Duggar surprise?

[MissyDVC]

Wow I would love to hear your definition of sheltered!!!!!
The only thing less sheltered would be someone in solitary confinement.

The have no freedom none!, Name me one of the constitutional; freedoms those children are allowed? (using those as a starting point)

I just can not grasp how you do not think they are sheltered!

I agree with you as well.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Do "they" use guns or it is only allowable for the males? Do the girls also use guns and hunt or practice shooting?

Well shoot--you didn't specify.

I don't know. But I did as you asked. I just recall the infamous photo. I do know the girls can change a tire.

It seems your definition of sheltered is "more restrictive than I would be".

I don't know anyone one step above solitary confinement that gets to jump out of airplanes. But that isn't a constitutional right.

The girls do wear makeup. But that is a girl thing. Darn that sexist attitude again.

I'm not really going to go to town with you on this. You are using hyperbole and can't admit it. You are using extreme inflammatory statements to prove your point.

In the end, these parents are raising their children as they see fit much in the same way that you are or will be permitted to do when you have children.

We raise my children in how they will go. It is reckless not to do that for any parent. Now how we do it may differ from how you or the neighbor or the Duggars do it, but that is OUR right as parents. You don't have to like it of course. YMMV. But until there is a constitutional amendment banning the activity--then there ain't a thing you can or should be able to do about it.

Not sure why it causes you to get all bent out of shape. It is often hysterical when supposedly "tolerant" people are hypocritically intolerant.

 

[pigletgirl]

They are extremely sheltered. Those kids do not have the ability to think for themselves! They cannot question anything. What mom and dad believe is the only way of life for them. How restricting! Just a sad way of life.

 

[VickiVM]

Different - yes. Makes decisions I would never - yes. Believes a little differently than I do - yep.

But the way I see it...Duggar family seem to be giving more to this world than they are taking (and I'm not refering to their carbon footprint). Maybe others know this family more intimately and can comment about the everyday minutae of their day and how horribly warped their children will be. But I can't justify that judgment from what I've observed.

 

[need2cruise]

If you don't think Josh and Anna's marriage was arranged, you are fooling yourself. OF COURSE it was arranged. He was presented with a very short list of acceptable brides and told to pick one. He met her less than a half dozen times at homeschool events before she was singled out as the one he would marry. The whole "courtship" bit is just a formality because God forbid they should "court" and not decide to marry. She would be considered damaged goods in that society.

There is a difference between trying to instill your values in your child and competely cutting them off from other ways of thinking and doing things. I am raising my daughter to be a good person. That is my only goal. I want her to be happy and to marry someone who will be good to her and make her happy, or to be happy on her own. I don't get to tell her which career path to follow, who to marry, how many kids to have, ect. I can tell her what I think and share my experiences, but ultimately, these are her decisions and she will know when that time gets here that she has choices. These kids don't have any choices of thier own.

I didn't realize his marriage was arranged! I don't watch it near enough (maybe 1-2 times a year). I stand corrected then, but at least when you see them look at each other, they look totally in love with each other. If they love each other that much, is it a bad thing for them?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I didn't realize his marriage was arranged! I don't watch it near enough (maybe 1-2 times a year). I stand corrected then.

Well he certainly didn't pick her up in a bar.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Different - yes. Makes decisions I would never - yes. Believes a little differently than I do - yep.

But the way I see it...Duggar family seem to be giving more to this world than they are taking (and I'm not refering to their carbon footprint). Maybe others know this family more intimately and can comment about the everyday minutae of their day and how horribly warped their children will be. But I can't justify that judgment from what I've observed.

I say yes to all the same questions as well.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Well he certainly didn't pick her up in a bar.

I almost choked on my drink because of this. Best laugh I've had all day!

 

[Andtototoo]

Different - yes. Makes decisions I would never - yes. Believes a little differently than I do - yep.

But the way I see it...Duggar family seem to be giving more to this world than they are taking (and I'm not refering to their carbon footprint).

Just what are they giving to the world?

How are they in service to anyone outside of their own tribe?

 

[pigletgirl]

They're giving to the world because TLC tells them too, and in so they get filmed doing it. Thats all.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Just what are they giving to the world?

How are they in service to anyone outside of their own tribe?

You really have no idea, do you?

They do mission trips--or has that escaped your observation? Okay--sure they discuss the topic that shall not be named, but they also provide a valuable service when they go.

No different than when my church goes on their missions that help provide education (Reading, Writing, Arithmetic kind of education) to areas that do not have schools--we (my parish) build them and pay for the teachers and the supplies needed to have a school. We (my parish) also provide medical and dental missions. We also do a VBS over the summer and go and play with the kids. (again--my parish, I have no personally gone, but it is members from my church and I have assisted financially in the past). On some of the missions--we help construct things.

Another mission group my daughter has participated in, but only on a local level does all sorts of missions that help serve people in poorer nations. I cannot even begin to describe the magnitude of what they do. But they help with construction, basic skills, fellowship and other activities that serves others.

What I have seen the Duggars do on the episodes where the go on mission trips is no different than any other mission trips that I am familiar with. How can you claim they don't serve people. I can understand the very stretched biased opinions on them--but that is just being blind to not acknowledge that they do good for others.

