Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[Missy Mouse]

Hello!

There seem to be lots of threads for those discussing motherhood and other issues relating to children, so how about a thread on the CB for those of us who choose to be child-free? Anyone interested?

Me, me! FH and I have had MANY long talks about this subject and we have decided not to have children. We don't really have a desire for them and don't think we should have them just because it's the normal thing to do. We are very content with each other and prefer not to raise a child in today's world. That is just OUR choice, we don't expect many others to agree. If we were to accidentally get pregnant we would of course welcome the idea of parenthood, but are careful in that area.

 

[Missy Mouse]

I am an Aunt to 11 wonderful nieces and nephews. I have promised all of them a trip of a lifetime to WDW when they graduate from high school. My motto, spoken in a loud firm voice is:

Love them, spoil them, GIVE THEM BACK!!!

Amen!

 

[Missy Mouse]

Me me me!

I am 37, and have been declaring my childfreedom since about 15 yrs of age. Of course, I was told by many that I'd change my mind later- but the joke's on them
QUOTE]

We have been told this repeatedly, mostly by FH's mother who is dying for us to give her a grandbaby. I know in my heart there will be no mind changing for us. LOVE to pick up and go whenever we want.

 

[Missy Mouse]

You know I just skimmed through that thread and folks posting to say they were child-free by choice kept saying things like "I'm selfish" or "I guess were just selfish." That makes me sad. If you choose to be child-free I see nothing selfish about it. IMHO it would be selfish to have a child because you felt obligated to (by society, family etc) and not because you wanted to.

(I know better than to make the pet/child comparison but I'm gonna do it anyway.) I am dog free by choice. I don't want to deal with housebreaking, feeding, training, taking to the vet, finding a good kennel etc so we don't have a dog. Does that make me selfish? No, it makes me smart enough to not bring an innocent animal into my life because I just can't (and don't want to) care for it the way it should be. I think it's the same with the child/no child choice. You know yourself better than anyone else and you are making the right decision.

Sorry to ramble but it just doesn't seem fair the people feel bad for making this choice.

I think you just made a really beautiful statement.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Dh and I are currently childless and have been up to this point (but not for long, due in December). However, reading about those of you who love to just pick up and go wherever and whenever you want...well, my child-free life has NEVER included that option. We have two dogs and getting away on a vacation requires arranging for petsitting (we do NOT board) and making sure the petsitter has been briefed on ANYTHING that can go wrong. And before we even had dogs, we had our jobs as attorneys. Pick up and go somewhere? Lots of free time? Um, no. Rather, it was stress, stress, stress....of a different kind.

Kudos to all of you who have child-free lives and dream jobs as well.

 

[Missy Mouse]

Let the flamming begin, but I don't care. I love writing this stuff.

That's great that you have decided to be child-free. This means that by not having children the world will eventually be ridden of people who think like you. Hopefully? Hehe.

I guess you don't regret your parents having born and raised you, so you could go to disney when the kids are in school and you don't have to deal with them.

This is one of the sadest threads I've ever come across on the internet and I can't believe its here on a disney website. Color me naive.

Have fun dying all alone in a nursing home...its a blast. I've seen the future for the child-free. Its dark and lonely in the end.

Have a great life and enjoy disney while you can. Can't buy me love...best song ever.

bfrosty

Actually, statistics (and experience) show that there's a greater number of people in nursing homes who have children than those who don't. You don't just roll over and die because you don't have children. You can join a retirement home, live together in your home, join a community for older adults, get involved with a group like church or a modern 4h, etc...You clearly have no idea what you're talking about, but judging by your ignorance, I'm not surprised.

 

[Missy Mouse]

I worked VERY hard since high school. Held multiple part time jobs while commuting to college full time. We've always had stressful jobs. And I REALLY didn't know how to relax.

This describes me to a T right now. I'm trying to finish up my BSN/nursing full-time and work two jobs...I am TIRED. I find I can't relax ever...even if FH and I are laying on the couch watching tv. I ALWAYS have to be on the go, and am constantly told I'm going to end up giving myself a heart attack..but I just can't stop - can't afford to either!

 

[twojo21]

newlyweds here 5 months no interest in kids at this point in our lives, we want to enjoy each other, travel, finish grad school, etc. kids someday but not for a few years so for now cheerfully child free.

 

[Muushka]

I quit Feb 17th. Hi twin!

Do I feel guilty about not working? No. But I was VERY confused at the beginning about my "identity" if you know what I mean. I guess I seemed to always define myself by my job. I've always been a work-a-holic, so this feeling of staying home was sooooo foreign to me. But I can say, I think I've adjusted nicely.


And goofygirl, what do I DO all day? Well, when I was new at "this" stay at home job, I had to ask others the same question. I don't watch tv much at all really. I try to catch the noon news, then I will watch Who Wants to Be A Millionaire after that. I keep the house, make meals, taken on any chores DH used to do on weekends, grocery shop & errands, handle all finances, calls, mail. I've cleaned out the house of junk. Redecorated 3 rooms. Planted a flower garden. (OK, DH helped with the rooms & the garden on weekends.)

