Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[disneyfan67]

I think that people who choose not to have kids aren't being selfish, but are smart for knowing their limitations. Where is there a written law that says you have to have children to be happy or fulfilled? Why do some think a marriage isn't successful if don't have the required amount of children? That's "old society rules" talking and is an outdated mode of thinking, IMO.

How many threads have we seen on these boards that start with my "DH or DW is leaving me" and then have the words in the post "I want to work this out for the sake of the kids". That doesn't sound to successful to me. I've seen way too many "broken homes" and damaged children due to divorce, in my lifetime.

Rasing a child is a full time, stressful job and isn't for everyone. I applaud people who can be truly happy and lead a great life, without having to be a parent. There are millions of neglected children all around the world who have no one to care for them, some due to selfish people that just had kids to be having them. It seems that some don't give any thought if they can properly provide for the children that they are conceiving. Those are the selfish or sad people in my book.


So I raise my coffee cup in a toast to all of the Sinks and Dinks of the Dis and enjoy your life. Let no one tell you that you're unhappy or missing out on something.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Most people on here are DINKs, so I guess that makes me an OINK, since I'm not married. One Income No Kids!

(We need a pig smiley)

Kimya

DH & I are OINKs, but of even a rarer kind. You should see the looks I get when people find out I quit my job 6 mths ago to stay home, and we don't have any kids. I really wish I could find a message board of other married OINKs. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.

 

[Muushka]

DH & I are OINKs, but of even a rarer kind. You should see the looks I get when people find out I quit my job 6 mths ago to stay home, and we don't have any kids. I really wish I could find a message board of other married OINKs. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.

Oh my gosh! This sounds like it could be my post!! I quit my job Feb 10th of this year and we are also OINKs!!

So, tell me, do you ever feel guilty about not working? Maybe I will PM you and we can talk!!

 

[BunsenH]

Put Mr. & Mrs. BunsenH on the childless by choice list. (I hope that outing myself won't cause a "What do you know about _____, you don't have kids!" in my posting future. )

I surprised at the number of responses from child-free members. Was there ever a poll to sample the family status of DISers?

 

[goofygirl]

Oh my gosh! This sounds like it could be my post!! I quit my job Feb 10th of this year and we are also OINKs!!

So, tell me, do you ever feel guilty about not working? Maybe I will PM you and we can talk!!

Just out of curiosity, what DO you do all day if you don't worK? I don't mean this in a derrogatory way, I just want to know what you do. I am a SINKer, and when I was home from work for a week, I crawled the walls from boredom and found out that I HATE daytime TV! LOL. I'm just the kind of person who can't be in the house for too long. I could never stop working!

 

[Aidensmom]

I had not planned to be a parent, I didn't think I would have enough patience for it, and I was very happy being childless.

I did become pregnant though and have a child, and while my life is much different, I am still happy, and wouldn't trade my child for anything. I think there are good benefits both of being childless and of having children, they are just different.

I really don't get why one group would think bad of the other.

 

[airhead]

Just as long as they go home after a weekend!!

 

[Hercules10]

I crawled the walls from boredom and found out that I HATE daytime TV! LOL.

Whaaaaaaaaa? You don't like Jerry Springer and personal injury lawyer's commercials?

 

[olena]

I guess we're OINKs, too. That's a new one on me. No kids, not yet. Maybe not ever. We can't really afford it right now anyway.

This year, I've become an aunt to three baby nieces, so I'm set for now.

 

[disykat]

I have kids so I don't belong on this thread, but I just wanted to say I'm happy to see so many CHEERFULLY child-free people on this thread. In real life, I know quite a few cheerfully child-free people (my brother, my sister, my best girlfriend, several co-workers) who have never had issues with their childfree status or the fact that I have kids. My experience on the internet is usually angry childfree people - so I'm happy to see people who are so happy with their own choices and willing to let others make theirs.

 

[salmoneous]

DH & I are OINKs, but of even a rarer kind. You should see the looks I get when people find out I quit my job 6 mths ago to stay home, and we don't have any kids.

Raises hand as a former OINK and probably future OINK as well. Having no kids really fees up a lot of income. DW has done full-time volunteer work before and currently has a paid position at a non-profit. However, she's grown frustrated with office politics and wants to spend her time actually helping people. Having no kids and essentially no financial worries allows her to consider quitting since we just don't need the money.

 

[Dodie]

DH and I are both 45, have been married 13 years, and went into the marriage with the understanding that neither of us was interested in having children. I think people accept this decision from men far easier than they do from women.

No interest in having children whatsoever. Never did. Don't have the maternal gene I guess.

So.. ADD US TO THE LIST! CHEERFULLY CHILDLESS BY CHOICE!

 

[ZuZugal]

Most people on here are DINKs, so I guess that makes me an OINK, since I'm not married. One Income No Kids!

(We need a pig smiley)

Kimya

Ask and you shall receive.

(Kinda smallish, I know, but all that I could find. Oink Oink!)

 

[WDWguru]

Well, I've checked in on every other one of these threads, so might as well do so here. DH and I are 35, we've been together since High School and married 12 years and are DINKs. We both knew long ago we never wanted kids and feel lucky to have found one another.

