Am I being selfish??

[turkeymama]

I am a special education teacher (elementary). I don't think it is selfish to hope everyone can go together and I understand timing is a delicate issue since so many people are involved. Heck, i have pulled DD out 3 times (1 week each time) for Disney trips.

However, as others have mentioned, it tends to get more difficult for the kids missing school the older they get. Also, DS has learning disability and he misses time with therapists and special Ed teacher in addition to regular classes. If this applies to your grandchildren, or if they are above grade school age, I would not pull them. That is my opinion as a mommy, not a teacher. Okay, I guess that is my teacher opinion too.

Good luck. I hope y'all can make something work.

 

[spiceycat]

summer if you plan it - is not so bad. first go early - then leave when it gets to hot or humdity or you are just tired. then go back early evening when it is cooler.

let everyone go when and where they wish (this is hard for some people). meet at least once a day for a meal. but otherwise don't expect everyone to do what you want.

also would go for one the DVC resorts closer to a park. pick the park your family loves the most - and get a DVC resort within walking distance of it.

now thankgiving week would be great - but in this state the legislative is now telling the schools how to schedule their year - so would expect Nov thanksgving to be only thurs and fri...

 

[wrighter]

Something to consider, based on their age, is what the children think about the whole thing. (OKay, they can't MAKE the decision, but they can at least speak their peace.)

We took our kids out for a week last October to meet family from around the country at WDW. The kids were in 1st and 3rd grade - and the week they missed was a full week of half-days (due to school conferences.) We'd been assured by other parents and even teachers that they really wouldn't miss much.

We had a wonderful trip, and I wouldn't change the fact that we went. But upon our return, both kids stated that they really wouldn't like to miss school again for vacation. They just didn't like feeling like they'd missed stuff - and even though we got as much done as we could before and during the trip, they were indeed "behind" once they got back.

In the future I might consider pulling them for a day, but otherwise all future trips will be during the dreaded Easter, Christmas, and Summer breaks. I'm sure we'll still find a way to have a great time.

 

[smjj]

I failed to mention the kids ages and school grades. One will be in 1st and the other 4th grade when we go....smjj

 

[turkeymama]

I failed to mention the kids ages and school grades. One will be in 1st and the other 4th grade when we go....smjj

In Louisiana, 4th grade is a high-stakes testing grade. If this applies in your grandchild's case, that would be one more thing to consider.

 

[daisyduck123]

I have pulled mine out of school (elem - high school) many times for WDW vacations, & those trips were for 10-day vacations.

The kids will remember a family trip FAR longer than they will remember whatever was taught in school that day. I also believe that NO ONE is going to NOT get into the college of their choice because of a family vacation they took in elementary school.

Oldest DD is a 17yo sophomore in college...missing all that school didn't hurt her one bit.

I say, "Go for it & have a great trip!! The lower crowds will make the trip so much better for all ages in your family.

BTW, I'm a public school teacher & I pull myself out as well!!

 

[jennypenny]

We used to pull our kids out, but not anymore. The schools are much more strict about it now, and they go so fast these days that the kids do miss a lot. My kids asked to stop missing school because it was stressful. (I don't want to say the teachers gave the kids a hard time, but they weren't as eager to help them catch up if the absense wasn't due to illness).

Plus, if you pull them early in the year, you have to hope that they don't get sick a lot and end up missing too many days. I'd be more willing to pull them towards the end of the year if I had to, but like I said we stick to summers now.

 

[turkeymama]

I have pulled mine out of school (elem - high school) many times for WDW vacations, & those trips were for 10-day vacations.

The kids will remember a family trip FAR longer than they will remember whatever was taught in school that day. I also believe that NO ONE is going to NOT get into the college of their choice because of a family vacation they took in elementary school.

Oldest DD is a 17yo sophomore in college...missing all that school didn't hurt her one bit.

I say, "Go for it & have a great trip!! The lower crowds will make the trip so much better for all ages in your family.

BTW, I'm a public school teacher & I pull myself out as well!!

I agree with you for the most part. Unfortunately, our district has adopted such a strict policy on absences it is very difficult to pull this off. If OP's grandchildren are facing similar conditions, it may not be so easy. I find that very sad because we had the best times on those trips when I did pull DD out. If the kids miss 5 days, the parish truancy officer sends warning letters. Anything after that can result in court appearances.

 

[k3chantal]

As a public school teacher turned stay at home mom who sends her children to private schools, this thread reminds me why I like the private system. I get to determine if my children should miss school without a government agency determining that I have made the wrong choice. And yes, I understand that there are terrible parents out there who have made bad decisions therefore making school districts have to create attendance policies like these. I just think it is unfortunate that we all have to suffer under it unilaterally.

Grandparents become too old to go on these vacations as time goes by and it is really a shame that as a country we are not finding 'value' in our family relationships.

