And It Has Happened AGAIN!

[luvsJack]

Another teen boy took his life this week. He would have been 16 yesterday.

I didn't know the boy. Dd didn't know him either except through social media but he was friends of some of her friends. He went to local private school. Killed himself over a girl. She broke up with him and a day or two later he shot himself. Apparently he left a letter to her.

Why does this keep happening? That is the 4th young man in this area in a year and a half to do this. Always over a girl. Always 16-18 years old. What is the deal with that age and thinking they can't live without whichever girl they are dating? The last young man shot himself during lunch at school, in the parking lot sitting in his car. The one before him drove down the road, sat in the truck and shot himself.

I just don't get how they (too many it seems like) keep getting to this place that they see nothing for themselves but death. Its just so sad.

 

[superme80]

I am so sorry. That is so hard to wrap your mind around.

 

[kimblebee]

How awful. I remember being that age and breaking up with a boyfriend or two. It sure does feel like the worst thing ever but who knows what makes one person able to cope and another not.

 

[LisaR]

That's terrible! When my daughter was 15 and broke up with her 15 y/o boyfriend of two whole months, he spiraled out of control. At first he texted her the whole, "I love you and can't live without you" and then it escalated to "If you don't get back together with me, I am going to kill myself" messages. I really didn't think he was serious, but I wasn't about to take any chances. I contacted his mother and showed her copies of the texts. Not sure what happened, but we never heard from him again but I know he's on social media so he's fine. DD's best friend went through an identical breakup. The boy was quick to tell her he would kill himself because of the breakup. Because of those two situations, we made sure to have multiple talks with our son. I know breaking up is hard to do, but there are certain ways to handle it and killing yourself or threatening to kill yourself isn't the answer.

 

[THEDISNEYTHREE]

.

 

[jevs]

Another teen boy took his life this week. He would have been 16 yesterday.

I didn't know the boy. Dd didn't know him either except through social media but he was friends of some of her friends. He went to local private school. Killed himself over a girl. She broke up with him and a day or two later he shot himself. Apparently he left a letter to her.

Why does this keep happening? That is the 4th young man in this area in a year and a half to do this. Always over a girl. Always 16-18 years old. What is the deal with that age and thinking they can't live without whichever girl they are dating? The last young man shot himself during lunch at school, in the parking lot sitting in his car. The one before him drove down the road, sat in the truck and shot himself.

I just don't get how they (too many it seems like) keep getting to this place that they see nothing for themselves but death. Its just so sad.

I had a friend who took his own life years ago, even though on the surface he had a wonderful life - great partner, fantastic job, very well liked, his early years were an absolute misery. It was never the case of "if" but "when" after a few failed attempts.

It's almost RUOK? day in Australia 'Where a conversation could change a life'. I was going to start a thread but seems apt to place here. Some info https://www.ruok.org.au/

 

[cornflkgrl]

I had a friend who took his own life years ago, even though on the surface he had a wonderful life - great partner, fantastic job, very well liked, his early years were an absolute misery. It was never the case of "if" but "when" after a few failed attempts.

It's almost RUOK? day in Australia 'Where a conversation could change a life'. I was going to start a thread but seems apt to place here. Some info https://www.ruok.org.au/

I'm very sorry about your friend.

That is very interesting about RUOK day. I've never heard of that.

To op, I think there is way more to it than just breaking up with someone. That is just the last straw sort of thing in these situations where someone was already on the edge.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I had a friend who took his own life years ago, even though on the surface he had a wonderful life - great partner, fantastic job, very well liked, his early years were an absolute misery. It was never the case of "if" but "when" after a few failed attempts.

It's almost RUOK? day in Australia 'Where a conversation could change a life'. I was going to start a thread but seems apt to place here. Some info https://www.ruok.org.au/

This is a great start, IMO.

I'm sorry, luvsjack. That is devastating for your community.

There was a story in the news last week about a young man who killed his ex-girlfriend and two other friends over a break up and the hard feelings associated with it. When he was apprehended, he said something to the effect of, "I can't believe I did this". With suicide, they don't get to say that, but we could imagine they might if they could.

Still, the theme seems the same - adolescents over-reacting to a problem that seems insurmountable now, but in the scheme of life, really isn't so big. I guess the question is, how do we get that message across to our young people?

There are some risk factors for suicide. Being male, drinking alcohol, history of depression, and access to firearms, to name a few.

From the American Academy of Pediatrics

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/105/4/871

 

[robinb]

So terrible! I think ready access to firearms makes this an easier choice for those young men.

 

[robinb]

So terrible! I think ready access to firearms makes this an easier choice for those young men.

 

[low-key]

just hang in there a little bit longer, things get better

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm so sorry for the teen's family and classmates. And for the entire community.

 

[Poohforyou]

I'm so sorry, that's just horrible.

I think teen boys in general have difficulty dealing with the emotions of something like a breakup. They also may not have a support system to really help him understand what he's feeling and support him going through it.

Generally, teen boys aren't going to cry to their friends like teen girls would. I also don't think generally a lot of parents treat their son breaking up as they would their son. I'm not saying parents aren't caring and supportive but boys just aren't going to share their feelings like a girl would so it's hard to even know how to help.

 

[katie01]

That's terribly sad. I'm so sorry to hear about that and how prevalent suicide has been in your community. Thanks for the reminder to talk with our kids about things like this, that almost everyone experiences pain and grief at the end of a relationship, but there are loved ones around them to help them cope and the pain will subside. What is it that they say? That "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"?

 

[smokeyblue]

There is a young man who died by suicide in our area a few years back. His dad is the football coach and they decided to be very open about his struggle with depression. A documentary has been made about their story and it is premiering next week. The production company will be taking it to film festivals. The community is raising funds to send the documentary to as many schools around the country as they can by paying $20 to attend the premiere. Here is the trailer if you are interested

 

[thepicklebee]

Suicide is devastating.

Being a young adult can blow, and the emotions can feel powerful. We try to teach our daughter how to handle failure and adversity throughout her life so that she can cope with that later in life.

This is especially important to us, as my stepson killed himself last year and we know first hand how horrific suicide is on everyone left behind.

 

[cornflkgrl]

What is it that they say? That "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"?

Suicide is terrible. This story is tragic. This saying that many people quote kind of reduces the serious issues that contribute to suicide and or suicidal thoughts (mental illness, etc) to nothing more than a "problem." It's a problem when I lose my keys or I'm running late. Depression isn't a temporary problem for many people. It is a lifelong struggle.

 

[cornflkgrl]

Suicide is devastating.

Being a young adult can blow, and the emotions can feel powerful. We try to teach our daughter how to handle failure and adversity throughout her life so that she can cope with that later in life.

This is especially important to us, as my stepson killed himself last year and we know first hand how horrific suicide is on everyone left behind.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Suicide is terrible. This story is tragic. This saying that many people quote kind of reduces the serious issues that contribute to suicide and or suicidal thoughts (mental illness, etc) to nothing more than a "problem." It's a problem when I lose my keys or I'm running late. Depression isn't a temporary problem for many people. It is a lifelong struggle.

But, I think the point is that there's a big difference between lifelong clinical depression and losing your (you know what) over a breakup.