I think.
Well. Well... where were we? Oh yes, the five festive happyhaunts had just been buzzed that our table was ready in 'Ohanas. For dinner. We were exceedingly hungry. And I was on my way to Margaritaville. If I were drinking Margaritas. That is. But, instead, I was drinking something which lived in a huge pineapple. So... I was on my way to SpongeBob's instead. Dreams DO come true. We sat down at our appointed table which was in the main room where the firepit is. Where the action is. That's where you want to be if you are gonna play. We were also beside the window and had a great view of the Castle. We were NOT sitting beside God. How do I know this? Because I have a strong feeling that, although everywhere around us, God does not hail from Australia and have four teenage sons who swear like the dickens. At least they had a pretty cool accent. So they sounded kinda "klassy" and "kool" sayin' the F word. A number of times. That part aside... the table was great. My whole family noticed the Castle and turned to look at me. In anticipation (Calvin) and horror (all the rest of them). They waited.
Stared.
At me.
Silently.
I was busy talking to my beloved pineapple drink. Like Golem to the One Ring... "My Precious. My Precious!"
Then I noticed them.
Calvin: Mom?
Me: Yep.
Calvin: Look! It's the Castle!!! Over there!!
Mellyman and Beth: CALVIN!
Me: Ahhhhhhhh. I see.
Calvin: Well?
Me: Well... what?
Calvin: Aren't you gonna cry? And try to hug us?
Mellyman and Beth: CALVIN!!!
Tommy: I pretty hungry. I may die.
Me: Oh, you silly mortals. I only cry when I see the Castle for the FIRST time. ON THE MONORAIL. Don't you know me at all?
Mellyman and Beth: (audible sighs of relief)
Calvin: So... you're not gonna cry? For real?
Me: I'm gonna cry if I don't get me another one of these drinks. On a empty stomach.
Tommy: I may die. I may die.
Thankfully our waiter came over and took our next round of drink orders. Whoooo Hoooo. I had a empty stomach, potential digestion issues and a massive lack of sleep under my belt. The time was right.
To LIMBO.
My friends.
And, let me tell you, limbo(ing) runs in my family. My Dad could both limbo and do the Russian Bear Dance. His brother too. And they passed it down to me and my four female cousins over our countless get togethers which always turned in to a circus after we moved the furniture and grabbed ourselves a broom.
So, anyway, we limbo(ed). Except for Mellyman. He does not like to see how low he can go. In public. And, in the last installment, I promised you all a picture of Me(l) in fine limbo form. However, on closer inspection of the photo I realized I can almost see London and France in it too. Yes. My underpants. Because I was wearing this:
To limbo. Bad choice. We'll pass on the picture. However, I WILL frame it for The General. For Christmas. 8 by 10.
The kids also limbo(ed). A lot. A lot of kids limbo(ed) a lot. The fellow who was our Master of Ceremonies asked a young newlywed couple to hold the broom for the ordeal. They seemed to be having a lot of fun. But I noticed they were taking it easy on some of the kids and raising it up if they thought they couldn't make it.
See:
I'm pretty sure that kid coulda gone lower. But what do I know?
We finished and went back to our table to start with the appetizers. We had crispy wontons with three different dips. The best is the peanut one. And the green one. The green one is good. I think it's made with a buttload of cilantro. But what do I know? We had a yummy salad with a sweet honey lime dressing which was very good and also some sticky chicken wings and sweet and sour shrimp. Tommy LOVES the chicken wings and ate most of them along with Mellyman. I didn't try them this time. I was busy eating shrimp with Beth. Calvin was finishing the salad which is HIS favourite part of the appetizers at 'Ohana. I love eating here on our first night. Because it's fun and our experience with the food has been pretty positive. But, mainly, it's because when I was young my parents and I came here to eat. Before it was an all-you-care-to-eat. It had a different name which I can't recall and we would get dressed up and it would be a big deal. For us. I would have a Shirley Temple and my parents would fight. Because I'd always want to order something "exotic". Like SHRIMP. Fergoshsake's. And The General would worry that I'd be sick. From the "exotic" shrimp. While my Dad would encourage me to eat WHATEVER I wanted. Same thing. Every time. When we went out. To this day The General does not eat the "exotic" shrimp. Or maybe it's just her religious beliefs. Heh heh. What do I know? Anywho... it brings back fond memories for me. So I love it.
Then the Master of Ceremonies announced that it was time for Coconut Races! Whooooo Hooooo. I bolted out of my chair with the camera and headed down to the end of the room where I could catch the kids rounding the first corner in the race. The MC started to explain the rules and doing so... pointed at me and said, "And take a sharp left by our Paparazzi down there!" And he waved at me. I waved back.
And a bunch of people cheered. Yep. Cheered. It was a little odd but I figured, like myself, they were ALSO in a pineapple. Under the sea.
The race began. With Calvin and another boy in the lead. Calvin ALWAYS wins. He HAS to. He is a bloodsport, to-the-death kind of kid. Like his Mama. We believe that the saying "It's not whether you win or lose... it's how you play the game" is a load of crap. CRAP! It's all about the victory. We are the thrifty, competitive, coconut-racing happyhaunts. This is the beginning of the race:
Calvin managed to slip by that boy in orange on the second corner and win.
This is the end of the race:
That is Tommy. He was dead last.
Well... it's not whether you win or lose. It's how you play the game. After all.
We were very proud. Of both our little men.
Beth was somewhere in the middle of the pack.
So. I figure. We happyhaunts basically DOMINATED.
We wandered back to our table to the rest of our meal. Because of my stomach issues I just had a little of the steak, the delicious potatoes and one sugar snap pea. Yep. Just one. It was good though. The potatoes are SO good. Cheesy and greasy and rich and creamy. But hardly fitting the theme. Of the place. Who cares? Though. The steak was medium rare and very good. Everyone else liked the pork loin and the turkey. No one liked the sausage. Mellyman felt it was too juicy... in a gross way... and flavourless. Then it was time for my favourite part of the meal. The DESSERT. And, let me say this loudly: I AM NOT A SWEET PERSON. I rarely, if ever, eat dessert or candy or chocolate. Just not my thing. However, last trip I tried their bread pudding with ice cream and Bananas Foster Sauce and I was HOOKED. It is to die for. I dove in. Along with the kids and Mellyman. The kids didn't care for it and asked for individual bowls of vanilla ice cream instead. Good! More for me. I mananged to plow through most of it. Oinking the whole way. Through.
It was fantastic.
Worth the $150 dollars for the meal. Alone.
But add it to the fun and entertainment of 'Ohanas and I figure you got yerself a keeper. I love it.
This dinner gets a FIVE THUMBS UP on the PeptoB Scale. I had cramps later and needed two shots of the pink juice to calm my stomach. But was not in full fetal and I'm really not counting it as bad. Because I love the freakin' Poly. And 'Ohana. So there.
We paid and headed home. Back to the BWV. Where we wandered around The Boardwalk for a little bit before hitting the sack. Tommy did this:
YIKES!
Marilyn Manson wishes he was that scary.
To be continued. Up next: Day Three. And stuff.