Now the disclaimer in my reply is that if your child struggles in school or it takes a lot of effort to stay on grade level, but all means they should not be taken out. But if they are like my children who are above grade level in all subjects then the 'education' they receive on vacation can be just as important.

 

[vicki_c]

After 3rd grade, we couldn't take our older dd out of school anymore for vacations. So for the last 6 years, we've sucked it up and gone in June, as soon as they get out.

I don't really think it's a matter of "selfish". Really the parents just have to decide if the kids can afford to miss school and still get good grades. Ours can't so the issue is settled for us.

This is how we feel now, even though we had always pulled the kids put in the past and I had no issues with it. We last pulled them out for a week to see the space shuttle launch (sad, didn't go) and the schools considered that as excused but we had to get permission from the principal. My kids were in 4th and 6th then. But my DS almost didn't make it out of 7th grade last year, so we just cannot pull them out anymore. And it is a hassle with the school, even when it's allowed. Made me feel guilty.

So we've done Easter break the last 2 years since we won't go in the summer (I lived in FL, so I know all about summer). It's crowded and definitely not as enjoyable for us compared to January or Feb trips.

As was stated, it's really up to the parents and the grandparents should accept that and work around their decision.

 

[DMKEDM]

For years I pulled my DS out of school w/out a second thought...he was a very good student, w/a strong work ethic, who excelled throughout his school career. (I wish I could credit my sterling parenting skills for that, but in truth, he was just "made that way"--he's just a motivated kid.) But, by early high school, he no longer wanted to go on trips where he'd miss school--and that was pre-DVC when Disney trips were infrequent (we didn't buy DVC til he was in college)...that stayed the case from sophomore year of high school up through college and law school...

Now, in first & fourth grades, I doubt any kid (including mine) would choose school over a trip to Disney...but I remember the one and only time I felt "guilty" about scheduling a trip during school time I asked my DS' third grade teacher--who told me GO...and his "assignment" for the missed week was to report on the trip to the class when he returned (we got some WDW candy to bring back to share w/the class...it was a huge hit)...

I think I'd "do battle" w/a school district that prevented me from deciding when/if my child were to miss school...the mere thought of that kind of a policy has me seeing red (and generally I'm pretty liberal w/my politics--but that kind of policy brings out my "inner libertarian" for sure!)

But as pretty much everyone has said, every child/family/school situation is different so ultimately it's up to the child's parents to decide...

Good luck!

 

[momx2]

Unfortunately, you don't just do battle with the school district. In my state it is state law that if you miss 6 unexcused days and vacation isn't an excuse, you can be charged with Educational Neglect and brought to court. It is that ridiculous!!

 

[DVC Jen]

In Louisiana, 4th grade is a high-stakes testing grade. If this applies in your grandchild's case, that would be one more thing to consider.

That is exactly the way it is here in Texas too. Unfortunately things are tougher now than they were when even my girls were that age. When my oldest (she is almost 24) started kindergarten it was not unusual for kids to have never been to preschool.. not be able to write their names, recognize most of the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes... now if they can't do those things they are very behind.

Things my kids learned in 3 and 4th - 5th grade were things I was learning in Jr. High. There is a lot more pressure on kids now. Personally if your children do not feel comfortable pulling their child (your grandchild) out of school - I would respect and understand that they probably really do have a good valid reason above and beyond what the school district says.

I was shocked when my own daughter (the 24 yr old) missed 10 days of kindergarten because in one months time her grandfather in PA died so we had to travel there from Texas - and within a week of returning home she ended up needing surgery. About 2 weeks later we got a letter in the mail informing us that regardless of why she missed - if she missed one more day we would be summoned to court. Insane! Unfortunately that is also reality.

 

[turkeymama]

That is exactly the way it is here in Texas too. Unfortunately things are tougher now than they were when even my girls were that age. When my oldest (she is almost 24) started kindergarten it was not unusual for kids to have never been to preschool.. not be able to write their names, recognize most of the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes... now if they can't do those things they are very behind.

Things my kids learned in 3 and 4th - 5th grade were things I was learning in Jr. High. There is a lot more pressure on kids now. Personally if your children do not feel comfortable pulling their child (your grandchild) out of school - I would respect and understand that they probably really do have a good valid reason above and beyond what the school district says.

I was shocked when my own daughter (the 24 yr old) missed 10 days of kindergarten because in one months time her grandfather in PA died so we had to travel there from Texas - and within a week of returning home she ended up needing surgery. About 2 weeks later we got a letter in the mail informing us that regardless of why she missed - if she missed one more day we would be summoned to court. Insane! Unfortunately that is also reality.

We had an unanticipated illness after a trip one year. DD missed a few days of school for the trip and she got very ill on the last day. She ended up missing 7 consecutive days (4 of which were excused). We still got "the letter". Madness! And every time she missed after that for the rest of the year, we got "the letter".

