WWY Have Done. . .

[NFLDERS]

If they didn't need a head count, how did they know how much to charge you?

They have an attendant at the door counting the number.

 

[DizBelle]

Cash bar here means I'm going to have one or two glasses of wine and I've done that plenty of times in front of kids, so not an issue. It also means one or two people are going to get drunk and make a fool of themselves in front of the kids, if that happens id just smile, roll my eyes, and make a comment about there goes uncle barry. But if you're comfortable turning away families where the kids have gotten all dressed up and told their going to a party, knock yourself out. But, yeah, I'm going to think that you're being hurtful to people. Of course I'm not going to say anything to you, and if I'm one of the ones who accidentally showed up with kids and was turned away - I'm going to apologize profusely, but inside I'm going to be terribly embarrassed and hurt. If its more important to you that someone who misunderstood is embarrassed and hurt so that you can have a drink without children present, I'm going to wonder about your priorities.

People bring other people to a party to which they were not invited are being hurtful to the host and the other guests who followed the invitation. If you are embarassed, you embarassed yourself. I would also wonder about your priorities when you impose on someone else like that.

This was NOT the hosts fault at all.

 

[NFLDERS]

Wait, so this happened almost 10 years ago?

Trying to keep others from making my mistake, and get advice.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I guess I'll try one more time.

What was the fallout from this?

 

[NFLDERS]

I guess I'll try one more time.

What was the fallout from this?

I replied on a past pg. If I've got time I'll look back.

 

[NFLDERS]

I guess I'll try one more time.

What was the fallout from this?

Page 4.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Page 4.

I saw that, and responded to it. It still doesn't answer my question X2 of how your husband felt about it. It was also before you said this was 10 years ago! But if that's all you want to say, I'll respect it.

 

[nugov2]

I did just notice that the party was 7-2am. That is not a party I would have brought my kids at their age, but I still feel strongly you should state that on an invitation. In my family typically parties are for everyone, but when we had my moms 50th we specified adults only. I know things are different everywhere, but I also wouldn't host a party as cash bar. I find that to make the party even more informal and around here when a party is at a hall or home all food and drink is provided for the guests, but in my years on message boards have learned this is regional.

 

[NFLDERS]

I saw that, and responded to it. It still doesn't answer my question X2 of how your husband felt about it. It was also before you said this was 10 years ago! But if that's all you want to say, I'll respect it.

Sorry, missed answering that. DH didn't know that children were or were not invited. It was a surprise 50th. Party. While I had different reactions, it was more discussed, and resolved, than say loud and/fighting. Then not talked about again. I doubt DH was even told.

 

[lillygator]

so what was the reason the kids who showed up could not stay?

 

[minnie mum]

My thoughts are that one should not have to look for clues or to have to try to interpret an invitation. Everything should be spelled out explicitly so as to avoid confusion or misinterpretation. If the OP did not want children at the function then this should have been stated on the invitation.

Since this wasn't done, more than one family apparently showed up with their children. If it had been me, I would have simply welcomed them graciously, but mentioned that the function had been intended as adults only, and no special provision had been made for the children. By doing so I would have given the parents the option of either staying, leaving, or making other arrangements for the children during the evening. In our family, simply turning them away would have resulted in a very awkward, and possibly long-term rift.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I would've been embarrassed to turn away people. I could never do it.

I think the invitation was addressed properly, but I probably would've included something like "adults only" somplace on the invitation.

I bet the guests who had to leave were extremely upset (even if they didn't show it).

It's not like it was some wild swingers party going on. I would've accepted the few children that showed up.

 

[okeydokey]

Trying to keep others from making my mistake, and get advice.

If you already know that ten years ago you made a mistake, what kind of advise are you looking for?

You said you arranged for the space. How much space? The restaurant didn't care if 8 or 80 people showed up?

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Maybe she's planning a surprise 60th birthday party.

 

[turkeymama]

You obviously are not from around these parts! Very VERY typical for cash bar parties (hell, any bar, really) to have kids in it.


Ditto! We have alcohol at any party we have - kid birthdays, baptisms, weddings, Tuesdays...

I think you just identified the cause of my misunderstanding. I am from the deep south, Bible belt.
Alcohol at a baptism? We didn't even have alcohol or dancing at my wedding. Yikes!

*Please know that I'm not being judgmental in any way, I'm poking fun at how different we can all be even in the same country. Personally, I think that's cool.*

 

[turkeymama]

Maybe she's planning a surprise 60th birthday party.

Oh, and yes, I agree. I kind of figured this is why OP was posting the question. I'm guessing she is gearing up for another party and wants to avoid the situation this time.

 

[sam_gordon]

I did just notice that the party was 7-2am. That is not a party I would have brought my kids at their age, but I still feel strongly you should state that on an invitation. In my family typically parties are for everyone, but when we had my moms 50th we specified adults only. I know things are different everywhere, but I also wouldn't host a party as cash bar. I find that to make the party even more informal and around here when a party is at a hall or home all food and drink is provided for the guests, but in my years on message boards have learned this is regional.

I don't understand people saying kids wouldn't have gone because of the hours. Nothing says you have to say until the end. I can see going to the party from 7-10 (or even 9) if you have kids.

 

[moon]

People bring other people to a party to which they were not invited are being hurtful to the host and the other guests who followed the invitation. If you are embarassed, you embarassed yourself. I would also wonder about your priorities when you impose on someone else like that.

This was NOT the hosts fault at all.

But the OP said that it is the norm for her family to include kids. So it was on her to be specific that this party would be different from the others

 

[NFLDERS]

If you already know that ten years ago you made a mistake, what kind of advise are you looking for?

You said you arranged for the space. How much space? The restaurant didn't care if 8 or 80 people showed up?

In the beginning of my thread. I explained that because I'd addressed the invitations to Mr. & Mrs. only that I thought that sufficed. With the advice here today, I've the understanding this is not sufficient. Now in planning the 60th surprise party, I will be clearer.

The Hall has a Max. of 200 people. Our celebration just over, Half the Max.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

But the OP said that it is the norm for her family to include kids. So it was on her to be specific that this party would be different from the others

Yep.