Asking a friend to join your vacation

[busymommy2pink]

I heard back from the mom of the girl. Unfortunately the girl cannot come because it is expensive (which I completely understand and told her mom I would understand when I asked).

I'm sorry to hear that, but I have no doubt your daughter will have such a great time with you regardless !!

 

[NuttyDisneyDad]

If I invited one of my daughters friends on our trip then I would pay for whole trip...(excluding spending money) in my opinion if You cant afford to pay for her friend then you shouldnt even ask

 

[Ambear]

I heard back from the mom of the girl. Unfortunately the girl cannot come because it is expensive (which I completely understand and told her mom I would understand when I asked).

Sorry it didn't work out, and there was no harm in asking at all. When I was younger my mom asked if my friend could come with us to wdw and she did. I don't know what the payment arrangement was but I'm pretty sure my mom didn't pay everything. So yea, all families are different and at least you tried.

 

[jacksonsmom]

I'm amazed at how many would pay for the whole expense to bring a friend along. I guess if you can afford it, that is great.
I would do the same thing if we could afford it. But we can't.

My son is bringing along a friend on our upcoming Disney trip. The friend paid for her own airfare, park hoppers and will bring any extra money for souvenirs she will want.

We are covering most of the food (on dining plan), she is told to bring some extra money for anything she may want that isn't covered on DDP, and we rented DVC so we aren't asking any money for that.

Yes, we would love to be able to pay her whole way, but just not possible, so we came up with what works.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for a person to put in for some of the cost.

 

[Nancyg56]

I see a huge difference. I would accept a friend's offer to pay $20 for my child to have dinner. I can't imagine accepting a friend's offer to pay $1100 for my child.




That seems to be treating the invited friend as a paid escort. That seems a bit awkward. Presumably the invited friend would have a great time, too- and would enjoy the trip and the company.

I can see the invited friend's parents politely declining because it is a big expense for a short trip. I cannot understand their taking offense.

How many threads are posted that begin by discussing hoe the child would have a lot more fun if there was a friend along? I do not think those people plan to treat the kid as an escort, but do think that the friends presence will enhance their own child's enjoyment.

If my child was invited, and there was an offer to pay, I would have a hard time accepting the offer, and would do what I could to pay for the trip if I could do so. But conversely, if I invited someone, before I did so, I would need to know if I could absorb the cost. If the parents wanted to contribute, I would need to determine if I would accept. Double standard? Yes. Knowing my own mixed emotions in these situations makes it easier for me to understand how tricky they can get.

 

[Lothlórien]

People have destination weddings all the time and many people do feel it is rude to basically force people to take and pay for a vacation at your choice of destinstion, or miss your wedding entirely.

OP, I am in the camp that this was rude. You obviously don't want the friend to join you, enough to sacrifice on any other part of a (ridiculously expensive for four days) trip in order to bring friend - so you would only "love" to have her along if someone else pays for it.

How is anybody being "forced"? That is so dramatic. LOL

 

[Lothlórien]

Not really you get a birthday every year. Most people get a wedding one maybe twice and no one is obligated to go to the second one. IMO a wedding in the long run is a much more important event than a birthday.

I agree about the "importance" of a wedding over a birthday, however for this scenario, you are comparing apples & oranges. Or more like apples & cheeseburgers. Most people don't go to WDW for their birthday either.

 

[kangamangus]

I'm in the middle camp. I think what I would do ( not that it matters at all! LOL) Is downsize a portion ( deluxe to moderate or moderate to value ) etc...or downsize something else to be able to pay for a larger portion of the friends trip. But then again with a half dozen kids I have enough kids to keep track of and they are each others best friends so there is always someone hanging out with someone!

 

[ellie05]

I agree about the "importance" of a wedding over a birthday, however for this scenario, you are comparing apples & oranges. Or more like apples & cheeseburgers. Most people don't go to WDW for their birthday either.

That is my point it is this is not comparison to a destination wedding or a wedding at all. I didn't compare it you did. I have gone to Wdw for my birthday before. DH god daughter is also going to Disney for her 5th birthday, by the number of birthday pins I seen many people go to WDW for their birthday. The difference is I don't invite my guest to my trip or expect them to pay their portion.

 

[Bebacksoon]

I have a similar situation. We're going in June for my daughters birthday for 7 nights at CSR and she is bringing a friend. I asked her parents if they could pay $350.00 (basically the price of a 6 day ticket but I will be paying the additional for the hopper). They had no problem with it (that i know of). I told them not to send any extra money with her because we will get whatever else like meals, souvenirs, etc. After reading these replys now I feel bad for asking....

 

[princessjadesmom]

I have a similar situation. We're going in June for my daughters birthday for 7 nights at CSR and she is bringing a friend. I asked her parents if they could pay $350.00 (basically the price of a 6 day ticket but I will be paying the additional for the hopper). They had no problem with it (that i know of). I told them not to send any extra money with her because we will get whatever else like meals, souvenirs, etc. After reading these replys now I feel bad for asking....

