Any other total single parents here?

[aprincessmom]

Not totally alone...DD still sees her dad but is in the process of petitioning the court to stop the visitation. Long story but it's her decision made after lengthy deliberation...she and I have tried hard to make it work but my 10 year old is apparently smarter and far more mature than her 45 year old father. I am heartbroken for her because she doesn't deserve it and I'm sad for him because he is so clueless as to what he's wrought and what he'll miss.

No financial support...never had it, didn't need it. No help with covering sick days, vacation days, no school days, etc. It's all me. I have a great network of family and friends who I couldn't not do this without.

It's funny but I don't have any regrets about our divorce or being a single parent. I take that back...I regret I didn't kick his sorry butt to the curb earlier but what is past is past. It's like Robinrs says...people needn't feel sorry for DD and I, we are doing great!

Good luck to all the single moms and dads on the board. It's a tough position to be in but the benefits -- the hugs, kisses, laughter and day-to-day adventures -- make it all worth while!

 

[MamaLema]

I'm not a single parent but these posts are interesting to me. My mom has never revealed who my father is...and I'm 31 now.

I was just wondering if one day you will support your kids if they want to meet their dad...even if they don't want anything to do with them. My mom doesn't support this even now.

 

[Jennasmomma]

I'm not a single parent but these posts are interesting to me. My mom has never revealed who my father is...and I'm 31 now.

I was just wondering if one day you will support your kids if they want to meet their dad...even if they don't want anything to do with them. My mom doesn't support this even now.

I have a picture of "donor". I plan on telling her the whole story when she is old enough to hear/understand it. At age 10 right now she calls her grandfather "daddy". When she started school she asked why she doesnt have a daddy. Broke my heart. I told her at age 5..She has one. He just lives far far away. I didnt know what else to say. She is a happy well adjusted child.

 

[SillyMe]

I'm not a single parent but these posts are interesting to me. My mom has never revealed who my father is...and I'm 31 now.

I was just wondering if one day you will support your kids if they want to meet their dad...even if they don't want anything to do with them. My mom doesn't support this even now.

That's tough. My dd is 14yo. As of now she has no interest in meeting him, but that could change in the future. She knows the truth about him. Somehow I doubt she will ever want to meet him, but if she does I will be here for her. I will not encourage her because I know it's not in her best interest to meet him or have him in her life. However, like I said, I will be here for her if she decides to do it because I know she will need me afterward. He will disappoint her more than she could ever imagine.

 

[Art Vandalay]

I have a picture of "donor". I plan on telling her the whole story when she is old enough to hear/understand it. At age 10 right now she calls her grandfather "daddy". When she started school she asked why she doesnt have a daddy. Broke my heart. I told her at age 5..She has one. He just lives far far away. I didnt know what else to say. She is a happy well adjusted child.

My daughter is 7 and she's had kids at school telling her, "You have no mommy!" She gets very upset by that.

 

[Jennasmomma]

My daughter is 7 and she's had kids at school telling her, "You have no mommy!" She gets very upset by that.

omg your poor baby! Kids can be so cruel.

 

[Art Vandalay]

omg your poor baby! Kids can be so cruel.

Part of the reason it upsets her so much is there's a good bit of truth to it. And at 7, she's starting to realize a lot more about her mother.

In any event, I understand your concern about having no one to talk to. I couldn't talk to my family about a lot of things. They've been great, mind you, but for various reasons, I just couldn't.

But you do need someone to talk to about everything. If nothing else, you can vent your frustrations with everything. Trust me when I say that keeping everything to yourself doesn't help.

 

[jennyl772003]

Well, I am not a single mom anymore, but my son has no contact with his bio dad. 2 years ago he officially terminated his rights, but they haven't seen each other in almost 6 years. (DS is 8)

My DS does look a lot like his bio dad. He really doesn't favor me at all. The older he gets, the more resemblence I see. Sometimes it is weird seeing my ex in my son. But, I realize that it is all just superficial.

I am also lucky in that my DH (DS's REAL dad) and DS have an uncanny resemblence to each other, even though there is no blood relation. We actually get comments on how much DS looks like his dad. We just smile to ourselves.

 

[SillyMe]

In any event, I understand your concern about having no one to talk to. I couldn't talk to my family about a lot of things. They've been great, mind you, but for various reasons, I just couldn't.

But you do need someone to talk to about everything. If nothing else, you can vent your frustrations with everything. Trust me when I say that keeping everything to yourself doesn't help.

Listen to him. He's a very wise man and has become a great friend to me in helping me deal with these very issues.

 

[Feralpeg]

I'm not a single parent but these posts are interesting to me. My mom has never revealed who my father is...and I'm 31 now.

I was just wondering if one day you will support your kids if they want to meet their dad...even if they don't want anything to do with them. My mom doesn't support this even now.

DD has occasionally talked about trying to find out who her father is. I believe it is a curiosity thing more than anything else. I told her it will be her decision and I will not help her do this. I signed an agreement that I would never attempt to learn his identity. I plan on living up to that agreement. This is a person who was kind enough to give of himself so that I could have a child. He never asked to be involved in the resulting child and has a life of his own. For all I know he could have dozens of donor children.

I told DD that she could be setting herself up for disappointment if she did find out. There is a very good chance that he would not want to be part of her life. The only way I would help is if it were a medical emergency. At that point, the court would decide whether to unlock the information.

 

[Art Vandalay]

Listen to him. He's a very wise man and has become a great friend to me in helping me deal with these very issues.

Dunno how wise I am But you're a good friend