Work Retreat Cruise - Don't Want to Go!

[jdb in AZ]

I worked for a large company that had govt contracts so we were required to show a birth certificate before getting hired. My son had to show a birth certificate so he could sign up to play baseball when he was in elementary school.

After nine years of struggling with infertility DD finally had a baby, induced a week early so her DH could be there for the birth. Two days later he was deployed to Iraq. I'm not too sympathetic with your possible separation from your DH for less than a week for a working vacation.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I agree with all the previous posters. Your responses sound very immature just wondering how old you and DH are?

Sometimes in life we all have to do things we dont want to do. Its called being an adult

 

[mnrose]

Yup. Suck it up buttercup. This is the way the world of work "works" sometimes. I've had numerous separations from my husband for "work" reasons. Just the way it is. The longest was a trial that I was on in Baltimore when we lived in Central New Jersey. I was gone for 6 weeks (alright, I DID get to go home one weekend....took the train to and from). Just the way it was.

It's 5 days! If that's the longest you've been apart, consider yourself very, very fortunate, and thank your lucky stars. Don't complain about this relatively minor thing.

If this is part of the job for your husband, it's part of the job. Shrug.

 

[tvguy]

It's part of his job, just like any other business trip. Nice that he has the option of bringing family, but it is not required. He needs to go. I got flamed here last time I mentioned it, but every company I have worked for in the last 37 years has required us to share a room on business trips with someone of the same gender. For those who work for companies that pay for individual rooms, great, nothing wrong with that, just hasn't been my experience.

 

[SirDuff]

Am I being unreasonable in my anger and annoyance about this whole situation?

Yes, you are.

 

[Mokat76]

You are being unreasonable, as most of us have said.
Being a total introvert, here's my suggestion for your husband for alone time on the cheap. Sharing a cabin does not equal joined at the hip. There are plenty of out-of-the-way spots on ships. He'll be able to find them and have his down time. I've cruised several times and have always had roomies. When together time got to be too much, a book and I would seek out a quiet place. On days the ship is in port, the whole ship is usually quiet as most are on shore.
It's a terrible idea for him to decline this trip. He can ill-afford being seen as THAT guy. His boss is giving him a generous gift. He should embrace that. Get what he can from the work day, make some effort to be sociable, painful as it is, and have a back-up plan for some solitude.

 

[disney4us2002]

I don't want to pile on but would suggest reframing your thoughts....A cruise is a new adventure for you and there is something for everyone. You don't need to spend a dime extra to have fun, but if you can then you have even more opportunities. You can do lots of activities and be entertained in the theatre or just relax and lounge by the pool, read a book on deck somewhere, etc. To me cruising is almost the perfect vacation. I'm not a big fan of the Bahamas but the color of the water there is breathtaking. You don't have to pay for expensive excursions, you can just get off and walk around. There is a public beach not far from the pier. There is also lots of shops and restaurants by the pier if that's your thing. Try to think about and focus on the positives. I hope you are able to go and that you both have a great time. Some of my best friends are coworkers and former coworkers. You never know...

 

[aprilgail]

I agree with all the previous posters. Your responses sound very immature just wondering how old you and DH are?

Sometimes in life we all have to do things we dont want to do. Its called being an adult

I agree- being apart for 5 days is no big deal! OP sounds very young or maybe they are young and have just recently gotten married?? Otherwise I don't see what the issue is with him going and her not. He will just have to put on his big boy pants and be on his own for 5 days.

 

[Allison]

Yes, you are being unreasonable. He is traveling for work. It is no big deal.

 

[PopSugar]

Honestly-after the ONE day of work-are all the "single" travelers supposes to "hang " with their roommates?
I would DREAD doing this as a single...and I doubt MY DH would have done it-he HATES cruises
Is there ANY way for him NOT to go?

 

[gwynne]

This is plain and simple a required work trip. He needs to go.

 

[Pembo]

I would pay the difference so I didn't have to share a room. Enjoy the time alone OP. It's a only a few days.

 

[ronandannette]

The girls trip will require much less time apart. We would part around lunchtime Tuesday and I would be home early afternoon Friday (approximately 75 hours). The cruise trip will require him leaving early morning on a Monday and not returning until Saturday evening - around 135 hours, almost twice the time of the girls trip.

Sorry OP, there's just no way to make that argument seem reasonable.

It does sound a little more dramatic when you count it in HOURS...sort of like when parents call their 4 y.o. 48 months! I must admit this made me giggle.

ETA: Hey congratulate me - today is our Anniversary! We've been married 183,960 hours (you do the math)!

 

[mom2rtk]

OP, if you knew the company was looking at October or November for this trip, I'm curious why you scheduled the Disney trip and girls' trip that same time of year? It sounds like you knew this was coming and complicated it by adding additional personal travel plans to the schedule.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

A lot of people travel for work. My husband does frequently. Sometimes it's a day and sometimes it's a week or two. He is required to have a valid passport. I wish his company would offer to let me go along. Even at my own expense. I would love to go to Germany with him someday. However he has to go on short notice so it would be difficult for me to go anyway. I don't like him going, but that's the way it is. I know it could be way worse. My brother travels frequently. I think he's away more than he's home. My poor sister in law is left taking care of their two young children by herself all the time.

 

[SirDuff]

The girls trip will require much less time apart. We would part around lunchtime Tuesday and I would be home early afternoon Friday (approximately 75 hours). The cruise trip will require him leaving early morning on a Monday and not returning until Saturday evening - around 135 hours, almost twice the time of the girls trip.

Would you husband be taking the Tuesday and Friday off of work? Otherwise, how do the hours of Tuesday morning or Friday afternoon get counted as being together?

But thanks for the chuckle by counting it in hours

 

[morgan98]

Seriously, I wonder how old the OP is? This sounds like something two teenagers who are dating would be lamenting about. Also, who counts their time away from home in hours? This all sounds a bit crazy and controlling to me.

I am married and my husband has a job where he travels extensively, both domestic and international. I travel occasionally for work as well. Maybe because we were older when we met and married, these kinds of things are not even on my radar, but we are apart fairly regularly. Is it always ideal? No. But quite frankly, it is a bit of a change in the routine. I would not say we enjoy being apart, but it goes fast and is over before we know it.

As for the cruise, I would spring for the separate room for your husband. It will all be okay.

 

[disney4us2002]

It does sound a little more dramatic when you count it in HOURS...sort of like when parents call their 4 y.o. 48 months! I must admit this made me giggle.

ETA: Hey congratulate me - today is our Anniversary! We've been married 183,960 hours (you do the math)!

Happy Anniversary - 21 years? Hopefully, my math is correct, lol.

 

[PlutoPony]

Would strongly recommend getting a passport for your husband, he may need it for future travel with this company. Since he's going to have to get the birth cert for the cruise, might as well go ahead and get the passport now while you are at it.

Maybe next year, you might want to save your week off for whatever retreat your husband's company does. I'm sure he'd enjoy the trip more if you were with him (and vice versa)

 

[okeydokey]

He accepted the job knowing this was how it was done, so I guess he goes on the trip or finds another job that won't take him away from you for more than 4 days at a time.

In the future maybe you should not plan trips for October or November until you know about the work trip so you can make it work together. I would love to have this as part of my job.