Children at weddings (debate)

[katerkat]

Just got back from DH's friend's wedding, where there were about five kids under the age of 2 screaming during the ceremony. So...

What do you all think about kids at weddings? Is it the bride and groom's preference? Or will you not attend if your kids aren't invited? If they are invited, do you always take them?

 

[grinningghost]

Personally, I don't care if there are kids at weddings, but that's because I'm not responsible for other peoples' kids.

Would I take a small child to a wedding? No way.

 

[onecoolmama]

I wouldnt bring my 2yo because I dont think they would sit through it.

I also dont bring them to graduations or confirmations. It is just too long and they would go nuts!

But my wedding party went from my borther who was 25 to the flower girl who was 6. So I had almost all kids there anyway. So I could care less how many kids and what age groups they were!

 

[Otto's Doll]

We did not have kids at our wedding. The youngest one there was my 21 yo sister. DH has 15 neices and nephews and some were quite young at the time. I personally don't have a problem with no kids being invited, I actually prefer to have an evening out without them. I would be worried that they wouldn't behave for a long period of time. I did bring my two to my neices' wedding last year, but they were specifically invited, and the bride and groom had some special things for them to do. There were about 20 kids altogether and they did get a bit noisy, but it was a Firehall reception, and was expected. I have another neice getting married next year, and won't be taking the kids.

 

[Nancy]

I would only take my kids if they were part of the ceremony itself. My nephews were small when I got married, but not real small. (none under 4) They came to church and the dinner part of the reception and then went home to a babysitter.

I personally feel that if I get a chance to get a night out without kids I'm taking advantage of it.

 

[N.Bailey]

I think it should be left up to the bride and groom to decide. I've taken my kids to family weddings where kids have been welcomed, but if it's friends(unless very close), I usually don't take them along.

 

[Blueberry]

We asked for no children at the reception as my DH had so many nieces and nephews at the time young and underage it could have become wild and we wanted an adult affair. We put it on the invitation and no one had an problems with it at all...

 

[Laura]

I think it's okay if parents take children to weddings, but a lot of parents don't know when to remove their children from the ceremony when they're getting fussy. I had little children in attendance at my wedding, and there were no disturbances. But then, my ceremony started at 2:30pm, so it wasn't bedtime for the little ones!

Also, weddings are really really boring for little kids. Heck, often they're boring for the adults! I don't think I'd take a small child to a wedding, especially if it were late at night. The kiddo would just be cranky.

I was just at a wedding on Saturday, and some friends who are parents of a 2-year-old came without their son. They seemed to think it easier, and I can see why.

 

[skuttle]

I think it's up to the bride and groom...afterall, it's their day. I didn't care for ours...but then again at the time there weren't many small kids in the family.

If children are there, I agree that parents often don't know when to take the child out. We were just at a wedding last weekend and the parents let the child talk and scream throughout the entire ceremony. THen, the reception was "adult only" as was clearly stated on the invitations, but there were lots of kids there.

My DS wasn't invited and I was NOT offended. I actually probably wouldn't bring DS to a wedding unless it was family or a very close friend.

 

[aprilgail2]

I personally don't like going to weddings if my child is not invited with me...

 

[AZ JazzyJ]

You know what I hate? Weddings without Cotton Candy. Think of it, why are these kids screaming? Because there is no Cotton Candy that's why! So I say come on over to the Fair Food poll and vote for Cotton Candy. Show those Funnel Cake people who is the boss!

Jeff

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

Last wedding I was at was my BILs, there were kids EVERYWHERE. Ok, DH and BIL have 77 cousins (at last count, who knows if anyone has reproduced again) and basically everyone gets invited to the wedding. The wedding ran long too, by nearly an hour, I was about to start fussing with the kids!

I think as long as the bride and groom are ok with it it's not a big deal.

Since most of our friends elope we don't have to worry about taking the kids to weddings!

 

[believe]

We typically do not go to weddings that our children are not invited to. Not because we don't want to go without them, but because it means a lot of extra driving time for us if we want family to watch them or money out of our pocket if we want to pay a sitter. If I am paying for a babysitter I want alone time with my DH, not a crowd of 200-300 people. We did go to one wedding without the kids, but only because my sister's house was on the way to the wedding and it was easy to drop the kids off. My girls behave during the ceremonies, they are use to being in church for 2 hrs each Sunday, with 1 hr or more of sitting still. It is up to the bride and groom, but I always check to make sure kids are welcome before taking mine.

 

[Beth76]

I did not have kids at my wedding. Only two people were invited who had kids (both infants). I knew one of them would not appropriately remove the child if needed, so I just said "no kids". They (the adults) did not come to the wedding.

I have only taken my son to one wedding/reception and one reception. The only reason being the people insisted that I bring him. I did not want to and we ended up leaving very early from both and were not able to enjoy ourselves in the least.

 

[helenabear]

I don't have kids so I can't answer that part of it. But I truly think it is up to the bride and groom. I personally had no trouble at all with a baby being at my wedding. She cooed and gigled and "perfect" times. Not all want children but as long as the bride and groom are good with it, I am too.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I haven't been to many wedings lately since all of our friends are married has-beens , but at our wedding (9+ years ago), we did not specify "kids not invited." With the exception of one family, all families with children who wanted to bring their children asked if it was OK. We said yes, as long as the child was removed if he/she was acting up during the ceremony.

We had no problems, and one of my favorite memories from my wedding was a friend's 11-year-old son wrapping himself around me in a bear hug at our reception and thanking me for letting him come to a great party.

I guess I would say that it is up to the bride and groom, but when invited, I would ask if my kids are included in the invitation.

 

[Kallison]

Two year olds should not be at weddings. They can't sit still through them and they aren't interested in them. If they are there and disruptive the parents should leave pronto. Why ruin someone else's big day?

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Well, my DD will turn 3 the week of my SIL's wedding. She is the flower girl and I am worried about her behavior. First, the wedding is right at her nap time 1:30. Second DH and I are both in the wedding so neither one of us can really take her out (although SIL said she totally understands if I would have to.) Third, she is NOT good at standing still/being quiet for a long period of time. I don't want her to be distracting.
So, I think DH's cousin, who is in 8th grade, will take DD out if she starts to act up. She is good with little kids and has a Brother who is 1 year older than DD. Hopefully she holds up for the reception.

My Friend is getting married in September. DD is invited, but no way am I taking her. She would rather stay with Grandma.

 

[PatsMom]

Our six month old daughter was at our wedding so all the kids were welcome. DD did have to be taken out for a bit because she decided it was time to eat in the middle of the ceremony and would have nothing to do with a bottle - she wanted Mom!
I think its up to the bride and groom and their budget. My family weddings tend to be very informal and the kids have a better time than most of the adults.

 

[JVL1018]

I have never been invited to a wedding where children were invited also(unless they are part of the wedding party)..and it never crosses my mind to bring mine.
We went to a wedding Memorial Day weekend, and my 4 year old daughter wanted to come to the church, so she came for that(20 min. ceremony), but definately not to the reception..even if my children were welcome, I wouldn't bring them.
It's a grown up night out for us.