Duggar surprise?

[T*Bird]

I was just looking at the Duggar family website, and I could have sworn they used to have a section for comments. I remember reading some after Josie's birth and being surprised that so many comments critical of the Duggars were actually shown. But now I don't see any place on the website for comments. I think the site would have exploded with all the criticism they would have gotten from the latest news!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

And therein lies the hypocrisy, which is the root of my issues with this family.

It does seem rather contradictory, right? I can only imagine the money they're earning. It used to be just an update here and there but now they have weekly shows and season finales. Reminds me of another reality tv family with a bunch of kids...Jon and Kate + 8. We all know how THAT turned out. When did using your children for money become an acceptable form of parenting? And frankly, the episode where little Josie was born really just sealed the deal for me that they will film anything for profit. Her birth should've been private, given her extreme premature state. And it should've been private when the kids first came to see her, several of them started crying. It just smacked of a ratings draw and I thought what will they do if that sweet, precious baby dies? Show that as well?

 

[need2cruise]

I am not a Duggar fan but I did used to watch the show and only seem to turn it on now if I find time to watch tv and there is nothing else on.

However, the pp's who keep saying Jimbob "knows what he wants for his daughters"......well, don't we ALL know what we would think is suitable for our daughters for marriage? There was a thread at some point in the past this year about potential suiters for your children because one comment stood out to me about one poster wanted her daughter to find someone who felt for her like the lyrics in a popular song at the time (the song where the guy is singing about take a bullet to the head for you).... How is that different? I mean, if your child is dating someone who you are not happy with or you feel is a bad person, would you not speak up to them?

Also, we ALL guide our children how we see fit. Heck, even if I don't agree with all of the Duggars choices, I find myself disagreeing with some of the posters on here and the things they post about how they are raising their children.

I didn't see Josh get a prearranged marriage and he seems happy as well as his wife with their family........

 

[PaulaSB12]

And therein lies the hypocrisy, which is the root of my issues with this family.

The hypocracy of this pair of parents is that THEY chose where to go to college, THEY chose what they studied but this is a choice their children don't get to make.

 

[pigletgirl]

Its sad to see their children dont truly have a choice for their lives. Its what mom and dad want which is disgusting IMO. I feel sorry for all the kids, but especially the girls.

 

[princessmom29]

I am not a Duggar fan but I did used to watch the show and only seem to turn it on now if I find time to watch tv and there is nothing else on.

However, the pp's who keep saying Jimbob "knows what he wants for his daughters"......well, don't we ALL know what we would think is suitable for our daughters for marriage? There was a thread at some point in the past this year about potential suiters for your children because one comment stood out to me about one poster wanted her daughter to find someone who felt for her like the lyrics in a popular song at the time (the song where the guy is singing about take a bullet to the head for you).... How is that different? I mean, if your child is dating someone who you are not happy with or you feel is a bad person, would you not speak up to them?

Also, we ALL guide our children how we see fit. Heck, even if I don't agree with all of the Duggars choices, I find myself disagreeing with some of the posters on here and the things they post about how they are raising their children.

I didn't see Josh get a prearranged marriage and he seems happy as well as his wife with their family........

If you don't think Josh and Anna's marriage was arranged, you are fooling yourself. OF COURSE it was arranged. He was presented with a very short list of acceptable brides and told to pick one. He met her less than a half dozen times at homeschool events before she was singled out as the one he would marry. The whole "courtship" bit is just a formality because God forbid they should "court" and not decide to marry. She would be considered damaged goods in that society.

There is a difference between trying to instill your values in your child and competely cutting them off from other ways of thinking and doing things. I am raising my daughter to be a good person. That is my only goal. I want her to be happy and to marry someone who will be good to her and make her happy, or to be happy on her own. I don't get to tell her which career path to follow, who to marry, how many kids to have, ect. I can tell her what I think and share my experiences, but ultimately, these are her decisions and she will know when that time gets here that she has choices. These kids don't have any choices of thier own.

 

[princessmom29]

Its sad to see their children dont truly have a choice for their lives. Its what mom and dad want which is disgusting IMO. I feel sorry for all the kids, but especially the girls.

Me too. They have spent thier entire lives playing servant to the baby factory that is thier mother, only to end up as a baby factory themselves.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The hypocracy of this pair of parents is that THEY chose where to go to college, THEY chose what they studied but this is a choice their children don't get to make.

Why is it hypocrisy if we rear our children in a different way than we were raised?

There are things that I did in childhood and as a teen and as a young adult that won't be the same for my kids. But our circumstances are very different and as adults *we* are the parents and decide what to do for our kids and "allow" them to do.

