Truthfully if I am the Hostess I just expect that I do everything. Supply everything and I cook everything. Bring something extra...how nice. Expect that and you have a whole in your meal.
I mean come on people are busy
Expecting people to live up to my expectation is naieve.
If someone helps, bravo.....but if they don't I just understand that not everyone understands the burden of hostessing.
After years of getting upset I decided a few years ago. I either do it and I am gracious or I don't.
I choose to do it. We have a great time. For me I just don't devote any more energy into looking what who contributes and who does not.
I wish everyone had my book of hostessing but they don't and to decide that they have to meet my expectations just it too much.
I do it because I love them. I don't need anything else.
Lisa
Your right to a point, we host, therefore we carry the burden and expense of all the work that goes into having it. However, nobody lifts a finger from the time they arrive, until they go home. I don't think it would bug me quite as much if they would help a little. My husband and my kids help -- thank goodness. And my own mom and sister do help on Xmas day.
As far as your comment about people are busy..... What does that have to do with anything? The only thing they have done is loaded thier vehicle and drove to our House, then unloaded and sat on thier butts waiting for supper. Seriously!
I work and have 3 busy kids. Before company came I spent the 2 days prior cleaning, prepping food and cooking, baking, making beds for company to stay in, along with normal every day wife and mom stuff.
Oh, by the way, I worked Xmas eve day till noon. When I came hone everybody was sitting around waiting for me, to get lunch started. My hubby was outside shoveling, and putting snow stuff away since kids ( ours and niece and nephew) had been out.
SIL and BiL were sitting on the couch, watching tv, and on their phones -- I also had work Wednesday and Thursday. So, don't tell me that people are busy--- cuz I get busy!
So, You really don't know what your talking about.
Your fortunate to have in laws that arent lazy and ungrateful.
I told my hubby today that we're doing things very different next year, or we aren't hosting at all.
Random story from about 5 years ago. I work in the nursing field. At that time I worked nightshifts.
I had to be to work at 10:30 on Xmas eve. When I left for work, everybody was still up and still munching on cold cuts, sweet treats, and punch. So, I left everything out for them to enjoy.
When I got hone the next morning after work ( Xmas morning) it was 7:00am. ALL the cold cuts, and sweet treats and punch had been left out -- nobody bothered to put anything away. I was very mad! I did get after my DH that time too.
So you see, they don't get it. They don't care.