I don't think you should feel bad about that at all. Before I asked the girl's mom, I ran the idea by multiple people that I know personally. I did not receive a single negative comment from any of them. Every single one of them thought it was an awesome idea. Unfortunately, people on this board have a knack for taking something nice and making you feel like dirt about it. This is, for some reason, the only Disney board that I know of that people are so negative on.

 

[Hisgirl]

Over the years, once our kids got to be 12 and up, we always allowed them to bring a friend when we went to the beach. However, we saw it as they were our guests, and we covered all costs. If a family had invited my child and asked me to pay $900 that I hadn't been budgeting, I would probably think it was too much. That's a lot of money to families and most folks I know don't have that kind of extra money laying around to treat one child to a trip. What if this child has a sibling? How does one balance that out? I hope it works out well and I know your daughter will be thrilled to have a surprise trip!

 

[isabellea]

I have a similar situation. We're going in June for my daughters birthday for 7 nights at CSR and she is bringing a friend. I asked her parents if they could pay $350.00 (basically the price of a 6 day ticket but I will be paying the additional for the hopper). They had no problem with it (that i know of). I told them not to send any extra money with her because we will get whatever else like meals, souvenirs, etc. After reading these replys now I feel bad for asking....

I wouldn't have any issue asking for the cost of tickets but I don't think I could ask the parents to pay for meals, hotel, transportation or special events I had planned.

 

[ronandannette]

I don't think you should feel bad about that at all. Before I asked the girl's mom, I ran the idea by multiple people that I know personally. I did not receive a single negative comment from any of them. Every single one of them thought it was an awesome idea. Unfortunately, people on this board have a knack for taking something nice and making you feel like dirt about it. This is, for some reason, the only Disney board that I know of that people are so negative on.

You posted your plan and asked what everybody thought - no one here attacked you in any way. You apparently respect the opinions of people who agree with you and are supportive but are defensive and dismissive with those who disagree. Interesting.

 

[ellie05]

I have a similar situation. We're going in June for my daughters birthday for 7 nights at CSR and she is bringing a friend. I asked her parents if they could pay $350.00 (basically the price of a 6 day ticket but I will be paying the additional for the hopper). They had no problem with it (that i know of). I told them not to send any extra money with her because we will get whatever else like meals, souvenirs, etc. After reading these replys now I feel bad for asking....

Don't feel bad I think $350 for a 7 days vacation is more than resonable while $900 for a 4 day is not. If you think about a middle class family that had a large vacation budget of $10000 (for 4/5 people) asking $900 is almost 10% of the whole family budget while $350 is very doable on any given month with a little bit of juggling around.

 

[HopperFan]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, I think it really boils down to each situation.

DD wanted to go to WDW for her high school graduation and bring a friend. We were going for a week. I said that is fine if she pays for her park tickets and any souvenirs. And if they went off on their own for eats then they were to pay their own way. We drive so plane tickets not an issue, but I paid for gas, hotels and all food. She bought her ticket and brought spending money. I think we had 5 day tickets with WP option. We ended up doing both water parks because they wanted to.

I think every family has a different value for vacations. For me $900 for 4 days is too much money. $350 for 7 days is very reasonable (which in that case was for tickets so similar to what I asked for).

 

[princessjadesmom]

You posted your plan and asked what everybody thought - no one here attacked you in any way. You apparently respect the opinions of people who agree with you and are supportive but are defensive and dismissive with those who disagree. Interesting.

Actually, I wasn't asking for anyone's opinion about the payment situation. I was asking what would happen in the event that I put her on our reservation and then she wasn't able to go.

 

[ronandannette]

Actually, I wasn't asking for anyone's opinion about the payment situation. I was asking what would happen in the event that I put her on our reservation and then she wasn't able to go.

LOL - that apparently wasn't clear as I don't think you got very many answers to that question.

 

[Ambear]

LOL - that apparently wasn't clear as I don't think you got very many answers to that question.

It's not like it's the OP's fault that her original post and question sparked a whole different conversation... Not that it's wrong, but it happens a lot on the dis lol.

 

[patty57]

When you invite a friend to join you on a birthday trip for a teen, you are asking a family to absorb a portion of your "party" sometimes at the expense of the rest of their family. I do not think it is wrong, but I do think it is different, and I do think that the request places a good deal of pressure on the friends parents.

Yes, this is exactly how I feel about this. OP, I think you are trying to plan a great trip for your daughter, but asking another family to come up with $900 (which is almost the entire amount of her portion of the trip) is way over the top. That's a lot of money for a four day trip. It's also asking them to pay for all of the events you want to take part in. Again, I think you had good intentions, but I would never "invite" one of my kids' friends, and then ask the family to pay this much.

Editing to add that I now see the situation has been resolved. OP, I hope you have a good trip with your daughter.