While what we did as kids may impact how we raise our kids--it is both the negative and positive experiences that impact what we do.

It is no less hypocritical than anything you did as a kid but learned and try to do differently with your own.

You can pretend that it is different--but it is only different because they choose to rear their children differently than you do. People don't like different and they hide behind the fact that the Duggars are on television to justify their contempt.

You don't have to like what they do. But if you have the freedom to choose how you raise your children, it is hypocritical to condemn how they raise theirs.

I certainly do not raise my kids like the Duggar family.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If you don't think Josh and Anna's marriage was arranged, you are fooling yourself. OF COURSE it was arranged. He was presented with a very short list of acceptable brides and told to pick one. He met her less than a half dozen times at homeschool events before she was singled out as the one he would marry. The whole "courtship" bit is just a formality because God forbid they should "court" and not decide to marry. She would be considered damaged goods in that society.

There is a difference between trying to instill your values in your child and competely cutting them off from other ways of thinking and doing things. I am raising my daughter to be a good person. That is my only goal. I want her to be happy and to marry someone who will be good to her and make her happy, or to be happy on her own. I don't get to tell her which career path to follow, who to marry, how many kids to have, ect. I can tell her what I think and share my experiences, but ultimately, these are her decisions and she will know when that time gets here that she has choices. These kids don't have any choices of thier own.

I still don't understand why folks find what two consenting adults do as so troublesome.

The best man at our wedding was in an arranged marriage. A more modern style--it certainly wasn't by force and neither was it with Josh and Anna. But the courtship was done in a similar way. They are very happy and they let their daughters wear pants.

 

[princessmom29]

I still don't understand why folks find what two consenting adults do as so troublesome.

The best man at our wedding was in an arranged marriage. A more modern style--it certainly wasn't by force and neither was it with Josh and Anna. But the courtship was done in a similar way. They are very happy and they let their daughters wear pants.

Sorry, but I don't think they were given much of a real choice. If you have never been inside the kind of situation they are in you don't realize how all consuming it is . You are taught from birth that if you don't toe the line and do exactly as expected you are going to be ostricized and doomed to hell. That is all these kids know. I know there are many that will argue that they are exposed ot this and that, but only within the confines of thier family unit. They see what their parents want them to see, and believe what they are told abotu what they have seen. It is really, really hard to go agianst that when it is all you know, and you have been taught that the outside world is corrupt horrible place and the only safe place is exaclty where you are told to be. Yes, ultimately they could decide to go agianst thier parents butthat would mean leaving e3verything they know, and few would have the courage to do so it that situation. They are PURPOSELY kept sheltered and not equipped with the emotional stability and life skills to leave.

 

[iheartdisney]

Sorry, but I don't think they were given much of a real choice. If you have never been inside the kind of situation they are in you don't realize how all consuming it is . You are taught from birth that if you don't toe the line and do exactly as expected you are going to be ostricized and doomed to hell. That is all these kids know. I know there are many that will argue that they are exposed ot this and that, but only within the confines of thier family unit. They see what their parents want them to see, and believe what they are told abotu what they have seen. It is really, really hard to go agianst that when it is all you know, and you have been taught that the outside world is corrupt horrible place and the only safe place is exaclty where you are told to be. Yes, ultimately they could decide to go agianst thier parents butthat would mean leaving e3verything they know, and few would have the courage to do so it that situation. They are PURPOSELY kept sheltered and not equipped with the emotional stability and life skills to leave.

Inquiring minds want to know from what cult you escaped?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry, but I don't think they were given much of a real choice. If you have never been inside the kind of situation they are in you don't realize how all consuming it is . You are taught from birth that if you don't toe the line and do exactly as expected you are going to be ostricized and doomed to hell. That is all these kids know. I know there are many that will argue that they are exposed ot this and that, but only within the confines of thier family unit. They see what their parents want them to see, and believe what they are told abotu what they have seen. It is really, really hard to go agianst that when it is all you know, and you have been taught that the outside world is corrupt horrible place and the only safe place is exaclty where you are told to be. Yes, ultimately they could decide to go agianst thier parents butthat would mean leaving e3verything they know, and few would have the courage to do so it that situation. They are PURPOSELY kept sheltered and not equipped with the emotional stability and life skills to leave.

I disagree that they are sheltered. You really don't know what they are or are not equipped with other than they perhaps are raised differently than you were as was I as was other posters as was your neighbor. It is quite the leap to presume they are ill equipped to survive in the world.

I find that in many ways they are more equipped than even you or I.

Of course you will disagree.

 

[DianeV]

How can you say they are not sheltered when they are homeschooled, are only allowed to socialize with others with their beliefs, have to take care of all the other kids, are pretty much told who they will marry and what they can take for 'college' from a limited choice??

