Any other total single parents here?

[Jennasmomma]

I know some men post so thats why I didnt say just single moms (see guys I acknowledge you ahah).

What I mean totally single is that the other parent is not involved at all...no visitiation, no phone calls, and most important no child support.

 

[Stacerita]

Im a completely single parent. The sweetpea came home to a single parent home and I am her only parent.

On the sweetpea's birth certificate it has my name as the mother, and "withheld" as the father. I didn't want to make it easy for him to come into her life if he wasn't there at the begining.

Her father saw her once when she was about 4 months old. That was the only time he has ever saw her. His parents saw her a handful of times between 4 months and 9 months. He and his parents made it clear that it would be different if she was a he.

No child support from him what so ever.

He is compeletely out of her life and Im thankful for that. I would hate for him to be in and out of her life. Or for her to be one of those kids always waiting for her dad to come see her. It would break my heart.

Its not the easiest thing for the sweetpea, but I know she is adjusted and doing fine with not having a father around. Most of the time its not a problem, but every once in a while it comes up. Especially when there is a "father/daughter" thing, or she needs to do a family tree. She has an amazing uncle and grandfather though who are there for her. And Im not afraid to step up and be "dad" if need be.

So yeah, Im a total single parent....and proud of it too!

 

[Jennasmomma]

Yeah Im a total single mom. I have a lot of family help though. I live next door to my parents, sister and now her boyfriend.

Its a very complicated story as to where her father is. (not jail or anything like that). He knows I have a child and just leaves it at that.

DD calls my dad, daddy. She knows he's really pappy. Its just easier for her in school to say "my daddy this or that".

What promted me to ask this is tonight my family was playing a game together. I happened to look over at my dd when it was her turn and realized wow she has her fathers hands. As she's getting older, I can see him in her more. I was just curious if other single parents notice traits of the missing parent too or what not.

 

[debabe723]

I've been a single parent since my son was born but in my case, his father does pay child support. Never missed a payment or even been late once in 15+ years. We had been in a long term relationship but he was adament that he did not want to be a father and once I got pregnant, that was it with he and I. He saw my son once by accident (at the airport of all places) when DS was 18 months but hasn't seen him since. He has been in therapy and did reach out about 2 years ago, but DS has no interest in knowing him. My son is a very happy, well adjusted kid and just the best thing that ever happened to me. What's really amazing is that my son has so many of his father's characteristics and mannerisms, it's scary. And as he gets older, he is starting to look more and more like him. But that's ok with me.

 

[aprilgail2]

I am a single parent by choice...no child supprt (and honestly I don't need it, I make more than enough to support us-NEVER on any public assistance my ever), no visititaion etc....I just prefer it this way.

 

[we3disneygo]

to all the single parents out there......I was one of those kids waiting for the dad to show and he hardly ever did.......................... sounds like your all doing great jobs.....

 

[ILUVMYBRIT]

 

[makinorlando]

I am a totally single mom. I asked my ex to leave when DD9 was 5 mos old due to a problem with alchohol. It was not my intent to have him out of her life, that was his choice. He agreed to child support, but has paid $250, and is now close to $50K in arrears, and has eluded all attempts by several states to locate him. I even had difficulty divorcing him w/o his signature, but finally got that completed last year.

We do not need him financially, and I know that unless he has made dramatic changes in his way of life, that DD is probably better off without him in her life The man I knew would have broken her heart 100x I am sure.

Every year, the wish she makes when she blows our the candles on her cake is that he will come back for one day so she could meet him. Breaks my heart! I can't deny her that wish, and for her I hope that one day when she is old enough to make the decisions that maybe he will re-surface to see what a wonderful kid he missed out on raising, but it wold be a very difficult time for me!

 

[Art Vandalay]

Woo, the guys get acknowledged for once! Thanks

I guess I'm not totally cut off from my ex. But no child support (didn't want it), very infrequent phone calls, very limited visitation (just a couple weeks in the summer and frankly, I'd like that to end).

 

[Feralpeg]

I am a total single parent. I had DD using artificial insemination from an unknown donor.

 

[VSL]

My mother was a totally single mum (I was half-adopted at about 5/6yrs old by my dad - not biological). Bio-father was not interested.

