Curious for opinions

[dejr_8]

I would suggest contacting the Commanding Officer because I believe this individual (who is eventually going to send men into harms way) needs to learn a life lesson.

I would not however attempt to recover the money. That unfortunately is a life lesson for your daughter.

 

[NHdisneylover]

there is a system in AZ called justice court, but i do not know where OP is from...........even so i cannot imagine you can call in and get a conviction over the phone or by punching a situation in on the web...i mean the other party has to state their case, yes?........anyway........drop it. first of all its their prob.............and a grand is a pretty cheap life lesson.

Thanks. Someting like small claims courth then I guess. I cannot persoanlly see how the kid would be held liable for anything. He invited the girl to a dance and changed his mind. Not his fault her family went nuts spending money in the mean time. If a boy breaks up with a girl the week before prom I do not think the boy has to pay for her dress either.

And for the person who thought buying airfare for just a dance is bizarre, this is a very elite school and the honor (that you should have while attend there) and change to attend one of it functions as a guest is a once in a lifetime occurance for many people. If my DD had an chance to attend one of their functions, either with a serious boyfriend or someone she was a close friend to, I would let her jump all over that chance.

.

I could totally see it if it were a close friend or long time boyfriend and the airfare was just for the girl going. I cannot see it for a former boyfriend with whom you only two months ago reunited after a bad break up years prior and are just friends with--no matter how much time you spent with one another over Christmas.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That's some real fine officer material right there.

And for the person who thought buying airfare for just a dance is bizarre, this is a very elite school and the honor (that you should have while attend there) and chance to attend one of it functions as a guest is a once in a lifetime occurance for many people. If my DD had an chance to attend one of their functions, either with a serious boyfriend or someone she was a close friend to, I would let her jump all over that chance.

Like I said first, he's a shining example of real fine officer material. Would I want my DS or DD serving under someone who should have grown up quite a lot by the sophmore year at West Point, but is still acting like a punk kid - that would be a big hell NO!!

Honor is a VERY BIG thing with West Point. Flat out, he is not acting with honor in any way shape or form and that is something that his superiors at West Point would like to know, so that they can address it.

I knew someone would say that.

They are NOT boyfriend/girlfriend or really friends for that matter. I stand by my bizarre comment.

They knew the boy was a liar.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

 

[horseshowmom]

I dont think you are going to like my opinion, but well, you asked. I think the mother went WAY overboard if this daughter is college aged. How old is she, high school or older? The reason this kid doesnt want to go to the dance with her daughter is because of her. It was crazy to turn a dance invitation into a family vacation, it makes it weird and awkard for him. If I were him, I would RUN away from this family. What kid would not be horrified that his date has to bring along her family? The ONLY way this would be understood is if the girl is really young and still in high school. Then I would understrand why her mom would invite herself along.

I in NO WAY think he is liable for the 1000 bucks. He asked a girl to a dance, and offered to pay for the room. The mother decided to invite herself and other child along.

I don't dislike your opinion at all. I'm curious as to different peoples' reactions (or I wouldn't have posted ).

Mother in no way was going to be involved in their weekend. She was only going to be in NYC (the dance was at West Point).

They had actually known this boy for several years before he and the girl dated before. He also knew she wasn't going by herself and indicated that was fine (guess he changed his mind).

there is a system in AZ called justice court, but i do not know where OP is from...........even so i cannot imagine you can call in and get a conviction over the phone or by punching a situation in on the web...i mean the other party has to state their case, yes?........anyway........drop it. first of all its their prob.............and a grand is a pretty cheap life lesson.

No calling in. They actually would have him served in NY, and he would choose whether or not to show up for court. They have plenty of text messages and emails regarding his position on all of this.

That's some real fine officer material right there.

And for the person who thought buying airfare for just a dance is bizarre, this is a very elite school and the honor (that you should have while attend there) and change to attend one of it functions as a guest is a once in a lifetime occurance for many people. If my DD had an chance to attend one of their functions, either with a serious boyfriend or someone she was a close friend to, I would let her jump all over that chance.

Honor is a VERY BIG thing with West Point. Flat out, he is not acting with honor in any way shape or form and that is some thing that his superiors at West Point would like to know, so that they can address.

That was their perspective on the dance too. The boy is from our area, and they've known him for years - never dreamed he would pull something like this.

That's pretty much my take on it too. No honor here.

 

[robinb]

That's pretty much my take on it too. No honor here.

I don't know ... didn't you say that he was willing to pay the change fee on the airplane tickets? The fact that the family is what appears to be country bumpkins who have never been on a plane, feel that they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYE if they go and probably won't use the tickets to go someone else if they don't go is NOT HIS FAULT.

