Will u allow or not allow your child to go away to college?

[lovemyboy]

i think if my child wants to go away i would allow them.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

My 2 DD are freshman and senior both away at school and both love it.

The older one took to it like glue and is doing very well. GPA 3.8.
I was a little worried with my younger DD as she wasn't as social as many other kids. I was wrong.
We knew this school was for her more then others we visited.
She could have skipped senior year in high school, she's adapted so well.
Found her niche of friends, started clubs and very invovled.

They both go to SUNYs- states.

 

[Patience]

We did not tell our daughter that she could not go away to college. Our oldest daughter is away at college right now for her freshman year. She could have gone to a 4 year state university an hour from our home and commuted. That university, however, does not have the major she is interested in, plus my husband and I both went "away" to college and we feel strongly that, if you can afford it without going into debt, living away from home as a college student is beneficial.

What we did was tell our daughter, long before her senior year, that we could afford for her to attend the four year in-state university of her choice and she would be able to graduate from such a school debt-free. She received some scholarships from private universities in our state that would have enabled her to attend those for about the same price as the public state universities but they didn't offer the major she is interested in and she wanted to cheer for a Division 1 school. Had she wanted to go out of state, she would have had to borrow and, luckily, she is very level-headed and did not want to graduate in debt. She is happily living in a tiny dorm room two and a half hours from home, having a ball cheerleading and is, thus far, doing very well in her classes. She doesn't get to come home very often because she often travels for away games but we go to the home football games and take her out to dinner afterwards.

I will point out, once again as I have many times on discussion threads like this, that student aid and student loans are very different these days from what they were when my husband and I were in college in the 1980's. A student can only borrow $5500 as a freshman in subsidized Stafford loans which do not require a co-signature. Any other loans will almost certainly require a parent's co-signature. Therefore, because a parent will ultimately be on the hook to repay student loans, I feel it is completely reasonable for a parent to have substantial input as to how much will be borrowed and for what purpose. If a student can put themselves through college without loans requiring co-signatures, then I believe the parent's input should be much less. The fact is, however, that the days of a student being able to earn or borrow enough money in their own name to pay for a four year university education are over for most students. Obviously, students who receive substantial merit aid and need-based aid are different. I am talking about the majority of students who will not qualify for significant merit aid or need-based aid. Those kids will be stuck with only $5500 in subsidized Stafford loans and Parent Plus loans or private educationl loans which require co-signatures for the rest, unless the parents and student have saved and are able to pay.

 

[moopdog]

Admittedly, I didn't read the whole thread just the first post, but wanted to chime in.

I don't think I will have a "right" to allow or now allow my kids to do anything in particular after they graduate from HS. At that point my kids will both me 18 and if the want to do something I strongly disapprove of...they can move out. Not really up to me at that point. I should also mention that I'm not paying for their educations. They can get good enough grades to get a shot at scholarships (so far...so good), and take out student loans for the rest.

That being said - I would be happier if they choose to go a little farther away than "local". Not saying it has to be halfway across the country, or even out of state. But I'd prefer if it's more than a couple-hour drive to prevent them from being tempted to come home every single weekend instead of trying hard to adjust to being out of their comfort zone, by fitting in and fully embracing "college life" away from home (minus the puke-fest binge partying I hope!).

I feel this way for two reasons:

1) we live in a very rural area, and I'd like to see them experience a different way of life (city?) so that they can make an INFORMED decision about where they might or might not want to live and raise a family of their own one day.

2) I happen to believe that it sort-of matters what school you go to. I think you first need to decide WHAT you want to do for a career and only then can you decide what schools teach it best.... that's just my opinion. To each their own!