Am I being selfish??

[smjj]

OK here it is. We are trying to get a complete family vacation together for Disney next year at Thanksgiving. We had one 2 years ago in Oct. and all 10 of us went(6 adults and 4 grandkids). The grandkids school schedule was workable then, that was then. The school system here has changed their policy and now considers almost all absents as un-excused and thretens to not let them make up any work missed for the 2 or maybe 3 days they may miss. Now I understand why they do this but in todays times I think when you can get a whole family together for something like this it is also important and may be our last chance at it. This takes so much planning to sync all schedules for the 3 familes and needs to be planned out at least 11 months(11 month for OKW home resort stay).
We targeted this date due to work schedules and the such. We decided againist summer when it is sooo hot and crowded. We did that with our kids when they were small and it was not a lot of fun. I just think it is a small price to pay to have them miss just 2 or maybe 3 days of school. Our families are so important to us and this bonding time to us is so important and I think in years to come will have a big payback. I talked to a teacher/ neighbor of ours and she said this should not be a big deal and they would not miss anything important but the school policy is the school policy. What do others think about this???...smjj

Update: I failed to mention that when we go one will be a first grader and the other will be in the 4th grade. Yes, we are the grandparents and have been taking our kids and now the grand kids to Disney for many years now. Family time(vacations) are just so important to us...smjj

 

[hakepb]

We've gone from taking vacations during the school year to now avoiding school. Our school is very accommodating with families taking vacation, but it became too much extra homework to manage during vacation.

I know it makes no sense compared to my childhood, but I would listen to the families.

 

[juncker]

You'll find people on both sides of this argument. Many will agree with you that this type of family time is important and is a learning experience worth missing school. Others will point out that you shouldn't do this. It really is up to you though (or actually the parents of the kids, not the grandparents).

In my opinion, it really depends upon a number of things. Probably the most important one to me would be the ages of the kids. It's probably less important for someone in 1st grade vs. someone in high school. (My daughter never fully recovered from a week off of Chemistry when in Europe back in 11th grade.) It also matters on the kids and how well they are doing in school. If they excel in their courses, they will probably do better with missing a couple of days while if they are already struggling, it could come back to bite them. Lastly, I think it depends on the school/teachers. You may find some educators that support and encourage this type of thing and could assign some educational assignment as part of the trip, while other teachers may intentionally create roadblocks. All of this stuff matters to me making this decision.

If you do decide that pulling the kids out of school is the right decision, I would make sure that I communicate what is happening with the teachers but I would not expect (or even ask) them to get a packet together with the homework that they miss. If they do, that would be great, but they don't need to work around everyone else's schedule.

If it were my family and a balancing act between my work and the kids school schedules, I'd leave them in school and tell my boss that I need a different vacation. I understand that other people's jobs may not be as flexible though.

 

[mchllevns]

We pulled our kids out when they were in grade school, but high school is just too difficult...even 1 day of missed class time can lead to a huge amount of makeup work. I too thought summer was too hot, but we have gone in mid to late June the past two years, and the weather at WDW was actually cooler than it was back home in NJ...also, the crowds were not that bad until you got to the later days in June/early July. It's worth considering!

 

[Deb & Bill]

My son suffered when he missed school for any reason, even being sick. So we avoided all trips when he missed any days of school. We did one when he was in middle school (he missed three days) and he had problems catching up. Now he's in college and we can go without him or he can join us when he can. So we'll be there 10 days and he'll join us for his break of about five days.

And, if the school sends the law after you for child abuse for not keeping the kid in school, I'd keep the kid in school and reschedule the family trip when they could be out of school.

Consider this: You plan the vacation and someone's boss says they can't miss work. Do you still go? Not much different.

So it should be up to the parents of the children who would miss school, not the loving grandparents who want the family vacation.

 

[karrit2000]

You don't mention the ages of the grand kids but as previously mentioned this is a factor where schooling is concerned. Also I'm assuming you are the grandparent in this scenario. I think that it is ultimately the kids parents decision to make regarding whether or not to break the rules of the school their children are attending to take a trip that would make them be penalized for missing classes and grand parents should butt out of that decision. If you want a family trip you buck up and go when it works for everyone. If the dates aren't acceptable to everyone for whatever reason then forget about the family bonding trip or those who can go do and the others miss out.

 

[Tpiejg]

listen to your heart. 3 days of school is not more important then family. i have 4 children and have always taken them out of school to go to disney. When we got back it took them less than a day to make up a weeks worth of school assignments. The time together taught them so much more about whats important in life then sitting in a classroom with misbehaving kids and coloring worksheets! In my opinion schools have stepped way over the line. since when can school administrations tell you what you can and can't do with your own kids. they work for you. you make the rules about what they are suppose to do for your children not the other way around.

