Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[cteddiesgirl]

Wow, how can a 12 year old be asked to sign that kind of pledge? Most 12 year olds have barely hit puberty - how can they be asked to sign a pledge without knowing the war of emotions and hormones they're going to come against in sticking to it?

If a 12-year old isn't old enough to decide that they want to have sex, how are they old enough to decide that they don't want to have sex until they are married and document that for the next 6 or more years of their life?

Plus - who needs something written on a piece of paper? Sex is between the two individual's involved, not some document printed by the school

But then I think abstinence-education is naive. Telling them that saying no is the only 100% safe option is of course the smart thing to do, but for the huge number of teens who don't make it to marriage before they have sex, they need to know how to have sex safely.

This is my view. My children will be taught fully about sex ed when the time comes. I will never ask them to sign something like this and I would refuse to let my child sign something like this.

 

[mamacatnv]

Grade schools have anti-drug pep rallies. I wonder if that has ANY lasting effect on them once they hit high school or beyond.

From what I have read - statistically, No.

 

[Passions71203]

This exactly. I would be in the principal's office so fast, I'd set the floor on fire.

Why, oh why, do schools continue to waste everyone's time with programs that simply do not work? We are currently keeping our 10 year old out of DARE.

B/c Newsflash...there are still people that believe in saving sex until Marriage...I now that is a shocker to you..

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't think it is the school's place to tell kids to remain chaste until marriage. That is sometthing that is personal and none of their business. Teach them the facts of sex ed and leave the morals out of it. That is for home.

 

[Passions71203]

This is my view. My children will be taught fully about sex ed when the time comes. I will never ask them to sign something like this and I would refuse to let my child sign something like this.

I am proud to say that I would support my Daughter signing this.. So go ahead and flame me, I can take it.

 

[Kath2003]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

There's teaching, and then there's pledge-signing. Abstinence is one option, but the other option should also be explored so that the majority of people who do not wait for marriage to have sex can make a responsible, educated decision about it.

How can you expect a 12-year old to make a decision which could affect the rest of their life, about an activity they're not considered legally, morally or emotionally able to consent to?

 

[Crankyshank]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

Who's to say the child wouldn't be taught abstinence? I believe the issue is with 1) Abstinence only education, which I feel is "head in the sand" education and incredibly dangerous 2) overstepping parental boundaries with the pledge.

 

[Passions71203]

I don't think it is the school's place to tell kids to remain chaste until marriage. That is sometthing that is personal and none of their business. Teach them the facts of sex ed and leave the morals out of it. That is for home.

And what about the children that don't have good, role models, and morals?

 

[Crankyshank]

There's teaching, and then there's pledge-signing. Abstinence is one option, but the other option should also be explored so that the majority of people who do not wait for marriage to have sex can make a responsible, educated decision about it.

How can you expect a 12-year old decision which could affect the rest of their life, about an activity they're not considered legally, morally emotionally about to consent to?

Very well said.

 

[missypie]

I don't think it is the school's place to tell kids to remain chaste until marriage. That is sometthing that is personal and none of their business. Teach them the facts of sex ed and leave the morals out of it. That is for home.

I have absolutely no problem with them scaring the heck out of them about STDs...and if they tell them that a surefire way to avoid them is abstinence....great.

 

[Pigeon]

B/c Newsflash...there are still people that believe in saving sex until Marriage...I now that is a shocker to you..

Then talk about it at home. Personally, I want my kids to wait until they are in a committed relationship, but have no particular interest in whether they wait until they are married. This is a public school, not a church.

I don't have a problem with abstinence being part of a comprehensive sex education program, but not a disproportionate part. But pledges of this sort in no way belong in public schools.

Sex is a very personal decision between two people, and it has nothing to do with signing papers in a public school.

 

[Passions71203]

Who's to say the child wouldn't be taught abstinence? I believe the issue is with 1) Abstinence only education, which I feel is "head in the sand" education and incredibly dangerous 2) overstepping parental boundaries with the pledge.

Not all states have problems with abstinence based education...

 

[Mouse House Mama]

And what about the children that don't have good, role models, and morals?

According to who though? I might meet you and not think you are a good role model (not saying you are or aren't). What if I don't agree with your morals? Does that make me a poor role model?

 

[declansdad]

Who's to say the child wouldn't be taught abstinence? I believe the issue is with 1) Abstinence only education, which I feel is "head in the sand" education and incredibly dangerous 2) overstepping parental boundaries with the pledge.

I agree with your first point but not really the second. I don't see the big deal about the pledge; afterall, it's not a legally binding agreement. I also don't think all the students would decided against having sex because of the pledge they made at 12. I don't see it any different than any other pledge they made be asked to sign (the drinking and driving contract for example).

I not saying that they should drink and drive, but rather that this type of agreement doesn't really carry a lot of weight for many people.

 

[Chloe'sMom]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

To answer your question.

Teaching about abstinence is teaching morals and I believe that my daughter's father and myself should be the one teaching her about morals.

Teaching about abstinence has a place in teaching about faith (ie marriage) and again I feel that is our job to teach a child about faith.

Encouraging an abstinence only thought process could possibly lead my child into believing that I would freak out and be "mad" should they have sexual intercourse. I want my child to feel comfortable approaching me should they become sexually active.

Teaching abstinence only and having a child sign a contract is possibly damaging as it sets up the highest of high standards.

A 12 year is not legally capable of entering a contract and therefore should not be encouraged to sign ANYTHING without parental consent.

~Amanda

 

[Passions71203]

According to who though? I might meet you and not think you are a good role model (not saying you are or aren't). What if I don't agree with your morals? Does that make me a poor role model?

like children whom have parents that are in and out of jail, people that have drug problems, etc, etc,

 

[Pigeon]

And what about the children that don't have good, role models, and morals?

Who is the arbiter of what constitutes a good role model or good morals? I'm sure that we disagree completely on what constitutes good morals. Many of the abstinence only promoters are completely immoral in my book.

 

[Crankyshank]

Not all states have problems with abstinence based education...

What does state decisions have to do with the price of tea in China? Or in this case, the reason why people would be upset that their child was forced to sign a chastity pledge. Are you being deliberately obtuse?

 

[NMAmy]

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??

I'm not saying I wouldn't talk to my child about abstinence. I also want her to have the facts on how to protect herself if she should decide to have sex earlier. Or even when she's married--she may not want to have children right away.

I also do not want the school involved in any kind of a pledge. I do not want an authority figure who may not have the same beliefs I have telling my child at a ridiculously young age that she has to promise not to have sex until she's married.

I saw WAY too many girls get married too young and to the wrong guy so they could have sex.

As long as my child waits until she's in college, I'm great with that. I've discussed the benefits of that for HER and I hope she does that. But, I don't want her to get married just to have sex.

You're welcome to your opinion. Just don't force it on me or my child. Just because my morals aren't the same as yours, doesn't make them wrong.

And who gets to decide whose parent is a good role model or "moral"? I think it's wrong not to give children all the information they need to survive in life.

 

[yasmina]

If my soon-to-be 12 daughter comes home with a chastity pledge, I will rip it up and contact the school board. No going up the chain of command.

As a public school teacher, I say it is NOT the place of a school system to provide this. Provide education as to the benefits of remaining abstinent - yes. Provide education about methods of birth control and how to avoid STDs - absolutely.