Would you date a relative?

[maymom96]

I don't think the OP is talking about going to the family reunion looking for love.
I'm married but if I was dating someone and found out that they were a distant family member, I would keep dating them. I have family I have never met. Chances are I could be involved with a family member and never know it. Would I date a cousin or even a second cousin? I prefer that the family tree have branches so no. But finding out that the person I was dating was a distant relative wouldn't make me break off the relationship.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I don't know if this point has been mentioned but what about artificial insemination. It creates relatives who have no idea they are sisters and brothers. Sometimes, these people meet their sibling (unknown to them) and fall in love. I've seen a couple tv presentations about this.

 

[wvdisluv2]

You can thank my grandma (God rest her soul), for doing her part. She always told us that his (gandpa's) family never accepted her, because he moved off off the mountain and didn't marry a cousin.

God Bless Her!

 

[dislal]

Speaking of cousins, does anyone else here have double first cousins?

My mother's brother married my father's sister and their kids are my double first cousins.

Anyone else?

Yes this happened in my family my moms sister married my dads brother, it was kind of nice there where seven kids from both of these marriages and we where practically raised like brothers and sisters we were so close.

 

[iggbees]

even if i ever found a cousin or two attractive, i know enough about genetics to make me stay as far away from dating anyone possibly related to me.

my boyfriend is armenian, italian, and english and i'm 100% polish. i think i'm pretty safe.

 

[Took]

I would think that your third cousin would be much too close to be involved with. Now say my 15th or 20th cousin and that's a different story.

We studied this in college biology, actually. According to our professor and text, you're really not much if any more "related" genetically to your 3rd cousin than you are to most of the population at large. Now, a 2nd cousin is a different story and a first cousin is much, much more "related."

I don't think I would have dated a 3rd cousin (don't care for any of mine), but I don't think there's anything wrong with it (biologically speaking).

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I don't think the OP is talking about going to the family reunion looking for love.

Well, she kind of is. She's talking about her son who knows his cousin and knows that she is, in fact, his cousin, dating in the future. I'm not sure why, as parents, you would even be thinking that way.

Also, the subject of the thread is: Would you date a relative? That seems like a pretty straightforward question.

 

[LargoLori]

Ew. No.

What she said!!!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

even if i ever found a cousin or two attractive, i know enough about genetics to make me stay as far away from dating anyone possibly related to me. my boyfriend is armenian, italian, and english and i'm 100% polish. i think i'm pretty safe.

What she said.

 

[corie161]

Well, she kind of is. She's talking about her son who knows his cousin and knows that she is, in fact, his cousin, dating in the future. I'm not sure why, as parents, you would even be thinking that way.

Also, the subject of the thread is: Would you date a relative? That seems like a pretty straightforward question.

Actually, we've never been to a family function together. The only reason that I happen to know they are related is because of a Family tree book done back in 1977 and I remember seeing the girls mother in there. She didn't even grow up anywhere near here, but happened to meet a guy from the area, married and now lives here. The kids both have been told they are related, but when you're 7 or 8 and never see each other at family functions it doesn't click to them.

And it's not like I'm looking for them to hook up. Jeez. Some people obviously see it as a big deal, and some don't, that's the opinion I was looking for, just a topic of conversation. Odds are as they get older they would see themselves as related and it wouldn't be even something they would consider, but there is always a what if scenario. For all I know, they could grow up hating each other. Like I said, simply a conversation topic. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

I'm not sure about the gross smiley but a quick search of google says there are lots of people out there who don't think it's gross.

I went to training for my old job and the instructor would constantly tell the class - Well, from where Lynne is from, they have a lot of incest and you will have to talk about it ...... By the end of the training, I would say, "I'm not really from there, I just live there." But it turned out to be true because I can tell you some gross stories.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Actually, we've never been to a family function together. The only reason that I happen to know they are related is because of a Family tree book done back in 1977 and I remember seeing the girls mother in there. She didn't even grow up anywhere near here, but happened to meet a guy from the area, married and now lives here. The kids both have been told they are related, but when you're 7 or 8 and never see each other at family functions it doesn't click to them.

And it's not like I'm looking for them to hook up. Jeez. Some people obviously see it as a big deal, and some don't, that's the opinion I was looking for, just a topic of conversation. Odds are as they get older they would see themselves as related and it wouldn't be even something they would consider, but there is always a what if scenario. For all I know, they could grow up hating each other. Like I said, simply a conversation topic. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think that you can easily explain to a 7 or 8 year old that having a crush on your cousin is not appropriate. I mean, I wouldn't punish them or anything but you should definitely have those conversations.

I think I misunderstood your OP. It sounded to me like you and your DH were talking about whether or not it will be okay for them to date when they are older. I just find the whole conversation, even if it is just "what if" for now, a bizarre one to have about your own children. Why even consider that possibility?