Apparently I look a lot like my bio-father - my mother is naturally pale/fair while I am a lot darker (although anaemic now!). I'm not much like my mother in personality either :

 

[carolfoy]

I'm a single parent although my DS Callum has a lot of visitation with his dad, the child support system doesn't work, whether he pays it or not it sure doesn't get to me. I wouldn't stop Callum from seeing his dad but I'm sure when he's old enough to properly understand money he'll know I raise him financially on my own.
There was a lot of time when I wished his dad would just go and not try and see him, now I know that his input is valued even if its not valued in the ££ sense.

 

[Disney Doll]

You know, I had a friend in HS who got pregnant and married the man who fathered her child. They divorced about a year later and he made her life and the life of their child a living hell for years, offered no real financial, emotional or parenting support. He finally "lost interest" when the child was about 7 and moved on to other things.

She has often said if she knew then what she knows now that she would have told everyone that she had no idea who the child's father was and raised her alone. Back in the day(early 80's) this would have sullied her reputation, but in the long run, it would have made her life much easier.

 

[clutter]

Another totally single parent by choice here. DD, almost 9, and I are a two-person family. You know, one strong parent can easily provide more stability than two parents in a bad, sometimes even a mediocre, relationship.

 

[SillyMe]

Single parent here second time around. My dd14's "donor...doesn't deserve the title dad or father" has never ever been in her life. We divorced when I was 3 months pregnant and she does not know him. He is currently about $7,000 in arrears in child support.

My dd6's father and I just separated. He does see her but is fighting me financially, so we'll see what happens.

Being a single parent isn't easy but it does have it's pros just as well as it's cons!

 

[ugadog99]

I am a single parent-total. I was left a widow at age 30. At the time I had a 3 year old daughter and was 6 months pregnant with my younger DD. That was 12 years ago. I have raised them alone ever since.

 

[Jennasmomma]

Thank you everyone for sharing with me. I just sometimes get so confused with my feelings. I know where the "donor (I use that term too)" is. He's in the next town over with a wife and 6 kids. His family along with him, know my lil girl is his. They are so mature (insert eye roll here) that when we see them in public...they immediately look at the ground or turn their heads so that they dont have to see if DD looks like him.

I find myself sometimes late at night playing the "what if" game. Its a sticky situation though...I never came OUT right and told him he was her father because of something he did in his past I was afraid he'd repeat. If he was single I wouldnt want him back. Yet I still find myself thinking about him, and thinking I have feelings for him. *sigh*

I guess the real problem is I have no one to talk to about this. My family is very supportive and helpful in raising DD.. However...they dont EVER want to discuss him. Im suppose to just forget about him *sigh*

 

[CathrynRose]

Not a parent - but Im the daughter of a single-mom.

Completely single, no child support, no visitation, no birthday cards (let alone gifts) Nothing....(she never even dated again, either)

I never realized how much she did and gave up, until being a mother, now. And of course she just passed away January 28th - and it makes you think - A LOT.

She did amazing. I never (and still dont) think about the fact I dont have a Dad. It bugs me that HE doesnt have anything to do with me (his only child, with his only grand-children) but my Mom *was* my Mom and my Dad. She did girly things (like shopping) she did man-ly things (like fixed things and put things together)

You can do it - and you'll be given lotsa "extra credit" (IMO) in the after-life.

 

[Robinrs]

I call myself an involuntary single Mom.

My son's Dad became schizophrenic during my pregnancy and had to be institutionalized by the time Michael was 3 months old.

I have NO regrets and consider the pairing of Michael and myself a blessing from God. We are best friends, compadres, everything to each other. His father IS in his life and I regret only that he knew the man I knew, though he loves him nonetheless.

I enjoy my status of being the one and only influence (besides God) on my son. His father would've torn his ego apart and I was not going to allow that. Even now when he tries I can see he has no effect because I was able to give him his confidence BEFORE his father tried to emotionally effect him. His MOM thinks he hung the moon so he believe it, no matter how vile his father can be.

Now we go to the church of a wonderful Pastor who was raised by a single Mom also, he sees the example of an awesome man of God who did it by being led by a true love source. My Dad was also a wonderful leader for him, and he was raised by a single Mom, too!

I tell people don't waste your time feeling sorry for us. Me and my 13yo dollbaby are doing just fine!

 

[Jennifer S]

I'm not a single parent but I am really in awe of you all. I could not imagine doing this alone. You have my respect and just think the world of all you single parents. Your kids are lucky to have you!!