Family refuses to donate.

[Judique]

You need to let it go. Once you give something to someone, you give up any rights to dictate what they do with it. Would you donate clothes to Good Will or any other charity with the stipulation that the person buying the clothes should also donate them when they are outgrown?

I agree with this.

Best to just give it and forget it.

You can bypass them by donating elsewhere, but they are still family. If they are using the items at least once after you have used them, you have helped somebody.

And, after some time has passed, they may get tired of keeping the extra clutter around also!

 

[mickeymaker2003]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

Those families that need help are happy to pay the .50 or $1.00 for items at a garage sale instead of the $6 Goodwill charges for a pair of jeans here.

 

[Marlea98]

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Sadly, here, I'm finding that people are buying good 'brand name' stuff at garage sales really cheap and on selling on eBay or whatever for a profit I prefer to donate but each to their own.

 

[SamSam]

Another great place to donate clothing, or household items is DVAC. Not sure if it's called something else in other areas, it's Domestic Violance Association. Often women (mostly) leave their home on short notice (with their children) and have absolutely nothing with them.

I take all my clothes, suitcases, and products from hotels (we travel for work) in to our local DVAC on a regular basis. It really is greatly appreciated and needed.

 

[jamesmommy]

Our school has a clothes "closet" where we can donate clothing for local families. We also have several local churches who have small thrift stores to raise money for various charities and missions. I like to give to that sort of place, because I feel like I am helping those in my own community.

My son has worn hand-me-downs from my great nephew, most of which were at least 5 years old at the time. IMO, children's clothing, particularly boys, doesn't seem to date itself as easily as that of teen and adults.

 

[okeydokey]

I would skip the family and donate some things directly to other organizations. I think it is sad that the family put pretty prom like dresses in a box never to be seen again when a needy girl would really appreciate having them. You don't owe the family first dibs n your things if you rather give them to someone else.

I can't believe they would try to bags of food from your home that you have set aside to donate. That's just wrong.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Not in the neighborhoods I've lived in. I wa a HUGE saler a few years ago. I knew a few people who did it to stretch their budgets, but most of us were just flat out bargain hunters who sent saling as a form of shopping therapy.

 

[MrsPete]

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

Disagree. Most of the people I know who shop at yard sales, consignment shops, etc. are thrifty -- not needy. In my personal experience, they tend to be average or better in terms of finances.

 

[MrsPete]

We held on to MANY of DS's clothes, and it has only been in this last year that I'm giving them away.

I think MANY moms have "evolved" in their thinking about kids' clothes in this way. When your baby outgrows those first things, it's hard to give them away. They're so tiny and cute, and they remind you of those first days, and you think you might need them again for another baby . . . but when she outgrows more and more and more sizes, and when they begin to fill your attic and take over your life . . . well, you can't get wait to get rid of them!

 

[a1tinkfans]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

I bolded
really?
Did you ever consider that maybe that family is selling their items to actually make money so they can afford new clothing? Perhaps the family buying it..its all THEY can afford??
Recycle rather than throw it away?
Or avoid being on assistance?
Its lovely to be able to donate but perhaps....not everyone has that "luxury" sometimes there is another side to the picture..
I know one of those families you appear to criticize and honestly, I applaud ALL the things they do to manage their family with dignity and without the need to ask for public help. Just say'n

 

[sissy_ib]

Disagree. Most of the people I know who shop at yard sales, consignment shops, etc. are thrifty -- not needy. In my personal experience, they tend to be average or better in terms of finances.

Well I know plenty of needy people who shop at garage sales as well. Thankfully it is not something I have ever had to do just to get by but I do have family who have had two choices, shop Goodwill and garage sales or have nothing. The people who hold garage sales also commonly need the money.

 

[sookie]

i thought i was a control freak! lol
once you give something away - you don't control what happens to it anymore op!
but i agree - i just donate stuff. to people you don't know.
if you have a problem with how someone takes care of something when you give it to them - i don't give them stuff anymore.

i have given people stuff and seen them misuse it, and if it bothers me (and yes, that HAS happened to me) - i just refuse to give them my stuff anymore.

 

[Ephany]

i thought i was a control freak! lol
once you give something away - you don't control what happens to it anymore op!
but i agree - i just donate stuff. to people you don't know.
if you have a problem with how someone takes care of something when you give it to them - i don't give them stuff anymore.

i have given people stuff and seen them misuse it, and if it bothers me (and yes, that HAS happened to me) - i just refuse to give them my stuff anymore.

I have 2 good friends who have daughters younger than DD. For years I passed on all of her gently worn clothes down to one friend because I knew when her daughter outgrew them, she'd pass them on with no conditions. My second friend was a bit upset that I never gave her anything but her kids treat their stuff like dirt and destroy everything they're given. After the first (and only) time DD shared an outgrown item with my second friend's child and it was utterly trashed within days, I said never again. I know I can't control what happens to an item once I've passed it on, so I only pass things on to people who will treat them properly and share them when finished in good faith.

