Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[Pigeon]

I agree with your first point but not really the second. I don't see the big deal about the pledge; afterall, it's not a legally binding agreement. I also don't think all the students would decided against having sex because of the pledge they made at 12. I don't see it any different than any other pledge they made be asked to sign (the drinking and driving contract for example).

I not saying that they should drink and drive, but rather that this type of agreement doesn't really carry a lot of weight for many people.

Which is exactly why these pledges have no place in schools and why my children do not sign them.

 

[Kath2003]

And what about the children that don't have good, role models, and morals?

This is why sex education needs to be holistic. It needs to cover the physical aspects and the emotional aspects. It needs to cover abstinence AND safe sex. I don't consider it immoral to have sex outside of marriage; all I would want for my (future) kids (or anyone else I know) is for them to be able to make an informed, educated, responsible decision - and abstinance-only sex education does not do that.

I strongly support teaching sex-education in schools, but it needs to be a responsible, rounded education - not one based on the morals of one group of people which does the majority of the population (who do not make it to marriage before having sex) a disservice. It shouldn't force children and teenagers into making decisions they cannot possibly be responsible for at that stage; it should teach them how to make the decision that is right for them.

If parents want to teach abstinance-only, go for it. If they think that a few lessons on safe sex is going to ruin and entire lifetime of parenting for that child, either they didn't get the message across correctly in the first place, or their child was going to disobey their wishes anyway. Either that or they are afraid of their children being presented with other logical, safe, informed opinions and options.

 

[missypie]

What my mother taught my sister and I was, "The boy will want to. Don't do it."

During my sister's first teenage pregnancy scare, she told my mom, "No one told me that I would want to do it."

 

[Crankyshank]

I agree with your first point but not really the second. I don't see the big deal about the pledge; afterall, it's not a legally binding agreement. I also don't think all the students would decided against having sex because of the pledge they made at 12. I don't see it any different than any other pledge they made be asked to sign (the drinking and driving contract for example).

I not saying that they should drink and drive, but rather that this type of agreement doesn't really carry a lot of weight for many people.

By no means am I saying that #2 applies across the board. I'm speaking only for myself

 

[lilyv]

Any public school employee (or volunteer) that is involved in coercing children to pledge/swear/sign loyalty to their pet project isn't moral in my book.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

like children whom have parents that are in and out of jail, people that have drug problems, etc, etc,

Okay- will you be setting the bar for good role models? I know plenty of people who aren't in jail or have drug problems that are pretty wacky. This includes some that are huge church goers. I don't think any one person or the public schools should be the moral compass for everyone. My children have our values and quite honestly it is not your place to decide if they are right or wrong.

 

[happygirl]

I have no problem with my daughter signing that contract, but that hardly keeps her from when she gets older doing what she wants, they only thing that will stop her is what morals we install in her

 

[Passions71203]

Who is the arbiter of what constitutes a good role model or good morals? I'm sure that we disagree completely on what constitutes good morals. Many of the abstinence only promoters are completely immoral in my book.

Bill Clinton is a fine example of someone with low morals..

And who gets to decide whose parent is a good role model or "moral"? I think it's wrong not to give children all the information they need to survive in life.

I also think its wrong not to give all children the info they will need so survive life, that is why they should be taught both save sex until marriage and safe sex in case they do have sex

If my soon-to-be 12 daughter comes home with a chastity pledge, I will rip it up and contact the school board. No going up the chain of command.

As a public school teacher, I say it is NOT the place of a school system to provide this. Provide education as to the benefits of remaining abstinent - yes. Provide education about methods of birth control and how to avoid STDs - absolutely.

If schools are not the place to give out this info then states should not be funding....which last time I checked here in Ohio they do

 

[mjkacmom]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

I think children should wait to have sex until they are adults, not until marriage. I don't expect them to wait until then.

 

[Passions71203]

My children have our values and quite honestly it is not your place to decide if they are right or wrong.