That is not sheltered?

 

[princessmom29]

Inquiring minds want to know from what cult you escaped?

for many years, my parents, and as result, my sister and I, were part of a very restrcitive church that had beliefs similar to the Duggars on many things. ATI, Gothard, ect were all parts to some degree. There was a little it of variation amoung the members at first, but as it got more restrictive, my parents distanced us and eventually left. While they didn't push quiverfull at the time they picked it up after we left.

 

[princessmom29]

I disagree that they are sheltered. You really don't know what they are or are not equipped with other than they perhaps are raised differently than you were as was I as was other posters as was your neighbor. It is quite the leap to presume they are ill equipped to survive in the world.

I find that in many ways they are more equipped than even you or I.

Of course you will disagree.

See above. I KNOW what they are living. Have you ever been inside one of these communities to KNOW what they are pushing? I have. I know what I see on the show, and, especially in the early years, what i saw was children only eqqupied to parrot the beliefs of thier parents and abide by thier decisions. They are playing down that angle now, but I have no doubt when the rubber hits the road, it is still the expectation. I think they could survive in the world, but are being emotionally blackmailed into staying. They are taught that leaving is a betraly of everyone they love and abandonment of their faith and their God. It takes a strong person to stand up to that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

How can you say they are not sheltered when they are homeschooled, are only allowed to socialize with others with their beliefs, have to take care of all the other kids, are pretty much told who they will marry and what they can take for 'college' from a limited choice??

That is not sheltered?

No--

to some degree we all shelter our children.

I'm pretty sure that you will think I am abusing my own children by "sheltering" them. But since we homeschool---OF COURSE we migrate to groups of similar interests and beliefs. There are all kinds of groups out there and MOST that I have had access to, in many ways are for a particular belief system. ETA: And it is all sorts of belief systems. I won't join certain groups, because I am either not welcome, or their beliefs are so contradictory to my own. This is not a bad thing. Same reason that you may join whatever "groups" you join for your own personal benefit.
The kids do interact with those of different beliefs on the show. Unless they are only going to particular screened mission camps where all are of the same belief system and restrictions.

My children are also "limited" on their college choices. And that is because we are providing the payment for the tuition. We bought into Florida pre-pay, so they will pretty much be "stuck" going within the SUS of Florida. Sure--not quite as limited as the Duggars, but limited none the less.

As it is--people hear "homeschool' and they are automatically influenced to feel they are sheltered regardless of the rest of what they do. In fact--it is the first thing you mention which shows incredible bias.

My family does the same thing. They presume my kids are sheltered. Oh well. Not their kids to raise.

 

[Hannathy]

I disagree that they are sheltered. You really don't know what they are or are not equipped with other than they perhaps are raised differently than you were as was I as was other posters as was your neighbor. It is quite the leap to presume they are ill equipped to survive in the world.

I find that in many ways they are more equipped than even you or I.

Of course you will disagree.

Wow I would love to hear your definition of sheltered!!!!!
The only thing less sheltered would be someone in solitary confinement.

The have no freedom none!, Name me one of the constitutional; freedoms those children are allowed? (using those as a starting point)

I just can not grasp how you do not think they are sheltered!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wow I would love to hear your definition of sheltered!!!!!
The only thing less sheltered would be someone in solitary confinement.

The have no freedom none!, Name me one of the constitutional; freedoms those children are allowed? (using those as a starting point)

I just can not grasp how you do not think they are sheltered!

That would be hard to do as I am judged for sheltering my kids. And my kids have a much different life than the Duggar clan which includes dancing, tv, and pants.

IMHO--you and others are using the most extreme definition of sheltered and have absolutely no room for anything in between. Your defintion is hyperbole.


They use guns. That's one.

 

[Coconut36]

Wow I would love to hear your definition of sheltered!!!!!
The only thing less sheltered would be someone in solitary confinement.

The have no freedom none!, Name me one of the constitutional; freedoms those children are allowed? (using those as a starting point)

I just can not grasp how you do not think they are sheltered!

I totally agree with you. I can't see how anyone could possibly define them as anything but sheltered..extremely sheltered and extremely controlled as well.

 

[Coconut36]

That would be hard to do as I am judged for sheltering my kids. And my kids have a much different life than the Duggar clan which includes dancing, tv, and pants.

IMHO--you and others are using the most extreme definition of sheltered and have absolutely no room for anything in between. Your defintion is hyperbole.


They use guns. That's one.

Do "they" use guns or it is only allowable for the males? Do the girls also use guns and hunt or practice shooting?