I hope that my children will be smart enough at that age not to make a ridiculous decision like attending a school where they will be drowning in debt when then graduate.
It's not about being smart vs. being dumb. It's that 17 and 18-year olds are asked to make decisions about big financial numbers, and they simply don't have the life experience to make those decisions well.
I know that when I was in high school I could certainly see that a $5000 school cost less than a $20,000 school (those were realistic numbers in the 1980s), and I could see that a teacher might come out of school earning $14,000/year, while an engineer could expect something in the mid-20s . . . but I didn't have the life experience to put it all together and figure out whether that $14,000 paycheck would mean living at home with mom and dad vs. an apartment vs. buying a starter house. I knew that loans had to be repaid, but I didn't understand whether repaying a $5000 loan would mean a small sacrafice like driving a used car or a huge sacrafice like taking on a second job and living at home. I had no clue whatsoever about taxes, insurance, and retirement savings. I wasn't yet able to juggle all those numbers in my head.
My own daughter is (as of noon-time today) a senior, and she's very smart -- both academically and in terms of common sense. But I'm not leaving these big financial decisions entirely in her hands because she's not experienced enough to decide about taking on debt vs. other choices.
LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Very true!! What a lot of parents also don't realize is students cannot get loans (private-anything beyond the measly Stafford/Perkins) without their (the parents') co-signatures. They (the students) simply don't have the credit history yet to do so. So when parents say 'my child can get the loans him/herself', it makes me crazy. At the very least, parents need to co-sign for x number of years until they can fall off as a co-signer (and only after x amount of years of on time payments). Years ago, there were many employers who paid a decent % of college costs for their employees (this is how I finished on the 12 year plan!)..but with this economy, the companies just aren't as generous. As parents, we're the best support for our children's education and future. Aside from the military, gone are the days of young people really getting free or reduced college tuition/expenses paid by means other than parents savings or loans.
Yes and no -- a student can't get an official student loan . . . but just about anyone can get a credit card without a co-signer, and that can be used to pay for college expenses. At a very high interest rate.
IF my kids don't make it on their own they won't be living in my basement. It's sink or swim with me. If you don't do what you need to do to make it on your own, you suffer the consequences, I will not be there to bail anyone out. It has nothing to do with selfishness either. People who are bailed out or constantly helped along the way never learn how to do for themselves. I will give my kids the best possible tools to learn how to take care of themselves as they grow up but as adults they will either make it or not, I will not catch them. I'm teaching them now to do for themselves. I do this because I know it is best for them, not easiest for me. I take the time to teach them even though in almost all cases it would be easier for me to do the task for them. But I take the extra time to teach them and then expect them to do it on their own. It's not selfish at all, quite the opposite. I want them to be hardworking, determined adults. I don't look at my current job as raising children, I look at it as raising independent adults.
It's very easy to see things in black-and-white when your kids are 7 and 9.
Here's the larger point: You don't suddenly teach your kids responsibility when they're college-aged. You teach it in small ways starting when they're toddlers . . . then you give them more responsibility and hold them accountable in elementary school . . . and more still when they're teenagers. If, by the time they're actually college-aged, they haven't learned their lessons, then it'd be smart not to send them away to college at all. They're probably not ready. On the other hand,
if they've proven themselves capable of managing their time and their money in high school, then why make their lives harder by withholding college money that could make their lives easier, allow them more time to take advantage of college opportunities, and help them graduate with less stress and on time?
Their investment in my future paid off. I ended up taking care of both of them as they got older, I could do that see, because I had a good job because I went to a good college.
That's what FAMILIES do. Help each other, support each....until DEATH, not 18.
That's exactly how I see it. I've provided for them for 14 and 17 years, and I'll help them through college financially. I won't give them every single penny, but I'll make it do-able, safe, and moderately stress-free. This'll allow them to start earning a professional salary from a young age. It'll allow them to start their professional lives without the burden of debt. It'll allow them to have children and buy homes at a reasonable age.
The repayment for this help, as I see it, is two-fold: I expect them to do the same thing for their own children, and I expect them to take care of me when I'm elderly (not financially because I should have enough saved for retirement, but in other ways).
You really should start saving something. Is it your plan your daughter should try to work minimum wage jobs and get through college? Lots and Lots and Lots of kids are 4.0 students these days. Getting any kind of full scholarship is a real long shot.
The college my daughter hopes to attend costs about $12,000/year -- that's tuition, books, dorm, food. Let's say she works for $8/hour. She'll need to work 20 weeks x 40 hours/week (I'm thinking that's her summer job) AND ALSO work 25 hours/week during the school year. Of course, that assumes that she pays no taxes, has no work-related expenses (like transporation or clothing), and doesn't need any spending money during the school year. And this assumes that she can find full-time work in the summer. Also, a student who's working this many hours is less likely to maintain top grades, and thus is likely not to earn or maintain scholarships.
Realistically, a student in this situation is probably going to graduate with debt or is going to require more than 4 years to finish school. Those aren't the choices I want for my kids -- not when I can help them through school. There's a lot of space between "here's my checkbook, go wild!" and "you're on your own, Miss Adult. Hope you swim."
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). He worked as well, and lived on someone's porch for a couple of years. He got out on his own right after college graduation, as well. Again, good job, and no loans to pay.