I never said that your family does not have good morals, you decide what is best for your kids and I will do the same with mine..

I have no problem with my daughter signing that contract, but that hardly keeps her from when she gets older doing what she wants, they only thing that will stop her is what morals we install in her

I agree!

 

[missypie]

Any public school employee (or volunteer) that is involved in coercing children to pledge/swear/sign loyalty to their pet project isn't moral in my book.

This is the actual curriculum, adopted by our school district. It's taught by the PE teachers, I believe. I doubt that it's their pet project; it's what our district has decided they will teach. I note, however, that my other kids are 3 and 5 years older respectively and both went to the same school. The pledge is something new.

 

[Passions71203]

This is the actual curriculum, adopted by our school district. It's taught by the PE teachers, I believe. I doubt that it's their pet project; it's what our district has decided they will teach. I note, however, that my other kids are 3 and 5 years older respectively and both went to the same school. The pledge is something new.

If everyone has something against this then they could go to the school district and complain...I am sure that if enough people complained the school would do something about it..

 

[JennyMominRI]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

Because we dont think the school has any business coercing children to sign a pladge.

Becuase I don't need my kids to abstain until married..I woud like them to be mature and in a stable relationship, but I don't feel they HAVE to wait until marriage

The fact i prefer my children wait until they are older does not mean I believe they should end up with a possible death penalty if they don't

Because while I was a good girl who waited until marriage I ended up with AIDS

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

The only reason this thread will become heated is because some will choose to push their beliefs on others, when it's not necessary.

I want my children to understand that choosing to have sex is a major and life altering decision, but it's not the dirty horrible thing some people would have them believe. It's a natural part of life. They will be taught to wait until they're in a committed relationship, mature enough to handle the risks and consequences and take the steps needed to protect themselves and their partner.

What everyone else teaches their kids is none of my business, I am responsible for making sure mine grow up to be healthy in all aspects of their lives.

 

[Pigeon]

Bill Clinton is a fine example of someone with low morals..

I'd rather my kids had Bill's morals than W's morals any day of the week.

Not that I'd be holding up either of them as model behavior.

 

[lilyv]

This is the actual curriculum, adopted by our school district. It's taught by the PE teachers, I believe. I doubt that it's their pet project; it's what our district has decided they will teach. I note, however, that my other kids are 3 and 5 years older respectively and both went to the same school. The pledge is something new.

I don't have a problem with a broad based curriculum. However, when adults (in a public school) who are also in a position of trust pressure children through group tactics to sign pledges, I am quite concerned. I'm not sure what would be the motivation for teachers to take such action with other's children, beyond a pet project/or favored bias.

 

[declansdad]

This is the actual curriculum, adopted by our school district. It's taught by the PE teachers, I believe. I doubt that it's their pet project; it's what our district has decided they will teach. I note, however, that my other kids are 3 and 5 years older respectively and both went to the same school. The pledge is something new.

Good point. I would hazzard a guess that many teachers are teaching the curriculum because they are required to, not because they necessarily agree with an abstinence-only approach.

 

[missypie]

If everyone has something against this then they could go to the school district and complain...I am sure that if enough people complained the school would do something about it..

Several months before they start sex ed, a letter goes out to the parents, inviting them to come to the district offices to preview the sex ed materials. The only people I've known who have done that were the very very religious parents who don't want their kids to be in a room where the word "sex" is spoken; they tend to opt their kids out of sex ed entirely. I didn't have a problem with my kids learning about sex, so I didn't go to preview the program: I had no idea that it was an abstinence program with a pledge included.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

What happens if they refuse to sign?

I'm just wondering because I have one of those snarky kind of kids who would look at the PE teacher and say "Dude, my sex life ain't none of your business."

This is a bit much for age 12 though. It's kind of like asking a 5 year old to sign a promise that he'll get A's in his High School Geometry class. Nice thought, but the 5 year old has little concept of what he is promising.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Bill Clinton is a fine example of someone with low morals..

I think he's got more morals than George W Bush does