On the home front, you have your volunteer first responders and other volunteer activities.

So yes--I have seen and heard of them "serving outside their own tribe".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I almost choked on my drink because of this. Best laugh I've had all day!

Glad to oblige.

 

[need2cruise]

Well he certainly didn't pick her up in a bar.

Well heck--then I guess my marriage was "arranged" because I was only limited to those I knew in my social circle. My darn parent's weren't able to take me all over the world and introduce me to thousands of different men so I could make my choice!!

My definition of "arranged marriage", you are told WHO you are marrying...period.........not introduced to a few people while you make your selection. Heck, then we are all in some sort of an arranged marriage based on that mentality.

ETA: This is all said in a joking tone!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well heck--then I guess my marriage was "arranged" because I was only limited to those I knew in my social circle. My darn parent's weren't able to take me all over the world and introduce me to thousands of different men so I could make my choice!!

My definition of "arranged marriage", you are told WHO you are marrying...period.........not introduced to a few people while you make your selection. Heck, then we are all in some sort of an arranged marriage based on that mentality.

It seems definitions are pretty loose around here.

I would agree with your definition and I don't believe for one second they are outright told who they will marry. Anna is far too smitten with Josh during the umm...hand holding period for that to have been a command.

While my husband's friend had an "arranged" marriage--it was kind of more like the latter of your scenario. Neither was told that they had to marry one another. It was just something they considered and it worked out. I kind of call it "partially arranged".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

ETA: This is all said in a joking tone!!

(I understood!)

 

[need2cruise]

(I understood!)

Good!!

 

[DianeV]

I havent seen footage of these missionary trips but I have to wonder if part of their agenda is also being able to spread their beliefs and get more followers? Like I said I havent seen firsthand so I am only speculating but it seems with groups like these that is their first agenda

And really there is a huge difference between the kind of sheltering that goes on with these kids and what the average person has. Seriously of course my parents wanted the best for me and of course I want the best for my kids and I sure give my opinions but I am not going to tell there who they are allowed to fall in love with and I am not going to tell them which 'occupations' they are allowed to persue in this 'college' that they are only allowed to go to..

I want my kids to know the whole world is at their footsteps and it is open to them to make their own choices. We have to let them grow up sometime and maybe that is the issue with the Duggars. Growing up to them means marrying a fellow worshiper, choosing from a few 'occupations' that are allowed (at least for the girls) and then having a bunch of kids.

I want better for my kids. I want them to make their own choices and also their own choices regligiously too

 

[SaraJayne]

That would be hard to do as I am judged for sheltering my kids. And my kids have a much different life than the Duggar clan which includes dancing, tv, and pants.

IMHO--you and others are using the most extreme definition of sheltered and have absolutely no room for anything in between. Your defintion is hyperbole.


They use guns. That's one.

If you don't agree to the Duggar's being sheltered, would you agree they are insulated from mainstream society?

I think that word better describes their life.

 

[herdtoDisney]

If you don't think Josh and Anna's marriage was arranged, you are fooling yourself. OF COURSE it was arranged. He was presented with a very short list of acceptable brides and told to pick one. He met her less than a half dozen times at homeschool events before she was singled out as the one he would marry. The whole "courtship" bit is just a formality because God forbid they should "court" and not decide to marry. She would be considered damaged goods in that society.

.

Wow. Were you privy to your scenario? How do you have factual information about a supposed 'short list'?

Maybe...it happened just like they said, where he met her at a homeschool convention. It's plausible, considering that there are presumably young people at those. Just like sometimes young people meet at work, or at church-anywhere they gather. I have never seen or heard of anything to support your assertation of a short list and arranged marriage.

You see more wild accusations in this thread... I don't even care for ATI myself but some stuff here is off the wall.

 

[VickiVM]

I havent seen footage of these missionary trips but I have to wonder if part of their agenda is also being able to spread their beliefs and get more followers? Like I said I havent seen firsthand so I am only speculating but it seems with groups like these that is their first agenda

And really there is a huge difference between the kind of sheltering that goes on with these kids and what the average person has. Seriously of course my parents wanted the best for me and of course I want the best for my kids and I sure give my opinions but I am not going to tell there who they are allowed to fall in love with and I am not going to tell them which 'occupations' they are allowed to persue in this 'college' that they are only allowed to go to..

I want my kids to know the whole world is at their footsteps and it is open to them to make their own choices. We have to let them grow up sometime and maybe that is the issue with the Duggars. Growing up to them means marrying a fellow worshiper, choosing from a few 'occupations' that are allowed (at least for the girls) and then having a bunch of kids.

I want better for my kids. I want them to make their own choices and also their own choices regligiously too

I really don't want to cross the "Religious" boundary with the mods, but at the core of most Christian beliefs is that they reach out to others and share the Gospel...by witnessing, good works (mission work), praying for others, etc. So yes, what I've bolded above is essentially an "agenda" for Christians of all varieties.

And as to the reference of marriage...I think most Christians, including mainstream faiths, want their children to marry someone who share the same beliefs.

I have missed the episodes where it was revealed which career choices and colleges were off limits.