 

[sookie]

I have 2 good friends who have daughters younger than DD. For years I passed on all of her gently worn clothes down to one friend because I knew when her daughter outgrew them, she'd pass them on with no conditions. My second friend was a bit upset that I never gave her anything but her kids treat their stuff like dirt and destroy everything they're given. After the first (and only) time DD shared an outgrown item with my second friend's child and it was utterly trashed within days, I said never again. I know I can't control what happens to an item once I've passed it on, so I only pass things on to people who will treat them properly and share them when finished in good faith.

amen.

otherwise, you just have to donate to people you don't know. because the other option will only buy you a one way ticket to crazy town! especially if you are a person who keeps your clothing nice and clean / pristine.

 

[ceecee]

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

I had a lady that came to my garage sales every year and bought all of her DD's clothes for the next school year and she would get so excited. I would always set the nicer things aside because I knew her DD would love them. I donated to Goodwill a lot and they really mark up the prices. What I sold for .50 would be $5.00 at Goodwill.

 

[indimom]

I've given clothes to friends and family. I don't care what they do with it. Wear it, Trash it, sell it. Just don't bring it back to me. lol. I know one in particular has sold some of the items I gave her when her daughter's weren't interested in them. Not a problem to me.

I've held quite a few yard sales. Last one brought in $2,000 and none of the clothes were marked over $2. Good for me, Good for the people who wanted clothes, toys, whatever, on a budget.

I've given clothes to Goodwill, Coat Drives, etc.

And since it came up. I've also bought clothes at yard sales, Goodwill, and consignment shops. I'm not needy, I'm just open to a deal and enjoy the hunt. If I can't find clothes cheaper, I also like to shop at your standard stores: Pennys, Macys, TJ Maxx, Old Navy, etc...

OP, if it really bugs you that they don't pass it on, just give the clothes to charity (at least then you won't know what happens to them). But if you want to help them out, I'd try to just stop worrying about what happens to the clothes when they are done with them. I guess it really depends on which of these issues is more important to you.

 

[sayheyrenee]

I take tons of hand me downs for my daughter, I also buy at 2nd Avenue, Good will and Salvation Army. I resell some used clothing on eBay (the name brand stuff) to be able to afford to reshop at those second hand stores in order to continue to be a SAHM.

No one who has hand me downed has expected anything once they were gifted to me.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

I take tons of hand me downs for my daughter, I also buy at 2nd Avenue, Good will and Salvation Army. I resell some used clothing on eBay (the name brand stuff) to be able to afford to reshop at those second hand stores in order to continue to be a SAHM.

No one who has hand me downed has expected anything once they were gifted to me.

Exactly.

I buy 95% of my kids' clothing used. We give away things that are not resale worthy. They may not be perfect, but my friends can let their kids wear an outfit that already shows wear to play outside.

Nice, name brand things get sold, and the money recycled into new clothes. So, one outfit helps three people reach a goal...someone gets a deal on a nice outfit, someone makes money on selling their old clothes, and I get "free" clothes. Win, win, win.

 

[jenlynn0808]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

While everyone is mentioning that the person buying it might need it at the lower price, I'd like to offer the reverse situation.

We always donate the items we no longer can use or need. However this year, DH was downsized and we were told he wasn't eligible for unemployment. We used all our savings, the credit cards <shudders>, and all of our tax return to survive and pay our bills on time & the $1500+ unexpected car repair. He has gone back to work, but we wiped out everything while he was looking and put ourselves in debt-not something we are happy or proud of, but the alternative of paying late bills and defaulting on a mortgage wasn't an option to us. There was no extra anything and lots of spaghetti dinners.

So instead of donating all of our items, I've been selling them on a local Mom-to Mom site (think of it like an online yard sale). The money I have made has paid for all the Christmas gifts (my kids and the 6 nieces and nephews I had to cover) plus a few extras that haven't been in the budget lately (like Thanksgiving dinner).

Every month around here is tight, the new job was a pay-cut, but we are just thankful he is working again. Unless we can pay cash, we go without and every cent is going to pay off the cc bills we accumulated while DH was looking for a new job. So if selling the clothes my kids have outgrown rather than donating them for the time being is what I have to do to give my kids a nice Christmas after the crummy year they have had, then that is what I'm going to do.

 

[ban26ana]

I don't understand why some people care so much about what others do. Once you give a gift, it's theirs to do as they please. Technically, if you give me baby clothes, I could set them on fire.

And to complain about people selling clothes at a garage sale? Um, again. The clothes belong to them.

I have been through heck and back financially. I'm just now getting back on my feet. I would go to Goodwill and put back a $3 shirt for myself because it was too expensive. Yard sales were absolute lifesavers. I went to one where you could fill a Walmart bag with clothes for $3. I broke down and cried, because I could have a wardrobe for my kids.

Thankfully we're back on our feet from the huge pay cut my dh had to take. I'm still a bargain hunter though. I know a job loss could put us right back in the same position, so I save money wherever I can. If I can pay $0.50 for a shirt instead of $5, you bet your bippy I'm buying the $0.50 one.