 

[bz8bls]

I am an attendance coordinator for our school district and work very closely with the the prosecutor's office. As a pp stated, it is a law...and in Michigan, 10 unexcused absences will get you in front of the assistant prosecutor. Vacations are considered unexcused.

 

[Brian Noble]

As a public school teacher turned stay at home mom who sends her children to private schools, this thread reminds me why I like the private system. I get to determine if my children should miss school without a government agency determining that I have made the wrong choice.

Well, sure. If you want someone else to pay for your kids' education, that "someone else" is going to have a say in how it is done. If you don't like those rules, you can pay to have them educated yourself---either in money (private schools) or time (home school). That seems more than fair to me.

it is really a shame that as a country we are not finding 'value' in our family relationships.

But, as Crisi pointed out, for many families, it is not a choice between "miss school" and "don't form family relationships." It is a choice between "miss school and go at a less crowded/hot/expensive time", and "don't miss school and go during a more crowded/hot/expensive time."

I suppose it is even possible to "form family relationships" without actually going on a vacation to WDW, but I haven't personally tried it yet.

 

[staceymay00]

The parents need to talk to administration at the specific school(s) to find out if missing a few unexcused days will be a problem. Family trips are unexcused in my district, however our school notes them as unexcused with a note. This means that even though the child is not in school, the school is aware of why he/she is absent. I think our district allows up to five unexcused absences before they can call family services, however I was told this was at the schools' discretion. It is not uncommon for kids in our elemntary school to miss up to a week for a family trip - technically unexcused - without fear of being prosecuted or locked up for it, assuming the child has no other unexcused absences.

We aren't big on pulling our kids out of school, but have done it a couple of times - once it was just a day, once for three days. Now that I have a middle schooler I would not pull him out at all for a vacation...well, maybe one day...because his classes/work load are pretty rigorous. It wasn't a problem in elementary, though technically the absences were unexcused.

Hope it all works out for your family to have a fun vacation together! One thing I love about our school district is that we are off the full week of Thanksgiving.

 

[crisi]

Well, sure. If you want someone else to pay for your kids' education, that "someone else" is going to have a say in how it is done. If you don't like those rules, you can pay to have them educated yourself---either in money (private schools) or time (home school). That seems more than fair to me.

Plus, if we are going to hold teachers and schools responsible for outcomes, we have to give them SOME authority to get to those outcomes. They can't be expected to teach kids who aren't in class.

And while we know that being absent is not as big a deal for some kids as for others, the school is supposed to treat all kids the same.

 

[k3chantal]

Plus, if we are going to hold teachers and schools responsible for outcomes, we have to give them SOME authority to get to those outcomes. They can't be expected to teach kids who aren't in class.

And while we know that being absent is not as big a deal for some kids as for others, the school is supposed to treat all kids the same.

Ironically enough, the more we try to treat all kids the same the more 'unfair' it is. If my high achieving kids are out of the classroom for a few days that actually gives the teacher more time to concentrate on the average to low kids.

One of the reasons my kids are in private schools is that ALL children in our public school district have to receive English language instruction 'to be fair'. I remember standing in front of the "proficient" English speaking students holding up a picture of a shirt and saying "This is a shirt". I remember thinking, as I was doing this, that my 18 month old knew this information and what a waste of time and boredom he would be feeling when he was in first grade. So, yes, very important that we teach second language learners English so they have the ability to have an 'equal' start but actually extremely unfair that instructional time is used to cover information already known to the English speakers. And yes, they were already divided by their ability into each classroom (and I had the English speakers) but I was instructed that I had to cover the same topics.

A couple of years earlier I had worked in a very wealthy school district and they had specialized teachers who came in to teach art, science, etc.....pretty much in the same time period that in the other school district was teaching 'shirt'.

That same year in the 'poorer' school district, I was told not to teach art in the classroom either.........

And yes, I know that not all school districts are so dismal but these specific experiences make me feel very passionate about my 'right' to take my kids out of school for a few days and I am forever thankful I can afford to send them to a school that won't chase after me.....Guess what? They are still testing in the standardized tests at 99%.

 

[Starr W.]

My kids have missed at the most 2 days for vacations, usually 1 on our WDW trips. Neither kid would like to miss more than that, as they like school. Now our district is pretty lenient with missing a day or so around the holidays, but now I have one in HS, he's concerned with his attendance. This is due to the attendance waive for a final, you can miss 2 days and still get it.

Personally I have never considered pulling the kids out of school for a full week for any sort of trip. We do the full weeks at holidays or wait until summer.

I know a lot of people who attend our local country day school and missing school for vacations is a big no-no. You get the full 2 weeks at Xmas/NYE and 2 weeks for spring break(mid March) and you are expected to go then.