He invited her to the dance and he changed his mind all within 3 weeks. I would be honked off too, but it is not worth trying to ruin this kid's military career over.

 

[Sanchez]

That's some real fine officer material right there.

And for the person who thought buying airfare for just a dance is bizarre, this is a very elite school and the honor (that you should have while attend there) and chance to attend one of it functions as a guest is a once in a lifetime occurance for many people. If my DD had an chance to attend one of their functions, either with a serious boyfriend or someone she was a close friend to, I would let her jump all over that chance.

Like I said first, he's a shining example of real fine officer material. Would I want my DS or DD serving under someone who should have grown up quite a lot by the sophmore year at West Point, but is still acting like a punk kid - that would be a big hell NO!!

Honor is a VERY BIG thing with West Point. Flat out, he is not acting with honor in any way shape or form and that is something that his superiors at West Point would like to know, so that they can address it.

Pretty strong opinion based on information that passed from boy to girl to girl's mother to OP and then to us. You don't think that there may be more to this? He may very well not be an honorable person, but it is entirely possible that others in the chain of this story may not be honorable. Further, even if true is does not mean that this boy will not be officer material. Hopefully he will learn to be a leader by learning from his mistakes and the mistakes of others.

 

[cheermom1]

I don't know ... didn't you say that he was willing to pay the change fee on the airplane tickets? The fact that the family is what appears to be country bumpkins who have never been on a plane, feel that they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYE if they go and probably won't use the tickets to go someone else if they don't go is NOT HIS FAULT.

He invited her to the dance and he changed his mind all within 3 weeks. I would be honked off too, but it is not worth trying to ruin this kid's military career over.

I agree there is no way i could have ruining his future over something like this...and in my opinion the mom did go overboard in buying the tickets ..I would have waited till like a week or so b4 I had to fly just b/c I know young people and I would be afraid he'd change his mind..that was the first thought that went through my head..yeah I know it's a once in a life time thing, however I would drag it out long enough to see if he was serious..or I would have asked him buy everything and pay him back later if he was that serious he would have done that ..that way if he changed his mind he was holding the bag...Now while I wouldn't have expected him to pay for it, it would have given me an indication if how serious he was...

edited to add: we as adults are the ones that should remember that young kids will make mistakes and change their minds and need to proceed with caution when it comes to things like this..

 

[glitterkittyy]

He has indicated (through email) that he knows that he's responsible for the whole thing and that he would take care of "what was left" after she canceled the tickets (he indicated that she would get most of her money back after she canceled them). Apparently, he doesn't understand the concept of non-refundable tickets.

Sounds like he's trying very hard to be honorable. I don't think he's responsible for anything at all. But at most, just the airline ticket for his date. The fact that he agreed to pay, even if he does misunderstand, is admirable IMHO.

 

[horseshowmom]

I don't know ... didn't you say that he was willing to pay the change fee on the airplane tickets? The fact that the family is what appears to be country bumpkins who have never been on a plane, feel that they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYE if they go and probably won't use the tickets to go someone else if they don't go is NOT HIS FAULT.

He invited her to the dance and he changed his mind all within 3 weeks. I would be honked off too, but it is not worth trying to ruin this kid's military career over.

The tickets are non-refundable and can't be changed. They can use them for up to a year, but since they've never flown before, they aren't likely to in the future.

Pretty strong opinion based on information that passed from boy to girl to girl's mother to OP and then to us. You don't think that there may be more to this? He may very well not be an honorable person, but it is entirely possible that others in the chain of this story may not be honorable. Further, even if true is does not mean that this boy will not be officer material. Hopefully he will learn to be a leader by learning from his mistakes and the mistakes of others.

While I do understand your perspective, the facts are exactly as presented (I also realize that that's just my word, but it's true nonetheless). Believe me, the girl feels like an idiot, and I can assure you that this young man won't ever have the opportunity to fool her again.

 

[lil mermaid]

I wonder what his side of the story is ?

 

[Minnesota!]

I'd drop the whole thing, but I wouldn't even want the $1k back. I'd take my kids on a trip to NYC and show them a good time.

Ditto.

 

[horseshowmom]

Sounds like he's trying very hard to be honorable. I don't think he's responsible for anything at all. But at most, just the airline ticket for his date. The fact that he agreed to pay, even if he does misunderstand, is admirable IMHO.

He wasn't discussing it at all until he found out that the mother was considering contacting his CO.

The fact that the family is what appears to be country bumpkins who have never been on a plane, feel that they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYE if they go and probably won't use the tickets to go someone else if they don't go is NOT HIS FAULT.