 

[HayGan]

Does your district not have an educational trip policy? We have to get permission for our kids to have an "educational trip" and those days are not counted as unexcused.

Each child and family is different when it comes to taking kids out of school for a period of time. For us, it works now but for others it doesn't. We had a trip planned for next Thanksgiving as well but fell apart because my sister didn't want to take her kids out of school. Her kids likely wouldn't do as well as mine with missing those days so we decided it was best to cancel the trip (she wanted August and I said heck no!)

You know your kids best and it is up to you to decide if they will be able to handle the missed days.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

How old are your kids?

What are thier grades like in school?

These type of questions make a big difference.

I have a friend who teaches high school and they have the same policy as OPs school. She routinely has kids who have a big problem and grade drop after missing 2 or 3 days of unexcused for "ski vacations" etc. Now she teaches science and some of her classes are AP, but they move quick and in 3 days you can miss something BIG that's building on other things.

But I agree that it's really the parents decision (Assuming this isn't a custodial grandparent) and you should respect thier decision and not try to make them feel guilty about it.

As kids get older summer or breaks really become the only option... something we have been dealing with for a few years now.. every since the kids started high school the school (and sports) schedule dictate everything But.. they are getting into great colleges so....

If they are in kindergarden, you can probably cover what they missed. BUt with older kids it's harder for most of us to "make up" things we never learned with our kids LOL!

 

[Brian Noble]

What do others think about this?

The school policy is the school policy. You can't really change it. Each set of parents will have to decide whether it is worth the "cost" of not being able to make up work in exchange for this vacation.

But I agree that it's really the parents decision (Assuming this isn't a custodial grandparent) and you should respect thier decision and not try to make them feel guilty about it.

Agreed. If (and only if) each set of parents is okay with missing the time, go for Thanksgiving. But, if one set isn't willing to do it, you'll have to decide whether or not a partial group is worth taking, or you'd rather go in the summer.

We decided againist summer when it is sooo hot and crowded. We did that with our kids when they were small and it was not a lot of fun.

Our last two Orlando family vacations were both in the summer, because that's the only time everyone's schedules line up. True, we could have pulled our kids out of school instead---and our school district is more lenient---but we decided not to. We figure that having kids means that we sometimes have to make sacrifices elsewhere, and this is just one of those times. And, to be honest, it wasn't that bad. More water park time, afternoon breaks, we had a ball.

 

[keishashadow]

Does your district not have an educational trip policy? We have to get permission for our kids to have an "educational trip" and those days are not counted as unexcused.

Each child and family is different when it comes to taking kids out of school for a period of time. For us, it works now but for others it doesn't. We had a trip planned for next Thanksgiving as well but fell apart because my sister didn't want to take her kids out of school. Her kids likely wouldn't do as well as mine with missing those days so we decided it was best to cancel the trip (she wanted August and I said heck no!)

You know your kids best and it is up to you to decide if they will be able to handle the missed days.

Most schools in our area have a written policy you can request. I'd assume it's same elsewhere, otherwise how could they penalize a student?

Our district requires a formal application be submitted to the principal. Nature of the trip, educational value, dates away, with whom, etc. needs to be stated. Grades are checked, if at least a "C" average the principal gives a tentative approval. The student is then responsible for approaching each of their teachers and have them sign off on the form, indicating what work needs to be completed (pre, during or post-trip). My kids have often had to keep checking back up to the day prior for assignments. Most teachers have been very accommodating to my family, even up thru 12th grade. My kids did have a lot of work to complete, sometimes hours a day even while on the trip.

In my district many dates are excluded from the non-excused category, including standardized testing dates & 1st and last 6 weeks of school.

 

[Sammie]

Brian stated perfectly what I would have said.

 

[kirstenb1]

After 3rd grade, we couldn't take our older dd out of school anymore for vacations. So for the last 6 years, we've sucked it up and gone in June, as soon as they get out.

I don't really think it's a matter of "selfish". Really the parents just have to decide if the kids can afford to miss school and still get good grades. Ours can't so the issue is settled for us.