But basically, I've tried to do everything I can, so he won't have to do anything on weekends. DH works a 4 day week. He has Sat, Sun, Mon off. I try to limit my work to the days he works. No, I'm not busy all day.

I picked up a tiny part time job doing demos in stores -- handing out samples. I work MAYBE 4-7 days a MONTH. Gets me out of the house. I like it. No office politics. No bosses because I don't work for the store. Pick what jobs when I want & where I want, IF I want to work. Pays $14/hr. Not doing it for the $ though.

I worked VERY hard since high school. Held multiple part time jobs while commuting to college full time. We've always had stressful jobs. And I REALLY didn't know how to relax. We were at a point financially, that my income was really only being used for paying mortgage down REALLY fast. Well, since the mortgage is almost gone & DH's salary covers mtg, savings, retirement & living nicely, we can have me stay home with no problems.

Now quitting wasn't planned.....but it sure was NICE to just walk out & not worry about it. (I had been there 12 yrs, and boss kept saying "if you don't like it, there's the door". bye bye )

I grew up thinking I would be married & work & be successfull. "Women can have it all" generation. OK, no one told me I would go crazy trying to do it. I learned I just can't handle ALL that. That was part of the decision not to have children also. I just get overwhelmed very easy. This is the most relaxed & calmest I have ever been in my life.

Thank you for sharing of yourself! We lead similar lives, for sure!

 

[shamrock30]

I'm also childfree, married, and currently not working, although the latter may well change at some point. I have six nieces and nephews whom I love very much, and have also worked with children.

I've never understood why anyone would care how my husband and I choose to live. I almost fell over when his cousin asked when we were going to have children at the last family get together. After 20+ years of marriage, you'd think she'd have given up on us by now.

 

[Hercules10]

I almost fell over when his cousin asked when we were going to have children at the last family get together.

People ask us this all the time. Usually I can shut them up by saying "Hey! We try every night! Sometimes we try 3 or 4 times a night!"

Usually results in a

 

[Crankyshank]

DH and I are DINKS. We're 31 and 35 and have been married almost 8yrs.
We hope to have kids soon (within a few years) but right now we can't even begin to afford any and we really want to work on our marriage and I want to finish school.

I'm another person that has problems relaxing as does DH. We both work a lot and I'm also a full time student. Our time home is just crashing and being homebodies. I'm not ready to further extend myself by devoting time to a child.

 

[shamrock30]

People ask us this all the time. Usually I can shut them up by saying "Hey! We try every night! Sometimes we try 3 or 4 times a night!"

Usually results in a

Love it!

 

[Charade]

People ask us this all the time. Usually I can shut them up by saying "Hey! We try every night! Sometimes we try 3 or 4 times a night!"

Usually results in a

 

[plgrn]

we'll get a seagull poster--you know, the kind that drop in, make a lot of noise, and crap all over everything.

Great analogy! That's a new one to me.

 

[kayeandjim00]

Childless by choice here too Great thread! DH and I have been married for 6 years and are really happy with our lives. We did the shopping and the leave at a moment's notice stuff for years and then added 4 animals in a year and that pretty much ended all the moments notice stuff but I'm very happy with my life though one day I'd like to be an OINK!! I know it's not true for all parents but some of the ones I know do seem miserable always looking to drop them off at grandparents, etc. I think it's worse to go down that road then to just not have them. I think it's great that we have the choice and my idea of marriage and "family" doesn't have to be the same as anyone else's.

 

[RC Fan]

I am very pleased to see all the responses! I tried to check in alll day, but I was not able to because (a) the boards were down (maybe?) or (b) I have been found guilty of Dising at work, and henceforth have been cut off. Since I don't see anything about the boards being down, I guess I have been busted.


I certainly know of lots of people with children who are happy. I am sure there are lots of child-free people who are unhappy. I think the key is to give the issue of parenthood lots of thought and try to figure out what is best for you. I consider myself very lucky that I am not torn in regards to having a child... I have always known that I did not want children. I think it would be much harder to be on the fence.

Thank-you all for contributing!

 

[goofygirl]

For those of you who "always knew" they never wanted children, how early on did you know? I'm just curious.

I knew since me early teens. When people would make a fuss over a baby, I just didn't get it. To this day, if someone brings around a baby or shows me pictures of a baby, it bores me to death.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

For those of you who "always knew" they never wanted children, how early on did you know? I'm just curious.

I was in my mid-teens. I liked kids ok, just didn't want any of my own. I also don't like kids enough to be pregnant. My husband just didn't want kids flat-out and has always felt that way. I know it sounds cold but I just never wanted to be a parent.

 

[barbeml]

For those of you who "always knew" they never wanted children, how early on did you know? I'm just curious.

I knew since me early teens. When people would make a fuss over a baby, I just didn't get it. To this day, if someone brings around a baby or shows me pictures of a baby, it bores me to death.

I always knew. I never played with baby dolls, I wanted Barbie. When other women fuss over infants, I say all the right things but feel no maternal longing.