Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[mummabear]

Conservative Church wedding here. No alcohol.

Do think a cash bar is acceptable for non alcoholic drinks?

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I'm curious, have you even actually experienced this, being charged in someone's backyard? Or are you supposing? Because that I've never heard of!

Yep, I've been "charged" for an event in someone's backyard. Not a wedding, but a college graduation party. The food was catered, simple, deli platters, hot meatball sandwiches, salads, etc. I'm guessing the host, my cousin, the graduate's father, provided the alcohol. Word got around that he was accepting donations, suggested amount of $20 per guest.

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

I don't think I've ever been to a reception where punch was served. A few dry events, with soft drinks, ice tea, etc, but not punch.

Rarely it seems. Probably the same reason nobody does chocolate fountains any longer.

Our society is in a perfect storm where most people are more germ-aware at the same time that most people haven't been taught to cover their mouth when they sneeze.

Two years ago I saw something at a wedding reception that I hadn't seen in about 30 years, a whiskey sour fountain.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Do think a cash bar is acceptable for non alcoholic drinks?

Absolutely not. I was amazed when a prior poster said only tap water was free at a reception she attended. Soft drinks or lemonade, or iced tea, or even punch should be provided free of charge. And of course, hot coffee and tea after dinner, even if the bride never drinks it herself.

 

[bcla]

Do think a cash bar is acceptable for non alcoholic drinks?

I've been to company parties where we were handed tickets for beverage service. Premium alcohol cost extra, but a soft drink cost one ticket just like an alcoholic well drink. If one ran out of tickets, it became a cash bar, and prices varied.

 

[nugov2]

Yep, I've been "charged" for an event in someone's backyard. Not a wedding, but a college graduation party. The food was catered, simple, deli platters, hot meatball sandwiches, salads, etc. I'm guessing the host, my cousin, the graduate's father, provided the alcohol. Word got around that he was accepting donations, suggested amount of $20 per guest.



Two years ago I saw something at a wedding reception that I hadn't seen in about 30 years, a whiskey sour fountain.

Wow on the donation that is nuts!!

I once saw a dollar dance at a wedding...the bride put on an apron to collect the dollars. There was an open bar, so maybe they were using those dollars to foot the bill

 

[tigercat]

My wedding many years ago was a dry wedding. It was at a hotel though so the people that really wanted alcohol could go and get it. We provided punches, juices and pop free. My fil decided that he couldn't do without getting drunk so had a room in the hotel that he set up with lots of alcohol. He then invited the one's on his side that were all alcoholics up there. That's where my dh's side stayed. Drinking. I was so glad we had gone with a dry wedding and I didn't have to put up with all those alcoholics.

For my daughters wedding my dh and I ended up paying for everything. We said we would pay for a dry wedding. We would provide punches, pop, ice tea, coffee, tea and juices free but NO alcohol. My son-in-law was upset and wanted an open bar. The people that were coming on our side didn't drink alcohol and we were not going to serve alcohol. Sorry but I don't believe in it or want it around me As well the hall we rented was going to cost a lot more because of alcohol. We told him and his family that if they wanted alcohol they could arrange it and they had to pay for the added cost for the hall before arranging anything. They did and then decided to have a cash bar. The caterer ended up being really mad at them because they sold hardly anything at all.

They also wanted champagne for the toasts and we had planned on a sparkling special drink. Again I told them if they wanted it they had to pay for it and pay for the fee for opening it. Didn't happen. They didn't want to have to pay for anything at all but wanted a lot of things.

Oh and the flower budget didn't cost us a cent. My sister had flower arrangements that she had made for a function she did (dried flowers) that were actually in the colours of the wedding. She let us use them.

We did supply lots to drink just not alcoholic drinks. If someone can't survive one evening without alcohol than something is wrong with them.

tigercat

 

[mummabear]

Absolutely not. I was amazed when a prior poster said only tap water was free at a reception she attended. Soft drinks or lemonade, or iced tea, or even punch should be provided free of charge. And of course, hot coffee and tea after dinner, even if the bride never drinks it herself.

