Another saving for college question!

[tlbwriter]

My DD is just finishing 6th grade and we don't have anything saved for her for college yet. She does have a small savings account that I said is her college money, but that's it.

Is this money in her name, or yours? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe money in her name will decrease her ability to get need-based aid more than it would if the money is in your name.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

That's a really unique look at parenting. My parents didn't have a bunch of money, but they knew I was totally serious about college and they could trust me. So we all worked together to get me into the best school possible: I got the good grades and some grants and scholarships, and they helped with all they could, and I took out loans for the rest.

Their investment in my future paid off. I ended up taking care of both of them as they got older, I could do that see, because I had a good job because I went to a good college.

That's what FAMILIES do. Help each other, support each....until DEATH, not 18.

We said!

 

[tlbwriter]

IF my kids don't make it on their own they won't be living in my basement. It's sink or swim with me. If you don't do what you need to do to make it on your own, you suffer the consequences, I will not be there to bail anyone out. It has nothing to do with selfishness either. People who are bailed out or constantly helped along the way never learn how to do for themselves. I will give my kids the best possible tools to learn how to take care of themselves as they grow up but as adults they will either make it or not, I will not catch them. I'm teaching them now to do for themselves. I do this because I know it is best for them, not easiest for me. I take the time to teach them even though in almost all cases it would be easier for me to do the task for them. But I take the extra time to teach them and then expect them to do it on their own. It's not selfish at all, quite the opposite. I want them to be hardworking, determined adults. I don't look at my current job as raising children, I look at it as raising independent adults.

Are you bailing your kids out constantly? No? Then why do you expect them to turn into entitled little brats as soon as they graduate from high school? If you've raised your kids the way you say you have, there's no reason to suspect they're going to stop being hardworking and determined just because you pay for their college. I see no reason to put this roadblock in front of them just because you're afraid it's going to make them "weak." By the time they get to college, it will be too late for that.

 

[MrsPete]

Are you bailing your kids out constantly? No? Then why do you expect them to turn into entitled little brats as soon as they graduate from high school? If you've raised your kids the way you say you have, there's no reason to suspect they're going to stop being hardworking and determined just because you pay for their college. I see no reason to put this roadblock in front of them just because you're afraid it's going to make them "weak." By the time they get to college, it will be too late for that.

Makes sense to me.

I do see students at school who've been bailed out constantly, and it's not a pretty sight: Lacking in problem-solving skills, they feel that the world owes them everything, and they feel that everything is someone else's problem.

BUT on occasion kids need to be bailed out. Occasionally kids are put in a no-win situation that's genuinely not of their own making, and it's right for parents to swoop in and fix things. Kids develop an attitude of "entitlement" based upon a pattern of being saved. All parents may miss the mark a time or two, may go overboard or not do enough a time or two, but fear of that shouldn't equate to throwing your kids out to sink or swim after graduation.

 

[jodifla]

Are you bailing your kids out constantly? No? Then why do you expect them to turn into entitled little brats as soon as they graduate from high school? If you've raised your kids the way you say you have, there's no reason to suspect they're going to stop being hardworking and determined just because you pay for their college. I see no reason to put this roadblock in front of them just because you're afraid it's going to make them "weak." By the time they get to college, it will be too late for that.

How true!

 

[RadioFanatic]

Are you bailing your kids out constantly? No? Then why do you expect them to turn into entitled little brats as soon as they graduate from high school? If you've raised your kids the way you say you have, there's no reason to suspect they're going to stop being hardworking and determined just because you pay for their college. I see no reason to put this roadblock in front of them just because you're afraid it's going to make them "weak." By the time they get to college, it will be too late for that.

I completely agree. I knew my parents were going to pay for my college for me - it didn't make me entitled, in fact it did the exact opposite. Bc I knew my parents were going to pay for it, I did everything in my power to have them pay as little as they had to, by working my rear off getting good grades so I could get scholarships. I also went to my second place school instead of first place, not bc I didn't get into first place, but bc second place offered me a full ride. I decided if I didn't like it after first year, i would then go to first place school - I loved it there though, so stayed. Bc they didn't pay for college, they offered to pay for my law school - so once again, i worked my rear off and got scholarships to cut down the costs and even the last year worked a job at the school which brought the cost down. I worked with them to make it easier for all, not against.

I think if somone is entitled, that's the way they are based upon earlier factors of upbringing, not simply bc the parents pay for college.

We started a 529 the day our son was born and have put in $200 a month. He is three and it's almost at $9,000 bc of interest.

 

[nchulka]

Okay I will have to admit some of you have a point. I was coming at it from the perspective of college just being another thing that an overindulgent parent was paying for so there precious child wouldn't have to work and still get everything they want without putting forth any effort. I can see that some parents are raising hard working children and just wanting to help them a bit. I still don't know that I will choose to do that but I can see it. What I am seeing is children who have gotten all they ever wanted from parents who see it as their duty as parents to make sure their child has the latest clothes, electronics, etc., a new car when they turn 16, and don't want them bothered by "work" but want them to "have fun" and "enjoy their childhood". Those kids grow up to still be kids in their 20's and 30's, and why wouldn't they, being a kid was awesome and being a grown up adult is hard. I find that attitude sickening. I am rebelling against that kind of parenting. Maybe I am going too far the other way, I don't know. I just know I don't want my kids to be spoiled brats. I can see where parents who have raised children who are used to hard work and paying their own way can reasonably expect to help them through college and still have responsible hard working children.

 

[dntd]

We are counting on 2 things OSAP school loan which can give a loan where most is forgiven( Mine this year will be for 27,000 but I'll have to only pay 7,000 back). We have a lot of home equity, so if they can't get a loan we can help out. That being said no one I know that has went to collage the parents helped out, some needed to take a year off of school to work to save but they did it on their own.

 

[jodifla]

Okay I will have to admit some of you have a point. I was coming at it from the perspective of college just being another thing that an overindulgent parent was paying for so there precious child wouldn't have to work and still get everything they want without putting forth any effort. I can see that some parents are raising hard working children and just wanting to help them a bit. I still don't know that I will choose to do that but I can see it. What I am seeing is children who have gotten all they ever wanted from parents who see it as their duty as parents to make sure their child has the latest clothes, electronics, etc., a new car when they turn 16, and don't want them bothered by "work" but want them to "have fun" and "enjoy their childhood". Those kids grow up to still be kids in their 20's and 30's, and why wouldn't they, being a kid was awesome and being a grown up adult is hard. I find that attitude sickening. I am rebelling against that kind of parenting. Maybe I am going too far the other way, I don't know. I just know I don't want my kids to be spoiled brats. I can see where parents who have raised children who are used to hard work and paying their own way can reasonably expect to help them through college and still have responsible hard working children.

I don't quite understand the reaction of you wanting to punish your own children because others aren't doing a good job of parenting. There will always be "those" parents -- they have nothing to do with you.


If a child isn't going to appreciate a college education, that's one thing. It makes sense not to waste your money. But if you have two children who've worked hard all through school and are eager to continue their academics, it's in everyone's best interests to help them.

As I said, in my case, my going to college was a family affair. My mother never got the chance to go to college, and my father only had a bit over one year. When they saw I was a good student, they did all they could to make sure I not only went to college, but a good school that had the programs I wanted. And I certainly appreciated their efforts. But in my father's view, it was his duty to make sure I had the chance at a good college education.