Do you ever worry that maybe your children...

[Sheree Bobbins]

...won't talk to each other when they're grown-up adults. Won't get along with each other anymore. We have rifts in our families and it seems inevitable if the children are not compatible.

For now, we never force them to get along. There is a 6 year age gap and so they are quite independent of each other.

I don't know, sometimes this question makes me go "hmmm."

 

[MoniqueU]

Yes I worry about it. My oldest son and my younger daughter get along quite well. IT's my middle daughter that gets them both riled up and can't seem to get along with either one of them for more then 10 minutes. I wonder if it will be that way when they are adults or if they will all settle into a truce?

 

[GailT]

no worries here..I just have one son but that was always a worry of my mom and dad...they are both gone but I still talk to my brother, not everyday but we still talk

 

[ilovepcot]

DH has 2 siblings and all 3 of them are 5 years apart. They had nothing in common growing up (too far apart in ages) so they're basically strangers now. He's much closer to friends than to his brother and sister. Sad.

 

[Sandy V.]

Yeah, sometimes I think about it.

Ours are 2 years apart and are 18 and almost 16 so when they inevitably squabble like cats and dogs, it does worry me. We deliberately had them close together in age (and were fortunate enough not to have fertility issues, etc.) so that they would have a common childhood and many shared memories of home. I realize that's not always possible, though.

On the other hand, when DD and I left for a college visit, both she and I nearly fell over when DS hugged his sis before we left that morning. So maybe there's some hope!! Actually, they're getting along pretty well right now, so I'm not complaining!

 

[azgal81]

My brother is about 2 1/2 years younger then me. Growing up we hated each other but then once I got to be about 15 or 16 we became pretty close. We are both in our twenties now and live 3000 miles apart but we still call and he will come visit me. I don't think you can force siblings to get along you can just hope they will talk to each other as they get older. I don't think there will ever be a point when I don't talk to my brother.

 

[barkley]

i honestly am quite certain that when my mother passes away it is unlikely i will have any regular communication with my 3 siblings. we were never that close as kids (i'm the youngest with a 6 to 16 year older age difference between me and sibs), and have always led very different lives (i have kids neither of the other 3 do, we have no common interests, we're just entirely different people). the only time we communicate now is about my mom, the only time we get together (and now never all 4 at the same time because of some family issues) is when mom is at my house.

i think my kids will be close as adults-they are each other's best friends outside school (dd 11 1/2, ds is 9) and despite the normal brother/sister dynamics they realy enjoy each others company.

if they are'nt close as adults i don't think i will stress over it-i realised a long time ago that it was o.k. for me not to feel guilt/personal responisiblity over the fact that myself and my sibs are not close. i finaly had to ask myself if i were'nt related to each of them would i have any inclination to be in their company-in all 3 cases it was a resounding "no".

 

[DVCJEN]

DH and his brother are 4 years apart. Nothing in common. He only lives 40 miles away and we have not seen him in at least 3 or 4 years. It's sad but that seems to be the norm in DH's extended family. DH couldn't even name his aunts and uncles on his Dad's side of the family when we got married.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I don't worry about it- but I don't know if there's a way to predict or prevent it, anyway. My sister and I fought all the time as kids, but get along great now. My brother and I got along as kids- barely speak now .

 

[froglady]

I have 4 brothers and have very little to do with any of them. When DM dies, I'm not sure if the relationships will continue at all, as when they come to visit her, they stay with me. Otherwide, I would never see them.

Two of my brothers get along a little better with each other, as they live closer together, but I don't think brother #2 talks to brother #1 at all. I was looking through old wedding photos, and only brother #2 (groom) and brothers #3 & #4 (groomsmen) are in them.

DH's sibs get along much better, but they work at it. A vacation reunion is planned every year; we plan it during the previous reunion. We e-mail on a weekly, or more frequently, schedule, and share photos, info, etc online.

 

[SeeDisney]

Yes, I have thought of that.

About a month ago, an older friend stated to me "Oh, I don't talk to my brother at all, haven't in over 30 years!"

