Would you date a relative?

[Aardvarks]

OMG is anyone else reading this thread getting a banner ad for what looks like an online dating/marriage service for people of South Asian heritage???

well I suppose it's better than datemycousin.com!

I actually have 3 work colleagues who are married to their first cousins.

It is quite common in certain parts of the Indian sub continent

 

[Vijoge]

Oh, ICK! I thought it was illegal in ALL states to marry anyone closer than a 4th cousin. Ick, ick, ick!

Nope, it's not even illegal in any state to marry a second cousin.

 

[babytrees]

The thing is, how many of us even know our third cousins? Many of us don't even know our second cousins. I'm nearly 60 and it's just been in the last few years that I've even met any of these distant relatives.

Any one of us could have easily dated a second or third or fourth cousin and didn't even know it. I don't think it's looking for cousins to date as much as it is dating someone and then finding out you are cousins.

With people this distantly related it's a non-issue as far as I'm concerned. It's just no big deal.

In my family it's easy to tell who I am related to....upon meeting I say "oh you are a B or a T or S" . Those features are undeniable

 

[CathrynRose]

I actually have 3 work colleagues who are married to their first cousins.

What????

Okay - I have to stop reading this thread. It's totally creeping me out.

AGAIN - half the population is the opposite sex. If you find out youre dating a cousin, you do have other options.

Yikes.

 

[disykat]

I'm amazed at the lack of understanding of genetics in this discussion. The degree of genetic relation of 3rd cousins is virtually insignificant in terms of health. We have 16 great great grandparents. They might have hundreds of descendents. Anybody who marries within their religion/ethnic group within a certain geographic radius probably IS related not too much further away than that.

I'm repeating this, but I doubt anyone will read it since they're too busy being grossed out. I only know the names of a few of my great great grandparents. The rest are a mystery to me and I have no proof my husband isn't related to them. I'm fine with it. I have never knowingly met anyone further than a 2nd cousin.

Seriously, do all the people who are so grossed out by 3rd cousins marrying know the names and lineage of all 16 of their great grandparents? I'm guessing I have hundreds of 3rd cousins out there - none of whose identities I know.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

I have a question though...


What about dating a cousin through a step parent?

Didn't mean to take over the thread OP, but was curious.

An Aunt on my stepfather's side had always said she didnt' know why I didn't go out with her nephew who I had always been told was a cousin.

We aren't blood related and he is my cousin through marriage.

Thoughts on this quandry? Anyone? Anyone?

 

[CathrynRose]

I'm repeating this, but I doubt anyone will read it since they're too busy being grossed out. I only know the names of a few of my great great grandparents. The rest are a mystery to me and I have no proof my husband isn't related to them. I'm fine with it. I have never knowingly met anyone further than a 2nd cousin.

Seriously, do all the people who are so grossed out by 3rd cousins marrying know the names and lineage of all 16 of their great grandparents? I'm guessing I have hundreds of 3rd cousins out there - none of whose identities I know.

I think - perhaps - because I am close with my 2nd cousins and our children know each other that this is bothering me.

But again IMO - KNOWINGLY going into a relationship 3, 4, 5th cousin - I still think it's strange.

Thats just my opinion. Obviously others feel different.

 

[CathrynRose]

I have a question though...


What about dating a cousin through a step parent?

Didn't mean to take over the thread OP, but was curious.

An Aunt on my stepfather's side had always said she didnt' know why I didn't go out with her nephew who I had always been told was a cousin.

We aren't blood related and he is my cousin through marriage.

Thoughts on this quandry? Anyone? Anyone?

Well, of course you have no blood relation, but you 'know' him as a relative. Were you raised around him since you were a kid??

And again I say - 1/2 the population is men - isnt there anyone else you could date???

I guess everyone's feelings are different - but this is totally strange to me.

 

[daisax]

Harry Truman is Barack Obama's fourth cousin (4 times removed) -- yeah, that's real close!

Other Obama relations:

Dick Cheney (8th cousin)

George Bush (11th cousin)

He's also some kind of cousin with Lyndon Johnson and Winston Churchill and Brad Pitt

Laura Bush and John McCain are 6th cousins

Hillary Clinton's a cousin of some sort to Camilla Parker Bowles AND Celine Dion.

"cousin-hood" is a very common thing.