I must take exception to the "country bumpkin" comment. Not sure exactly what was meant by that, but this is a very nice family. I don't find them to be particularly backwards just because they haven't had the opportunity to travel as much as I have or because they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYC.

It is, however, HIS FAULT that the tickets were purchased to start with. JMHO

 

[glitterkittyy]

Honestly, it sounds like the mom's mind is made up, and she plans to contact WP if the boy doesn't cough up the $1k. I think it's sad and unfortunate.

 

[dakcp2001]

I wonder what his side of the story is ?

I imagine it goes something like this : He asked a girl to a dance, then her mom contacts him to inform him she and her other child are coming along. At this point he starts to regret asking the daughter in the first place and gets totally overwhelmed. This fun dance event is now a stressful family event, and he realizes that asking this girl was a big mistake. He takes steps to stop the train before it gets more out of control. He runs from girl and overbearing family, and never looks back. Just my thoughts, but as a young college kid, asking someone on a date is scary enough. Having the family invite themselves along is too much added pressure & stress. It clearly would be more fun to invite someone else along, who just wants to go to the dance.

In my opinion, he is smart to run from this family and cut all ties. Especially since they are the type to try to ruin his future and career over a DANCE invitation. It is ridiculous.

How old is this girl, we never got the answer? I think a HUGE part of the story that is missing is the age of the girl who was to be going to the dance. That makes a difference in whether or not her mom is a crazy person or acting rational.

 

[lovemygoofy]

The tickets are non-refundable and can't be changed. They can use them for up to a year, but since they've never flown before, they aren't likely to in the future.




While I do understand your perspective, the facts are exactly as presented (I also realize that that's just my word, but it's true nonetheless). Believe me, the girl feels like an idiot, and I can assure you that this young man won't ever have the opportunity to fool her again.

I understand this young lady feels embarssed. Do you think her mom getting in the middle has helped anything? Afterall they spent most of the holidays together it wasn't like they were strangers. I understand about the mom not wanting her daughter to go off alone but what if this had been a local college dance? The daughter had spent $300 on a dress and maybe another $100 on shoes and more on whatever and it added to say $500 and then the date doesn't show up. It's the same thing.

These are still young people who are learning and maturing, some quicker than others, and to say that this young man isn't suitable for to lead others just isn't fair. He may not be emotionally mature for a relationship but could still be a damn fine leader. I know ALOT and I do mean ALOT of men and women in the military who have the emotionally maturity of a pecan but are fine military men and women.

This young man called weeks ahead of time to cancel. It wasn't like the dance is tomorrow. If this mom was willing to fly to NYC for her daughter to have this kind of experience, why isn't she willing to fly so they as a mother daughter thing can still have a NYC experience? Buy her a tourist guide book and a map and tell them to go have a good time.

 

[Momvic5]

I'd drop the whole thing, but I wouldn't even want the $1k back. I'd take my kids on a trip to NYC and show them a good time.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[horseshowmom]

I imagine it goes something like this : He asked a girl to a dance, then her mom contacts him to inform him she and her other child are coming along. At this point he starts to regret asking the daughter in the first place and gets totally overwhelmed. This fun dance event is now a stressful family event, and he realizes that asking this girl was a big mistake. He takes steps to stop the train before it gets more out of control. He runs from girl and overbearing family, and never looks back. Just my thoughts, but as a young college kid, asking someone on a date is scary enough. Having the family invite themselves along is too much added pressure & stress. It clearly would be more fun to invite someone else along, who just wants to go to the dance.

As I've mentioned before, he's known this family for years (probably about 10 years). He knew that she wasn't going to NYC by herself. He indicated he was fine with that. If he had a problem with it, seems like he should have canceled his plans then. Mother didn't call him, didn't have to, he was at their house all the time over the holidays.

And considering he had known her for 10 years (and was at the house all the time), I don't really think he was too scared.

 

[dakcp2001]

How old is this girl?

 

[mjkacmom]

The fact that the family is what appears to be country bumpkins who have never been on a plane, feel that they wouldn't be able to make their way around NYE if they go and probably won't use the tickets to go someone else if they don't go is NOT HIS FAULT..

If mom was able to navigate NYC when her dd WAS going to the dance, why can't she now. It has been posted that mom wasn't going to be part of any plans with this man and her dd. I think these country bumpkins should take a trip to NYC, open up the horizons! If the jilted girl is over the age of 18, I don't think mom should've asked to go on the trip in the first place.

He changed his mind - this happens. I agree with a PP that he was probably weirded out when mom invited herself, and just didn't say anything at the time, which was his mistake.

 

[jen0610]

Looked up West Point Cadets code of Conduct. He's falling short on several of them. Sections 1 and 2.



http://www.usma.edu/committees/honor/info/main.htm