I agree!

 

[bcla]

I've been to company parties where we were handed tickets for beverage service. Premium alcohol cost extra, but a soft drink cost one ticket just like an alcoholic well drink. If one ran out of tickets, it became a cash bar, and prices varied.

I was curious if anyone had tried using drink tickets at a wedding, and did a search. I found a lot of discussion of it on wedding websites, and a few examples of custom tickets.

This one is kind of cute.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm a fan of people throwing the party that they can afford or the kind of party they prefer (if you don't drink and don't want drinking at your party then don't have it) rather than making their guests pay.

However if someone is going to have a cash bar, it's nice to let people know so they can actually bring some cash.

 

[aprilgail]

Wow on the donation that is nuts!!

I once saw a dollar dance at a wedding...the bride put on an apron to collect the dollars. There was an open bar, so maybe they were using those dollars to foot the bill

LOL- the "dollar dance" thing always reminds me of a stripper at a strip club!

I was curious if anyone had tried using drink tickets at a wedding, and did a search. I found a lot of discussion of it on wedding websites, and a few examples of custom tickets.

This one is kind of cute.

Not a fan-is it a wedding or a carnival? Saw that at a sweet 16 but it was really to just keep the underage kids from drinking they gave unlimited tickets to the adults.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Wow on the donation that is nuts!!

I once saw a dollar dance at a wedding...the bride put on an apron to collect the dollars. There was an open bar, so maybe they were using those dollars to foot the bill

Growing up I saw that in a lot of Latin weddings and I've seen it at Greek weddings. Not exactly a dollar dance but a variation of it.

 

[holden]

To me, the *last* place I would expect there not to be an open bar is in someone's backyard. No alcohol there? Sure. But to be charged for drinks in someone's backyard would shock me.

Lol! I didn't mean there might be a cash bar in someone's backyard. I meant that they might only serve non-alcoholic drinks.

 

[CPanther95]

If someone can't survive one evening without alcohol than something is wrong with them.

Same goes for food.

Personally, I set my sights higher than just insuring the survival of my guests.

 

[mjkacmom]

Serious question, do people not serve punch anymore?

I'm almost 50, and have yet to see punch served anywhere, for any occasion.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm almost 50, and have yet to see punch served anywhere, for any occasion.

I've had punch at various events, including a fair number of baby showers.

 

[msjprincess]

Same goes for food.

Personally, I set my sights higher than just insuring the survival of my guests.

Exactly. It has nothing to do with "need". Wanting to have a drink at a wedding doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.

 

[DawnM]

Do think a cash bar is acceptable for non alcoholic drinks?

No, cash bar is never acceptable, BUT, I do see the point of offering only beer and wine, you can offer whatever you want, it is your wedding. If it is in a venue, like a hotel, where you can get other drinks, mixed drinks, etc...and people want to leave your party to walk over to the bar and get it, then that is fine.

 

[nugov2]

Exactly. It has nothing to do with "need". Wanting to have a drink at a wedding doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.

Exactly, I don't even get that mentality of you can survive one night without alcohol. You could survive one night without a lot of things that make a party more enjoyable. I am guessing people who equate alcohol as bad grew up around or themselves had issues with alcohol. Lots of things done in excess can be bad....even food so why serve food at all at a wedding. What if someone has a food addiction and eats too much cake...maybe it shouldn't be provided either.

 

[gemini2727]

Exactly. It has nothing to do with "need". Wanting to have a drink at a wedding doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.

ITA.
You can survive without food, music, getting dressed up, dancing, etc., but it wouldn't be much of a party, would it?
Many, many people can and do drink moderately with no problem

 

[mjkacmom]

I've had punch at various events, including a fair number of baby showers.

I believe you, I've only seen soda, iced tea (unsweetened) and lemonade.