.

 

[Deb in IA]

I agree.

He needs to involve the professionals (attorneys who specialize in family law and child custody).

 

[hereyago]

I just waNt to echo what others have written. I have no idea why some people do not protect themselves with getting a custody agreement from the jump. And that is shady she didn't give the dad a prior discussion about they may be moving-sure the judge will love to hear that. Hope he goes to court and it all work out.

 

[Hannathy]

I agree.

He needs to involve the professionals (attorneys who specialize in family law and child custody).

Yes! make sure he finds a lawyer who specializes in this. Now is not the time for a general attorney. Even if he has to get a loan, he has one shot at this, now is not the time to be conservative and frugal.

 

[sparklynails23]

Maybe they just got the official job offer and start date. New jobs don't usually give months of notice. I don't know that the dad should try to stop the move. The mom might need to do it, financially, but the dad should get a visitation agreement in place. I'm sure he is sad, but I don't know that he has a right to be angry.

 

[clh2]

It is time to lawyer up with a specialized attorney.

As you know - there is NO time to wait.

 

[cornflake]

Maybe they just got the official job offer and start date. New jobs don't usually give months of notice. I don't know that the dad should try to stop the move. The mom might need to do it, financially, but the dad should get a visitation agreement in place. I'm sure he is sad, but I don't know that he has a right to be angry.

Why not? She's attempting to move his child halfway across the country.

If someone is willing to allow that or negotiate a like, long vacation visitation schedule, fine. But plenty of people are on 50/50 schedules or close and that's not acceptable.

 

[sparklynails23]

People often have to move for jobs. That's life in the 21st century. It doesn't make her a bad person, but they should have a custody agreement.

 

[cornflake]

People often have to move for jobs. That's life in the 21st century. It doesn't make her a bad person, but they should have a custody agreement.

And sometimes you don't get to move for a job because you had a child with someone who isn't moving. So is also life. Plenty of judges have put the kibosh on planned moves because they take the kids too far from a parent. Well, not on the move, judge can't tell an adult not to move, but they'll forbid moving the kid, which often has the same effect.

 

[Coconut36]

And sometimes you don't get to move for a job because you had a child with someone who isn't moving. So is also life. Plenty of judges have put the kibosh on planned moves because they take the kids too far from a parent.

I agree. When you have a child with someone you don't get to just pick up and move and you need to take custody into mind when pursuing job offers/moves.

 

[ilovemk76]

He needs to get a court order to keep the child in state. One always should have a custody agreement.

 

[ilovemk76]

And sometimes you don't get to move for a job because you had a child with someone who isn't moving. So is also life. Plenty of judges have put the kibosh on planned moves because they take the kids too far from a parent. Well, not on the move, judge can't tell an adult not to move, but they'll forbid moving the kid, which often has the same effect.

It depends on many things. The parent who wants to move must show just reason for the move and how the child will benefit.

Without a custody agreement, the mother holds all the cards.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm trying to understand why he didn't have a custody agreement in place for the last 14 years (since she is starting HS I assume she about 14? Especially if the ex is re-married.