I was just saddened to hear that and hope that won't be the case with my four.

Just sad.

 

[MinnieM3]

I don't worry about this. I've been very lucky in this respect. DD and DS are 3 years apart and very close. they always have been. Now little DS6 came way after them, 10 years after DS and 13 after DD. He and DS are very close and I think will remain so. DD is another story.... she loves little DS but is not "interested" in his life right now.... to her, the world revolves around her and her alone. UGH

 

[punkin]

My sister and I are almost 9 years apart and have nothing in common as far as our interests. We were never close as children and she married and moved out when I was only 10 yo. We now live 1000 miles away from each other, but since our mother died, we speak on the phone almost daily and try to see each other at least once every 3 months. She is always at my house for New Year's and I make it to her house at least once a summer. I just bought her and my niece tickets to come see me in April (thank you DING).

We only have each other and that's worth a lot to us. There is no one else in this world who remembers our mother and grandmother the way we do. We share a common bond that surmounts everyday things like common interests.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

My girls are almost 5 years apart and fight like typcial siblings but love each other very much. I do hope they remain close. I have 3 sisters and after the big blowup at Thanksgiving I don't speak to any of them - nor do I care to ever again. My girls unfortunately witnessed my sister's cruelty and cattiness first hand so they don't care for their Aunts either. I did tell my girls that I hope that they never treat each other they way that my sisters treated me.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, it's not something you can or should force. My DSIL has an evil twin, and DMIL forced the good one to include the evil one in all of her activities. DMIL wouldn't let the good one go to a party unless she schlepped the evil one along. Now that they are adults, there is a huge amount of resentment there, and, while they speak, it is usually very tense.

My DB & I are 5 years apart, and while we don't talk every day, we are clsoe insofar as we both know if the other needed anything we'd be right there.

 

[gradtchr]

I hope that I never lose touch with my brothers at any point in my life but only time will tell.

 

[ElizaB39]

I don't worry, you can't force it, and I just hope it will stay as good as it is now.

 

[Stacerita]

The sweetpea is an only child so we dont have that issue right now.

When my brother and I were younger I can bet my parents worried about this alot. Im older and we are only 25 months apart (those were the best 25 months of my life I tell him). We always argued, bickered, fought and generally didn't like each other so much. Dads fave punishment for us was the "hug". We had to sit side by side each other and hug each other for a specified amount of time. UGH, I used to hate that. Our not geting along lasted till I was almost out of high school. Now, we are best of friends. Our families spend lots of time together. We do things and hang out regularly. Talk all the time. Vacation together and such. He is more than a brother, he's a friend. Even when he is over seas we still keep in contact. We email, text, and call when we can. I dont think I could even go without talking to him. We are very lucky to have the friendship we have. My parents are just glad we dont fight anymore.

 

[rt2dz]

I actually do worry about that somewhat. Luckily, our boys love each other; they are good friends. But they are also still very little.

I'm #3 of 4. One sister, #2, is just not the type of person I'd be friends with. I have contact with her only because she is my sister. I really don't think I'll talk to her much after my parents (mom mainly) are gone. And we actually live pretty close. My other sister and brother feel the same way.

Now, I don't talk to my brother all that often, but somehow we are still close. I think once my parents are gone, we'll probably talk a lot more. Same with my oldest sister, although we do talk a few times a month and email. Of course, I was close to these two growing up.

DH talks to his brothers often, but they don't really "get" each other. It's more like occasionally he needs help with something they have expertise in and vice versa. When that ends, I think his relationship with them will end too. He disagrees though.

You can't force your kids to be friends. What will be will be. You can just do your best to foster a good relationship and hope for the best in the end.

 

[Poohgirl]

Yes I do worry. My boys, DS(8), DS(9) are a only a year apart and are like water and oil. Never get along, never have. I always assumed they would be close, they couldn't be more different. I just look on the bright side and hope that as they get older they will learn to appreciate each other. Can't get much worse!