 

[corie161]

I think that you can easily explain to a 7 or 8 year old that having a crush on your cousin is not appropriate. I mean, I wouldn't punish them or anything but you should definitely have those conversations.

I think I misunderstood your OP. It sounded to me like you and your DH were talking about whether or not it will be okay for them to date when they are older. I just find the whole conversation, even if it is just "what if" for now, a bizarre one to have about your own children. Why even consider that possibility?

Really, I've already said I think it would be weird or awkward, but plenty of others here have attested that they wouldn't think anything of it as well as those that think it's gross. Just a matter of opinion, doesn't make it right or wrong. I guess my point was if they didn't know each other and ended up dating would that make it any more appropriate? Like others have brought up, what about artificial insemenation, or adoption? We weren't necessarily talking about them dating, but the topic in general.

 

[ladycollector]

I think that you can easily explain to a 7 or 8 year old that having a crush on your cousin is not appropriate. I mean, I wouldn't punish them or anything but you should definitely have those conversations.

I think I misunderstood your OP. It sounded to me like you and your DH were talking about whether or not it will be okay for them to date when they are older. I just find the whole conversation, even if it is just "what if" for now, a bizarre one to have about your own children. Why even consider that possibility?

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Really, I've already said I think it would be weird or awkward, but plenty of others here have attested that they wouldn't think anything of it as well as those that think it's gross. Just a matter of opinion, doesn't make it right or wrong. I guess my point was if they didn't know each other and ended up dating would that make it any more appropriate? Like others have brought up, what about artificial insemenation, or adoption? We weren't necessarily talking about them dating, but the topic in general.

And I'm just giving you my opinion on the matter and taking part in the discussion. If you don't know that you're related, that's a whole other kettle of fish. Of course, you can't be blamed but if you do know and then decide to go ahead and get together, that's where I have a problem.

In Canada, in my province, if you marry someone that you know you are related to, you are breaking the law. When I have to ask people if they are related in order to sign off on the marriage, it doesn't matter if they are 3rd cousins as opposed to 1st cousins. I will not* marry them.

*This used to read "cannot".

 

[Northstar]

In Canada, in my province, if you marry someone that you know you are related to, you are breaking the law. When I have to ask people if they are related in order to sign off on the marriage, it doesn't matter if they are 3rd cousins as opposed to 1st cousins. I cannot marry them.

From the brochure Getting Married in New Brunswick from Service New Brunswick:

"15. Is there anyone that I’m not allowed to
marry?
According to the “Prohibited Degrees of
Consanguinity Barring Lawful Solemnization of
Marriage in Canada,” a person cannot marry their:
• Mother • Father
• Daughter • Son
• Sister 1 • Brother 2
• Grandmother • Grandfather
• Granddaughter • Grandson
1 or half-sister, including sister by adoption
2 or half-brother, including brother by adoption"

Is it possible that the bar to any known relations marrying comes from your church's policy and not the civil requirements?

As far as I'm concerned, first cousin dating is icky. Dating anyone you were raised with, or knew as a family member, is icky even if there is no physical relationship.

But I'm okay with dating and/or marrying your second or more distant cousins that you never knew until you met as adults, and there was chemistry.

Poor Oedipus and Jocasta. You've got to feel sorry for people who don't know a lot about their roots... it's a good reason for opening adoption records IMO.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

From the brochure Getting Married in New Brunswick from Service New Brunswick:

"15. Is there anyone that I’m not allowed to
marry?
According to the “Prohibited Degrees of
Consanguinity Barring Lawful Solemnization of
Marriage in Canada,” a person cannot marry their:
• Mother • Father
• Daughter • Son
• Sister 1 • Brother 2
• Grandmother • Grandfather
• Granddaughter • Grandson
1 or half-sister, including sister by adoption
2 or half-brother, including brother by adoption"

Is it possible that the bar to any known relations marrying comes from your church's policy and not the civil requirements?

It's not my church's policy. It's my policy. I don't have to marry anyone if I see it as problematic. I see cousins knowingly marrying each other as problematic. If the law says certain relatives can't marry, then it's saying it is wrong. I'm not going to get into what degree of seperation there is between you. On the clergy information form sent out by the Province of New Brunswick, it simply has a check box for "yes" and "no" asking if these two persons are related.

 

[blu3d3vil]

http://www.realtor.com/alabama/nbselal.asp

 

[LuvOrlando]

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[Vijoge]

Famous Cousin Couples

Queen Victoria
Charles Darwin
Albert Einstein
Jerry Lee Lewis
Franklin D. Roosevelt
First Prime Minister of Canada, Sir John A. MacDonald
Jessie James
Christopher Robin
Rudy Giuliani
Edgar Allen Poe
Biblical Mary and Joseph were first cousins
Prophet Muhammad
Aemilia Lanyer
Jean Sebastien Bach
H.G. Wells
Werner von Braun