 

[sunnyday123]

I don't understand the "removed" part of the cousins. How does someone get "removed"?


I think that if you are aware of them being related, you shouldn't date them.

 

[lemondog]

No matter how far down, if we were related in any way I just would not fee comfortable doing that. Icky!

 

[Vijoge]

.

Seriously, do all the people who are so grossed out by 3rd cousins marrying know the names and lineage of all 16 of their great grandparents? I'm guessing I have hundreds of 3rd cousins out there - none of whose identities I know.

Actually, I do know the names of all 16 of my great great grandparents. . (You only have eight great grandparents, by the way.) I've been working on our family genealogy for more than 20 years.

I am also pretty sure (I just checked my genealogy program and I can't find any I've met) that I have never met any known third cousins and only a few second cousins. You are correct in assuming that you no doubt have hundreds of third cousins.

ETA I take that back (see above)-I did find a third cousin that I know. I doubt that I'll date her though. .

 

[Vijoge]

I have a question though...


What about dating a cousin through a step parent?

Didn't mean to take over the thread OP, but was curious.

An Aunt on my stepfather's side had always said she didnt' know why I didn't go out with her nephew who I had always been told was a cousin.

We aren't blood related and he is my cousin through marriage.

Thoughts on this quandry? Anyone? Anyone?

I dated the son of my step-father's sister for a while one summer when I was about 16. We were teenagers when we met and no one in either family seemed to think anything there was odd about it.

 

[dahirsh]

I'm finding the level of disgust in this thread pretty funny. As recent as the first half of the 20th century it was legal in many states to marry your first cousin. And not that uncommon. Many of you that are grossed out by the whole thing might very well find an example, or more than one, in your own family tree if you traced it back.

Once you get past the first cousin level, I really think it's more a matter of how closely you were raised. If it's someone you grew up close to, of course it's icky. If it's a third cousin you never met until you were adults or even barely knew before that point, there is really no big deal.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'm repeating this, but I doubt anyone will read it since they're too busy being grossed out. I only know the names of a few of my great great grandparents. The rest are a mystery to me and I have no proof my husband isn't related to them. I'm fine with it. I have never knowingly met anyone further than a 2nd cousin.

Seriously, do all the people who are so grossed out by 3rd cousins marrying know the names and lineage of all 16 of their great grandparents? I'm guessing I have hundreds of 3rd cousins out there - none of whose identities I know.

I read it. Again. But, as often happens on the DIS, you're preaching to the choir. Some people just are determined to not get it.

Harry Truman is Barack Obama's fourth cousin (4 times removed) -- yeah, that's real close!

Other Obama relations:

Dick Cheney (8th cousin)

George Bush (11th cousin)

He's also some kind of cousin with Lyndon Johnson and Winston Churchill and Brad Pitt

Laura Bush and John McCain are 6th cousins

Hillary Clinton's a cousin of some sort to Camilla Parker Bowles AND Celine Dion.

"cousin-hood" is a very common thing.

Cool info, btw.

No matter how far down, if we were related in any way I just would not fee comfortable doing that. Icky!

No matter how far down? See post above.

I'm finding the level of disgust in this thread pretty funny.

Me too.

 

[disykat]

(You only have eight great grandparents, by the way.)

Since you read my post so carefully, you'll see I did get both the greats in there the other time I said it - LOL!

 

[Vijoge]

Since you read my post so carefully, you'll see I did get both the greats in there the other time I said it - LOL!

Sorry-I missed that. I do that often.

 

[photobob]

If you're from Alabama it's ok, anywhere else I'd say no.

I'm from Alabama and no we don't date our cousins. Tennessee however is a different matter.

Do you know what the definition of a virgin is in Tennessee? A 13 yo girl that can out run her brothers.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

For me, it has little to do with genetics, although it is true that more removed you are from your partner, the less likely your offspring will have genetic defects. For me, it's more about why you want to do this. (Again, I'm talking about knowingly date someone that you are related to.) There are so many interesting people in this world, why date someone that you are related to? To me, it could be indictive of issues.

 

[Took]

Nope, it's not even illegal in any state to marry a second cousin.

Ummm, yes, it is. If you had read all the posts, you'd see that.

It's not necessarily wise to reproduce with a 2nd cousin, but not illegal to marry them.