DH works REALLY hard and is great at his job, so we may become OINKs in the next couple of years. I just have to figure out how to organize myself so I don't sit on the DIS all day!

 

[DaisyD]

Just out of curiosity, what DO you do all day if you don't worK? I don't mean this in a derrogatory way, I just want to know what you do. I am a SINKer, and when I was home from work for a week, I crawled the walls from boredom and found out that I HATE daytime TV! LOL. I'm just the kind of person who can't be in the house for too long. I could never stop working!

We are single income, 3 kids. Two in college and one in second grade. I have been a SAHM for almost 19 years. Eight of those years have been with kids in school all day and me not working outside the home. Did I get bored? No way! Did I sit home? Heck no! I go shopping, to the gym, get massages, pedicures, manicures, you name it! Traveling is my favorite pasttime! I don't watch TV during the day either. I do like reality TV at night but that is it. I do everything around the house too but do it before the kids or DH comes hiome for the day so I can spend the rest of the time hanging with them. Don't think that SAHMs are sitting home twiddling their thumbs once their kids go to school! LOL!

 

[barbeml]

I go shopping, to the gym, get massages, pedicures, manicures, you name it! Traveling is my favorite pasttime!

I'm soooo jealous!

 

[DaisyD]

I'm soooo jealous!

LOL! And that is WITH kids! So having kids doesn't have to end ones fun, KWIM? They just add to my life and I couldn't imagine life without them. We all have choices. So long as we are happy, who cares what others think.

 

[barbeml]

We all have choices. So long as we are happy, who cares what others think.

That sums it up nicely.

 

[hentob]

I am so happy to see pleasant childfree people on this this thread. Like someone else stated, other places on the web have many people who absolutely HATE children. Which is fine (I am not fond of some children myself ), but they also put down those who enjoy their nieces, nephews, etc. The term "Breeder Pleaser" is thrown around often by militant childfree people. To some, you are not childfree unless you proclaim your hatred for each and every child (and those who parent said child)on planet earth.

The other thing that is slightly annoying is the assumption that those of us WITH children are living a terribly dull life (or else an out of control stressed lifestyle) and are longing for a childfree life. This is just as absurd as thinking someone without a child is missing out on the joys of parenthood. The childfree aren't the only ones eating out at fabulous restaurants, reading great books, vacationing on the spur of the moment, having great conversations with their spouse, getting massages, etc. Just wanted to point that out

About 85% of my friends are truly childfree (which means they NEVER plan to have children in any way shape or form), NOT childless (still on the fence, might have children one day, not 100% sure). They will never, ever have children. I don't see the big deal. Why would someone ever have a child if they didn't want one What is the debate a few pages back? Or is ol' Frosty just a troll?

I will wrap it up with saying, I think the rudest question in the world has to be-"When will you be starting a family?" Ugh.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Oh my gosh! This sounds like it could be my post!! I quit my job Feb 10th of this year and we are also OINKs!!

So, tell me, do you ever feel guilty about not working? Maybe I will PM you and we can talk!!

I quit Feb 17th. Hi twin!

Do I feel guilty about not working? No. But I was VERY confused at the beginning about my "identity" if you know what I mean. I guess I seemed to always define myself by my job. I've always been a work-a-holic, so this feeling of staying home was sooooo foreign to me. But I can say, I think I've adjusted nicely.


And goofygirl, what do I DO all day? Well, when I was new at "this" stay at home job, I had to ask others the same question. I don't watch tv much at all really. I try to catch the noon news, then I will watch Who Wants to Be A Millionaire after that. I keep the house, make meals, taken on any chores DH used to do on weekends, grocery shop & errands, handle all finances, calls, mail. I've cleaned out the house of junk. Redecorated 3 rooms. Planted a flower garden. (OK, DH helped with the rooms & the garden on weekends.)

But basically, I've tried to do everything I can, so he won't have to do anything on weekends. DH works a 4 day week. He has Sat, Sun, Mon off. I try to limit my work to the days he works. No, I'm not busy all day.

I picked up a tiny part time job doing demos in stores -- handing out samples. I work MAYBE 4-7 days a MONTH. Gets me out of the house. I like it. No office politics. No bosses because I don't work for the store. Pick what jobs when I want & where I want, IF I want to work. Pays $14/hr. Not doing it for the $ though.

I worked VERY hard since high school. Held multiple part time jobs while commuting to college full time. We've always had stressful jobs. And I REALLY didn't know how to relax. We were at a point financially, that my income was really only being used for paying mortgage down REALLY fast. Well, since the mortgage is almost gone & DH's salary covers mtg, savings, retirement & living nicely, we can have me stay home with no problems.

Now quitting wasn't planned.....but it sure was NICE to just walk out & not worry about it. (I had been there 12 yrs, and boss kept saying "if you don't like it, there's the door". bye bye )

I grew up thinking I would be married & work & be successfull. "Women can have it all" generation. OK, no one told me I would go crazy trying to do it. I learned I just can't handle ALL that. That was part of the decision not to have children also. I just get overwhelmed very easy. This is the most relaxed & calmest I have ever been in my life.