Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[amy4bruce]

A chastity pledge taken when 12 is similar to Samuel Goldwyn's description of a verbal agreement - "Not worth the paper it's printed on."

DD8 attends the Pittsburgh public schools. I don't believe they teach an abstinence-only program. However, our Unitarian Universalist church teaches OWL ("Our Whole Lives") which is a sex-ed program that includes physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of sex. It is a program that is well regarded nationally, and Newsweek, when they did an article on teenage sex, mentioned that, statistically, fewer teens who take this program become pregnant then all others. That I look forward to my daughter taking.

 

[missypie]

Good point. I would hazzard a guess that many teachers are teaching the curriculum because they are required to, not because they necessarily agree with an abstinence-only approach.

I'd pay money to be a fly on the wall to hear DD's gym teacher teaching this stuff....he's such a stereotypical coach/jock/gym teacher.

 

[Passions71203]

I'd rather my kids had Bill's morals than W's morals any day of the week.

Not that I'd be holding up either of them as model behavior.

If they are the only 2 choices then I am out of luck...

Several months before they start sex ed, a letter goes out to the parents, inviting them to come to the district offices to preview the sex ed materials. The only people I've known who have done that were the very very religious parents who don't want their kids to be in a room where the word "sex" is spoken; they tend to opt their kids out of sex ed entirely. I didn't have a problem with my kids learning about sex, so I didn't go to preview the program: I had no idea that it was an abstinence program with a pledge included.

I can understand why that would be a shock to you.

 

[Kath2003]

Good point. I would hazzard a guess that many teachers are teaching the curriculum because they are required to, not because they necessarily agree with an abstinence-only approach.

I would quit my job before I taught abstinance-only.
Thankfully I live in a country where a holistic approach is mandatory, so I'll never have to quit over something like this.
That and I teach geography...

 

[Free4Life11]

They should really teach ************ education. All the pleasure, without the emotional drama, STD's, or babies.

 

[Kath2003]

They should really teach ************ education. All the pleasure, without the emotional drama, STD's, or babies.

************ should be mentioned as part of sex education. There are WAY too many kids who get told that something so natural is dirty or wrong (and who get stupid ideas and don't do things "safely"). Sex education shouldn't just be the "mechanics" and a particular moral stance, it should be holistic, and that includes emotional, moral, spiritual AND practical dimensions. ************ is part of a normal, healthy adult life.

 

[Passions71203]

They should really teach ************ education. All the pleasure, without the emotional drama, STD's, or babies.

 

[missypie]

A chastity pledge taken when 12 is similar to Samuel Goldwyn's description of a verbal agreement - "Not worth the paper it's printed on."

DD8 attends the Pittsburgh public schools. I don't believe they teach an abstinence-only program. However, our Unitarian Universalist church teaches OWL ("Our Whole Lives") which is a sex-ed program that includes physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of sex. It is a program that is well regarded nationally, and Newsweek, when they did an article on teenage sex, mentioned that, statistically, fewer teens who take this program become pregnant then all others. That I look forward to my daughter taking.

I wouldn't mind that at all. My kids have gone to Presbyterian Sunday School their whole lives and I don't believe they've received a moment of sex-ed....not even the 10th grader....guess everyone figures they're getting it all in school....

 

[declansdad]

I don't have a problem with a broad based curriculum. However, when adults (in a public school) who are also in a position of trust pressure children through group tactics to sign pledges, I am quite concerned. I'm not sure what would be the motivation for teachers to take such action with other's children, beyond a pet project/or favored bias.

The motivation would be that the curriculum says they have to do it. Why would you think that an individual teacher would take this upon themself?

 

[missypie]

I learning a lot from this thread about what words the Moderators will let us use! I'm actually rather surprised!

 

[themarquis]

Personally, I'd be fine with my kids having sex before they got married. And last time I checked, there were tons of other people out there who felt the same. The fact that there is no general consensus in this country as to whether sex before marriage is immoral is just one of the many reasons why it is absolutely not the role of a public school to mandate whether and when young people become sexually active. (besides the insignificant little fact that abstinence-only education has been studied and proven to be a dismal failure and a big waste of money )

I have a question. What if a kid refuses to sign this "contract"? Do they get an "F" in sex ed? What a ludicrous "assignment".

 

[missypie]

I can understand why that would be a shock to you.

It's actually pretty funny. The liberal parents probably read the school district's letter and say, "I don't need to preview the materials. I don't mind my kid hearing about sex." And the conservative parents say, "I don't need to preview the materials. I don't want my kid hearing about sex. We'll opt out." ....When as it turns out, the liberals would be displeased and the conservatives would be pleased with the curriculum.

 

[declansdad]

I would quit my job before I taught abstinance-only.
Thankfully I live in a country where a holistic approach is mandatory, so I'll never have to quit over something like this.
That and I teach geography...

Holistic is the best way to teach it I believe.


Doesn't Texas, with its abstinence only approach, have one of the highest teen pregnacy rates in the US?

 

[smartestnumber5]

I would be pretty ticked, but then it's not at all surprising to hear this the kind of stuff going on in abstinence-only sex ed classes.

Personally I would much prefer that my (future) kids have sex before they get married (if they even want to get married at all). For me I simply cannot fathom the idea of making any sort of serious commitment to another person without yet having explored that aspect of a relationship. I will explain that point of view to my child, but still make clear that it is completely their decision. Many other people I'm sure cannot fathom not being a virgin on their wedding night. Different strokes for different folks.

The important point, I think, is that you don't see people like me asking an entire classroom of children (probably with the full effects of peer pressure ) to sign a pledge that they will sleep around before marriage. Nor would I ever take my child to an "anti-purity" ball where they promise to get some good lovin for their mommy .

What happens if they refuse to sign?

I'm just wondering because I have one of those snarky kind of kids who would look at the PE teacher and say "Dude, my sex life ain't none of your business."

Sounds like my kind of kid!

 

[lilyv]

The motivation would be that the curriculum says they have to do it. Why would you think that an individual teacher would take this upon themself?

Well, I suppose I hope that most educated teachers would have a line that they wouldn't cross, regardless of what they are "told" to do. I believe ethical teachers would see that there are boundaries of what is appropriate in a public school setting, and that extracting signed pledges from children is not remotely a part of their job description.

 

[missypie]

I have a question. What if a kid refuses to sign this "contract"? Do they get an "F" in sex ed? What a ludicrous "assignment".

I asked DD that. She said they were told they didn't have to sign. But most kids that age have such a great desire to be like everyone else...very few have enough of an independent streak to refuse to sign.

 

[Passions71203]

I learning a lot from this thread about what words the Moderators will let us use! I'm actually rather surprised!

I am shocked too I am sure that by tonight I will have many points on my account...

 

[lulugirl]

The only reason this thread will become heated is because some will choose to push their beliefs on others, when it's not necessary.

I want my children to understand that choosing to have sex is a major and life altering decision, but it's not the dirty horrible thing some people would have them believe. It's a natural part of life. They will be taught to wait until they're in a committed relationship, mature enough to handle the risks and consequences and take the steps needed to protect themselves and their partner.

What everyone else teaches their kids is none of my business, I am responsible for making sure mine grow up to be healthy in all aspects of their lives.

What she said, especially the highlighted part

 

[missypie]

Oh by the way....I saw the pledge....it was printed to look like it was on a scroll....very Biblical looking.

 

[Bichon Barb]

If the school waited a year, I don't think there would be many 13 year old boys who would sign to it.