 

[dzorn]

OK here it is. We are trying to get a complete family vacation together for Disney next year at Thanksgiving. We had one 2 years ago in Oct. and all 10 of us went(6 adults and 4 grandkids). The grandkids school schedule was workable then, that was then. The school system here has changed their policy and now considers almost all absents as un-excused and thretens to not let them make up any work missed for the 2 or maybe 3 days they may miss. Now I understand why they do this but in todays times I think when you can get a whole family together for something like this it is also important and may be our last chance at it. This takes so much planning to sync all schedules for the 3 familes and needs to be planned out at least 11 months(11 month for OKW home resort stay).
We targeted this date due to work schedules and the such. We decided againist summer when it is sooo hot and crowded. We did that with our kids when they were small and it was not a lot of fun. I just think it is a small price to pay to have them miss just 2 or maybe 3 days of school. Our families are so important to us and this bonding time to us is so important and I think in years to come will have a big payback. I talked to a teacher/ neighbor of ours and she said this should not be a big deal and they would not miss anything important but the school policy is the school policy. What do others think about this???...smjj

I think a big factor is the age of the kids. Missing 3 days in a middle/high school is much harder to make up.

Denise in MI

 

[kylmac]

We took 3 extra days around a 2 day holiday last fall (total 5 days) and our middle school daughter had a hard time making up the work even though I gave all of her teachers a few weeks notice for homework and quizzes. I will not take her out again-we will have to stick with right as school gets out. Mid June is not that bad weather wise and you do get both water parks. I am a teacher (assistant) and I felt guilty about having a substitute for 3 days.
Good luck with your decision.
Elizabeth

 

[crisi]

We go in summer now. Really, it started to HURT missing a mere three days after about third grade. I have bright kids, but it was hard for them to keep up even with those small absences.

But I also think its important to be honest. Family time is important. School is important. But you are not saying that family is more important than school when you choose not to go in summer due to heat and crowds. You are saying that avoiding heat and crowds is more important than school - and that may be true, but don't wrap it up under "but family is so important." There are some families - for example, when someone is deployed overseas - when pulling kids from school is the ONLY opportunity for a family vacation. That isn't your case.

 

[kristenrice]

My dad started planning an extended-family vacation for the kids/grandkids several years ago. He really enjoys the weather in February-April so that was his initial plan. When the time finally rolled around to make a final decision on the dates, we decided to go the second week of June, right after school let out. Most of our group had never been to WDW before so we did not want to deal with the big crowds around Easter. Nobody wanted to take their kids out of school (ages 3-10...6 of them!) so we decided on June.

Initially, my parents were really worried about the weather in June. We ended up with the best weather EVER! We had rain one day (and that was the day we left...the day Debby came in!) but other than that, it was high 80's, low humidity and a gentle breeze every day. The crowds were low (IMO) and we never waited more than 30 minutes for anything...and that was Kilimanjaro Safaris at 3pm without a FP. After the trip, everyone commented on what a great time of year that was to travel. It was easy to pack because we knew we wouldn't need anything long-sleeved. We didn't have to worry about a blizzard stranding us somewhere.

My dad had always said he will never go to WDW in the summer...well, guess what? Now he is planning another family trip in 3-4 years and June is his first choice! I guess my point is that you shouldn't write off all summer travel completely.

 

[delaneyc52]

The school policy is the school policy. You can't really change it. Each set of parents will have to decide whether it is worth the "cost" of not being able to make up work in exchange for this vacation.


Agreed. If (and only if) each set of parents is okay with missing the time, go for Thanksgiving. But, if one set isn't willing to do it, you'll have to decide whether or not a partial group is worth taking, or you'd rather go in the summer.


Our last two Orlando family vacations were both in the summer, because that's the only time everyone's schedules line up. True, we could have pulled our kids out of school instead---and our school district is more lenient---but we decided not to. We figure that having kids means that we sometimes have to make sacrifices elsewhere, and this is just one of those times. And, to be honest, it wasn't that bad. More water park time, afternoon breaks, we had a ball.

Agree. Well put Brian. While I do feel for the OP's wonderful intent to gather the family, I know our school had extreme rules re missing time in school. We did as Brian and while summer could have it's issues, it was the best time ever!! Everyone was in summer mind mode without the school anxiety hanging over them.

 

[SLM]

November is a wonderful time to visit WDW. But after 3rd grade we decided not to go during the school year. My daughter was never in classes where the work could be made up in a day. She was also involved in music, drama, yearbook, etc. If she'd missed a week of school to go to WDW or anywhere else I doubt she would've been yearbook editor or first chair in orchestra-and these things were important to her. If your grandchildren are little that's a different scenario-but the parents get to decide. We usually went in late August. It was hot, but when you go often, heading back to the villas for lunch and going out later is doable. Being together is the main thing, isn't it?

 

[yeahdisney]

We will go around the holiday, we will miss one day of school. We are taking them out at 2:10 missing their last class, study hall. They will miss One day when they come back. This year 8th grade - missing is hard for the student, dd had all A's last quarter, I'm hoping one day will be OK.