"Back in the day" an adult would tell you to speak to your parents about such things because they knew that certain topics were for parents to decide about. There is nothing wrong or sad about that.
Back in the day, no one told my grandmother ANYTHING about her body. She thought she was DYING when she had her first period, and told no one. She was horrified, terrified, concerned....
As a result, she told her children all she could.
Augh I hate this back in the day "we all lived in Mrs Cleaver's made up didn't exist anywhere except for TV" world....
He "should" have already learned the basics in "the class"..
What if he wants more than the basics? Why can't he ask? Why isn't he allowed to find out more?
I am curious about the questions. Scientific questions could be answered simply and factually. Questions about side effects, emotions, fertility, etc are a different matter.
Those things aren't scientific? You can't discuss the hormones that cause various emotions, that result in puffiness, you can't discuss fertility and infertility.
This isn't female-related, but it's related to this in a way...hubby and I haven't been able to get a second baby going. After 3+ years of idiot doctors ignoring his symptoms that he's been asking them to check out, he finally got to one who ran the bloodwork, even though he felt it was unnecessary.
Found a prolactinoma. Something has caused hubby's pituitary gland to create a growth that it pumping out prolactin (nursing hormone), which then causes his testosterone to go to almost zero. The symptoms he's been having these last 3+ years are because of that.
Infertility, fertility...it's all hormones, and hormones are scientific. They do certain things. They interact with each other, interfere with each other, they are freakin' fascinating (if I didn't have to go to medical school to become an endocrinologist JUST to have the knowledge, I'd enroll in a heartbeat). And they are science, and related to the woman's (and man's!) body.
You really can't see any questions coming up here which might relate to values? See what I bolded above.
No.
See now if my kid was 6 and asked you about it for whatever reason I would not want you to give them this explanation. I don't care if we were close friends or not. That would be my job to explain it to my child. I also would not give such in depth information to a 6 year old. I am not saying it is wrong, I just don't feel it is something they need to know to that extent.
That is where it comes in that some conversations are not appropriate to be having with other people's kids.
The kid's not 6. Given how my 5 year old reacts as I start to answer more than he has asked, any 6 year old would likely have run away before Darsa got too in depth...
True--even though what Darsa did might have been good for the boy, I much preferred in that boys didn't know what was going on in my body each month in middle school or high school.
If they need to know anything--just that it happens is sufficient. But as a teen, I would have personally been mortified if my mother had a detailed discussion about "that" with a boy I knew let alone my boyfriend.
Granted, my family wasn't very respectful of that anyway. I recall when my stepfather would embarrass me in a store when we had to go get more maxi pads. So the less other boys knew about it the better. Even if they were gentlemen about it.
Regardless of how normal a bodily function is--I preferred pretending it was me and only me suffering.
It must have been os hard living with a stepfather who basically made fun of you. My first stepdad was really in your face like that. Not fun. Embarrassing.
I realized how much better it was to just be "this is it, here I am" when in my 20s, in chiro school, and I finally decided that dangit, I was GOING to buy those tampons AND that chocolate bar AND those salted peanuts, I was going ot buy them from that teenager at the store, and I was going to look him in the eyes and not be embarrassed by it! Ahhh, better!
At 14 I wouldn't see a need for this type of conversation as it would have already been covered with most girls. I would not want you having that conversation with my sons either at any age.
Why are you holding the info back from your sons? you said it would have been covered with most girls...why not boys?
If a 14 year old typically functioning boy doesn't know that babies come from a fertilized egg, and how that egg is fertilized, I'd be glad he would come asking questions!
Especially if he was dating my daughter!
Seriously!
OK after saying in my first post that it pains me how little people know...this is what happened with me.
In the year before our wedding, we knew we'd want to try for babies. And I decided that I had been so embarrassed growing up that I didn't really know what all was happening. I thought I knew, but I wanted to make sure.
I bought Taking Charge of your Own Fertility. And...was stunned.
That stuff that the body makes when you are fertile...yeah...I thought that was a sign that the egg was GONE. I thought that meant INfertile time.
I was SO SO SO lucky. I never did anything overly stupid, and I got started later on (21) once I could answer the question "if I got pg what would I do" without freaking out (seriously, I waited until then!), but still...had a boyfriend or two that it would have been a horrible idea to have kids with them...and I had the fertile period ALL wrong. Exactly opposite of right.
If I had a teenager right now, regardless of what I wanted him to do or not be doing, regardless of what I thought I had hammered into him values-wise (I remember when my mom mentioned that she had "raised us" to not do the deed until marriage...I actually asked "when exactly were those conversations?"...I was still innocent at the time, but seriously, she'd NEVER mentioned that EVER), I would really really really want the teens to know when the girl was more likely to be fertile and when, most importantly, she was more likely to NOT BE. it's really good info to have! (along with knowing that there are no guarantees, as anyone whose system seems to work correctly but is having no luck with being pg, and anyone who had a surprise whoops knows as well)
There have been numerous people who said there should be no need for him to ask questions because he should have had health class by now. I didn't quote anyone.
My son just looked at both of us and was like "guess you haven't been around a high school lately!"
. I am sure no more questions came to mind after they talked about it in school--right.
I can't even begin to imagine why he would approach this subject with his GF's mother..
Sorry, I'm just fascinated that this bothers people so much.
He wasn't in the picture to do this until 8th grade. Thank goodness. I didn't have to have my first with him around. It was mortifying enough to go to my mom. For some reason I didn't freak out, but I have no memory of a discussion with her ahead of that or really much memory of my health classes. I know we got separated for a talk in 5th grade. But I just don't know. I just knew what was happening and went and asked for what I needed.
).
) minority !
